19. “I’ll be your penguin, Aria.”
“I’ll be your penguin, Aria.”
Caleb Hawthorne
I’ve never been this eager to come home from a road trip. Usually, I don’t really care whether I’m here or on the road. But with the holidays coming up, and the prospect of spending time with Aria and my family, I'm the first one off the bus.
I say goodbye to the guys and wish them all a Merry Christmas. Then I hop into my car and drive home.
I crack open my front door, inhaling deeply. It’s funny how the smell of my house has changed since Aria moved in, yet it’s never smelled more like home.
“There you are!” she exclaims, crossing the living room from the kitchen. Her face is relaxed and happy, and—wait. There’s something different about her.
“Your hair,” I whisper, my jaw dropping. Aria got a new haircut, and she looks spectacular.
Her long brown hair still cascades past her shoulders, but it has a new life to it. The fresh cut gives it a natural bounce, and the wispy bangs frame her face perfectly, highlighting her eyes. She was pretty before, but this hairstyle suits her even more. “It’s—wow. You look amazing.”
A deep pink blush coats her cheeks. “Thank you,” she says, pressing her lips together. “I feel like it’s more me, you know?”
“I love it,” I murmur, unable to take my eyes off her.
We stare at each other for a few seconds, and a warm energy crackles between us.
It takes a lot of willpower on my end to refrain from kissing her.
I don’t know what’s happening to me, but coming home to Aria feels so right.
I missed her more than I ever imagined I could, and right now, I just want to be near her.
She sways on her feet. “Well, welcome back.”
“Thanks.” I drop my bag on th e floor. “How was therapy?”
She smiles. “It seems to be helping. Like yesterday, I was at the salon with the girls—my makeover is all thanks to them, by the way—and the hairdresser smelled like lily. The entire time I was there, I felt something familiar, comforting. I even heard a child’s laugh, even though no one was there.
” She hesitates, pressing her lips. “I know it’s weird.
But I feel I have a connection to that scent, somehow. ”
“Wow,” I say. “That’s great.” But it also stings a little, I’m not going to lie. Just when Aria is fitting so well into my life, I’m reminded she can leave at any time.
“I know.” She beams, and I feel like a horrible person for not being happier for her.
Of course she deserves to remember. Even if she walks away from me as a result.
“Dr. Stuart says it’s incredible progress, and he encouraged me to smell it more.
I’ll try to find something with that scent after Christmas. ”
“Actually, I need to do some Christmas shopping today, so we could hunt for that as well.”
“Oh, perfect.” She clasps her hands. “Speaking of, I was wondering what to bring to your family.”
“You don’t have to bring anyt hing. My gifts will be from the both of us.” I smile. “But you can help me pick them out.”
“Okay. But does that mean you haven’t bought anything yet? It’s kind of last minute,” she says with a chuckle. “When I went shopping yesterday with the girls, it was mayhem. I can’t even imagine what it’ll be like on Christmas Eve.”
“I’m a man. I procrastinate my shopping.
” I shrug. “And it’ll be fine. I always operate like this.
I did already get a model plane for my nephew.
My sister sent me what he wanted, and I ordered it.
I just need to wrap it. Also, I’m not buying anything for my parents, because they’ll smack me if I do.
But I definitely have to find gifts for my sisters.
They’ll smack me if I don’t,” I say with a small laugh.
“Right.” She grins. “Any ideas?”
“My older sister, Lisa, always has to fight her son for her tablet, so I might just buy her a new one. And for my youngest sister, Gaby, I was thinking a big, fat box of US specialty food, since she lives in France now and won’t stop raving about how delicious everything is.
You know, a little something to remind her what we have here in the States.
” I run a hand through my hair. “That’s why I didn’t order it online. Need to find the good stuff.”
“All great ideas.” She nods, pulling at the sleeves of her sweater. “Oh, by the way, you never told me about the Polar Plunge you guys are doing after Christmas. That’s insane!”
“I know.” I laugh, shivering just thinking about it. “Jumping into ice-cold water is going to be brutal, but it’s for charity. Do you want to come?”
“Um, absolutely,” she says with a laugh. “There’s no way I’m missing that. And right afterward, we’ll have my birthday party to warm everyone up.”
“Wait, you remember your birthday?” My pulse quickens.
