Chapter Thirty-One Cole
Maybe watching my boyfriend fuck my other boyfriend whilst he reads my favourite book aloud is not the best idea when I’m six thousand feet up in the sky with Daniel and the rest of my security detail. I feel my cock strain against my jeans as Kai’s filthy moans and Levi’s quiet encouragement fill my EarPods.
I’ve missed them both; it's almost been impossible to focus on anything without them close by and I took an earlier flight to get back to them as quickly as possible.
But being back in New York with my grandparents after everything that has happened felt good. Nanny has insisted on keeping my room the same with old high school notes, books and questionable fashion choices all still stored in cupboards and drawers.
On my first night there, during dinner, I couldn’t help but tell them about Kai. My grandfather looked me right in the eyes and asked if it meant I was constantly having threesomes. That earned him a slap on the arm from Nanny.
And last night, to add the proverbial cherry on top, Petrov found out about the seized shipment. He was going to kill Nick until my father called me, demanding I fix it. A part of me didn’t want to, a part of me wanted to cut the call but I did as my father asked and Nick was returned with only a few broken ribs.
According to a few texts from my mother, Nick is currently recovering under my father’s watchful eye. She’s tried to call me a few times, but I’ve ignored her each time. If I never have to see my family again, I’d be fucking ecstatic.
Daniel clears his throat, looking up at me from his iPad. I sneakily shove my phone back into my pocket and look at him in question. His mouth settles into a line, a deep frown on his face.
“What is it?” I ask cautiously.
“I don’t know how to say this exactly, but I think I found what Kai is hiding.”
My stomach drops because the look on Daniel’s face is not a look I like. He looks down at the iPad and then at me. “When you asked me to look into him, all his records were clean. There was nothing suspicious or anything, but just to be thorough I looked into his messaging cloud.”
Whilst I know this is a gross invasion of privacy and Kai might hate me for it for a little while, my concern for him was reaching a boiling point and his safety is my biggest concern. He can be angry if he likes.
“Okay, what did you find?” I ask.
Daniel licks his lips. “He has received a few calls and texts from unknown numbers—probably unregistered sim cards. I asked my guy to keep digging and it turns out the number once belonged to a Lily Walsh. Lily Walsh is Kenny Walsh’s sister. Kenny is Kai’s stepfather who was arrested for possession amongst other charges. Kai was fourteen or fifteen when it happened, but Kenny was recently released—about four months ago which is when Kai began receiving the texts,” Daniel says.
My mouth feels dry. “What do the messages say?” I ask.
He winces, holding the iPad closer. “I don’t think you should—”
“Daniel.”
He swallows and hands me the black tablet. For a moment, my eyes scan the screen, unable to process what I’m reading. There are at least a dozen, all increasingly menacing. My heart shatters and sinks all at the same time as I go through them.
Did you miss me? I know I’ve missed you.
You can’t ignore me.
Remember, Kai. 100K.
I frown, my eyes going over the messages again. Across me, Daniel clears his throat again. “It looks like he’s demanding money from Kai. My guess is that’s what Kai has been hiding from you. I’m not sure what he’s told you about his past, but looking at this, it wouldn’t be a crazy leap to assume that Kenny might have been abusive when he was growing up.”
I can’t stop rereading the messages. A weird rage builds inside me. It’s an odd emotion. I think I can count the number of times I have felt rage. The first was Nick locking me in that shed. The second was when Levi told me about what Adam did and the third is now—dark, red-coloured rage.
“A hundred thousand pounds is a lot of money,” Daniel says. “But it’s money Kai has access to now. Has he mentioned anything?”
I gave Kai a black card and with it, he can pretty much access as much money as he’d like to, but he’s never used it. He wasn’t very happy with me when I handed it to him.
“No,” I say. “I guess he didn’t want us to think he’s in it for the money.”
Kai is everything good and pure and my heart breaks thinking how terrified he must be of his stepfather.
“How long until we land?” I ask, gritting my teeth.
“Three more hours,” Daniel says.
My ears ring and I want to punch something, but I swallow the rage down as quickly as it comes. No one thinks straight when they are angry. Impulsivity is not my thing. I always thought if I was going to make someone suffer, I’d do it slowly. Death by a thousand cuts rather than a quick slash.
I sit back in my seat and shut my eyes, willing the plane to go faster. My mind fantasises about all the terrible things I will do to Kenny Walsh once I get my hands on him.
