6. Ella
6
ella
I exhaled heavily, wearily blinking away the images that came unbidden every time I closed my eyes for more than a few seconds. Sleep remained elusive, chased away by lingering anxiety and a sense of impending doom.
I lay in the quiet stillness of my room, hearing nothing, seeing very little. No light seeped around the edges of the curtains, which suggested dawn had yet to break. Had ever a night been so long?
The night of my eighteenth birthday party came to mind. That was when my father had formally announced that I was to marry Giorgio. I’d spent so many sleepless nights afterward, looking for a way out, until I realized my only option was to effectively end one life and begin another.
Hands down, the longest night of my life was when I’d jumped overboard and endured icy, choppy water during a raging storm for hours on end.
I no longer worried about arranged marriages, agonized over leaving my family and the only life I had ever known, or drowning in an attempt to escape my destiny. After a couple of years, I’d even managed to get a handle on the suffocating anxiety. Now it was more like a heightened sense of awareness.
The events of the previous night had brought everything back to the surface, however. The sense of helplessness. The fear of being recognized. The certainty that I was one heartbeat away from being exposed for who I had been and what I had done.
A careless yawn sent me into another coughing fit. I’d been plagued with them throughout the night. My throat and lungs hurt with each breath, thanks to the smoke that had permeated the building at one point. That was to be expected, I supposed. No, I hadn’t mentioned it last night. It would work itself out. The last thing I needed was more attention cast my way.
I turned onto my side and looked at my phone. Thirty whole minutes had passed since the last time I’d checked.
Abandoning sleep, I swung my legs over the side of the twin-size bed. If I couldn’t rest, I might as well make myself useful.
After taking a moment to acclimate to the semi-vertical, I shuffled to the small bathroom and took a quick cold shower in the dark. Not because I liked starting my day with a nice blue tint to my skin, but because the electricity to the old section had been shut off until they could repair the damage. It didn’t do much to improve my mood, but it did revive me somewhat.
Lingering scents of burned plastic and charred wood still hung in the air as I made my way toward the renovated section. The old wing bore the brunt of the minor damage—a couple of blackened walls, warped ceiling tiles, some fried wiring that definitely needed replacing. On the plus side, apart from my minor smoke inhalation, no one had been hurt, and the animals were safe. Still, the shelter didn’t need the extra expenses. I could be creative when it came to shifting funds to keep the place afloat, but I wasn’t a magician.
I walked slowly down the hallway, keeping my steps light and quiet as I tried to shake off a sense of unease. The fire had just been an unfortunate accident—Cap, the fire captain, had said as much.
But a tiny voice in the back of my mind kept whispering, What if it wasn’t just an accident?
Had my past somehow caught up to me? Could someone have tampered with the old breaker box, trying to send me a message? Was I putting others at risk simply by being here?
Stop being so paranoid. Not everything is about you, I countered, invoking the power of positive thinking and all that.
The old wing was just that—old—and in need of upgrades. There was nothing nefarious about it. Plans to renovate had begun long before I arrived.
Still, I couldn’t completely discount the possibility.
A muted bark cut through my thoughts, reminding me of my purpose. I set a course for the private recovery room. Daisy was awake, gingerly shifting on the nest of blankets we’d laid out the night before. Her head lifted, and her tail wagged in greeting when she saw me.
“Hey, sweet girl. Feeling better?” I murmured, crouching beside her and stroking her fur. That simple contact grounded me, as did Daisy’s cold nose and the fact that she was genuinely happy to see me.
I carefully checked the bandages around her hind leg, relieved to see no fresh bleeding. I was hardly a professional veterinarian, but Ben had shown me how to spot warning signs—discoloration, seepage, swelling. She looked stable enough for now.
Daisy gave a soft huff and licked my hand, her big brown eyes full of trust.
“I won’t let you down,” I told her softly. No matter what. Even if that meant ignoring the part of me that wanted to flee Cecilton every time that sense of foreboding settled heavily over my shoulders.
