Chapter 15
brENT
A night filled with kisses, a couple of morning orgasms, a large stocking stuffed with goodies, and Rafe’s hand on the small of my back… I think I’m dreaming. There’s no way this is happening when I’m awake. It’s just not possible. This is better than a dream. More than I even dared to imagine.
Yet, I can feel the heat of his hand on my back through my shirt. It’s a hot spot, like I have a heating pad on high in that one space. It burns, sending heat through me in a bit of an inappropriate way.
We enter the room with the Christmas tree. My eyes immediately snag on the mistletoe. That’s what started this whole thing. One simple kiss. Innocently staring at a picture. In this very room. My favorite room.
When we were in here yesterday, it was just the tree with very little furniture.
Presents everywhere. There’s now a whole lot of seating—couches, cushions, chairs, blow-up pools that I see the kids are sitting in—and the tree towering over everyone with the hundreds of presents spilling away. Reaching like tendrils.
“Good morning. Merry Christmas,” a chorus of voices greets us.
“Brent gets the Bigfoot stocking!” Marietta cheers.
I flush as I look at it and then around the room. There are only smiles, but I still feel as if I shouldn’t have chosen this one.
“Mom, how many stockings are hidden?” Rafe asks as he guides me further into the room.
“Forty, even,” she answers.
“Cool. And how many are here today?”
“Thirty-eight.”
Rafe meets my eyes as he gives me a smile. See? You didn’t take one from someone else.
I sigh, bowing my head, and allow Rafe to bring me along to a double-wide chair where we climb in together. His hand lands on my thigh, and I have to catch my breath.
Fake. Fake. Fake.
This doesn’t feel fake, though. Something about spending the holidays with his family while he’s touching me like this feels far too real for my heart to take.
“Who are we waiting for?” Candice asks as she leans over the side of her pool. I see that there are half a dozen cushions and pillows, as well as a holiday-themed blanket inside the pool with her. Besides Rafe’s four nieces, there are five other kids, four of whom have pools.
“They’re to keep their gifts contained,” Rafe tells me when he sees me examining them. “All the stocking goodies and presents. There’s also a new blanket in them every year, and it’s first-come, first-choice. We started the tradition when I was seven or eight, I think. Mom saw it in a magazine.”
“That’s really cool.”
“It is. And the adults get bags,” he says as he accepts a holiday themed canvas bag from his father. He hands me one next, though this one is enormous. He winks at me and crosses the room again.
“You have the big stocking,” Rafe says, grinning widely. “We reuse the stockings, so we need something to contain the goodies in. Usually these are reused, too. They get shipped back to Mom, but like everything else, Mom restocks during clearance sales.”
“Found one!” Ryanne says. “Guess I should get up earlier so I don’t have to search so hard.” She touches Marietta’s head on her way by.
“Or hire one of the kids with boundless energy to search for you,” Royal suggests. “That’s what Beatrice and I did.”
Both girls hold up a handful of dollar bills to show.
“Ah. Work smarter, not harder. Noted for next year.”
“Are we all here now?” Candice asks. “Can we open them now?”
Mom looks around the room, and I think she’s counting heads. “Yes, open.”
“We open stockings together, once everyone is here,” Rafe says, pulling out a candy cane from the stocking in his lap.
Mine is sitting on the floor against my leg, the top reaching a foot over my knee.
“Then we have breakfast. After breakfast, we open gifts on one side of the tree. Intermission. Open gifts on the other side of the tree. Lunch. Then we end with the gifts all around the base and under the tree.”
“Does it take that long?” I ask. Yes, there are a lot of presents, but there are also almost forty people here.
“Yeah. Only three people are ever opening something at any moment. Part of the reason is so we don’t end up in mad chaos with wrapping paper everywhere.
Another reason is so we can all enjoy seeing others open the gifts we’ve given them.
It’s a time to give thanks for the thoughtfulness and not let the day go by in a blur of greed. ”
I sigh as I look around the room. Everyone is reaching into their stockings and pulling something out. No one is in a hurry. Even the kids are examining the items they pull out.
My heart feels full, like a stupid cliché. My eyes are a little misty. Why couldn’t I have been born into a family like this?
