Chapter 23
Leland
Istood up to him.
That thought has been running through my head for days since it happened. Not only did I stand up to him, I stood up for myself.
I had such a good day at therapy that day.
Still exhausting, but good. I wanted to do something nice for Zac and Vince so I stopped at one of our favorite cafes only to walk in and be faced with him.
My nerves were already frayed from my therapy session, and I just wanted to run like I did the first time.
I don’t know what stopped me, but I found myself in the bathroom desperately texting Vince.
I should have known they would show up without question but it was still in the back of my mind that I had trapped myself there.
I had full intentions of quietly leaving when they got there until I started repeating what I had said in therapy.
Then I knew what I needed to do when Zac and Vince got there.
They lent me the strength to finally say what that man did to me.
Afterward I came home, snuggled onto the couch with Zac and Vince and called Trina.
Then I called Oliver. It was scary as hell, but also cathartic.
The day I told him we were done and I quit track, I was shaking so bad that I almost threw up. Not today.
Now it’s time to meet with Trina again. She gives me a warm smile when I enter her office, and I feel my nerves settle like they always do. I sit cross-legged on the couch, grab a pillow to pull against my chest and lay my chin on it.
Trina takes a seat, crosses her legs and flips her notebook open. “So, you had a hard day recently.”
“Yes.” No matter how many times I’ve seen her and how much I spill it takes her a bit to warm me up. It’s something that I’m working on, but she never seems to let it bother her.
“Let’s talk about it.” Another thing that I love about her is she doesn’t let me hide from what I’m feeling.
“There isn’t much more to say. You know what happened.”
“I do know, but you have to have had more feelings since that day. Since you’ve had time to sit with it.”
I turn my head to look out the window. “He got fired, and they opened a case against him.”
“Has anyone reached out to you?”
I nod. “Yeah. They want to know what happened even though I can’t press charges anymore.”
“How do you feel about that?”
“I don’t know if I can look someone else in the eye and describe what that man did to me.” I turn back to look at her. “It was hard enough telling the guys and you.”
“I understand.”
“I’ll have some detective judging me the entire time because it took me this long to say anything.”
“They won’t judge you, Leland. Their job is to build a case, and they need all the information they can get.”
“They have enough from everyone else.”
“Your story could help another child come forward.” Trina writes something in the notebook and looks back at me. “At the end of the day, it’s still up to you, though.”
“I know.”
“How are you feeling about everything else?”
“I’m glad I finally got to say something. I didn’t mean for it to be so public, but I was just so…mad.”
“Understandable.”
“He tried to take something from me then. I mean, he took my innocence but he didn’t succeed in breaking me down. I needed him to know that.” I tuck my chin back onto the pillow. “My dad called yesterday.”
“Did you talk to him?” I shake my head. “Do you want to?”
“For him just to yell at me again for lying?” I scoff. “No, thanks.”
“Are you sure that’s what he wanted?”
“What else could he want? He’s never had my back before, and he definitely won’t now.”
“Because of the open accusations, or because you have boyfriends?” That’s another thing that surprised me about her. She never even batted an eye when she found out that I have two boyfriends. I still don’t feel any judgement from her.
“Both. He hasn’t talked to me since he found out that I’m seeing them. So, why now?”
“It sounds like you might be curious.”
“Are you saying I should talk to him?”
“I’m saying that if you’re curious, it might not hurt to talk to him or your mom. If it isn’t what you want to hear, it might be easier to close that chapter in your life.” I let that sink in as she flips back through her notebook. “How are things with Vince and Zac?”
I smile because this is an easy topic. “Great.”
“Are they still supportive?”
“Yes.”
“Do they know that your dad called?”
The smile drops from my face. “No.”
“Why not?” Damn, this woman is good at some curveballs.
“I didn’t think it was important.”
“If it wasn’t important you would have told them. Your relationship with them can’t grow if you’re still hiding things.”
“I’ll tell them,” I mumble.
“Are you still enjoying work?”
“I love it,” I answer honestly. I didn’t think I would because I know nothing about law.
Not only do I get to work side by side with the guys, I’m learning all kinds of shit that I didn’t think I was interested in.
Now that it’s just me at the front desk, I stay really busy but I don’t feel like a failure everyday when I leave like I did at my old job.
“They are teaching me about what they do, not just caging me to what I’m supposed to do. ”
“Is being a lawyer something you could see yourself doing?”
I blush because it’s not something I’ve voiced out loud yet. “Yeah. I thought it would be boring if I’m being honest, and I never had much drive in school besides graduating.”
“It sounds like you’ll be supported if that’s what you choose. But you need to do it for you.”
We finish up the session shortly after and when I leave, I call the detective in charge of the case.
She’s right, my story might help get justice for the other kids involved.
I meet him at a small coffee shop and tell him in excruciating detail what Murkle did.
I don’t feel judgement, just a lot of anger on my behalf.
Before we go our separate ways, he assures me that many boys are stepping forward now and that he was going to do everything that he could to make sure Murkle goes to jail.
My appointment was later in the day, so the guys are already home by the time I get there and something delicious is wafting from the kitchen.
I kick my shoes off and follow the smell to find Vince in the kitchen.
