Chapter 32
Present Day
“Shit,” I breathe. My chest is rising and falling fast from the erratic thumping of my heart. There is no way that this just happened. There is no way I just kissed Eden, and there is no way she just kissed me first .
I stare at her, absolutely stunned, trying to make sense of the past few minutes.
Eden’s wide eyes are locked on me and she looks paralyzed, almost terrified, but also just as confused as I am.
Does she understand what just happened? Does she realize what we’ve just done?
Not only is she my stepsister , I also have a girlfriend.
Who is waiting for me right now across the street.
I am such an idiot . I am furious at myself for being so stupid.
“I’m going to Rachael’s,” I blurt out quickly. I zip up my jacket and turn for the door.
I need to get away from here, from Eden. I need some space to really process this and to figure out whether or not the realization I just had is, in fact, true or not. Because right now, I am seriously praying that it isn’t.
I am so desperate to get out of this house.
I find myself sprinting downstairs, two steps at a time, and I burst out through the front door, inhaling several gulps of fresh air.
I stand on the front lawn for a minute with my hands in the pockets of my jacket and my head tilted back to the darkening sky.
Just when I thought my life couldn’t get anymore messed up, I have to go ahead and commit a moral fucking sin.
Way to go, you moron . Eden isn’t my actual sister, but it’s still so weird.
It’s making me feel nauseous, and I know that the only way I am getting through this is if I do what I do best: distract myself with a whole lot of alcohol.
Forget Declan. I don’t have time to head across town.
I need something now , and if alcohol is all I can get my hands on, then I’ll take it.
I tilt my head back down from the sky and look directly across the street instead.
All of the lights in Rachael’s house are on and I can hear the very faint pulsing of music, but from the outside, it doesn’t look like there’s a party going on.
Tiffani did tell me they were keeping it small, probably so that Rachael’s parents don’t kill her.
I walk straight across the street, my pace quick, and when I reach Rachael’s porch, I stop to compose myself.
Be Tyler Bruce. Be cool. Be happy . Tyler Bruce didn’t just kiss his stepsister.
I did. I almost gag right there and then, so I throw open the front door and step into the house, plastering a crappy smile onto my face. I need beer. Lots of it.
It’s not busy yet. It’s still early, but people are beginning to arrive, so Rachael is lingering around by the front door to greet everyone. She struts over to me, already wasted with a gaze that can’t stay focused, and she glares at me as though I’ve insulted her just by turning up.
“ Where is Eden?” she immediately asks. Not even a hey. “She’s supposed to be here by now!”
“I don’t know,” I lie, then briskly push straight past her.
I am not talking about Eden. I am not discussing her, nor saying her name, nor even so much as thinking about her.
I stride into the kitchen and scan the mountain of drinks that cover the table.
I’m an asshole who hasn’t brought my own booze, but whatever.
There’s enough to go around. There’s a box of beer already opened in front of me, so I start by plucking out a can.
Suddenly, someone presses up against me from behind. She rests her chin on my shoulder and runs her hand down my chest, sliding it under my jacket. “Mmm,” Tiffani murmurs, and I can hear the seduction in her voice. “You’re here.”
“Oh,” I say, turning around to face her. She is the last person I want to see. “Hey.”
Tiffani looks up at me as she slings her arms around the back of my neck, pressing her body close against mine. I can see straight through her teasing smirk though. She’s really just mad at me because I haven’t seen her much over the past week. I’ve got too much stuff going on right now.
“Have you missed me?” she asks, and I can’t help but place one hand on her hip out of habit.
She would instantly figure out that something is up if I didn’t go along with the script.
I brush my fingers over the white, silky material of her dress.
She does look amazing, but my head is spinning so much that I can’t appreciate it right now.
“You know I have,” I tell her. I haven’t .
She smiles wide and pulls my lips down to meet hers, and I kiss her only for a second.
It makes me stomach twist. Ten minutes ago, my lips were against Eden’s.
I retreat from Tiffani, holding up the can of beer in my hand, using it to separate us.
“Can I at least get a drink in? I can’t do this party sober. ”
Tiffani’s glistening blue eyes and playful smile immediately transform as she presses her glossy lips together. She unhooks her arms from around my neck and steps back. “When do you ever?” she mutters.
