Chapter 9 #2
“I do,” Elena says.
“Of course you do, baby. You’re transparent. You lay it all out. It’s what I like most about you.”
Elena’s response gets swallowed by the bar’s noise as Josh and I shuffle toward the exit. He reaches the door first, holding it open with a chuckle at our sneaky escape.
“Well, that was the weirdest evening I’ve had in a while,” I laugh, pulling on my coat. My breath mists in the cool night air, and I shiver, tugging mittens from my pocket.
“Really? It’s spring. It’s not that cold.”
I shush him, grinning as I pull the mittens on. “You know I’m really a cold-blooded lizard person, and this cold front that just rolled in is really hitting me. Actually, I think there was a movie you made once that explored my origins.”
Josh groans, slinging an arm around my shoulders and pulling me close. I tense, surprised by the intimate touch.
Syd’s words echo in my head as I tilt my head back, watching Josh for any sign this is more than friendly.
We start walking, our destination unclear.
“I completely forgot about those home movies,” he says, his voice light. “I wonder if we still have them around somewhere.”
“We should dig them out. Bess and Pete are in a few of those. We could do a montage for their wedding.”
“Good idea. They’re probably all at the summer house.”
“I could spare a weekend away.” I grin. “This lizard wouldn’t mind warming up on a beach.”
“I’m sure I could find you a bedroom.”
We both laugh. Perched on the beach at Capricorn Cove, the Greenfeld’s “modest” eight-bedroom home is anything but.
The yard is perfectly manicured, complete with a swimming pool, tennis court, and a private stretch of warm sand.
I’ve spent countless days there, roped into starring in whatever adventure movie Josh and Sam dreamed up.
From the time I’d turned fourteen through to when Josh and Sam finally took the plunge and moved to Hollywood, nearly every break and weekend had been filled with films.
“When do you want to go?” he asks, steering us around a pile of trash on the sidewalk.
“I’ll check my calendar. Can I call you tomorrow?”
He nods, guiding me down a narrow alleyway.
I glance around, frowning. “Where are we going?”
“You’ll see.”
I arch an eyebrow. “Should I be concerned? This is how scary movies start.”
Josh chuckles. “With speed dating followed by a quick escape?”
“With a hot guy leading a young innocent to her death.”
“I’m a hot guy, huh?”
I jab my elbow into his stomach, laughing as he overreacts. “Hot guys can be serial killers.”
“You watch too much true crime.”
“True. But at least I know how to stay sexy and not get murdered.”
The alley opens onto another street, and we walk a few blocks until we reach the end of a row of brownstones near Grosvenor Park.
“Where are we?” I ask, laughing.
Josh drops his arm and shoots me a grin as he opens a small metal gate, gesturing for me to follow him up a curved set of stairs to the stoop. He unlocks the double doors and holds them open. I step inside, blinking at the beauty before me.
The entrance boasts thirteen-foot ceilings and ornate plaster mouldings.
A parlour sits to one side, and a small coat room nestles under a staircase that takes up half the hall.
Josh leads me through the rooms, pointing out the cherrywood floors, tile inlays, wainscoting, and original stained-glass windows.
“Do you like it?” he asks softly.
Warmth spreads through my chest as I take it all in. “It’s beautiful. How many floors?”
“Five, but it has a subfloor with a screening room, so technically six.” He flashes me a grin over his shoulder. “I was on the fence, but that really weighs in the plus column.”
“Are you renting this?” I trail my fingers along the wood railing as we climb the stairs.
“For now. I wanted to try before I buy.”
We pass the elevator, ignoring it as he leads me through the stunning home.
“This door leads to the master bed, but this is what I wanted to show you.” He grins, opening a door and gesturing for me to go first.
I step inside, gasping as my eyes adjust to the dim light. I move to the center of the room, taking in the gorgeous features.
“What do you think?”
I close my eyes, inhaling deeply through my nose, letting the rich scent wash over me.