When we land back in London, the thoughts of Kenny Walsh still cloud my thoughts. I desperately want to get home to Levi and Kai, but I know they are still at the hotel opening. I’m almost tempted to show up there, just to hug them and make sure they are okay, but I have security with them, and I could use a shower after the flight first.
Just as I slip into the back of the car, my phone vibrates, and Kez’s face appears on my screen. I frown, why would she be calling me now?
“Hello?” I answer cautiously.
“Cole? Where are you?” she sounds breathless on the other end. “Please tell me you’re back.”
“Just landed. Why? Is everything okay?”
“It’s Levi,” she says. “Kai found him passed out on the floor and then he—they are saying he’s had a seizure. We called an ambulance but he—he…”
“He what Kez?” I see my entire world falling apart right before me.
She’s sobbing on the other end, and I hear Anant trying to soothe her then muffled sounds before Anant speaks, “Hey, Cole,” he says. “They just left for the hospital with Kai and we’re not far behind. You have to get here.”
“Which hospital?”
“St. Thomas,” he says, and I don’t need to say anything before Daniel is already driving.
I’ve never liked hospitals. I hate the smell, the too bright lights, the noises but above all, I hate the doctors. They remind me of Doctor Phillipe with his mousy expression and constant look of disdain. I’m not thinking about that as I rush through the hallways, Daniel behind me.
A nurse tells us he is in the emergency ward and when we get there, Kez is wrapped in Anant’s arms and Levi’s parents are here too, tears staining Raina’s cheeks. One of the security guys, Harry, I think, is standing next to them, but something else is wrong.
Kai isn’t here.
Before I can get a word out, Raina throws her arms around me, tears fall on my shoulder as I hold her closely, trying my best to be calm for her.
“They said he had an allergic reaction to some drugs which caused a seizure. I—I…” she trails, unable to continue as she breaks away. She dabs a tissue to her red eyes. “I don’t know what to do. He’s all alone in there.”
“Where is he?” I ask.
“The doctor is with him now. The nurse said they would pump his stomach and test his blood to see what drugs are in his system,” Oliver says, coming over to take Raina to sit.
“Levi doesn’t do drugs,” I say. Not anymore at least.
Oliver gives me a thin smile and nods. “I know,” he says. “But when Kai found him, he was nearly unconscious. I don’t think we can know what really happened until he wakes up.”
My blood is rushing through me. Levi is somewhere in there and they are pumping his stomach. Scenarios I’d rather not think of rush through my mind but Kai. Where is Kai?
“Where is Kai?” I ask.
Harry ducks his head slightly and chews on his bottom lip nervously. “He uh, he left, sir.”
“He left?” I repeat.
Harry nods, pursing his lips. My jaw clenches and I have to take in a quiet breath to steady the storm raging inside me. If he lost Kai, he’ll be the first one I kill.
“But I have someone following him,” he rushes out. “He hasn’t left the building. I believe he’s downstairs in the general waiting area.”
I’m acutely aware of everyone watching our exchange with careful eyes but I don’t care. I need to find Kai. I need to make sure he’s okay. I look at Oliver. “Call me if the doctor says anything?”
Levi’s dad nods, holding onto Raina tightly. “Of course. Go,” he says, waving me off a little.
Adrenaline is pumping through me as I rush downstairs, using the stairs instead of the elevator. I rush past the entrance hall, ignoring the stares from nurses and doctors as I make my way to the waiting area.
My heart is racing in my chest, my eyes scanning the sparse crowds made of patients, cleaners and late visitors. Finally, I spot him, sitting alone in a chair, his head buried in his hands. A quiet breath leaves me as I watch him, relief washing through me, calming every single worry that had settled inside me. He’s fine. He’s here.
“Kai?” I say softly, walking up to him.
He looks up, his eyes meeting mine and his lips parting. A mess of curls sits on his head and his eyes are rimmed scarlet, wet with tears. He sniffs, the surprise obvious in his eyes. “Cole,” he whispers. “I—”
I hold his face in both my hair, brushing away a stray tear with my thumb. “Why aren’t you upstairs, princess?”
He flinches in my hold and opens his mouth before closing it again. “I—I don’t think I should be here anymore,” he says, pulling away to stand a few feet away from me.
It stings.
“I’ve messed up badly, Cole. I left him alone. I’m so sorry. He was all alone, and I wasn’t there.” His body begins to tremble, tears rolling down uncontrollably.