Rafe nudges me with his elbow. “Let’s go, boyfriend. You have the most to get through, and unless you want sticky-fingered help, you best get moving.”
“My hands aren’t sticky, Uncle Rafe,” Candice calls, proving that everyone is listening.
There’s a lot of everything and anything inside, and it’s probably one of the most amazing gifts I’ve ever been given.
There are random things like socks and cute suit ties.
There’s a full bottle of wine, a quill and inkwell set, and a beard kit, which we have a good chuckle about.
Neither of us keeps any facial hair to speak of.
“What if a woman found this stocking?” I ask. Rafe nods in the direction of Rice and Annie as they trade something among themselves. Ryanne is trading with Xavi.
“We share. Sometimes, like the ties, they can be used for other things.”
“Oh yeah?”
Rafe gives me a mischievous smirk. “Yep.”
I’m clearly being a little na?ve, but my cheeks flush all the same with the way he’s watching me.
I turn my attention back to the enormous stocking in front of me and continue pulling items out.
A ruler, a stationary set in a leather case, a stuffed axolotl, a new smart watch, a leather belt—to which Rafe told me it, too, can be used for things other than holding up pants—a beautiful piece of art, a model car kit…
the stocking seems endless, each item being more exciting than the last.
When I finally reach the end, my lap is full, and everything is spilling onto Rafe’s lap. I look at him, a little breathless, feeling overwhelmed. “This can’t all be for me,” I say.
My heart nearly stops when he leans in and kisses me. Right on the lips. In front of his entire family. “All for you,” he murmurs.
I stare at the things of every kind piling up all over us, and if I hadn’t refused to cry for the past six years over anything at all, I might be sobbing right now.
“Come on. Grab your bag. Now we’ll reexamine it all as we pile it in.”
We do, and it’s like seeing so many things for the very first time. I missed the locally made hand lotions, the resin hockey figures, the hat and scarf set, headphones, hair elastics… I think everything multiplied. That’s the only explanation.
I’m just setting the last thing on the top—the stuffed axolotl—when Rice, Royal, and a cousin stop in front of us. Royal hands us each a plate and silverware, napkins, and moves on. The cousin is wheeling a cart.
“How many cinnamon rolls?”
“Three,” Rafe says and holds up his plate. Three enormous rolls are set on his plate, and the cousin turns to me.
“One, thank you.”
“Oh no. You’re going to want more,” Rafe says.
“There are a lot of people here,” I argue.
He gives me an amused look. “I promise there are plenty. There will be leftovers.”
“There will be,” Rice agrees.
“Two,” Rafe says for me. “Final answer.”
Two are placed on my plate. The cousin winks and follows the direction Royal took, leaving Rice in front of us. He hands us each a bowl of fruit, a mug of hot cocoa, and a bottle of water before moving on.
“We eat right here,” I note as I see the kids climb out of their pools. I imagine it’s so their stuff doesn’t get sticky.
“Yep. We’ll help with lunch. Everyone takes a meal today, so no one is separated from the family for any length of time.”
Uncle Ryan comes back around to collect all the dirty dishes when we’re finished. I won’t admit it out loud, but Rafe was right. I could probably have eaten a dozen of those cinnamon rolls. They were probably 1200 calories apiece, but damn, were they good!
“Okay, first gift,” Marjorie says as she gets to her feet. “Who will it be for?”
“Me!” Candice says.
“You had the first gift last year,” Marietta argues. “It should be one of our cousins.”
“No, it should be Brent,” Candice disagrees, and everyone turns to look at me.
I flush.
“Hmm,” Marjorie says as she walks down the long, long line of presents. Edward stands off to the side, and I think that they probably have a routine. “Ah. This one looks good. What do you think, Ed?”
Edward makes a show of looking it over, examining the wrapping and the bow on top. “Yes. This’ll do.”
Rafe wraps his arm around my waist, pulling me close to him. The internal chant of fake, fake, fake is practically drowned out as I snuggle into his hold. My heart melts when he presses a soft kiss to the side of my head.
“From Santa, to baby Leah,” Edward reads.
