Chapter 35
Until you’ve slept under the stars in a Hawaiian jungle to the sound of surf crashing on the rocks, have you really lived?
Zara asked herself that question as she snuggled into the tent that the scientists had kindly lent them.
They’d all set up their tents on the edge of the forest, on the grassy margin between hala trees and bare rocks.
The ground was far from level, and she’d spent some time brushing away loose lava rocks and dead leaves to make it more comfortable.
Now she stretched out on a thin foam mat and listened to the sounds of the jungle.
Lincoln was still talking with Rory over the remains of their campfire, their low voices barely audible, but somehow reassuring. The nighttime mating calls of the coqui frogs created a melodic, constant murmur, which melded beautifully with the thunder of waves pummeling the rocks.
According to Robert, those waves traveled all the way across the Pacific with no interruption until they reached this coastline.
At that point, they unleashed all their energy in an explosion of spray.
Over centuries, that relentless force had carved deep cuts into the flanks of the now-extinct Kohala volcano, creating the legendary seven valleys.
Hawaiian lore described the process as an eternal battle between Pele, the volcano goddess, and her sister Nāmaka, goddess of the ocean.
She’d listened, rapt, because she loved learning new things. She loved experiencing new things. This was life, right here, the life she’d always craved, one of adventure and discovery.
Minus the private militia currently pursuing them, of course. They’d kept the campfire small, even though Robert had done some calculations and determined that it would be impossible for anyone to spot it except from the ocean.
Even though they were on the same island, Kona felt so far away right now.
She didn’t want to think about what it would be like to go back to her actual life.
Struggling to pay bills, worrying about Mia and Eddie, trying to be a good surrogate parent, taking the long boat to a law degree, happy to squeeze in an hour of surfing here and there.
Lincoln unzipped the tent and crawled in next to her. She shoved all thoughts of the future aside and scooted over for him. “Thanks for bringing me with you,” she whispered. “This is like a dream.”
“It’s a dream to sleep on a barely-there mat in a pup tent meant for one?”
She smiled in the darkness. “Absolutely. The stars, the ocean, the jungle. It’s magical. Look up.”
He stretched out next to her and gazed up above them. Their tent had a zippered flap that could be opened for stargazing purposes. Even through the netting, the brilliance of the starry night was breathtaking.
“I could take you anywhere in the world. Luxury villas, five-star resorts, private islands, not the gross kind,” he added quickly. “But you’d prefer this?”
“Did I say that?” A luxury villa sounded pretty nice to her. “I’m saying, this is beautiful. It’s the real deal, you know? It’s…” she gazed past the netting, up at the stars, “like touching the infinite. It’s everything I love. It’s magic. Adventure. It’s life.”
She felt his hand touch her hair. “Come here,” he said, a rough burr in his voice. She snuggled down next to him. The filtered light from the netting made shadows under his cheekbones and gave his eyes a hooded look. He looked intense, almost dangerous.
Her insides turned to molten heat.
He bent over her and brushed his lips against hers. The light contact went straight to her head. It felt like an unspoken promise, of a future so bright and filled with magic that she could practically taste it.
At her sigh, he took the kiss deeper, claiming her mouth in a bossy way that brought out her own feistiness.
She put her arms around his neck and pulled him toward her.
She ran her hands down his chest, feeling nothing but bare skin.
He must have undressed before he got into the tent.
He still wore his briefs, she realized as she reached that part of his body.
The fabric was already tented by the beginnings of his erection.
“Hang on,” he growled as he moved over her. “I have to do something first.”
“Condom?” Did they even have condoms? She hadn’t thought to bring any.
“No. This.” He pinned her arms to the sides and lowered his head to her breasts.
He swirled his tongue across her left nipple.
“It’s very quiet out there, except for the coquis,” he murmured.
“And one thing I already know about you is you like to express yourself during sex. Do you accept the challenge of not making noise?”
“Do you?” She laughed up at him. “I know what you sound like when you come. Unh …oh God … yes…unh unh unh …” She mimicked the sounds he’d made during his orgasm in the hotel.
His laugh made his eyes gleam in the starlight. “You caught me off guard then. Now I know how sexy you are and what it feels like to be inside you. I can be quiet.”
“Now that feels like a challenge. Whoever gives in and makes the first sound has to…uh…” she cast around for a proper prize, “carry the backpacks tomorrow.”
“I’m going to carry the backpacks no matter what. Just lie back and let me do what I’ve been wanting to do all day.”
“Which is…” Breathless, she did as he said.
“Lick you all over. Every inch. Starting with your neck, right here, this nook next to your collarbone.” Which just happened to be one of the most sensitive spots on her body. She squirmed with pleasure as he swirled his tongue across her skin.
“I’m a little sweaty from hiking through the jungle,” she whispered.
“Shhh. I like your sweat. It’s real. I forgot what real is.
Nothing in my world has felt real for a long time.
But you do. Why is that? Don’t answer.” He kept nibbling and kissing and licking as he spoke.
Some of his words were nearly inaudible against her skin.
“Two months ago, I wouldn’t have done this.
I was a clean freak. Sex in a tent? Never.
