Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
Zara
I’ve never been called plain to my face. Not that I ever had any illusions of being beautiful. But to hear the words said so matter-of-factly… it hurt.
The world that Kyle and his friends live in is not real, not for me at least. They all seem to have money while pretending like they’re average. There’s nothing average about them, and it’s more obvious the more time I spend with them.
On the positive side, Kyle was right. The girls of the group are awesome, and I like them all. There’s Evie, who owns a flower shop. She is very nice and funny, maybe a little ditzy, but totally in love with her man, Cal.
Evie’s best friend is Carrie, whose boyfriend is friends with all the guys as well.
Part of the group is the groom, Ray, who brought into the fold the bride, Hayden. They all seem to love her, and everyone gets along great.
Hayden became good friends with Ray’s father’s fiancée, Shannen. She and Bryan, Ray’s father, are visiting from Florida, and she has all sorts of funny stories from there.
Everyone is laughing and having a good time. With every moment that passes, it becomes more obvious that I am the outsider. And I don’t necessarily think it’s them, because they are making a real effort to get to know me, pull me into their conversations, laugh with me.
In the end though, I am just being me. Apparently, I have no personality, and I am not capable of having meaningful relationships in my life, other than with my mom and my brother, of course.
But even they seem to want to have their own lives where they don’t constantly have to worry about me and my wellbeing.
“Kyle let you out of his sight?”
I jump when I hear the voice, recognizing it to be Alex’s. For someone claiming to be Kyle’s best friend, he sure acted weird toward him all night long.
“Kyle went to grab me a water,” I explain.
Alex walks over and leans against the banister of the balcony I am on. It overlooks a beautiful pond where swans swim freely in the water. The lawn around it is perfectly cut, and I smile when I hear a couple of kids playing out there.
“You don’t seem to enjoy Kyle’s friends’ company very much,” Alex comments in a casual tone.
My eyebrows raise in surprise. I wonder how obvious I made it look that I was overwhelmed by the amount of attention I received today.
“Kyle has wonderful friends,” I tell Alex.
He snorts. “And you made that decision based on what?”
“Since I only met everyone today, my decision is based on my interactions with them today.” I sound annoyed, and for good reason. I don’t like this guy at all.
“Right, right.” He takes a sip out of the glass he’s holding. It looks something like whiskey, and I wouldn’t even be surprised to find he was drunk.
I turn my back to him and continue looking over the pond, hoping that he’ll get the hint and just go away. I have no idea why he is so fixated on me, but he’s been throwing snide remarks my way all night long.
“I told him he used too much color on those drawings,” he continues, completely refusing to take the hint. “But now I understand why he did it.”
I know I shouldn’t ask, but curiosity gets the bets of me.
“Why’s that?”
He hums with enjoyment, as if he knows me.
“Because he needed to make your face more interesting than it is in real life. You’re too…”
“Plain?” I turn my head to look at him. “So you said already.”
“I’m sure you have a wonderful personality.” His tone implies otherwise. “But gamers buy their games based on looks. Once they played the game a time or twenty, they start caring on whether you’re nice on the inside.”
I turn all the way around and lean back against the concrete banister. Crossing my arms over my chest, I look him up and down.
“So, what you’re saying is that you think I’m too ugly to sell your video games.”
“No, no, no, you misunderstood.” He takes another long sip of his whiskey. “It’s not me thinking that. We put test these things out with focus groups, and…”
“And I’m too ugly to live in virtual reality?”
Alex busts out laughing. It seems to be a genuine laugh, which is surprising, but I can’t trust it.
“You really are funny.” He points at me with the finger of the hand holding the glass. “I can see why Kyle is all over you. Between the sense of humor and you being a virgin and all, he felt like he hit the jackpot. That’s only because the women he normally sleeps with are loose as fuck…”
He continues talking with no care in the world while my world is crashing all around me. Kyle told his friends about me being a virgin. I don’t even know how to respond to that. It is humiliating beyond belief, and I am grateful that I will never have to see these people again past tonight.
