Chapter Twenty-Five Kai
I feel a little silly in my sweater as we pull up in front of the hotel and everyone around is dressed in expensive linen and designer clothes. The thing is, we’re not just in the South of France, we’re in Monaco and it’s the Formula One race weekend which we are watching apparently.
The streets are teeming with opulent cars, and the crystalline blue water a few steps away is lined with yachts that rival the traffic in the streets. I can barely keep my eyes a normal size as I look around in disbelief.
A few minutes ago, Zara texted asking why I was in the South of France according to my location. I haven’t responded but my sisters are not going to believe this—I can barely believe it as we step into the sleek hotel lobby that smells of sandalwood and something citrusy.
A tall man with thinning hair dressed in an expensive suit appears in front of us and bows his chin slightly. “Welcome to The Hyatt, Sirs. It’s truly a pleasure to have you as our guests. My name is Julian, and I will be taking care of you during your stay.” He has a thick French accent and that stereotypical look of constant disdain. “If you follow me, I will take you up to your suite.”
He begins to walk towards a set of elevators, and he swipes a keycard over the scanner. “These are your keycards. Only you have access to this elevator which will lead you directly to the Presidential Suite.”
Julian hands us each a chrome card with HH engraved into the metal-like material. I notice Levi holding my hand again and I give him a grateful look. It’s like he always knows when I’m overwhelmed.
These last few weeks have been a dream. I spend most of my time with them or at work and a part of me feels a little guilty for neglecting my friends, but Jenna is more than happy for me, and I know Marie is constantly dying to blurt out that Levi and I are together when we’re in the office and he joins us for lunch.
It’s nice to have him there again, and I know I’m being very obvious when I sneak glances at him across the table and he smiles. Eventually, people will figure it out, maybe they have already, but for now, I’m happy with just Marie and Jenna knowing.
The elevator doors slide open to reveal a large entryway with an arched ceiling that leads into a spacious living room. The floors are made of white marble and French-style windows overlook a balcony and the cerulean sea littered with yachts that look miniscule from up here.
“Everything has been prepared to your liking Mr. Armas.” I fight the gasp that forms inside me as Julian leads us through the suite.
“Thank you, Julian,” Cole says.
“Your bags will be up soon. Once again, if you need anything, whatever that may be please do not hesitate to call me.” He bows his chin again and says his goodbyes before leaving via the elevator.
Once he’s gone, Cole turns to Levi and I. “So, good surprise?”
I nod quickly. “Good is an understatement. This is amazing.”
Levi lets go of my hand and kisses Cole once. “I wouldn’t say thank you yet. I have a feeling this is just the beginning.”
I look out the French doors that lead to the balcony, at the bright blue sky and then around the lounge area that leads to two wooden sliding doors that I assume lead to the bedroom. I think I’d be pretty content with staying holed up in here for the rest of the weekend, but Levi is right, I know that won’t be happening.
Several pairs of eyes land on us as we walk through the dimly lit restaurant and out onto a terrace. The smell of brine and food lingers in the air mixed with laughs and clinks of glasses. It’s eight in the evening, and the sun is sinking into the horizon, colouring the sky in bursts of bright orange and pink. It’s probably the most beautiful sunset I’ve ever seen.
Cole’s hand rests on the small of my back as I follow behind Levi, a few eyes trailing us as we find our table overlooking the azure water.
“Everyone’s staring,” I say, as Cole pulls my chair out for me, and the waiter does the same for Levi.
I look around and my eyes land on a woman with bright red lipstick a few tables away from us. She’s sitting across a man with uneven tufts of white hair on his balding head. She meets my eyes, leans forward a little and smiles.
“They should see us naked,” Levi says.
The waiter’s eyebrows shoot up behind him, and he lets out a strangled cough. I cover my mouth, fighting my laugh. He clears his throat and quickly straightens himself. “Would you like to see the wine list?” he asks.
It’s the kind of restaurant that doesn’t bother with showing the price of anything. If you are here, you can afford to be here. I called my sisters earlier and gave as vague details as possible about who I was here with. That only led to a barrage of questions I could barely answer before the next one came.
“Are you with your mystery fuckbuddy?” Zoe.
“Why won’t you tell us who it is?” Zara.
“Is he ugly?” Zoe.
“Oh my God, he’s ugly and old, isn’t he?” Zoe.
“If he’s taken you to Monaco then it’s cool if he’s ugly and old. You gotta do what you gotta do. We won’t judge.” Zara.