“You don’t like it?”
“Shhh,” I reply, eyes still closed. “I’m smelling it.”
“What?”
I open my eyes, grinning at him. “Libraries have a distinctive smell. And this?” I wave a hand around the room. “This is some Beauty and the Beast–level foreplay.”
The library is a dream. Wood paneling, herringbone floors softened by thick rugs, and comfortable chairs positioned perfectly by the windows and fireplace. Giant picture windows feature built-in window seats strewn with pillows and throws, inviting you to sit.
It’s my dream library in my dream home.
“What happened to your one-bedroom apartment?” I ask, running my fingers over the spines of the books.
“It’s been rented and, honesty, it’s time to upgrade. I love the East Side, but I need a place to entertain execs.”
“Are you going to buy this?”
“I wanted a second opinion.”
“Don’t.” I glance over my shoulder, giving him a saucy grin. “I want it. It’ll take me a million years to afford it, but I’ll make it happen.” I lift a foot, sticking it out for him to see. “Think my feet are good enough for OnlyFans?”
He laughs, and a spark of warmth—no, heat—flares deep in my belly.
I push it aside, wrapping my fingers around the ladder for the bookcase.
“I can’t believe you have a library with a ladder.
” I glance at him as I place one foot on the bottom rung.
“You really picked the wrong woman for this. Show me a library, and I immediately lose all impartiality.”
Josh walks over to hold the ladder steady as I climb. “You’re going to do a swish, aren’t you?”
“Oh, yes.”
I grab a random book and push off, humming the Beauty and the Beast theme as the ladder glides along the track.
“This is such a cliché,” Josh mutters, watching me with a smile.
I chuckle, still humming, one arm outstretched, the other clutching a rung.
“You need me to be Beast?” Josh raises his hands, pretending to snarl.
“Oh, how scary you are.” I throw a hand over my head, pretending to cower. “Don’t eat me.”
Josh snatches me off the ladder, his hands firm as he sets me on the floor. He presses me gently back against the rungs, his hands settling on my hips.
My breath catches. He looks at me, his dark eyes shadowed and intense.
“Do you want the truth or the mask?” he whispers, his thumb slipping under my shirt to brush my hip. I shiver at the contact, goosebumps spreading over my skin.
This is Josh. Sam’s best friend. Pete’s brother.
And yet, my body betrays me, aching at his touch.
“Molly? Truth or the mask?” His voice is low, his words heavy with meaning.
“Truth,” I whisper, barely able to speak.
“I want to kiss you.” His mask falls, raw desire written across his face.
Heat blooms in my core, radiating outward. I shift closer to him, my body brushing his. “Josh?”
“I can’t pretend anymore. I want you, Molly. In bed, out of bed. I want to date you. I want to taste your lips. I want to show you off, watch you teach, and hold you when everything feels hard.” His forehead rests against mine, his voice almost a plea. “Fuck. I shouldn’t have said that.”
My heart pounds in my chest, my cheeks flushing. “H-how long have you felt like this?”
He pulls back just slightly, giving me a crooked grin. “A while.”
I draw a shaky breath. I need space.
I step out of his arms, grabbing his hand and leading him to one of the plush couches. We sit, a few inches of space separating us. Silence stretches as I try to untangle my thoughts.
“I think I’d like that too,” I whisper, my fingers drumming nervously against my thumb. “But I’m scared.”
His hands cover mine, halting my tapping. “What scares you?”
“You know.”
“I’m not him.” He lifts my chin, his gaze steady. “I’d never do what he did. I don’t want to change you, Molly. I want to support you.”
Tears shimmer on my lashes. “I don’t want to disappoint you.”
“Ahlemna, Pahe. You could never.”
I sniffle, wiping my eyes. “That’s a lie.”
He gently brushes away a rogue tear. “Not in the way you’re thinking. Disappointments will happen—we’ll miss dinners or forget anniversaries. But I’ll never be disappointed in you. You’re amazing. Vu wha’ kahnati sahjojah.”