“No, but the girls unanimously decided it was yesterday so they could treat me to a new haircut and some clothes, and since you guys weren’t back yet, and we have Christmas coming up, they decided to throw a party the day after.”
I can’t help but smile. “Sounds perfect.”
And I truly mean it. I can’t think of a better way to spend my evening after a grueling and freezing day at the beach than celebrating Aria. She deserves a birthday party to remember, and I’ll make sure she gets it.
After stopping by the electronics store to buy a tablet for Lisa, we stroll leisurely to the Christmas market nearby.
The nostalgic aromas of eggnog and mulled wine weave together in the air.
Shoppers are laughing and chatting as they huddle in their puffy coats, the glow of twinkling Christmas lights reflecting in their eyes.
We meander through the chalets until we find a lily candle for Aria.
We also stock up on a ton of gourmet specialty food items for Gaby.
Maple syrup, peanut butter cups, beef jerky, and a box of mac and cheese—all the things that will remind her where she comes from.
Aria even finds a cute woven basket to put everything in, and we toss in a stars-and-stripes beanie for good measure.
“Well, that was easy,” I say, surprised we’re already done. “I was a lot more efficient with your help.”
She giggles, her cheeks pink from the cold. “Glad I could be of assistance. Now, we just have to arrange everything in the basket and make it pretty—oh, and wrap the other two gifts.”
“Before we do all that, how about some ice skating?” I suggest, motioning to the rink where families and couples are gliding across the ice. “We do have time now, after all.”
She furrows her eyebrows, looking at the rink. “Really? You spend almost every day on skates. You’re not ready to hang them up yet?”
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Absolutely not. Skating for fun is even better. In fact, that’s where my love for hockey came from. I started really young, kind of like that kid over there,” I say, pointing at a little boy who’s pushing a skating aid penguin, his dad skating beside him.
“Wow. Isn’t that a bit dangerous for me, though? I have no idea whether I have any form of balance, or if I’ve even tried it before.”
“Nah, it’s not dangerous. Look at how peaceful everyone is, skating along. This will be fun, come on. You have to try, at least.”
She sucks in a deep breath. “Well, Dr. Stuart did encourage me to try new things, so why not? But remember, the inauguration of this ice skating rink was the reason why the hospital was so crowded the night of my accident.”
I laugh, pressing my shoulder to hers. “Don’t worry. You’re safe with me. I’m a pro hockey player, after all.”
We both wander over to the skate rental area and put on our skates. The minute I do, I regret not bringing my own skates with me. I should have anticipated this. These are probably the most uncomfortable skates I’ve ever tried, crippling my toes while feeling way too loose around my ankles.
“All good?” I ask Aria.
“Honestly, I’m not sure if they’re tight enough. But I feel good in them.”
I almost wince. The problem is definitely me, then. I lean down in front of her and tug on the laces to make sure her skates are tight. “How does that feel?”
She stares at me for a second, then nods before glancing off to the side. “Yep, all good.”
“Okay.” I do the other one, and after securing our belongings in one of the lockers, we head to the rink.
“Are you sure I don’t need one of those penguin thingies?”
I turn to face her. “I’ll be your penguin, Aria.”
Our gazes cross, and we burst into laughter.
“Okay, that came out weird,” I say with a chuckle. “What I mean is, you can hold on to me.”
Aria
The second I step on the ice, I know it’s my first time. My legs are so wobbly, it’s a wonder I’m even still standing. I’m gripping Caleb’s bicep like my life depends on it, my fingers clutching the fabric of his coat, but he doesn’t seem to care.
“You’re doing great,” he says, skating forward a little. “Just hold on to me, and try to move your feet.”
“I can’t,” I blurt. “I’m going to fall, I’m sure of it.”
He turns around in a swift movement, taking my hands in his. His touch is warm and comforting, but it also feels like I’m holding a ticking time bomb. “Move your feet forward, but don’t lift them off the ice.”
“You’re skating backward! Is that even safe?” I ask, looking around to confirm that everyone else is definitely skating forward. “Don’t crash into anyone.”
“I won’t,” he says, glancing over his shoulders. “Let’s keep going. Slide your feet, slowly but surely.”
I do as he says, probably breaking his fingers in the meantime. But before I know it, I’m moving. A laugh bubbles out of me. “I’m doing it.”