On the very slim chance that last night’s fire hadn’t been accidental, I’d ramp up my vigilance, but I wasn’t ready to disappear just yet. Not when this place and these animals needed me. Less importantly, I liked what I was doing here. For the first time in a long time, I felt like I could make a difference.
I turned at the sound of footsteps behind me. Ben appeared in the doorway, hair tousled, a cardboard carry tray with two full-sized coffees and a box of doughnuts in hand. With dark circles under his eyes, he looked as tired as I felt.
“Figured you could use these.”
“You’re not wrong,” I said. I hadn’t even started the coffee in the break room yet. “And you’re here early.”
He pinned me with knowing eyes. “At least I left. Did you get any sleep?”
I shrugged. “I’m fine.” I avoided lying when possible, which was kind of ironic, given that I was pretending to be someone I wasn’t.
He snorted at that, but said nothing. We had a mutually beneficial understanding, he and I. He let me stay rent-free in the old wing, and in exchange, I watched over the animals at night. Ben wasn’t crazy about the idea. He was a good soul and a gentleman at heart. But he was also smart enough to know having me here was cheaper than paying someone else to do it. Given the way our budget was stretched to the point of transparency, every little bit helped.
I relieved him of one of the coffees and lifted it to my lips, barely suppressing a moan. It was hot and tasted heavenly.
“Why are your fingers blue?” he asked, eyeing the way they were wrapped around the cup.
“Cold water. No electricity in the old wing until they bring it up to code.”
He cursed softly. “Listen, Ella, we have to talk about what happened last night.”
“No, we don’t,” I protested.
“You could have been hurt.”
“As I’ve already said, I’m fine. The dogs are fine. Imagine what could have happened if I hadn’t been here.”
His lips thinned. He knew he couldn’t argue with that. “Things are going to get better.”
“I know they will.”
He nodded, crouching beside Daisy. His gentle hands checked her sutures with practiced efficiency. “She’s doing well. Have you checked on the others?”
“Not yet. I wanted to check on Daisy first.”
He reached into his pocket, extracted a set of keys, and held it out to me. “Here, take these. I’ll handle the others.”
“What are these for?”
“My car and my house.”
I shook my head. “Ben, I can’t?—”
“Yes, you can,” he said firmly, putting up a hand. “No arguments. You’ll have the place to yourself. Take a hot shower and get a few hours of sleep. Doctor’s orders.”
My lips quirked. “You’re a vet, not a people doctor.”
“Close enough.” His eyes softened. “Please, Ella. You look like crap.”
“Gee, thanks.” I took the keys.
I must have looked pretty bad for Ben to say something. He was quite possibly the kindest, most non-offensive man I’d ever met.
“Besides, I expect more reporters and investigators will be by as soon as the sun comes up.”
I heard what he hadn’t said—namely that they’d probably want to take more pictures, perform a daytime assessment, possibly interview me. The thought made me shudder.
“All right, you convinced me.”
I returned to the shelter hours later, after Ben called to tell me that the investigators and reporters had come and gone. I did a drive-by first anyway, scanning the area for cars and people I didn’t recognize and finding none.
I’d just parked Ben’s car and was walking to the employee entrance on the side when I caught a flash of movement in my peripheral vision. For a split second, I thought I saw a tall figure moving near the fence, only to disappear just as quickly.
Instinct had me stepping back into the shadows. When several minutes went by and nothing happened, I took a deep, calming breath. It was probably just a curious local who’d heard the sirens and come to check things out for themselves. Clearly, a couple of hours of sleep hadn’t diminished my paranoia.
Shaking off the niggling unease, I headed right to my office. Better to channel my nervous energy into the mountain of paperwork waiting on my desk than continue to gaslight myself.
It worked. In a matter of minutes, I was totally immersed.
A brief knock on the doorjamb preceded a chipper, “Hi, Ella. Do you have a minute?”