I know I should probably tell them at some point, but we haven’t discussed telling people although I don’t think it’s a secret either. Neither of them seems to mind that Jenna and Marie know about us. Maybe when I get back to London, I’ll fill my sisters in and tell them all about it but for now, I let myself enjoy this.
Dinner is beautiful. I drink way too much wine and eat enough food to have me full for the next couple of days. When the sky has turned a deep midnight blue, and the water sparkles with lights from the boats, our waiter suddenly appears with a mini cake on a silver tray. Two sparklers are set alight, sparks flying everywhere.
“Joyeaux anniversaire, Monsieur,” the waiter says with a bright smile as he sets the cake out in front of me.
My heart races as I look at the white frosted cake with Joyeaux Anniversaire! printed out in chocolate. For a brief moment, I’m confused until it hits me that my birthday is tomorrow, and I’ll be twenty-five. With everything going on, I had pretty much forgotten about it.
I look between them, warmth spreading through me. It’s like I’ve been plunged into a dream I never want to wake up from. “H-how did you know?”
“Jenna,” Levi says, grinning triumphantly. “Were you not going to tell us it’s your birthday?”
I shake my head, that warmth inside mixing with an emotion I don’t really understand. It feels like something I shouldn’t feel but something I desperately want. “Oh, I didn’t want you to…”
“Make a big deal out of it?” Levi finishes.
I wince. “Yeah.”
Next to me, Cole pulls out a blue velvet square box and holds it out for me to take. “Well, you’re a big deal to us, Kai. You’re as much of a part of this as we are, and I hope you know that. If not, this can be a reminder.”
I reach for the velvet box gingerly, my hands shaking slightly. I open it to find a silver bracelet etched with white diamonds sitting on top of a white cushion. My eyes fall on Cole and Levi’s wrists. They are the same matching bracelets they never take off.
“Happy birthday, Kai,” Levi says. “As Cole said, you’re a part of us and I know we’re still figuring this out, but this is just reassurance that we’re in it together.”
My eyes mist over, tears welling in my eyes, but I quickly blink them away. “I don’t know what to say,” I whisper, looking down at the bracelet. “Thank you. For everything. This weekend, the bracelet, just...”
As much as I don’t believe all those things Kenny used to say to me, for once, I feel like I belong with someone like I’m a part of them.
Yet, despite all the happiness that swirls through me, a thick lump suddenly lodges in my throat, fear sinking its claws into me. It’s that strange feeling you get when something good happens, that maybe things are too good and soon, something will happen to snatch it all away.
I swallow down any of those thoughts and focus my attention back on both of them, mustering my brightest smile. I hope they believe it. “I’m just happy I get to be here with you both,” I whisper.
But Kenny’s message still sits on my phone.
I know he’s somewhere out there and the creeping feeling that he’ll show up soon keeps the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. I took nine years of his life, and I know he’s determined to make me pay for it.
I wake up to light streaming into the bedroom. I reach out, but the bed is empty and already cold. I feel myself panic for a second but quickly remember I’m in Monaco with my boyfriends. No one pinch me. I lift my left arm and the diamond bracelet gleams in the sun that spills through the tall windows that look out to the sea.
“You’re awake,” Levi says walking into the room.
He’s shirtless, dressed in only his boxers. I watch him as he rounds the bed and slides in next to me before kissing my lips. “Good morning. Happy birthday, baby”
I beam, warmth spreading through me. I’m twenty-five and this is definitely the best birthday I’ve ever had. “Thank you,” I say. “Where’s Cole?”
“On a call with Daniel,” Levi says.
I nod, sitting up and looking at Levi. His hair sticks up in different directions and like this, he looks ten times more adorable than usual.
“What?” he tilts his head.
I grin, shaking my head. “You know you’re ridiculously adorable, right?”
He furrows his brow. “I don’t think anyone has ever used adorable to describe me.”
“What do they usually use?”
Levi shrugs. “Oh, you know, hot, sexy, stunning…”
I hear myself giggle. I’m so in love with him it hurts, “Agreed with all of those too.”
Levi stretches out his legs and taps his thigh. I’m quickly learning that doing as I’m told comes pretty easy when I’m around them. My mother would have a field day with this. I straddle him, trying my hardest not to grind against him.
“Hello,” I say, our foreheads touching.
“Hi.” Levi smiles.
He looks at me for a long moment, brown eyes staring into mine carefully. If you look closely enough, there is a faint smattering of freckles on his nose and a beauty mark just by the left side of his mouth.