“See? It’s easy. We’ll circle around the rink like this so you can get more comfortable.”
I almost fall a couple of times, but Caleb’s hands steady me. After a while, I risk looking up instead of staring at my feet. Big mistake, because when I lift my gaze, I see Caleb’s deep brown eyes watching me intensely. How the ice is still frozen is a mystery to me.
“So, how was your week? Weren't you bored without me?” He smirks, and I almost lose my balance again.
“It was great having the house to myself,” I joke. “No, for real though, I wish you’d been there. But it was all right. I went to therapy every day and did some cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping—the usual, you know?”
“Have you been reading? You seem to enjoy that.”
“I did read a bit.” I smile, recalling how much I enjoyed those rom-coms. “I finished two more books, and I also—” I bite down on my tongue, cutting myself off before I spill too much.
He frowns, tilting his head. “You what?”
I really hadn’t intended on telling anyone else about my writing. I liked keeping that piece of myself private. Besides, it feels so silly that the girl with zero memories or life experiences is writing a book. No one would take me seriously. “Oh, nothing.”
“Come on. You have to tell me now,” he says, squeezing my hands. “Unless it’s illegal. Then I don’t want to know.”
I laugh, rolling my eyes. “It’s not. It’s just silly.”
“Then you really have to tell me. I love silly. And I’m dying to know what your idea of silly is.” He does a little dance to make me laugh.
I sigh, looking away. “I starte d writing a book.” The words are surprisingly liberating, and Caleb doesn’t laugh. He doesn’t even smirk.
His eyes widen, and he does a double take, still skating backwards at a slow pace. “You’re writing a book?”
I nod, suddenly shy under his intense gaze. “Yeah. Just—just something small. For fun.”
He blinks rapidly. “That’s not silly, Aria. That’s—”
His skate catches on the ice, to my horror.
It all happens so fast. One second, he’s staring at me like I’ve turned into a whole new person, and the next, his balance is swept out from under him. He lurches forward, still holding onto my hands. Instinctively, I try to steady him. Huge mistake.
His weight pulls me down with him, and before I can do anything to stop it, I land right on top of him.
For a moment, neither of us moves. My hands are braced on his chest, my knees straddling his waist. His hands settle instinctively on my hips.
As the seconds tick by, the world around us dissolves into a blur of skaters and twinkling Christmas lights, but all I can focus on is the sharp rise and fall of his chest beneath me, the heat of his hands, the way his breath fans across my face.
His eyes darken a shade, locked o nto mine, and suddenly, I can’t even remember what the air is supposed to feel like in my lungs.
I should move. I should say something. But I don’t. Because Caleb is staring at me like I’m something worth staring at, something worth keeping close. And that makes my head spin faster than our dizzying fall did.
Caleb swallows, his gaze flickering down to my lips—for a fraction of a second—but it’s enough to make my heart trip over itself.
“Hey! Aren’t you Caleb Hawthorne from the Raptors?” a teenage boy asks, stopping next to us with his friend.
Caleb groans beneath me, squeezing his eyes shut like he’s physically in pain. “Yep, that’s me. Hi guys.”
They chuckle. “Hey, can we take a selfie with you? Once you’re up, that is.”
He gives them a thumbs up. “Sure. Do one more lap around the rink and find me.”
They skate away eagerly, and I bite my lip, trying and failing to suppress a laugh. “You okay?”
“Better than my reputation, that’s for sure. I was just viciously thrown onto the ice by a beginner skater. Might need to retire.”
My jaw drops. “Such a liar! And here I thought you were a stand-up guy.” I smack his chest, and he grins. But his hands don’t leave my waist, and for another heart-stopping moment, we just stay there on the ice, in our own little world.
Just when I think I should move, Caleb exhales dramatically, and the tension lingering in the air fades. “Fine,” he relents, his voice teasing but his eyes warm, “I was the one who fell first.”
I shake my head, chuckling. “Good. Just making sure we’re clear on that.”
“But it was all because of these darn skates.”
“ Suuure ,” I say, laughing hard.
I push myself up, steadying myself on the boards, but Caleb is faster. He’s on his feet in a matter of seconds, helping me up.
“Glad to see you still have some skills,” I say with a playful smirk.
“Very funny.” He rolls his eyes, dusting himself off. “You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”
I shake my head, grinning. “Never.”