I don’t care if he pushes me away, I pull him into a tight hug, running a hand down his back. I hate seeing him like this and despite my need to be upstairs with Levi, I know I need to be here too. I need to make sure Kai is okay. The feeling is almost instinctual. Kenny flashes through my mind but I bury him deep for now.
“Kai, it’s okay,” I say, pulling away. “Tell me what happened?”
His face is red, but he sucks in a quiet breath, “I had to—” he falters, shaking his head but I know what he means. He had to meet Kenny.
“He wasn’t where I left him. Someone said they saw him leave with Adam. I don’t know what happened but when I found him, he was alone and then he just started convulsing on the floor. I’m so, so sorry. I should have been there. I shouldn’t have left. I messed up. I was going to leave but I couldn’t, not until I knew he was okay.”
I frown. “Why would you leave?”
Kai averts his gaze. “Because everything that is happening is my fault,” he says. “His car, and now this. I don’t want either of you to get hurt because of me.”
Realisation dawns on me. Kenny must have keyed Levi’s car as some kind of warning to Kai.
I focus back on Kai, touching his cheek so he looks at me.
“Kai, listen to me, none of this is your fault and there is no way in hell I’d ever allow you to walk away from us again.”
Adam must have slipped Levi something earlier in the night without either of them noticing. If anything, it’s my fault I didn’t get rid of him the moment Levi told me the truth.
Kai shakes his head. “No, you don’t understand. There are things about me I haven’t been fully honest about. I—”
“I know about Kenny,” I say, cutting him off.
His eyes widen and he takes a step away and out of my grip, shaking his head a little. “H-How?” he asks.
There’s no point in lying. He can choose to be angry with me if he likes but I’m willing to do whatever it takes to keep him safe.
“I knew you were hiding something after Monaco, and you weren’t going to tell either of us, so I asked Daniel to look into you,” I say. “I know it was wrong, but I just wanted to make sure you were okay. This is not an excuse because I’d do it again, but I am sorry if it crosses a boundary.”
Kai looks at me, eyes wide. “Oh,” he says, swallowing. “I guess that’s fair. You also have a lot to protect so it’s okay. I get it.”
I shake my head, hating that he thinks that I care about any of that. “I couldn’t care less about what I have, Kai. I just wanted to make sure you’re okay.”
He looks at me for a long moment, like he’s finally processing the fact that I care about him.
“How much do you know?”
“I saw the messages he’s been sending you,” I say levelly. “I know he hurt you.”
Kai nods slowly then smiles wistfully. “He liked to kick me in the stomach a lot. Never the face in case people got suspicious,” he says, voice low. “I ended up in A&E a few times. My mother thought I liked getting into fights at school. He’d make me tell her and the nurses that.”
“Kai…”
His eyes meet mine, his irises flaring with both anger and regret. “But that’s not all of it. He’s only doing this because I did something awful to him.”
“Tell me,” I say.
He shakes his head, a sad smile on his lips. “I don’t want you to think any less of me.”
“He abused you, Kai. I don’t know what you did and frankly, I don’t care because whatever you did, he deserved a million times worse.”
I watch his shoulders drop, and I realise no one has ever told him that before. No one has ever told him that what Kenny did was wrong and he deserved way worse than a ten-year prison stint.
“You know the beatings weren’t even the worst part of it?” Kai says after a moment. “He liked to tell me that I would be sent away, always said my mother didn’t love me or need me. I started to believe it after a while, but even if she didn’t love me anymore, I had to stay for my sisters. His friends were—” he huffs out a bitter laugh.
“One day, I was home alone, and he barged into my room, and found me watching a video of two guys. He was laughing so loudly, only stopping to demand I strip naked. I thought he was going to—” he swallows.
Something inside me snaps. I feel it, like a twig being snapped under someone’s foot. Kenny Walsh deserves to be in the ground with maggots feeding on his rotting flesh and if I have it my way, he will be.
“Did he…?” I ask.
He finally looks up at me. Tears dance in his eyes. “No, he didn’t. He just wanted me to know that he could. Some days, I wished he would so I would stop guessing when he’d finally do it. I think it was another way for him to torture me. I just wanted it to stop, and I didn’t want him to send me away so,” he takes a deep breath, “I asked a friend of mine to plant some drugs and he got arrested on that plus a few other charges.”
“I didn’t want either of you to know about any of it. I didn’t want to ever think about him again but then he got released and things spiralled… I know I fucked up. I should have said something from the start. Maybe I could have stopped him from keying Levi’s car. Maybe I could have stopped all of this. I’m so sorry.”
