CHAPTER 18 BOWER
BOWER
Bower: Are you sure you still want to go to the party tonight?
Bennett: Yes.
Bower: Because you can back out if you want.
Bennett: I said I’d go.
Bower: Okay, well, it’s on a rooftop and it’s businesswear, so suit coat and button-up. Do you have that?
Bennett: Did you really ask that question?
Bower: Right, dumb question. Okay, I’ll be at your place around six. That work?
Bennett: See you then.
I set my phone down and scan the notes I took while Adalade dictated about everything she’ll need for a gala she’s attending in a few days. I glance down at my bags, counting them and checking off my list, the hostess gift being the most important errand I ran today.
I had to pick up some sort of silver platter that I was told would be perfect. Looks like a useless piece of serveware, but what do I know?
I said bye to Gabby yesterday. She was suffering just as much as me after our night of drinking, but she also had a huge smile on her face and I knew exactly why. Of course, that made me jealous all over again.
Either way, it was good to see her and Ryland and remind myself that I’m looking for something like they have.
This is why I’m attempting another date with Cougar.
I check my phone for the time, just as my phone buzzes with another text from Bennett.
My stomach flips for a moment as his name reminds me of how we cuddled the other night.
Sure, I was drunk.
Sure, I probably should have gone to my apartment.
But there was so much comfort in having him there, and well, we’re friends. Friends cuddle, right?
Close friends, at least, and that’s what we are. We’re very close.
Bennett: Did you see Gretchen’s email?
Bower: No, am I going to be upset?
I’m about to go check, but he calls instead. Damn Brinkmans always call.
“What did I tell you about calling?” I answer playfully.
“And what did I say about hearing your voice?”
“When you put it like that…what’s up?”
“She named the book club and started social media for us, as well as posted a graphic.”
I startle to attention. “Wait, seriously? What’s the name? Is it lame? Is it Kim Halpert’s Book Club?”
“It’s Books with Bombers,” he says flatly.
“Ugh, I hate that. That makes it seem like it’s your whole team. Is it your whole team?”
“As far as I know, it’s just me.”
“Why would she do that?”
“According to the email, we were taking too long on a name and she took matters into her own hands. She also announced what book we’re reading.”
“She did not!” I gasp. “How dare she. This was our thing, not hers. What book did she pick?”
“The baseball romance I already read.”
I bring my hand to my chest. “Well, thank God for that. Still, I think I might type her back and scold her for such brazen behavior.”
“Good luck. She’s fucking brutal, so I don’t think she will give a damn.”
“Yeah, and I don’t think I have it in me to actually scold.”
He chuckles, the sound so deep and rumbly. “All bark, no bite?”
“Precisely,” I answer just as Cougar walks into the restaurant wearing his workout gear and a backward hat. Although, his hat makes him look like he has a bit of a pickle head. He can’t rock it like Bennett.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he says as he leans in and presses a kiss to my cheek.
“Sweetheart?” Bennett asks. “Who is that?”
“Oh, meeting Cougar for a quick lunch.”
“You are?”
“Yup, so I should go. I’ll check the email and we can discuss later.”
“Okay, yeah.”
“Bye, Benny Boo Boo,” I coo into the phone as he says bye. I hang up and set my phone down, bringing my attention to Cougar, who has commandeered the chair across from me, slouching his large body and manspreading for the entire restaurant. “You’re two minutes late.”
He smirks. “Couldn’t find parking. Were you pining to see me?”
Actually…no.
But then again, we’re trying here, so I say, “Of course.”
His smile lights up his face just as the waitress takes our order, something Cougar already prepared for when he knew we were coming here.
When she takes off, Cougar studies me for a moment before he says, “Think you’ll come to a game this season?”
That feels like it came out of nowhere.
“Do you want me to come to a game?” I ask.
“Of course, I’d want my girl there.”
“Your girl?” I ask with a raise of my brow. “How many girls are you calling your girl?”
He looks to the side. “Honestly?”
“Yeah, honestly.”
“Only you,” he answers, and for some reason, I don’t believe him.
“How could you say that? We’ve only been on a few dates.
We’re not committed to each other. You’re seeing other people, so how can I be your girl?
” I say it in a teasing way, but I actually mean it, because he can’t assume that when there hasn’t been one part of our relationship where we’ve committed to each other.
“But you’re not like the other girls I see,” he says.
“I know! You already told me that. But how do you mean?”
“You’re grounded,” he says, his expression turning serious. “You don’t play into my bullshit and haven’t attempted to take my pants off.”