“You,” I say, pointing my beer at Kyle Harrison as he walks into the kitchen. He freezes, almost as though he’s afraid I’m about to pummel him or something. We don’t talk, but he was in my history class last year. He’ll do. “Get outside. Time to shotgun some beers. A lot of beers, actually.”
Tiffani’s cool hand reaches for my elbow. She tugs me back a step, narrowing her eyes at me in disapproval. “Tyler… C’mon.”
“Not now, Tiff.” I shake her grip off me and scoop the box of beer into my arms. I walk over to Kyle, and although he doesn’t look too comfortable about the idea of chugging all these beers with me, he also doesn’t have the courage to say no.
Tyler Bruce doesn’t let people say no anyway.
I nudge his shoulder, and he follows me out into the backyard.
“Here,” I say, setting the box of beer down on the grass and tossing him the can in my hand. I grab myself another, then pull out my car keys from my pocket. “We’re finishing this box. Alright? No breaks in between.”
“Man… Are you sure?” Kyle says as he stares doubtfully down at the can in his hand. Anxiously, he rotates it around and around, furrowing his thick eyebrows. “I don’t wanna throw up.”
I roll my eyes. “Shut up. Now go.” As soon as the words leave my lips, I stab my keys into the can and press the new opening to my mouth, tilting my head straight back and chugging the entire can in seconds.
I shotgun beers a lot. I’ve found it’s the quickest way to get me drunk, numb, and, therefore, distracted.
“ Número dos ,” I say, crushing the empty can in my hand and tossing it onto the grass.
Kyle finishes a few seconds later, gasping for a breath of air, and I immediately toss him another can.
I can feel Tiffani’s intense stare piercing straight through me from the kitchen, so I turn my back to the window and try my best to tune her out as Kyle and I chug our way through two, three, four, five beers.
The speed at which we are consuming them is too fast, and I can feel the beer in my stomach, and Kyle has staggered over to the corner of the backyard and is shoving his fingers down his throat.
I lean back against the wall for a few minutes, breathing deeply, letting the alcohol soak into my bloodstream.
When I glance inside the kitchen through the window, Tiffani isn’t there anymore, so I leave Kyle throwing up in the backyard and make my way back inside.
More people have arrived. People from school. People I would only occasionally talk to if I felt like it. Usually, I stick to my own circle. Is Eden here yet?
Stop thinking about her .
I ignore everyone, weaving my way around the girls that are doing shots of tequila by the sink, and I grab a bottle of vodka, fill more than half a cup with it, then top it off with some Coke.
And I slam the damn thing. The strength of the drink burns my throat, but I don’t care .
I have every intention of obliterating myself tonight.
That’s why as soon as I finish the first, I pour myself a second.
“Living up to your reckless reputation?” I hear someone remark, and when I glance over, Jake is approaching. He has a bottle of beer in his hand, and he presses his hip against the countertop and takes a sip, eyeing me with his shitty, devious smirk.
“Don’t fucking talk to me,” I spit, turning my back to him. It’s the first time I’ve seen him since he took Eden home last weekend, and although I do need to talk to him about that, I can’t do it tonight. I can’t talk about her.
Jake steps around me, smiling wider. He’s such an asshole. “Is it because your sister slept at my place?” he says, his voice innocent, his eyes full of sadistic pleasure. He just loves to get under my skin.
I press my hand to his chest and shove him back a step. “She’s not my sister, you moron.” If he comes any closer, I won’t hesitate to floor him. “Get out of my face, Jake. I swear.”
“Whatever. Drink yourself to death and see if I care,” he mutters, turning away and strolling out of the kitchen, probably off to pounce on whatever female he sees first. I can’t believe we used to be best friends when we were kids. He’s such a fucking freak.
I chug the drink in my hand again and remain in the kitchen for the next hour, because the kitchen is where the alcohol is.
I join the girls by the sink and take a shot of tequila with them.
I do shots of vodka with everyone who is unfortunate enough to so much as walk into the kitchen.
No one is getting a choice. Even Rachael takes one with me, but I figure it’s only because she’s already drunk.
Tiffani, on the other hand, isn’t impressed when she walks into the kitchen and lays eyes on me.