This whole idea with the Holidates app has been a disaster from the beginning. I should’ve never signed up for it. And all for what? A dare from my brother? I should’ve just been an adult and confirm to him that I was truly incapable of finding a man who could have true feelings for me.
My pride didn’t let me do that, though. I wanted to prove to Owen, to my mother, and also to the world at large, that I was an adult who did adult things. That just because I loved alone and didn’t have much of a social life, it was by choice, and not because I didn’t have anyone to do it with.
I don’t even see the point in having a partner.
After all, look at all the things I’ve done since meeting Kyle.
They are bad things that I would’ve never considered before.
Like for example, calling in sick, lying to my boss in exchange for a few days off.
Then, there was the fact of me canceling lunch with my brother.
That weekly lunch has been my constant for a few years now. Owen always kept his word by me, and the only times we didn’t meet was when he was out on a call. But I blew him off so I could have more time with Kyle.
Kyle… The man I thought I was falling in love with, who had no problem sharing with everyone about my personal business, like the fact that I was a virgin.
There is no way I can go back in and look these people in the eyes know that they all know. Our interactions were awkward before, but I won’t be able to carry a conversation at all now that I know they know.
Oblivious to all the emotions that I’m going through, Alex is on a roll, explaining to me all the ways that I am not good enough for Kyle.
I turn my back to him again, then dig into my small purse until I find my cell phone.
I pull up the browser and do a quick search of a car service.
While I am familiar with the names, I’ve never used a car service before, and the signup process looks cumbersome.
With Alex’s voice still as a continuous background noise as he tells me all the ways that I’m not a good fit for his friend, I decide to ask my brother for help.
“Hey, sis!” He answers at the first ring, sounding happy to hear my voice. “How’s the fancy wedding?”
“It’s okay.” My voice is shaky, and I have to force myself not to cry. “But, Owen, I need… Uh…”
I am very emotional at the moment. All I want is to turn around and punch Alex in the face because he just won’t just up.
“Zara?” Owens sounds concerned. “Are you okay?”
“I-“
Just then, my newly found arch nemesis steps next to me.
“I can’t believe you’re calling another man while you’re here with my friend.” Alex lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Who would’ve thought that Jane the Virgin over here would be juggling two men at the same time?” He slaps a hand against his leg. “This is fucking awesome!”
“Zara, what the fuck is going on?” Owen raises his voice. “Who was that? Aren’t you there with Kyle?”
The back of my throat hurts from the effort I’m making not to lose it over here.
“Owen, can you come pick it up?”
There’s a bit of shuffling on his end, and I swear he just walked out of his house, the door slamming hard in his wake.
“I just located your cell location,” he tells me as he I hear starting his truck. “It says fifty-two minutes to get there. Are you going to be alright until then?”
I dab at my eyes, hoping that the mascara is not smeared underneath. All I need right now is to look like a raccoon for the next hour it takes Owen to get here. A plain raccoon, at that.
“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I assure him. “Text me when you’re close so I can come outside.”
We hang up, and I drop the phone back in my bag.
“So now that Kyle took care of the virginity part, you’re gonna show this Owen character everything that you learned?”
I suddenly had enough. I can’t listen to this nonsense anymore.
“You!” I shove a finger under Alex’s chin before poking him in the chest with it. “You are the most obnoxious human being that I have ever met in my life.”
“Is that so?” He smirks, unaffected by my words.
My entire body starts shaking with the rage that I feel right now.
I have tunnel vision, and all I see is the condescending way in which Alex looks at me.
I have no control over my body when I pull my right arm back.
Without giving myself time to think, I lunge forward and clock him right in the nose.
I watch with satisfaction as blood sprays over the white of the dress shirt he’s wearing under the tuxedo.
“What the fuck!” Alex touches his nose, wincing when he brings the hand down with blood on it. “Did you just break my nose?”
“I sure fucking hope so.”
I never used foul language in my life, but this feels like a good time to start. Pacing back and forth, I try to calm back down, angry with myself that allowed him to het to me in such a way.
