5. Graham
CHAPTER FIVE
graham
Broken hearts still yearn
They need love more than ever
To heal those old scars
I’m not sure what I find more impressive: Booth picking someone up while in a pair of extremely tight cycling shorts, or the fact the woman didn’t even notice he’s without a bike.
After exchanging numbers with her, he turns and saunters back over to where I’m sitting on the bench along the dock. I keep my eyes trained on his face. Seeing my little brother’s junk highlighted in black spandex was not on today’s bingo card.
“ When was the last time you even rode your bike?” I ask as he sits down next to me and stretches his legs out to rest on the railing between the dock and the water.
“ Springtime .” He folds his hands behind his head and shuts his eyes, enjoying the early evening sun.
The trees across the bay have started to shift from deep greens to yellows and ambers, their bright colors reflecting in the calm waters. I usually rely on this very spot to settle myself after an overwhelming day at the office or when I need to feel close to my dad. This is where we’d meet up for lunch some afternoons, silently taking in the scenery around us or catching up.
This time it’s done little to ease the guilt I’ve felt since leaving Quinn’s bakery yesterday.
“ Why are you wearing those god-awful shorts?”
Without opening his eyes, he gestures toward his crotch, and I scoff at his ridiculous yet oddly effective tactic at picking people up. Curly , who is lying at my feet, growls at him before going back to sleep.
“ For a little wiener, he’s a massive prick.” He scowls at my dog and then waves the stranger’s number in my face. “ Don’t hate on the shorts, either, they work.”
I stare at the slip of paper in his hand.
Those ten digits send shame coursing through me, reminding me how I lied, and clearly embarrassed Quinn , when I told her I lost her number. As if I hadn’t been drafting texts to her for months. It was one of the few times I spoke before thinking, not wanting to come across as overeager.
And instead, I upset her.
She couldn’t get away from me quick enough and I knew I’d fucked up. Despite Jo’s pleas about warming Quinn up to the idea of the two businesses working together, I sensed something more going on with her.
I catch Booth eyeing me curiously.
“ What ?” I ask, even though I know exactly what he’s about to say.
“ Has Mom spoken to you?”
With a huff, I turn to face the water and follow the small swells coming from a fishing boat as its bow bobs toward the mouth of the bay. I brace my elbows on my knees and myself for this conversation .
“ I’ve told her I’m going to the wedding. She’d ask questions I don’t want to answer if I didn’t.”
When he doesn’t respond, I find him looking at his hands furiously. His teeth grind together before he spits his next words out. “ This is ridiculous. I don’t like speaking badly about women, but she’s a piece of work. After everything she did, she has the audacity to invite you to their wedding.”
“ Let’s remove her from the equation. He’s our cousin.” My fingers flex, hoping to ease the tension building in my muscles.
“ No cousin of mine,” he scoffs. “ I’m going to invite that girl I met last summer. You know, the one who threw up after drinking one too many glasses of red wine? Maybe I can aim her toward Jenna during the speeches.”
My head spins and my stomach churns. A date. Fuck , it will be mortifying turning up alone. There isn’t a single ounce of me that wants Jenna back, but I can already picture the conceited look on her face when she receives my RSVP with just my name on it.
He must sense the shift in my mood. “ We’re not going. I’ll find something better for Mom to do on that day.”
“ We have to go. Nancy is Dad’s only sibling, it would break Mom’s heart if we didn’t go. No matter how much of a prick Ralph is.” Aunt Nancy is the sweetest woman. I have a lot of memories in her house as a kid, and with Ralph , until he turned into an insufferable asshat.
Booth’s strong hand pulls at my shoulder, forcing me to face him fully. “ Be serious, Gray . You think I’d go? Patrick called me the minute he opened his invitation. Even our calm big bro was blowing steam down the phone. You’re not really thinking of going, are you?”
I throw a hand through my hair. “ Mom thinks we ended things amicably. She’s still under the impression Jenna and I broke up months before we actually did and that her and Ralph’s relationship started long after that. You know what Mom’s like, she’ll refuse to go to the wedding if she knows the truth, and I don’t want her cutting herself off from the only family left on Dad’s side.”
Booth’s knowing look tells me he shares the same concern.
Mom never exactly warmed to Jenna , but she was always civil and kind to her. I explained that we broke up two months before the night Jenna walked out, which softened the blow when she found out Jenna had moved on with her nephew. She pried a little, but I shrugged off her questions and reassured her it was for the best.
Looking back, my mom would have been nothing but supportive. I just took the coward’s way out and it’s too late now to reveal what actually happened.
I blow out a breath and reveal my actual concern. “ I’m over the affair, you know this. But …if I don’t show, Jenna will think she won. I’m not sure what’s worse, though, not going or going alone.”
“ She gave you a plus one, right?”
“ Yes . But I have no one to take.”
“ So , get a girlfriend.” He acts as if it’s that simple. I mean, for him it probably is.
I fix him with a pointed stare. “ Yeah , and who would that be, smart-ass?” Or better yet, who would even want to date me? I know who I’d like to take as my date… No . I shake that delusion away.
“ That !” He shoves a finger in my face. “ What was that look? Your eyes went all soft, like you actually have emotions.”