Now look at me, eating you up, sweat and all. ”
She didn’t answer because she couldn’t. The pleasure he was generating put her into a kind of blissful other world. In this place, time moved differently, measured by sighs and new sensations. A shiver along her rib cage. A pulse in the back of her knee. A tingle in the arch of her foot.
“Lincoln,” she moaned. “Please, it feels too good.”
Through slitted eyes, she saw his smile of satisfaction. Amazing—this was all about her, and he looked completely fine with that. “That’s what I like to hear, my love,” he murmured.
My love? Had she heard that right? Or was that just a thing to say during sex? Those thoughts swam away like confused little fishies as he put his head between her legs and drew his tongue across her pulsing flesh.
To muffle her scream, she grabbed her pillow—which was just her hoodie balled up under her head—and stuffed it in her mouth. “Grmerhghiht,” she groaned into it.
Down there, she could feel him laughing. He held her thighs firm as he sucked on her clit until she wanted to shatter into a million rapturous pieces. His hair tickled the tender inner skin, a distracting sensation that sent stars dancing across her vision.
He kept her balanced on that edge between pleasure and need, between anticipation and explosion, until she couldn’t take it another moment.
Her climax thundered through her body and sent her arching against his mouth.
She made more incomprehensible sounds as she bucked like a wild rodeo horse.
Lincoln managed to hang on for the whole ride, not losing the contact that made it so freaking good.
He was one determined man, she thought as she collapsed back onto the blanket. Panting, she pushed the hoodie away from her mouth; it was a slobbery mess by now.
He sat up, his erection forming the most erotic bulge in his briefs. He reached in and pulled it out. Big hands to match that other bigness, she thought nonsensically. She was still collecting her thoughts.
“Condom?” she whispered.
He shook his head. “Didn’t think to pack one.”
Fuck. She craved him inside her, but that was a bad idea without protection.
“Blow job it is, then.” With an impish smile, she shifted her position so she could reach his penis. “Although I did have occasion to get tested after my last boyfriend, and I’m sparkling clean and healthy.”
“As am I. But what about…”
Pregnancy. Of course. Neither of them wanted that. “You could just pull out before the big moment.”
“Not a guarantee of anything. Pullouts are an inferior way to avoid pregnancy. But…would it be so bad?”
She blinked at him in the starlight. “Excuse me?”
“Do you ever think about kids?”
“I think about them all the time, since I’m basically raising two of them.” Why was he talking like this? She and Lincoln were just living in the moment, enjoying their intense attraction to each other, nothing more than that.
“Your own, I mean.”
“You’ve seen what my life is like. Do you think I have time to bring in a newborn?” She touched his erection, figuring all this talk of pregnancy would be a huge buzzkill. She fully expected him to be going limp, but the opposite was true. His skin was hot and tight.
“But this would be different. The kid would be mine and I’d never walk away from my own child.” The blazing determination in his voice startled her. “I know what that feels like.”
“Hey,” she said softly. How had they gotten onto this topic? Somehow they’d shifted from hot lust to serious conversation. “Of course you wouldn’t. We’re not talking about—”
“But what if I am?” he interrupted. He cupped her face in one hand and slid his thumb across her cheek. They were both sitting up, so close that energy vibrated between them. Her hand was on his erection, his hand around her face. “I think I am.”
“You are what?” she asked warily.
“Talking about us. You. Our future. I’ve never felt this way about anyone, Zara. I didn’t think I was capable of it. The world looks different to me now. It feels different. I feel different.”
He drew in a harsh breath, as if talking like this didn’t come easy to him.
“It started with that plane crash, and all these dreams I’ve been having.
I used to be terrified of losing control.
But then it happened. When that plane went down, I was completely out of control, unconscious.
Defenseless. And now, here I am. It wasn’t the end of the world.
I used to be so paranoid, but I’m not afraid anymore.
I want to be with you. Not just now in this tent, but tomorrow and next week and next year and all the years.
I want us to have a child. I want that child to be loved, to have what I didn’t.
I grew up with everything in the material world that I could ever want.
But there was emptiness at the core. I never saw it until now. ”
“Lincoln.” She could barely breathe. It was almost as if this reserved, stern man had been cracked open and she was seeing the beautiful, lonely boy who still lived inside of him. “I…we…we haven’t known each other very long.”
“So? I met my first wife in seventh grade. We got married right after high school graduation because that was the only way we could have sex because her family was so conservative. I knew her for years before we married, but we didn’t know each other at all.
Sometimes it’s not about time. It’s about this.
” He passed his hand back and forth between them.
“This is magic. It’s rare. Don’t tell me you’ve ever felt this before. ”
“No, but—” She shook her head, desperate to change the subject.
Things had gotten so intense, and it scared her.
Life with a billionaire…she had no idea what that would involve.
Wouldn’t she have to change everything about herself?
What did billionaires do? From what she’d seen at the Royal Leilani, they liked to spend money and socialize with other billionaires and figure out how to make even more money.
Where would she stand in all that? “Can’t we just… ”
She circled her thumb and index finger around his penis, then followed with her lips.
Drawing him inside her mouth, she knew she was being a big coward.
He’d poured his heart out to her. He hadn’t held anything back.
And she, usually so uninhibited, so reckless, so spur-of-the-moment, couldn’t think of a single thing to say in response.