“What are you thinking?” I ask.
Levi’s smile is watery. “Just wondering if this makes me selfish, having both you and Cole.” I frown, my heart rate suddenly picking up. He chuckles, placing a calming hand on my cheek. “I just mean, even if it is selfish of me, I don’t care. Which is unusual for me.”
“Which part? Being selfish or not caring?”
“Both.”
I nod. It’s clear Levi struggles with some aspects of himself and I think I understand it—the constant guilt that for some reason you don’t deserve to be happy.
“I don’t think it makes you selfish,” I say after a second. “I think this just makes all three of us lucky.”
Levi tilts his head, smiling. “Huh, my therapist said the same thing,”
“Then it must be true.” I kiss him quickly before slipping off the bed. I’m twenty-five and this is already the best birthday ever. “What’s on the agenda today?”
After a delicious breakfast overlooking the water, they take me through a morning of shopping for clothes that cost a fortune. It’s odd letting someone else spend so much money on me but anytime I try to pull out my wallet, Cole looks at me like I’m offending him, and Levi just laughs. Eventually, I stop trying and it turns out shopping is a million times more fun when you don’t have a budget.
Kez and Anant join us in the afternoon, and I swear I spot a few celebrities walking around with massive shopping bags. The excess of this place has my head spinning half the time and my mouth hanging open the other half.
It’s late in the afternoon and we’re sitting by the beach, a D.J. playing a house music set somewhere on the deck.
I sit next to Cole, leaning into him although I’m not paying any attention to the conversation he’s having with people whose names all sound made up, but I don’t mind. I just like being next to him and feeling his hand resting on my thigh.
Kez appears in a sheer orange dress that sweeps the ground, her hair sitting on top of her head in bouncy curls. She takes the seat next to me, her skin glistening in the sun.
“You look bored. I’m here to save you,” she whispers with a smile.
Cole glares at her but she only glares back. “Problem Armas?” she asks.
“Get fucked, Kez,” he mutters.
“Oh, you wish.” She grins wickedly and pulls me away from the riveting conversation discussing stock trends and New York real estate. Near the bar, I spot Levi talking to Anant and a group of guys who strangely all look alike dressed in pure white linen.
“Let’s get a drink,” Kez says quietly with a bright smile. “You and I have to stick together in these places.”
I snort, knowing what she means. “I was enjoying the discussion about the cost of penthouses in New York.”
Kez laughs, throwing her head back as we find somewhere to sit alone.
“So how is it going with those two?” she asks when a waitress magically appears with a tray of margaritas. Kez hands me one.
Of course, she would know, and it feels strange to talk about it with anyone other than Jenna but she’s Cole’s best friend and she’s dating Levi’s best friend.
“Good,” I say. “I’m just getting used to all of this, I guess.” I gesture at everything around us, smiling sheepishly.
Kez nods. “It is a lot to take in if you’re not used to it but you’re handling it like a pro. A duck to water if you may,” she says.
I laugh, her approval makes me feel good. I know how important she is to Cole. “Thanks.”
She shifts to look at me directly. “Look, I’m not going to give you the if you hurt my best friend, I’ll hurt you speech because I don’t think I need to. But how much do you know about Cole?” She pauses, eyeing my wrist. “Must be a lot if you’re wearing that bracelet.”
I know what she’s asking, and I understand why she would. “I know about what happened.”
Kez nods slowly. “You know, I pretty much figured they were into you the moment I met you?”
My eyebrows lift. “You did?”
“Honestly, you three didn’t try that hard to hide it.” She waves a hand. “But what I’m trying to say is you being with them means you are now part of a small group of people Cole cares about which also means there is nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure you’re safe. You get what I’m saying?” she asks, her eyes trying to tell me something I think I understand.
I nod. It’s always been glaringly clear that he would never let anything terrible happen to Levi. Looking down at my bracelet, I know I have to believe it’s the same for me now too.
“He means well is all I’m saying,” Kez says after a moment. “But his family has always treated him like shit. Try to stay away from them if you can—especially Nick.”
“I haven’t had the pleasure,” I say.
“Good. Keep it that way,” she says before smiling brightly. “I’m happy you’re here, Kai. I’m happy you’re with them. I think you’re good for them.”
I match her as the sun sinks behind her, painting the sky an orange that matches her dress. “I think they are good for me too.”
And despite the palpable fear of losing them that sits in my gut, I let myself enjoy this.