“ Fuck off,” I grumble and slap his hand away, angry at myself for that momentary slip.
He jumps off the bench, and Curly barks at him as he raises his arms in the air in frustration. “ Seriously ? We tell each other everything. ”
“ No . You ”— I point at him—“tell me about all your sexcapades without my consent, and I try to block them out.”
“ You could share things with me. If you ever went out and spoke to women, I’d listen. Our mother, Johanna , and Lottie do not count.”
With a swallow, I cast my eyes down and scratch Curly’s smooth head. “ I speak to women. Or woman.”
At this rate, I’m just inviting Booth to meddle in my life. As much as it makes me itch seeing his eyes light up like a Christmas tree at my admission, I’d give anything to be half as confident as he is.
“ Tell me, tell me,” he pleads like a teenage girl talking about her school crush.
“ Quinn .” He nods slowly, the corners of his mouth turned up slightly as he waits for the rest of the story. “ Jo asked me to speak to her about working with the restaurant.” I downplay it, as if I haven’t been imagining talking to her for months now. “ We spoke yesterday, she’s nice.”
Understatement of the century, but this is all Booth is getting or he’ll get too excited. Like when my dog gets the zoomies.
“ Quinn’s a great girl. Good choice. How did it go?” he asks.
The grimace on my face is all telling.
The bench creaks as he sits down again and bumps his shoulder with mine.“ Oh god. What happened?”
Groaning , I scratch the back of my neck in discomfort. “ I think I offended her. We met back in March , she gave me her number and… I kinda implied I’d lost it…but I haven’t. It doesn’t matter.” I wave it off. “ She doesn’t want to work with me anyway. She needed some accounting advice but shot me down, so there’s no reason for me to speak to her now.” I scrub a hand down my face with a loud sigh, and Curly whines in unison.
“ You’re an idiot. It’s offensive we share the same bone structure, and you don’t even put it to good use. This is fixable, all we—” He gasps and squeezes my shoulder in a death grip. “ Oh . I am a genius. Brains and beauty. Remember this day.”
“ I don’t want to ask.” Yet , I’m intrigued as I peel his hand off my shoulder and push him away.
“ You like her, don’t deny it. You need a date for the wedding but are inherently introverted. Ask her to be your date as a favor; you could do her bookkeeping or whatever it is in return.” His hands are upturned waiting for my response.
“ You’ve lost me.”
“ Fake date her. Go on a couple of dates around town so Jenna doesn’t catch on it’s fake. We both know she has her old high school cronies sniffing around. Do it all under the pretense that you need a date for the wedding, and in return, you’ll look over her numbers, and then who knows, maybe her bedroom ceiling.”
“ That is ridiculous. But also…” My head falls in my hands, and I push my glasses back off my face. “ Kinda smart. Jesus , I can’t believe I’m considering it. I must be desperate.”
“ I think the fact you’re considering it means you think she’s more than nice.” He smirks. It’s not smug, though, more like he’s happy for me. “ There’s no pressure, but maybe pushing yourself out of your comfort zone will do you some good.” I turn to look at him. “ Jenna does not get to dictate how you see yourself any longer. You’re a good guy. And maybe as you get to know Quinn , she’ll see that too.”
“ She has to say yes first. She’ll probably agree out of pity. God , she’s going to think I’m pathetic. Fuck , why am I even entertaining this?” My head falls back, and I stare up at the white fluffy clouds floating by.
“ Just try it out. If you’re not comfortable, it’s not like you’re actually dating, though, I think you’re going to woo the pants off her.” He pulls out his phone and taps away at the screen.
“ Who are you texting?” I peer over his shoulder .
“ Our dear little sister. I’m pretty sure she reads those kinky books about cowboys and fake dating. We need to do our research.”
“ My life is not a romance novel.”
“ No , because you need to experience romance for that to be possible. You two would look good together. If anything, you might gain some confidence again and if you show up to the wedding with Quinn on your arm, Jenna will realize what she lost.”
“ It’s not about making her jealous or wanting her back,” I protest loudly, gaining the attention of a couple passing by. “ I’d rather a lobster take off my thumbs than be associated with her again.”
“ Christ , I know that. If you ever thought about getting back with her, I’d push you off one of the bluffs. It would show her that she no longer holds any power over you. I want to see you happy, Graham .”
The longer I sit here, the salty air blowing away the veil I’ve been wearing since Jenna walked out of the door, the more I want to prove to her that I’m done living under her rule.
She probably thinks she still knows me well enough and expects me to decline the invitation with my tail between my legs. But the thing is, she doesn’t know me anymore. When I look back, I don’t think she ever did. Bringing a woman like Quinn —someone so unlike Jenna —with me will be the last thing she expects.
Maybe if I prove her wrong, I can finally stop overthinking everything I say and do. Stop seeing myself as lonely, pitiful Graham . Boring Graham . Unlovable Graham . Gray .
Is asking the girl I’ve been infatuated with for months to be my fake date the best idea? No . But she’s the only woman I’ve managed to string whole sentences together with when we talk. She smiles at me freely and doesn’t get annoyed when I stumble over my words or fall silent.
Pivoting toward my brother, I sit up straight and take a deep breath. “ Call Florence . We need the names of those fake dating books.”