Chapter 28
‘I was just about to send out a search party for you two,’ Bernadette said, as Marge and Clara came back to the table. She searched their faces for a glimpse of discord or hostility and was relieved to see that, other than Marge looking a little flustered and red in the face, all seemed to be fine.
In the unexpectedly honest, frank discussion she’d had with Marge earlier, right before the manager had interrupted them at the end of the wake, Bernadette had been stunned when Marge had revealed the truth of Estelle’s paternity. It had almost seemed like a relief to Marge to get it off her chest.
‘Did Kenneth know that she wasn’t your husband’s baby?’ Bernadette had asked, curious as to her former husband’s part in this.
‘He did. We’d been friends – or perhaps acquaintances would be a better word – for a while at that point.
In fact, I was with him, and a group of other doctors, at a party on the night Estelle was conceived.
Kenneth saw me leave with Lester and later he did the maths.
I’ve always thought that was one of the reasons Kenneth offered me the job,’ she’d said, with what Bernadette thought was incredibly perceptive honesty.
‘It was his way of subtly keeping Sir Lester on the hook for anything Kenneth might want. Lester would never know whether I’d told Kenneth or not and therefore he’d do anything to keep him onside – including making sure they were seen together at all the right places. ’
Bernadette had felt a shiver go right down her spine. ‘I’d love to say that was a surprise, but I knew him too well. He was a master of that kind of manipulation and a relentless social climber, so that makes so much sense.’
‘I don’t even feel that I can judge or criticise anyone after what I did, though. The guilt of it made me so ashamed. It still does. I understand if you want to get up and walk away, Bernadette. You must be disgusted.’
Of course, Bernadette had done no such thing. In fact, her heart ached for Marge, for Clara, for all of these women.
Earlier, she had seen how hard it had been for Marge to confide in her, and now, as she watched them return to the table, Bernadette wondered if Marge and Clara had just had a similar discussion.
Bernadette hoped so. They’d decided earlier that if there had been a theme of this dinner tonight, it was that the truth, no matter how unpalatable, was easier to bear than the secrets.
Or something like that. Three cocktails ago, she’d made a mental note of it, but it was a tad scrambled now.
Ding ding ding.
Diana Atkins was rattling the glass of her porn star martini and demanding their attention. Thankfully, other than the staff over at the stunning art deco bar in the middle of the restaurant, they were the only diners left in the room.
‘Ladies, I would like to say something.’ She waited until everyone was tuned in. ‘I woke up this morning feeling awful. I also had a dream that I had sex with my gynaecologist, but that’s another story.’
Bernadette scanned the group. ‘Anyone here married to a gynaecologist who’s been acting suspiciously lately? Only with you lot…’
The hoots of laughter carried right over the sound of Celine Dion singing ‘The Power of Love’ in the background.
‘Anywaaaaaay,’ Diana drawled, reclaiming the floor.
‘As I was saying, I woke up this morning feeling awful. Even though Kenneth was most definitely on my shit list, I knew I had to show face at his funeral, and I was dreading it. I couldn’t stand to see Murray again, because he has wounded me to the core.
And, also, I thought he might turn up with some young blonde on his arm to piss me off. ’
‘Turns out he left with a young blonde on his arm…’ Danielle pointed out, rather unnecessarily.
‘And yes, that did piss me off. I’ve said a silent prayer that there’s an STD in his near future,’ Diana said with an exaggerated purse of the lips. There was more laughter before she carried on. ‘But the point is, it’s turned out to be the best day I’ve had in ages. I haven’t laughed more…’
‘Or drank more,’ Bernadette offered, but she was fairly sure she was projecting. And she was also tipsily aware that she herself hadn’t drunk this much since… since… well, ever. This was ten years’ worth of Christmases, New Year, and birthdays combined. With a cherry on top.
‘So I want to thank you all,’ Diana said, raising her glass. ‘To us.’
Around the table, they all joined the toast, before Annabel Stevenson took the reins.
‘I would like to thank you all too. Ladies, you have soothed my soul today and reminded me that we’re all human. Sometimes that’s easy to forget.’
They were all nodding, taking on board the profound, spiritual message in her comment, when she added, ‘But I am up for re-election next month, and can’t afford a whiff of scandal or the rest of the hypocritical, misogynistic gits will have me replaced by someone from the Green party.
So I would like to request that nothing that has been said tonight is ever repeated.
I trust you all,’ she paused to let that soak in.
‘But you might get a non-disclosure agreement from my office just to be on the safe side.’
That set them all off again and this time it crossed Bernadette’s mind that if Annabel’s constituents saw her jokey side, it might make her even more popular. At least, Bernadette hoped that was a joke.
It was Danielle who raised her glass next. ‘Well, first of all, I’d like to thank this restaurant for my Cheat Day chips,’ she said, with a drum roll on the table. ‘They’ll keep me going for a whole seven days until the next time.’
‘Glad we could be of service,’ Marge piped up and Bernadette was pleased, because she’d been a little worried by how quiet she’d been for the last hour or so.
Maybe she had had a difficult discussion with Clara.
Or perhaps Marge was just one of those people with a smaller social battery and it was running low, as opposed to Bernadette, who had been accused by many of being plugged in to the National Grid.