Startled, I looked up to find two women poised in the doorway. I recognized one of them as the photographer who had done the photo shoot for the charity calendar. Lucia, I thought her name was. The other one I hadn’t seen before.
I was cornered, it seemed. I pasted on a polite smile. “Sure.”
The women stepped in. That was when a third figure appeared behind them.
Dom.
He offered a small, uncertain smile, as if he wasn’t sure how his presence would be received. “Hi, Ella. How are you?”
Unlike the first two times our paths had crossed, he wasn’t wearing his turnout gear, and unsurprisingly, he looked just as delicious. Against my permission, my pulse skittered, and my heart skipped a beat as I remembered how he’d looked after me during the fire. As if he truly cared about my well-being.
I told myself it was just my overactive imagination, which seemed to be running rampant these days.
Remaining behind the safety of my desk, I schooled my features as he stepped in and stood beside the younger of the two women. As they stood side by side, the similarities between them were apparent. Same glossy black hair. Same dark, sparkling eyes. I pegged them as brother and sister. A dull ache squeezed my chest. I looked like a feminine version of my brothers too.
“I’m fine,” I answered evenly. “What can I do for you?”
The young woman next to Dom smiled at me. It looked genuine enough, but there was no masking the gleam of interest in her eyes. I resisted the urge to look down and see if I’d spilled coffee on myself.
“Ella, right? I’m Gina, Dom’s sister. I’m helping Lucia with a digital version of the charity calendar.”
“Nice to meet you,” I said out of courtesy.
Gina’s eyes glittered. “Dom told us about the fire, and we have some ideas for the shelter’s website that we’d like to pass by you. All pro bono, of course.”
Lucia nodded enthusiastically, and I focused on her lips forming words. “You’re doing such an amazing thing here, and you need to get the word out, now more so than ever. Donations, volunteer hours, maybe even sponsorships. We can help with that.”
My instincts flared, suggesting there was more to it than that. “That’s very kind of you,” I said cautiously. “What do you have in mind?”
Gina clapped her hands together and forged ahead. “So, we’ve been brainstorming. I’m great with websites and social media—photos, videos, that sort of thing. Lucia’s amazing at roping in donors and pitching big ideas. We figure if we can do a behind-the-scenes look at the shelter, we’ll tug heartstrings and hopefully open some wallets.”
And there was the catch.
My stomach lurched. “Behind the scenes?”
Lucia nodded. “Yes! Capturing daily routines, staff bios, hearing the animals’ stories from the ones who care for them. People love to see the faces behind a mission.” She paused, and I braced myself for what she was about to say next. “Actually, we were hoping to highlight you specifically, Ella. I mean, after what you did?—”
“The firefighters are the real heroes,” I corrected, cutting her off. “All I did was make a phone call.” And nearly got electrocuted, trying to flip that breaker, but I wasn’t about to mention that.
Gina opened her mouth to protest, but Dom cleared his throat.
“Maybe we can focus on the animals to start,” he suggested, his gaze flicking to me. “One step at a time.”
Relief coursed through me. “Yes, exactly. One step at a time.”
Lucia shrugged. “Sure. We can do that. But I still think staff interviews would be a huge draw. The calendar is generating buzz. Preorders are already surpassing last year’s numbers. If we tie it to a bigger story—like someone risking their life to save dogs from a burning building, for example—we have the potential to go viral.”
Panic speared through me. “It was nothing like that,” I told them honestly.
The idea of anything involving me going viral made me lightheaded. I gripped the edge of my desk to keep steady. What if someone saw it and recognized me? Granted, with my shorter hair and lack of makeup, I looked different than I had seven years ago, but not that different. Short of reconstructive plastic surgery, staying under the radar was my best chance of remaining “dead.”
“Really, if you do want to feature someone, it should be Ben,” I suggested. “He’s completely selfless. No one cares more for the animals, and he puts his heart and soul into this place every day.”
