Chapter 9
Gabriel
“I’ll do it.”
River is shooting daggers from her eyes as we square off in her living room. Her stance is wide, like she’s ready to fend off a defensive tackle in a game of football.
I sensed it, the hum of sensation when someone needs to say something to you. It’s been emanating from her since her sister went to bed a few minutes ago. Still, to hear the words coming out of her mouth sends a bucket of cold water over my head, prickling my skin with jagged ice.
“You’ll marry me?”
Her chin goes in the air. “You’ll pay for Skye’s care at the group home for the entire year we’re—”
she clears her throat. “—married, and then for four years after. I need time to put away enough money to keep her there long-term.”
“Five years total?”
“Take it or leave it.”
Something crosses over her features, a caveat. “If she actually ends up staying there. If not, we’ll put those funds towards another caregiver who can be with her at home all day. If we can ever find anyone good enough.”
She closes her eyes briefly and leans back on her heels a little. “At the year mark, we’ll dissolve the marriage.”
“You’re already talking about it dissolving?”
I put my hand on my chest. “That cuts deep, River.”
She rolls her eyes. Whatever softness I got from her out near the lake is long gone. “There will be no feelings discussed, nothing physical, this is a business arrangement. The most business-like business arrangement you’ve ever had.”
“See, that’s not going to work,”
I counter.
“What’s not going to work? You said you’d cover Skye’s care—”
“Not that. That’s fine. I will pay for Caring Souls for the next five years. But the ‘nothing physical’ thing. That’s not possible.”
She’s seething, gritting her teeth. “If you think this is going to be an actual marriage physically, with, with, benefits, you are sorely mistaken!”
I can’t help a laugh. “Benefits? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”
“Stop.”
“I don’t mean benefits. Nothing sexual will happen . . . that I can promise you.”
I give her a once over. The second I begin to entertain having a physical relationship with her will be the beginning of the end for me. I cannot go there. Ever.
“And what’s so wrong with me?”
Her lip curls and her eyes narrow.
“I told you I was attracted to you. I think it’s safe to say we are both attracted to each other. And that’s a good thing because we need to sell this. Which brings me back to the physical aspect. There has to be touching . . . we have to make people think we’re madly in love, don’t we?”
She chews on her lip. She could qualify for an Olympic medal in thinking, she’s ruminating so hard. “Fine. But only in public.”
“I wouldn’t dream of it any other way.”
Biggest lie ever told.
“And only necessary touching, Gabriel.”
I hold up my hands. “Of course.”
“Okay, so do you want to find a lawyer to draw up the contract? Or should I?” she asks.
She doesn’t have money for a lawyer and we both know it. “I got it.”
“Okay then.”
She takes a look around at the house, boxes piled up every which way. I don’t miss the flicker of sadness in her eyes. “And after we move and we get Skye settled at her new place, I’ll move in with Jana for a little while until I have enough to pay for a rental.”
“No. You’ll live with me.”
“I’m not moving to Denver.”
“At my place here in Longdale. With me.”
“I thought that house was a temporary situation.”
“I asked my friend and his wife about the possibility of a long-term arrangement. They said they’d been looking for someone to house sit. They were surprised when I told them I might be staying in Longdale.”
“You told them this even before I agreed?”
“I was confident something would turn out.”
“There’s no reason I’d have to actually live with you there, though. And what are we going to tell people to convince them this is real. That we dated in secret and are now . . . getting married?”
I get why this is hard for her to say. It’s insane. I ignore the part about her thinking she won’t have to live with me and instead address the other part.
“Well, people keep their dating lives under wraps all the time. We can just say that we wanted to keep it to ourselves in the early stages. That makes sense. And as to why we’d be getting married so fast, we can just tell everyone to mind their own business.”
“No. You have to approach this from a PR perspective, remember? You know, the whole reason you came to me in the first place?”
“Alright, alright. Well, you’ve sold the house, so we can just tell everyone that rather than go through the process of trying to find another place, you wanted to just move in with me. It makes practical sense.”
After a long pause, she quirks an eyebrow. “You sure I’m the one and only person you asked to do this? Because if you had asked others, that could complicate things if they were to ever talk about it publicly.”
“I promise. You’re my one and only.”
I stare at her, and she stares back, like we’re both trying to see inside the depths of one another’s souls.
Finally, “So what are you going to do now?” she asks.
I look around the room at the moving boxes in every corner. “We have to live together. You don’t have any other living arrangements, for one thing, and we have to sell this marriage. My dad will be looking for anything suspicious. If we’re not living together? Forget about it.”