“Hey, sorry it took so long!” Kyle shows up in the doorway, a bottle of water in one hand and a beer in the other. “I got sidetracked at the bar. They were doing shots,” he snickers.
I look away, not wanting to talk to him or his friends, or anyone else.
“Dude, what the fuck happened to you?” I’m guessing he just noticed his best friend’s bloody nose.
“Your girl has a mean right hook,” Alex laughs. That aggravates me even more. The things he said to me were not remotely nice, and now he acts like we just had a friendly argument.
“Zara broke your nose?” Kyle is laughing so hard, he can barely stand. “This is fucking cool.”
My eyes fill with tears at hearing that. It sounds like he has a good buzz going, and he definitely meant the words as a compliment. But instead of asking what Alex could’ve have said that required such a strong response from me, he decides to focus on how amusing it all is.
“I didn’t expect it, that’s for sure.” Alex laughs along with Kyle. “Maybe you need to add something like that to the game. Make her interesting.”
The amusement fades a little on Kyle’s part. The words are slowing penetrating through the layers of alcohol.
“Who said she’s not interesting?”
“Dude,” Alex huffs. “Her being a virgin was probably the only interesting about the girl…”
He doesn’t get to finish what he was about to say. Kyle drops both bottles from his hands and lunges at Alex. With the element of surprise by his side, he manages to knock him to the ground, getting a few punches in before Alex has time to react.
More people come out on the balcony where we’re located.
“Fight, fight, fight,” they chant.
Others, are not as amused, and I see Cal and James jumping in to break their two friends apart.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Alex bellows at Kyle.
Kyle, looking all disheveled and with crazy eyes, just points at him.
“You apologize to Zara right now, or you are not my friend anymore,” he growls.
“Are you fucking serious?” Alex is amused at best. “You’re dropping me over a girl who you barely know and who you had to teach sex?”
There are a few gasps of shock coming from behind me, and this is it. I can’t take it anymore. I want out, and I don’t want to see anyone ever again. I walk briskly around the crowd gathered around us, praying they won’t notice me.
“Zara! Wait,” Kyle calls after me.
That’s what I feared, but I don’t stop walking.
“Babe, wait!” He catches up to me and grabs me by the arm, spinning me around. “Where are you going?”
His hair is disheveled from the fight with Alex; all the hair product he put in earlier is making it stick up now.
“I’m going home,” I tell him. “Owen is on his way here to pick me up.”
“What? Why?” His eyes widen in shock. “I know Alex said some things, but he’s an idiot. He does this all the time, to everyone. I promise!”
I take deep breath in and look around, unsure of how to proceed.
“Kyle, it was obvious from the start that we are not a good fit for each other. We’re too different,” I explain when I notice him getting ready to say something.
“I am plain.” My voice shakes. “You are loud and obnoxious, but in a funny way.” I give him a shaky smile.
“I am private. I hate everyone knowing my business. And you…”
My voice finally breaks to the point where I can’t speak. Tears run down my face, and I don’t care about the makeup anymore.
“I can’t believe you told everyone that I had never had sex before you.”
Kyle winces at the reminder. “I didn’t tell everyone, I swear. I told one person, and…” He sighs and runs his hands through his hair. “I was worried, not sure if I was doing the right thing by you, and…”
“It doesn’t matter, Kyle…”
“It does matter,” he argues. “I didn’t do anything to purposely hurt you. I don’t want to lose you. Why would I be that stupid?”
The phone in my purse buzzes with a text. When I pull it out, I see it’s Owen.
“My brother is here,” I explain to Kyle. “It’s better of you don’t walk me out.”
I’m fairly certain that Owen would beat Kyle into a pulp if he saw him right now give the fright I must look.
“I don’t want you leave, Zara. Please don’t go,” he begs.
Unable to resist, I step into him and place a soft kiss on his cheek. I smooth his hair back but only make it look worse than before.
“It’s best if we don’t talk for a while,” I whisper.
“Zara…”
“Just… don’t call.”
I turn around and rush out of the building, finally feeling like I can breathe normal once I’m out.
My heart is heavy, though.
So heavy.