“Oh, don’t worry; we will,” Gina assured me. “For now, maybe we could do a quick walk-through? Take some phone snaps, get a feel for lighting?”
I glanced at Dom again, who offered a supportive nod. “Uh, sure, as long as it’s okay with Ben.”
Lucia smiled. “He already gave the go-ahead, but he’s tied up with his patients, so he told us to come talk to you. He said you know more about this place than anyone.”
Well, I guess that settled that. I looked longingly at the stack of invoices. “Okay then. I can show you around, if you want.”
“Great, thanks. We really appreciate this, Ella,” Gina said.
I nodded and smiled, calling upon skills I’d learned at an early age to hide my true emotions. The sooner I got this done, the sooner I could get back to my quiet, private office and my spreadsheets.
As I led them out into the corridor, it was Dom I was most aware of. Part of me—a part I didn’t want to examine too closely—was relieved he was there. Another part was annoyed that I felt that way. How was it possible to be both comforted and agitated by his presence?
He tapped me lightly on the shoulder as we approached the private recovery room, and I wondered if he’d said something I’d missed.
“How’s Daisy?”
“Good. Would you like to see her?”
Dom nodded, and I opened the door to private recovery. Daisy lifted her head, offering a doggy grin the moment she spotted Dom.
“I think she recognizes you,” I said.
“Is it okay to pet her?”
“I think she’d like that.”
“Hi,” Dom said softly, crouching down to scratch lightly behind the Lab’s ears. “You’re looking better today, aren’t you?”
My heart melted a little. He might’ve been a playboy, but he was a playboy who genuinely cared about animals. That was something.
I stepped back into the corner while Lucia discreetly snapped a couple of photos, and I caught a few of her words as she spoke. In general, women’s voices were easier for me to hear because they were higher-pitched, so I didn’t have to lip-read quite as much.
“Is she the one who got hit by a car before the fire?”
“Yes,” I answered. “She’s had a rough go of it, but she’s going to be okay. She’s a great dog. Her forever family is going to be lucky to get her.”
“Forever family?” Gina asked.
“Whoever adopts her and gives her a home.”
“I like that.”
“It’s what we hope for every animal who comes here.”
“What about Oreo? Is he still here?” Dom asked, looking my way.
I thought about the way Dom had held on to that puppy during the shoot and felt warmth flow through my veins. “He is. I bet he’d love to see you.”
Lucia’s eyes lit up. “Wait, let me get in place first. I want to capture the reunion.”
“I’ll go with you,” Gina said.
I stepped back, letting Gina and Lucia slip out the door first. Dom said good-bye to Daisy and stood. I couldn’t help but appreciate the strength and grace of his movements. As he moved closer, I caught a whiff of that amazing cedar-sandalwood scent. Soap? Shampoo? Aftershave? It made me want to lean in closer. I actually started to, then caught myself.
Of course he noticed. “You sure you’re okay?”
His dark eyes, intense and assessing, met mine, and for an eternity—or maybe just a few seconds—I felt like I was falling into them.
I forced a small smile. “Yes, I’m fine.”
He hesitated, then nodded. I wasn’t sure he believed me, but ultimately, it didn’t matter. I certainly wasn’t going to tell him that I had a strange compulsion to put my nose in his neck and sniff him.
Thankfully, Gina appeared in the door and told Dom they were ready for him.
I walked out into the hall with them, but that was as far as I went. “It was nice meeting you,” I said to Gina and Lucia.
“You’re not coming?” Dom asked, his mouth twisted downward.
“The girls up front will be able to help you with whatever you need.”
Dom’s gaze flickered with understanding, but also curiosity. “All right,” he said softly. “See you later?”
“I’ll be around.” I turned and walked away, half of me hoping our paths would cross again and the other half praying they wouldn’t because something deep down told me that continuing to resist Dominic Cerasino wasn’t going to be easy.