Back to Danielle. ‘And I’d also like to thank you all for making me feel like a far less shitty and stupid person than I have since I found out I had an affair with a married man because I fell for all his lies.
And especially to you, Bernadette. I don’t think there are many women who would embrace us the way that you have.
Kenneth was a complete dick to let you go. ’
The staff at the restaurant bar were now rolling their eyes every time they did a round of applause and a cheer, but they were too many porn star martinis in to take offence or stop.
It was Marge’s turn next. ‘Well, I would like to thank you all for making today eventful and eye-opening. And for embracing me in this group, despite the fact that I have undoubtedly been short, sharp and dismissive of you over the years, especially during the periods of your liaisons.’
Annabel shuddered. ‘I’ve just remembered that you once put me on hold for twenty-seven minutes. I’ve never been able to listen to Ravel’s “Boléro” since. I have to switch the TV off when Torvill and Dean come on, just in case.’
‘I wholeheartedly apologise,’ Marge said, with what was obviously mock contrition.
Over dinner, they’d all swapped stories of their interactions with Marge, all the calls or visits they’d made to Kenneth’s office, emails they’d sent, functions they’d attended in her presence, and the common theme had been her absolute surface professionalism and her unmistakable underlying disapproval.
Bernadette was grateful for the indirect support.
She truly wished she and Marge had got to know each other so much better over the decades, as she saw now that they could have been great allies and friends.
But then, that was obviously the reason that Kenneth kept them apart. He was reckless, but he wasn’t stupid.
Marge had more to add. ‘But I’d just like to say that I too once made a very similar mistake with a man…’
Bernadette was sure she saw the tiniest flicker of understanding shoot between Marge and Clara, before Marge went on.
‘So I just want to say sorry. I wasn’t judging you… I think I was just trying to deal with my own guilt.’
There was a surprised silence, as they all absorbed the apologetic sentiment, before Danielle came in with words of wisdom. ‘Nope, not buying it. You were totally judging us.’
And in a flurry of cackles, the moment, and Marge’s confession was gone, and Bernadette was sure her new friend’s shoulders rose several inches as the guilt lifted from them.
Bernadette was about to take her turn, when Clara got in there before her.
After Marge, Clara had perhaps been the biggest surprise of the day.
Bernadette had always thought that she was incredibly regal and perhaps a tad prim, and she may indeed be those things, but today she had also been unwaveringly kind, wise, candid and there was definitely a twinkle of humour in her eye too.
‘Well, before I make a toast, I’d like to make a suggestion.
In May, every year, I travel to London, to meet up with the girlfriends I went to university with, on the anniversary of our graduation.
It’s a central point because we are all scattered across the globe.
And in September every year, I travel to Monaco to meet up with my sisters on my mother’s birthday… ’
‘Clara, are you making a toast, or just showing off about your travel plans, because my last holiday was to Palma Nova and it rained every day,’ Danielle pouted.
‘Bear with me, I’m getting to the point,’ Clara insisted. ‘Here, in Glasgow I have many friends…’
Annabel rolled her eyes. ‘She’s showing off again. I have three friends and one of them is my mother.’
‘But,’ Clara countered pointedly, ‘none that I’ve ever been able to speak to candidly and frankly about Lester’s behaviour.
I’ve known Annabel for many years, which is why I joined your table when Lester was ignoring me today.
It was my own little rebellion, but it has turned into so much more than that.
I can’t tell you how refreshing this has been to meet you all.
I know you’re all very busy people, but I wondered if you would consider making this an annual event.
A gathering every year. Perhaps even on today’s date, just to remind us of the fortuitousness of our meeting. ’
Every head at the table turned to Bernadette, who was attempting to absorb the shock of the suggestion.
Today had been great. A real tonic. There was no denying that. But Clara’s idea? It was outrageous.
‘So what you’re saying is…’ Bernadette began, slowly, in disbelief, ‘that you want to meet every year on the anniversary of the funeral of my ex-husband of thirty years…’
She paused, trying to format her thoughts. Definitely a few too many of those cocktails.
‘To celebrate the fact that he was a terrible person…’
No one interrupted.
‘And to mark the fact that today was the day that – with the exception of Clara and Marge – I confirmed my suspicions that the rest of you shagged him behind my back…’
You could hear a pin drop.
‘All of which contributed to the ultimate destruction of my marriage. Do I have that right?’
‘Well…’ Clara began, obviously regretting the request, but Bernadette put her hand up to stop her.
‘I think it’s outrageous. And I think Kenneth would be utterly disgusted and appalled.’
Still tumbleweed.
‘So I abso-bloody-lutely think that’s the best possible reason for doing it.
Great idea, Clara, and I’ll see you all next year, ladies.
Same time. Maybe not same place, because it’s fecking extortionate here and I’m on a nurse’s wage.
But let’s do it.’ With that, Bernadette raised her glass, ‘Here’s to us. ’
The five other members of their newly formed, exclusive club raised their glasses.
And Bernadette was absolutely positive that wherever Kenneth Manson was now, whatever halls of hell he was pacing, he would be raging just a little bit louder.
And that made her smile just a little bit wider.