The room breaks out in cheers as he weaves through the seating to bring Royal and Beatrice’s baby, Leah’s, gift. Leah is sleeping as infants do. I’m impressed that she didn’t wake up with the cheers. They weren’t quiet.
The entire room watches as Beatrice opens the present and holds up a cute romper that says Santa’s little devil.
Eyes turn to Rafe, and he smiles, pulling off the innocent look pretty well. Enfield cackles, and it sets off a series of laughter. I can’t stop smiling, though I’m not sure I’m in on the secret.
“I have always called Rice’s kids demons, and Royal’s is the devil itself. Beatrice had an awful pregnancy. I thought it was fitting,” Rafe explains.
The room turns to quiet chatter as Marjorie picks up gifts, announces who they’re for, and Edward delivers them.
There are only ever three being opened at once as we all watch and listen to the person thank the giver.
I settle in against Rafe and watch, hugging the axolotl to me. This is the best day of my life so far.
“From Mom and Dad. For Brent,” Marjorie calls.
My heart stops as I stare with wide eyes.
Everything within me stills. But… how can that be?
I literally showed up out of nowhere. I could tell from the way Marjorie had greeted me at the door two days ago that she hadn’t known I was coming.
Hell, I only agreed that morning! They didn’t have enough time to know.
Edward hands me the gift with a smile, and I stare at it in my hands. I shift so I’m sitting up straight and look at Rafe.
“You didn’t think that my parents were going to let you go without, did you?” he asks, grinning.
“I… but when?”
He doesn’t answer. Rafe just keeps smiling. “Open it, Brent.”
It’s a leather-bound edition of Peter Pan with gilded pages, painted edges, and it’s simply stunning. Chills race over my body. “I don’t think I even told you that this is my favorite fairy tale,” I whisper.
Rafe kisses my head again, and I practically turn to mush. I look up, meeting Marjorie’s eyes. “Thank you. It’s… lovely.”
She beams. “You’re welcome, darling.” She turns back to the presents.
My heart pounds in my chest as I stare. I’m dangerously close to breaking my promise of not crying. Tears sting my eyes for real as I stare at the words in foil. My fingers trace over the leather.
I’m pulled out of my reverie when my name is called again. I’m about to break down. I can tell. Edward hands me another gift, and I look at Rafe, speechless. This one is from his uncle and aunt.
I seriously don’t understand.
He touches my cheek and then cups my face, bringing my forehead to his. “We’re going to spoil the fuck out of you,” he whispers. “Because that’s what family does.”
I’m sure his words don’t carry, but there’s no way that the entire room misses how I catch my breath and shiver. He pulls me into his arms and hugs me tightly.
I’ve never, ever felt so damn included, welcome, and wanted in a place in my entire life. I’ve never felt this kind of love from virtual strangers.
“Open it,” Rafe urges.
I do, and I’m grinning like a little kid.
It’s a handheld gaming system. One of those all-in-one games that has all the really old eighties Atari games and nineties games when they started to get really fun.
“This is amazing.” I meet the aunt and uncle’s eyes from across the room.
This isn’t Ryan and Betty. I think they’re Edward’s sister and brother-in-law, if I remember correctly. “Thank you.”
She inclines her head with a smile.
I’m given three more gifts before the first break, and I’m absolutely ready for a good cry.
Instead, Rafe pulls me into his lap, and I let myself pretend that this is real.
I stop the chorus of fake in my head and bury my face into his chest, breathing him in.
With my face hidden, I let the tears I’ve been fighting since my Peter Pan gift surface.
I don’t full-on cry. I’ll save that for the shower or something private.
But I can’t fight the surge of emotion lodged in my chest. If a family can go out of their way to include me in their festivities, making me feel like part of the family when I showed up unannounced out of the blue less than forty-eight hours ago, it really puts into perspective how shitty my parents were.
It’s not about gifts. It’s truly not. Hell, any of these things could be a pair of underwear from the dollar store. But they went out of their way to make sure I wasn’t left out today.
People often say that it’s the thought that counts. The effort put in. That’s what this is about. Such little things can be the biggest gestures.
I fully expected to be here watching, and that’s completely fine. I’d known that Rafe had a great family from the first time he mentioned them. I just hadn’t been prepared for how great they really, truly are.