Chapter 19
NINETEEN
Zara
I’ve never undressed in front of a man before. In fact, I haven’t undressed in front of anyone in general since I was very young and needed my mother’s help to get pick out my clothes.
I’ve never had sex either. I don’t know if this is something I need to announce beforehand. Does Kyle need to know that? What difference would it make anyway? Besides, it’s nobody’s business but my own.
Adrenaline kicks in, the rush of it causing me to shake like a leaf. I don’t break eye contact with Kyle when I slide the straps of my bra over my shoulders. That’s when I chicken out, though, courage deserting me in my time of need, and the straps remain hooked on my elbows.
I watch in shock as Kyle leans forward, pressing open mouthed kisses against my chest, starting with the sensitive skin underneath my chin. I jump when he sinks his teeth into it, then sucks on it, licking at what I’m sure to be his teeth marks.
By the time he gets to the tops of my breasts, I don’t know how to process anything that’s happening. My legs want to give out from under me. It would be very embarrassing if I passed out at the feet of the one person who I’m hoping will relieve me of my virginity.
Kyle licks alongside the lacy edge of my bra, focusing on each side like this is what he’s always dreamed of doing.
“That feels good,” I murmur when he tugs at my cups, almost causing for my breasts to spill out.
Without warning, he digs his fingers into the sides of my waist, then picks me up and spins me around until he drops me on the mattress. His sheets feel good against my overheated skin. They are cool and soft, and most importantly, clean.
Just as I am about to think more about the state of Kyle’s house and what a positive experience this is, cool air hits my nipples, causing them to pucker in distress. My bra is now tucked under my breasts. I probably should cover myself, but that would only delay him giving me what I want.
My heart beats a mile a minute when Kyle lifts himself over me, staring into my eyes for the longest time.
“This will be the best night of your life.”
His words hit me right in the heart where they will live forever from now on. I have no doubt that I will never forget him.
I watch in awe as he lowers his head, hovering over my breasts until I have this sudden urge to arch my back off the bed. As if I have no control over my own body, I do just that, and my nipple brushes against his lips.
“Fuck you’re beautiful,” he groans.
He opens his mouth and pulls my nipple in, pressing it with his tongue against the roof of his mouth. His teeth sink into the tender flesh, and I jump more out of surprise than because of the pain he’s inflicting.
Sooner than I am ready, he brings his head up, and I squirm in my spot on the bed.
“More,” I beg. “Give me more.”
It’s like the dam has been broken, and now, everything I’ve held inside of me for so long is flooding all my senses, threatening to drown me in their path.
Kyle doesn’t lose any time in giving my other breast the same attention as before.
Once again arching my back, I press my breast harder into his mouth, ready to take everything that he has to give me.
When that’s not enough, I reach down with both hands, holding his head in place, with my fingers shoved into his hair.
My hips move of their own volition, reaching the point where I am not sure which way is up. There is just too much happening to my body at the same time. All my senses are invaded by this visceral need to explode. That’s the only way I can describe it.
I am so into my own head that I don’t realize when Kyle forces his head out of my grip.
My breasts suddenly feel cold and in need of more attention, but he seems to be having other thoughts.
My eyes widen in surprise when he licks in between them, then he makes his way down, only stopping to give some attention to my belly button.
I had no idea that would be part of the program.
“Next time,” he murmurs against my skin, “I will drink champaign out of it. And then…”
He continues his trail until he reaches the band of my panties.
“I will watch it run down your body…” He places open mouthed kisses along the material, making me break out into tiny little bumps. Staring up at me, he pulls on the elastic with his teeth.
“I will get drunk off it while drinking it off your sweet pussy.”
Something strange happens to me. I don’t know if it is caused by the fact that he is about to be my very first sexual partner, or if I am hallucinating. But something liquid gushes out of me at hearing his words, and my vision goes blurry.
“That’s my girl,” he mumbles from somewhere in the vicinity of my most private parts, but I can’t focus on anything other than this feeling of absolute joy that’s invaded my body. I love everything that he’s doing to me, and I don’t want him to stop anytime soon.
I feel him pulling onto my panties to take them off, and I lift my hips to assist him with it. I can’t imagine that whatever he will do to me next will be less pleasurable.
Since I am expecting everything to be at the same level of awesomeness, I about jump out of my skin when I feel his mouth right there …
“Oh my god, Kyle!” My hands find his head again, with fingers digging into his scalp and pulling on his hair.
He sucks on me like it’s everything he’s ever wanted. When he alternates between that and licking at my entrance, I see stars. I can feel liquid that never stops gushing out of me. It causes me to experience this weird mixture of embarrassment and intense pleasure.
“You are so good,” Kyle calls out from in between my legs. “You’re going to come for me, aren’t you?”
He continues talking, saying things that I don’t understand, things that I don’t even want to understand. All I care about is how he’s making me feel, and there is no comparison to anything I have ever experienced.
I stare at the ceiling but I’m not sure that I can actually see it. My body is weightless, the only thing holding me down right now being Kyle’s tongue as he’s licking me dry. That is my anchor. Except for the fact that nothing is dry, and the more he works on me, the wetter I get.
I open my mouth, ready to scream, but nothing comes out. Instead, my back arches off the bed, almost painfully so. For a split second, I fear that I might die. It would be very unfortunate if I died during what I can only assume is my very first orgasm from oral sex.
It’s not until my brain kicks into gear again that I realize it’s over. That feeling of intense pleasure is still there, though. It’s in every fiber of my body.