My heart melts, hammering in my chest. “Okay.”
“Yeah?” His smile lights up his face.
“Yeah. Let’s try this out.”
“Should we seal this with a kiss?”
I shake my head, standing. “Absolutely not. I’m a three-date kind of girl.”
His grin turns mischievous. “Don’t worry. I’ll change your mind. Epic first date coming right up. And it may even involve dino porn.”
I laugh as he stands, staying close but giving me space.
“So, different topic. Should I buy it?” He waves a hand around the room.
“I haven’t even seen the rest of the place.”
“Gut feel?”
“Absolutely. This is a beautiful home.”
He nods, his gaze lingering on me. “It’s a family home.”
My heart skips a beat. “Lots of spare rooms,” I say softly.
“Kids take up rooms.”
My gut wrenches and I know this is a make or break moment.
Tell him. Before you get too far in.
I take a deep breath, my palms suddenly sweaty.
“Josh, before we go any further with… whatever this is, I need you to know something. I have endometriosis. It’s severe.
There’s a chance I might not be able to have kids.
” Anxiety twists in my chest as I meet his gaze.
“Brad and I, well we tried. For two years. There were surgeries and fertility clinics and it put pressure on our relationship. I want kids, god do I. But there’s a high chance it won’t happen for me.
If being a dad is something you’ve always wanted, then we should end this before we start. ”
“Molly.” His voice is soft but firm as he steps closer, his hands gently settling on my shoulders. “Thank you for sharing. That sucks.”
I nod. “Yeah, it does.”
“But, and I want to be clear on this. If we couldn’t have biological children, that’s okay.”
I blink up at him, startled. “It is?”
He nods, his dark eyes warm and steady. “I’ve never wanted to just be a dad. What I’ve always wanted is to be a partner. I want someone to share my life with. Someone who makes me laugh, challenges me, and makes me feel like I’ve won the lottery just by being around them. Kids or no kids.”
My vision blurs with tears, and I sniffle, trying to hold them back.
“Besides,” he continues, a small grin tugging at his lips, “there are a million ways to be in a kid’s life without being their parent. Aunts, uncles, godparents… it doesn’t matter how it looks. What matters to me is you.”
A tear slips down my cheek, and he brushes it away with his thumb.
“You mean that?” I whisper.
“Absolutely.” He leans down, his forehead resting lightly against mine. “We’ll figure it out together. Whatever happens, however life goes, I’m in this for you.”
The knot in my chest loosens, replaced by a warmth that spreads through me, chasing away my fears. I let out a shaky laugh.
“Well then, full disclosure, there’s some sex positions that don’t work for me due to lesions.”
He nods. “You’ll tell me if something hurts?”
“Yes. And I get really bad period pain. What you saw was the precursor. And I experience migraines a few times a month, depending on my hormones.”
He nods again.
I try to think of anything else I need to warn him about. “And sometimes I leave towels on the bathroom floor.”
He snorts. “That’s it? That’s your bad habit?”
“Yeah. That about sums it up.”
He leans in, running his nose along mine. “Shame. I was hoping for something more juicy.”
“Anything I need to know about you?” I ask, breathless.
“Only that I’m into you. Really into you.”
I poke a finger into his chest. “Don’t go Crazy Elena on me.”
“If you’re my Syd, all bets are off.”
We both laugh.
“I really want to know how their story turns out.”
Josh pulls Syd’s card from his pocket. “Why do you think I kept this? I’m calling him to get the lowdown.”
“You’re such a romantic.”
“Yeah. The muse wants a happy ending.” He says it while looking at me, his meaning clear.
“Josh, I…” I trail off, unsure what to say.
“Let’s look at the rest of the house. Then I’ll walk you home.” His eyes sparkle. “I may even try to steal a kiss.”
I kind of hope he does.