He’s already changed into a loose t-shirt and sweatpants, but he still looks sexy as hell. He looks up when he sees me and smiles.
“Hey, baby doll. How was your appointment?”
“It was good.” I wrap my arms around his waist and bury my face in his back. I can already feel myself relaxing. “I talked to that detective.” I feel Vince’s muscles tense but he doesn’t say anything. “He thinks they have a really good case.”
“How are you doing after that?”
“It went a lot better than I imagined.” I walk to stand beside him and drop to my knees before scooting between him and the stove. He already knows what I’m going for, so he moves back enough that I can pull his pants and boxers down enough to get his cock out.
Suckling him is something that I’ve found can help my frayed nerves.
He doesn’t rush me or make me do anything more than what I need which means that I can suckle until I’m boneless and breathe again.
I bury my nose between his groin and thigh, breathing in his scent first. Then I suck the head of his cock into my mouth, and wrap my arms around his thigh.
Vince runs his fingers through my hair a few times before going back to cooking.
I get a good latch and sink into that happy place in my mind.
I don’t know why the hell this helps, but I’m not arguing about it and neither is Vince.
He gets hard every time but when I’m done and I don’t want to suck him off, he just tucks himself away and gathers me in his arms. I hear them talking around me but it’s fuzzy, which is why I needed this so bad.
I know I need to tell them about Dad but I need to calm the hell down first. Bits and pieces of their conversation starts floating in and I try to push it away until Vince massages the back of my head.
“Baby doll. There’s someone here to see you.” I shake my head and he gently pulls himself from my mouth. I whimper and he squats down in front of me. “It’s your mom.”
There went that happy floaty feeling. “What do you mean?”
“Your mom is here, and she wants to talk to you.”
“Vince, I can’t talk to my mom,” I hiss. “Make her go away.”
Vince tips my chin up with his fingers so I have to look into his eyes. “I think you might want to hear what she has to say.” What the hell has gone on while I was in my happy place? “Zac made sure she was alone and made her tell him what she wanted.”
Vince helps me to my feet and my stomach swoops. “I don’t know if I can do this.”
“We’ll be right there with you.” Vince grabs my hand and kisses my knuckles. “Come on.”
Vince leads me to the living room, and I have a death grip on his hand. The first thing I see is the back of Zac’s head and then he steps to the side. My mom is standing there looking healthy and…clean.
“Mom?” I whisper.
Mom smiles and it’s nervous. “I’m sorry I just showed up, but Oliver said you probably wouldn’t answer your phone.”
“You talked to Oliver?”
Mom shuffles from foot to foot. “I ran into him at the market and we talked for a while. Um, he said you live here now. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have come.”
Mom turns on her heel and reaches for the door. “No. We should…talk.”
“I’d like that.”
Zac and Vince lead us to the living room. She sits on the loveseat and I sit in the middle of the couch, right on the edge of the cushion. “Do you want us to stay?” Vince whispers in my ear. I think about it and shake my head.
“Just stay close?”
“Absolutely.” Vince kisses my cheek and I keep my eyes on mom. She doesn’t even react.
I wait until they’re out of earshot before I finally speak. “Why are you here, Mom?” I’m proud of myself for how steady my voice sounds even though my heart is pounding on my chest.
Mom grabs the throw pillow and holds it against her chest. It’s the same defense mechanism that I have when I’m talking to Trina and I don’t miss it. “I left your father.”
What?! “Okay?”
Mom sighs. “I can never apologize to you enough for what I allowed him to do to you growing up or checking out the way that I did. But I’m…clean now. For seven months. It opened my eyes.”
“I’m guessing that means he’s not calling me to make amends?”
“No. He’s furious about you going public about that pedophile. I’m so sorry, Leland.” Mom’s eyes fill with tears and she lets them fall. “For how I treated you, for not being there for you and not standing up to your father.”
I throw caution to the wind and go to sit beside her on the loveseat. I grab her hand and she squeezes it. “I can’t say that I forgive you yet.”
“No. I don’t expect that. But I’d like to get to know my son if you’ll allow me to.”
“I’d like that.” Can this be fucking real?
Is she really willing to accept me now? I don’t know why, but I feel like she’s telling the truth.
She came here not even knowing what kind of greeting she was going to get.
That has to mean something, right? “You don’t have a problem with my choice in relationship? ”
“They seem very protective of you.” Mom smiles. “I won’t say I understand yet why you have two boyfriends, but I don’t care that they’re boyfriends as long as they treat you good.”
“They do. They’re everything to me.”
“I’m so happy for you. Can I meet them? Officially?”
Even though I’m still wary, I call for Vince and Zac to come back to the living room.
I introduce them, and Mom’s real smile stays in place as they shake hands.
She asks how we met and how long they’ve been together.
She’s still a little uneasy about that question and I can’t say that I blame her, but she’s trying.
Vince invites her to stay for dinner and conversation continues to flow. Mom relaxes the more she gets to know them and I realize it’s the first time I’ve ever seen her happy.
Could I really have a relationship with my mom? She did answer my question about what Dad wanted so I put him on the ‘fuck you’ list for good. I don’t need that in my life.
This day has been a whirlwind of emotions but I think it just ended on a high note.
I think I got my mom back.