Chapter 7
FRIDAY
I ’m up and out of bed before the sun comes up, and I send a text to June asking if we can meet up. I shower and get myself dressed as quietly as possible. Micah is still out cold on the couch, and I manage to grab the key to the studio and sneak out the door before he stirs.
I need time to think.
My phone vibrates in my pocket as I’m heading down the stairs. It’s June. She has time to grab a quick coffee, and thank God, because I’m nearly going out of my mind.
We meet up at a sweet little cafe in her neighborhood, and I almost don’t recognize her. She’s got this luscious hot pink mane, all pushed off to one side, and long, glittering silver lashes.
June’s always doing fun things with her hair and makeup, so I should have expected something wild. She looks incredible, and it’s only ten a.m.
“June!” I run to give her a big hug.
“Kacie! I’ve missed you,” she says, squeezing me tight. “It’s so good to have you back in town, girl, even just for a few days. You’re still coming to the show tonight, right?”
“Absolutely.”
“OK, good. It’s gonna be amazing. If you come early we can hang out while I’m getting set up.”
“I can’t wait!” I say as the hostess seats us at a little table close to the kitchen. “You look adorable, by the way.”
She laughs. “I feel adorable!” Her eyes are dancing with a secret.
“Hold on—what’s that sparkle in your eye?” I sit back, studying her for a moment, but she’s just beaming. “Is there a man in your life?”
“Not exactly.” She flutters her eyelashes in fun.
“Oh my gosh, spill the beans!” I demand, but she’s shaking her head.
“No, it’s nothing. Seriously.”
I catch a flash of excitement in her eyes again.
“Hmm. Something’s up,” I say, and she actually blushes.
“Whoa. There is something going on.” I laugh. “Has some fantastical man finally managed to crack through that fortified wall of steel you call a heart?”
She laughs, making her eyes big. “No. Stop . There’s nothing going on, I promise.”
“OK, OK,” I say, laughing.
This isn’t like her. June’s keeping any aspect of her sex life a secret is unheard of.
“But seriously. Enough about me.” She leans forward in her chair. “What’s going on with you? In your text you said something happened?”
“Ohhh. It’s…it’s mortifying.”
“What did you do?”
I stare down at my hands, not sure whether saying it out loud will make it better or worse.
“Come on. God knows you’ve seen me through a million compromising situations. It can’t be worse than anything I’ve ever done. Besides, you’re a good girl. How bad could it be?”
“No, it’s bad.” I try to steady myself with a too-big swig of my too-hot coffee. Ouch.
“Seriously, just get it all out. Hit me.”
I sigh and lay it all out for her. “OK. I got a little drunk last night and fooled around with Micah.”
If I somehow thought getting that off my chest was going to help me put it in perspective, I was wrong. Hearing myself utter these words out loud only makes it feel that much more real, and it is truly horrifying.
“Wait, what? You and Micah? Holy shit, good for you, girl.” She laughs. “Jesus. You had me worried for a second.”
“No. It’s not good at all. It’s really, really bad. I mean, I basically threw myself at him, and then things got hot and heavy fast.”
She whistles. “Ooh, so steamy. Lucky girl.”
“But that’s just it. I’m not lucky, because—because he doesn’t really want me. I mean, Rebecca hasn’t even been gone for two full days, and if she hadn’t walked out on him, he’d still be sleeping with her.”
“Who, Rebecca? That’s a hard no. They weren’t sleeping together.”
“Wait. They weren’t? But—I saw them together at that last show. She ran up and kissed him right when we were going up onstage.”
“Well, I’ll buy that she planted one on him, but I highly doubt it was mutual. Micah’s never been interested in Rebecca. I don’t even think he likes her.”
“What?”
Is that true? I feel so relieved all of a sudden. I’d always assumed he was sleeping with her.
“Wow, well, thank God.” I sigh. “Err…I mean—I don’t know what I mean.
I don’t even know why it matters. It’s just, fo r a minute last night, I let myself get caught up in it.
Everything felt so right. I let myself believe there was something real happening between us.
But what was I thinking? That Micah’s going to fall in love with me and we’ll ride off into the sunset together?
That’s never gonna happen. He’s not that kind of guy. ”
“Well, you never know,” she teases.
My eyes are welling up with tears because it’s really hitting me now.
“I still have to help him finish this album, and I can’t even show my face in front of him because I’m so embarrassed.
I mean, how are we going to stay friends?
How are we going to be close like we’ve always been now that this happened? ”
June hits pause on all her fun and games because it’s obvious I’m truly upset.
“All right, sweetheart, look,” she says. “I’m going to give it to you straight.” And I’m so glad she will, because June always gives it to me straight, and it’s one of the things I love most about her.
“This thing that happened with you and Micah? It’s going to be OK, because here’s the deal.
The two of you just need to fuck and get it over with.
I mean, my God, girl. I’ve never seen so much sexual tension between two people in my entire life.
It’s a total mystery to me how you two even made it this far. ”
I’m so surprised I almost choke on my coffee. “No, it’s not like that at all.”
“Isn’t it? So tell me again—exactly how many men have you been with since you first met Micah?”
I wince because she knows it’s zero. “OK, fine. So maybe I have always had feelings for him, but what I’m trying to tell you is that the feeling isn’t mutual.
This is Micah we’re talking about. He’s got women all over him.
They’re everywhere, just orbiting him—hanging around after the shows and throwing themselves at him. ”
“Mm-hmm.” She nods. “Right. But are you gonna sit there and tell me that you’ve never noticed the way he looks at you?”
“What? Me?” I’m incredulous. What is she even talking about?
“I don’t know how you could be so blind, honestly. It’s written all over his face every time you so much as walk in the room. The man wants to jump your bones, girl. Everyone can see it.”
She pauses because my mouth is literally hanging open in disbelief. “OK, sweetheart. Make that everyone except for you.” She reaches her hand out to tuck one of my messy curls behind my ear.
“Oh my God…oh my God…what?”
June smiles sympathetically as I wrestle with the crazy thoughts she’s putting in my head.
“Hey, hun, I know that’s some heavy stuff to lay on you, and you’ve clearly got a lot going on right now, but I’ve gotta run. I’ve got two bartenders out sick, so I need to make sure I have everything covered.”
I nod. “Totally understand. Thanks, June. I really appreciate you making time to meet up with me this morning. You’re the best.”
“Hey, I love you, hun.” She gives me a squeeze. “Everything’s going to be OK. Everything’s going to be better than OK. You’ll see. Just don’t overthink it. I’ll see you at the show.”
I blow her a kiss as she heads off to work.
Don’t overthink it.
But my mind is reeling, and I don’t know what to believe anymore. I want to believe her. I want it to be true—this crazy notion that Micah’s been secretly pining for me this whole time.
If it is true, how could I have misread his feelings for so long?
All those times he’d teased me about how sexy I was onstage, or when he’d say there wasn’t a guy in the audience who wouldn’t be dreaming about me that night.
I always figured he was flattering me, trying to build up my confidence because he knows that’s something I struggle with.
But what if he actually meant all those things that he’d said. What if he really did have feelings for me this whole time and I was the one always brushing him off?
Except I’m letting myself get carried away again, because the truth is that even if he did have some sort of feelings for me, I would never be enough to keep a guy like him around. Never being good enough is the story of my life, and when he eventually left it would destroy me.
No, I need to show him that things really can go back to the way they were—strictly friends and totally aboveboard—and I have to convince him that it’s going to be OK. That it’s already OK, because we have a lot of work to do if we’re going to get this album finished in time.