“He hurt you, Kai. He hurt a kid, and he was hurting you again. There is nothing for you to feel bad about.”
“I should’ve…”
“You were doing what you’ve always done, which is keeping the people you care about safe. I know you’ve had to worry about your mother and your sisters, and you had to protect them from Kenny and God knows what else, but I promise you don’t have to think about any of that anymore. You have us to take care of you now.”
He shakes his head. “But I can’t offer you anything. I feel like I should do something, like I can’t just take all of this from you and give nothing in return.”
Something inside me breaks because what did Kenny do to make him believe he must give something in return for love?
“Kai, you are already doing everything you need to do. All you need to give us is you. That’s it. We don’t want anything else. I don’t want anything else.”
He laughs quietly, wiping away a lone tear. “Funny, Levi said the exact same thing last night.”
I smile. “Which means I’m right since Levi is the smartest.”
“This is…”
“You don’t have to worry about Kenny anymore,” I tell him. “Promise me you won’t speak to him again?”
Kai shakes his head. “I can’t. He said he would hurt you if I got the police involved and if I didn't give him that money. Levi is already hurt, and he could target you. Kenny is dangerous and he knows people who are way worse. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if something happened to either of you.”
He is right.
But whilst Kenny might be dangerous, I could be so much worse. Right now, I want to watch him burn. I want to cut him open and let him watch as his own guts spill to the floor.
“You never have to worry about any of that. My job is to protect you and Levi with everything I have. I hate myself because I couldn’t do that today, but I won’t fail again.” I let him go and kiss him hard, so he believes me. “I love you so much, Kai.”
He breaks away, lips parted. “You do?”
And I realise it’s true. It’s been true for a while.
“You look surprised.”
Kai shakes his head. “I just never thought this is where we’d end up.”
Falling in love with Kai was not part of the plan. I didn’t even think I was capable of falling for him but slowly, he weaved his way through me until he was completely embedded in my skin.
“Honestly me neither. I’ve always considered Levi to be the centre of my universe and I’m just in orbit. Somehow, and so quickly, you have become my centre too. You rule me, Kai, and whatever you want me to do, I’ll do it. I’ll be your lover, your personal executioner, your heaven, and your home, for as long as you let me.”
Tears well in his eyes again and I feel mine grow misty as well. He pulls me in, hugging me so tightly I can barely breathe against his neck. I breathe in his scent. He smells just like us.
“I love you too, Cole. I love trusting you with everything I am and have. I love being yours,” he whispers. “I love you both. So, so much.”
And for a second, everything feels like it’s going to be okay.
A doctor appears in the waiting area just as we make it back upstairs. “Are you Levi Bellamy’s family?” she asks
“We are,” Raina says, standing. Her face is still stained with tears.
“I’m Doctor Amy Green,” she says. “I’m overseeing Levi’s treatment. It appears he was drugged with a mixture of Ketamine, and Rohypnol. His body had an acute reaction to the Rohypnol which is what led to the seizure. We managed to pump his stomach and gave him something to combat the drugs already flowing in his bloodstream which means he will be just fine.”
Relief floods through me just as Kai sags against my body.
“We would like to keep him overnight for observation, but he will make a quick recovery,” Doctor Green finishes.
“Oh, Jesus, thank you,” Anant whispers.
“Can we see him?” I ask.
Doctor Green gives me a thin smile. “Of course. He’s asleep right now so maybe you can all go in very quietly and wait for him to wake up.”
I hold Kai closely as we enter the room, and something seizes inside me when my eyes land on Levi. He’s lying on the bed, a catheter stuck in his arm, pumping in a clear liquid. A nasal cannula sits snuggly under his nose. He looks alarmingly pale, so far from his usual colour and it makes my stomach roll, but his chest is moving up and down and he looks peaceful.
He’s alive.
He’ll be fine.
Anger and relief swirl through me all at once and I’m not sure which to focus on. Raina sobs quietly in Oliver’s arms. I know this scene is all too familiar for her.
“Let’s give Cole and Kai some time with Levi?” Oliver says.
I give him a grateful smile as he ushers Kez, Anant and Raina out.
Kai holds onto me for a while, and I feel his heartbeat settle into a rhythm with mine. Levi will be okay, so will Kai and soon, I’ll take them away from all of this. I let Adam go the first time. I won’t do the same with him or Kenny this time.