She holds up both hands in surrender. “This is insane. Literally insane.”
She starts to pace. “I should have just asked Sebastian for a raise. My parents are actually turning over in their graves right now.”
She gestures wildly. “Like rolling over and over again.”
She covers her face with her hands. “Their poor remains.”
I mask a laugh with a cough. “You’re spiraling, River.”
She drops her hands. “Well, wouldn’t you be?”
“I guess if I were in your position, I would.”
When she doesn’t say anything, I take a deep, slow breath and then say, “Can I ask what changed your mind?”
“Oh, you know. My sister was lost! And her dog was lost. And I couldn’t be here.”
She hugs herself around her middle. “I can’t be here twenty-four-seven. And she’s not safe here, alone. And she’s learning rap.”
Her eyes blaze.
This time I can’t contain my laugh. “There are worse things.”
“I know! And they’re coming, too, if I can’t get a handle on everything. I’ve supported us for a long time but we’re moving. I’m selling the house because I can’t make everything work here. I can’t provide. I’m already grieving the house, and Skye will be, too, when she eventually understands she will never come back here. I’ve tried to explain it to her. But when it sinks in? I don’t know what I’m going to do.”
Her eyes fill with tears, and she dashes at them angrily. “This whole thing is so stupid. What am I doing? I feel like I’m getting in bed with the devil.”
“Gee, thanks.”
“You’re not the devil.”
She groans and piles her blonde hair on top of her head, twisting it up into a bun shape again. “I just feel trapped. I don’t know what else to do.”
She lets her hair drop. “There is nothing else, and I hate that feeling.”
I ease closer to her, but I don’t touch her. “You don’t have to do this. I don’t feel right trapping you into this against your will.”
“You’re not. I’m an adult making my own decision.”
The urge to pull her into a hug is almost overpowering. But I can’t. “I think if you weren’t freaking out about this, there’d be something wrong with you.”
“You’re not freaking out. Does that mean there’s something wrong with you?”
“Well, probably. And I will freak out eventually. This is . . . crazy. But I have to do this. For my family. For my dad.”
“Looks like we’re both doing this for the people we love.”
“Something like that.”
And to be sure, there’s a level of self-service to this, too. I can’t live with this level of guilt. I have to make things right and become the man my father needs me to become.
“There’s something you should know,” she says.
Her face is so grave, a zip of panic flies through my veins. “What is it?”
“So a couple of years ago, I decided to invest in something that turned out to be . . . not great. And so that’s honestly why I had to sell the house. To pay that off. I was trying to make our situation better and instead, I made it much worse.”
Her gaze is on her shoes.
“Well, what kind of investment was it?”
“You’re mister secret keeper. I don’t need to tell you.”
“I told you my secrets. There’s nothing I’m hiding. If we’re getting married, we should be honest with each other.”
She turns and walks over to the fireplace mantle. She whisks a finger along the top and I imagine there used to be knickknacks there that are now boxed up. “I was a silent partner in an oxygen bar start-up in Boulder.”
“Oxygen bar?”
I know I shouldn’t laugh. “Sorry, I just wasn’t expecting that.”
“Hey, I took Skye there a couple of times and think it really helped her processing times. I thought it was a worthy cause. There are health benefits, you know.”
“I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”
“That brings up another point. I’m terribly unlucky. You should know that before you agree to get into bed with me.”
She smacks her hands over her eyes. “Ugh. You know what I mean.”
I can’t curb my laughter any longer, so I let it loose for a moment before I regain my composure. “All of this has been duly noted. I still want to marry you.”
She fights an unruly smile. “So do we shake on it or something?”
“Pinky promise? Blood oath?”
She’s not amused. “Your nonchalance isn’t boding well.”
“It’s probably some coping mechanism I don’t want to dissect right now.”
“Yeah, it is. Guaranteed.”
She’s looking me over like I’m the worst thing ever. However, her eyes, through the tears, show a level of resolve that, frankly, sorta scares me.
“We’ll be in touch, then,” I say.
“You know how to find me.”
“I’ll come by your work as soon as I get the contract made up.”
She blanches. “My work? No. Absolutely not.”
“Why not? As your fiancé, I’d be visiting you at work all the time.”
“You’re not—”
she takes a cleansing breath. “Are we really saying we’re already engaged?”
“We’ll figure all that out tomorrow. The backstory and stuff. Besides, it would be helpful for people to see us together before we make the announcement. It’s going to be kind of fun.”
She gives me another withering look.
Something about being around River feels a whole lot like fun, even when we’re planning the demise of our own marriage.
And this will definitely cause our demise.