Once the dust has settled so to speak, there is so much pressure in between my legs, and I am at the point where I can’t stand the feeling of Kyle touching me like that anymore. The spot is too sensitive now that the pleasure is floating away.
I push at Kyle’s head, trying to be as gentle as I can. I’d hate to offend him after all that. Fortunately, he moves right away, and I close my eyes, allowing myself a few moments of recovery before I have to make any eye contact with him.
Somewhere in the background of all the noise inside my head, I feel the mattress moving, then some shuffling that I can’t place. After a few seconds, I open my eyes and try to clear the haze surrounding my brain.
“What are you doing?” I whisper when I notice Kyle standing on the side of the bed as I make every effort not to glance below his waist. I am curious but so not ready for that, I realize with a start.
Kyle, with his always happy demeanor, gives me a cheery grin. “I had to grab a condom.”
That is when I lose control of my eyeballs, and they slide down his body. The part of him that’s supposed to go inside of me looks huge, so much bigger than when he pulled it out the other night. I understand the mechanics of the act, but there is no way it can go inside of me.
Kyle places his hands on the mattress, then crawls up to me until he is in between my legs. They open up in invitation for him despite what my head is thinking. Apparently, the other parts of me have different ideas.
The moment he settles over me, with his elbows on each side of my head, I have this little panic attack. I want to tell him that I need a little more time. That maybe we’ll resume on some other day. That maybe…
His messy hair falls down his forehead, almost covering his eyes. Their intense color is holding me hostage, and I can’t mutter one word. When he brings his mouth closer, my lips open in invitation, ready for the hot kiss he’s promising without words.
Our mouths connect, and he doesn’t disappoint. His tongue does a couple of lazy sweeps, going in and out, tempting me to follow suit. My eyes close again as I give this kiss my all, hoping that this night will be as memorable for Kyle as it is for me.
While leaning to the side, he brings one hand up and touches the side of my breast. He skims his fingers against my skin before cupping it, then focusing on the protruding nipple.
His fingers squeeze just a tad too hard, and my hips automatically come up.
I feel his very generous erection brushing against me, and I want more.
Kyle’s mouth tastes different this time, and I realize that it has to be from him licking me.
That means that he tastes like… me. Had I thought of it before he started kissing me again, I would’ve shied away from having his mouth anywhere near me.
But now, as his tongue continues massaging mine ever so gently, I have to admit that I don’t mind any of this at all. In fact, it’s a huge turn on.
I can feel myself getting extremely wet again. It happens so fast, I don’t even have time to process it. Instinctively, I open up to him, and when that is still not enough, I bring my heels higher on the mattress and press myself against him with everything in me.
“Fuck yeah,” Kyle groans into my mouth while his fingers are still giving my nipple all the attention that it needs. At some point, he switches arms, resting on the other side of me while his hand goes to my neglected breast.
“Please,” I whisper, although, I have no idea what I am even asking for. All I know is that he is making me feel good, and that if he stops, I will go ballistic on him.
Kyle disconnects our mouths, and before I have a chance to protest, he comes up to his knees while pushing my breasts together, his lips taking turns as they wrap around each nipple.
During this entire time, his hips rock gently, with his member coming incredibly close to the one part of me that he is about to change forever.
“Are you ready for me, baby?” he asks in a gravely tone, his eyes boring into mine.
I only nod because words escape me. Whatever he is doing to me now, I don’t want it to stop. I want to leave his house tonight as a completely changed woman, in the best of ways.
Kyle pushes the hair out of his face, but when he looks down, it falls all over the place once again. I watch as he wraps a hand around himself, causing me to squirm into place. He brings the tip closer to my entrance, and then, I can feel it prodding, trying to push in.
My mind goes completely blank, and I don’t know what to do.
I dig my fingernails into the sheets and brace myself for impact, scared that maybe I didn’t think things through.
But then I have to remind myself that this intimate act was bound to happen at some point in my life.
I just don’t know why I chose to do this with Kyle for the very first time, knowing that our situation is not even a situation, and it is all a very temporary thing.
Aren’t you supposed to be in love with the person you’re giving your virginity to?
The erratic thoughts distract me from him pushing in a little more. I try to reposition myself, getting a bit uncomfortable, but not enough to put a stop to this. It’s not so bad, I tell myself. I was all worried for nothing.
Kyle’s forehead breaks onto a sweat when he looks up at me.
“You are so tight,” he mumbles, or at least I think that’s what he says. “So fucking tight.” He sounds like he is in awe of the fact.
And then, that’s when I feel it. Pain like I have never felt in my life. It’s intense, and I worry that he might actually split me in half.
“Oh my God,” I cry out, this time not because of how good he makes me feel.
I want to push through, clenching my jaw and praying that the pain is only temporary, but when his hips surge forward without warning, I let out the loudest scream.
“It hurts,” I manage to say. “Please stop!”
Kyle freezes on top of me, his eyes so wide, they look like they’re about to pop out of his head.
“What’s happening, Zara?”
I open my mouth in a silent scream as tears are now flowing freely down my face.
“It hurts,” I repeat.
Just then, the momentum, or maybe me moving around, causes for Kyle’s hips to move forward. Piercing pain like I never imagined courses through my entire body. There is not one spot that is not numb from the pain, brain included.
“Jesus fuckin’ Christ!” Kyle’s eyes look wild. “What the fuck is happening?”
A sob escapes my throat no matter how hard I try to stop it. This is not what I was expecting. It is so. Much. Worse.
“It hurts.”