I chuckle. “Imagine the gasps we’d hear if I did try to take your pants off right here in the restaurant. There would be pearl-clutching all over the place.”
“Yeah.” He picks up his fork and starts flipping it through his fingers. “You’re girlfriend material, Bower.”
And the way he says that, with the tilt of his head and the sincerity in his voice, it should get me excited. It should tell me that I’m headed in the direction I want to go, where Gabby and Ryland are, but…I just…I’m not convinced.
“I think that’s the first time someone has called me that,” I say.
“Maybe you’ve been going out with the wrong people.”
Seems like I might still be making poor choices, but then again, I’m not being fair. He has good qualities. Our last date, we made progress. I felt like I got to know him a little better. I just feel like…like there’s something holding me back and I can’t quite pinpoint what that is.
Clearing my throat, I say, “Uh, your first game is Sunday?”
He nods. “I can get you tickets if you want.”
“Yeah, I think I’m visiting a friend,” I lie, because the thought of going to a game to cheer on a guy I barely know, it just doesn’t sit well.
It’s not like going to Bennett’s game. The other night was so much fun.
And not just because I was with Gabby and Ryland, but I actually liked watching him play. I liked cheering him on.
I can’t imagine doing that with Cougar.
“You think?” he asks, his brows shooting up.
“I mean, I’m waiting to hear back from her, but it’s pretty set in stone.”
“Ah.” He nods as the waitress drops off waters for us. “Is that real, or are you avoiding me?”
“Would you be offended if I was avoiding you?”
“Maybe a little,” he says, but he tacks on a smile.
“Then no, I’m not avoiding you.”
He chuckles. “How come I don’t believe that?”
“Trust issues?” I playfully ask before taking a sip of my drink.
“Funny.” He nods at me. “What do I have to do to get you to a game?”
“Why do you want me at a game so bad?” I ask, wondering why this is important to him.
“So I can show off to you.” Ah, there it is. It’s not about me. It’s all about him.
“I’m unimpressed by sports.”
Although, I was pretty impressed by Bennett’s home run. That was incredible. The ball seemed like it sailed forever.
“Really? Not even a little bit in awe over what I can do with a football?”
I shrug. “Not to sound like a dick, but not really. I’d be more impressed to see what you do with the popularity you’ve gained through playing your sport. What are you doing to give back?”
He slowly nods but doesn’t say anything.
“Sooo…are you going to answer the question?”
“What question?”
“What are you doing to give back?”
“Oh.” He scrubs his hand over the side of his cheek. “I do sick kid hospital visits.”
Sick kid hospital visits. Wow, what a way to put it.
“Do you have any charities you help? Anything that speaks to you? For instance, Bennett works with a lot of foster care charities.”
“He does? You don’t ever hear about it. There are clips of me talking to kids in hospital beds.”
I try not to flare my nostrils, because that’s a dense comment. Kids in hospital beds? Those kids are ill and going through such a tough time. For him to just throw it out like that is insensitive.
“You don’t have to record yourself doing good to prove that you’re a good person. You know it in your heart that you’re doing the right thing and helping, and that’s what should matter.”
“I can see that.”
“So then, if you were to put your name behind a charity, what would it be?”
His lips purse as he thinks about it. “What would yours be? Help me out.”
Seeing that he’s actually genuine about it, I say, “Well, I really have started to love to read, so maybe I’d focus on that, bringing the love of reading to kids, helping out those who don’t have access to books or might not know how to read.”
He slowly nods. “That’s actually a pretty cool idea.”
I smile softly from the compliment. I mean, he has his moments where I can see a glimmer of hope for there to be something between us, and maybe that’s why I keep holding on.
“So, what would you do?”
“I like animals.” He shrugs. “Maybe something with them.”
“There you go.” I gesture toward him. “Maybe you should have been the one doing the zoo stuff and not Graydon.”
He chuckles. “You are so right about that. Maybe I can trade positions.”
“Would you?” I ask, curious.
“I would, but I don’t see him giving up time with the flamingo girl. Plus, it would be cool to have my own thing.”
“Are you really thinking about it?” I ask.
“Yeah, I probably should.” He shifts in his seat. “My mom would have liked me to do something like that.”
“Would have?” I ask. “Sorry if this is insensitive, but has she passed?”
“Yeah, a few years ago. Suffered from a blood clot bursting in her cranium. We tried to save her, but it was too late.”
“Cougar.” I reach across the table. “I’m so sorry.”
“Thanks, but she was big into animals. It’s where I got my love for them, and well, she’d probably like to see me doing something in that realm.”
“I think that would be so beautiful.”
“She really liked the Sheldrick Wildlife Trust.”