Chapter Fourteen
B rooke was stunned as Aiden’s mouth touched hers, yet every nerve ending in her body came to life.
Her heart raced, and her thoughts turned hazy as she parted her lips for him.
One of his strong arms wrapped around her body and he slid the other into her hair, using the strands to tilt her head and give him better access to her mouth.
Everything between them seemed right, just like when they’d been together before. Only the time and place were off.
That should have pulled her out of the moment, but she’d been fighting him and her feelings for so long. As she kissed him back, the struggle between her mind and her heart was real. But so was he, and she was so tired of the war inside her.
He lifted his head, his brown eyes dark with longing. “Don’t overthink things,” he said, dragging his knuckles down her cheek. “It’s you, Brooke. It’s always been you.”
She swallowed hard. “I want to believe that.” And a part of her did.
“I’m also so damned sorry.” He’d slid his hands to her waist and didn’t release his hold.
“What?”
“I’m sorry for not telling you about my plans to leave before we slept together, and I’m sorry for not handling it well after.”
She blinked, tears forming in her eyes. It was the first time he’d apologized and, in a way, she knew he understood what he’d done wrong, and the sincerity in his voice affected her deeply. So did the sadness and remorse in his dark eyes.
He’d finally cracked open something within her, and she was ready to have the conversation that was long overdue between them.
“I needed to hear your apology,” she said. “But you need to hear how you affected me.”
He nodded, stiffening because he no doubt knew he wouldn’t like what she had to say.
“When you made that announcement to everyone? I felt like such an immature idiot,” she said, remembering the night of Fallon’s party.
“You said you had something to say, and I thought you were going to tell them about us .” She paused long enough to let out a humorless chuckle even as she felt the urge to cry. But she’d done that enough over Aiden.
His eyes opened wide. “Brooke, I—”
She shook her head. “Let me finish, please.” She drew a deep breath.
“Looking back, I know how stupid that thought was. We weren’t in a relationship; we’d had one night together.
There’d been nothing to announce. But I was full of happiness and childish hope, and I’d convinced myself of something you’d never actually said to me.
” She took a step back, sending her chair moving away.
“No,” Aiden cut in, his voice thick with emotion. “You weren’t stupid or childish. I led you on. I can see that now.”
She sighed, appreciating the sentiment. “You telling us you were leaving New York was such a shock to me.”
“I think I stunned the whole family,” he said.
“I didn’t tell a soul when I applied for the job because I didn’t know if I’d get it, and I was worried everyone would try and talk me out of it.
” He stepped away, walked around the desk, and paced across the carpet behind the chairs.
“And if I’d been faced with that kind of pressure, I wasn’t sure I would have been able to go through with leaving.
Telling everyone after it was a done deal seemed easier. ”
She supposed she could understand his reasoning. “But you could have told me privately,” she whispered, her throat tight.
He nodded. “I know that now.” He rubbed his hand along the back of his neck. “I thought it would be easier to break the news to you at the same time as everyone else.”
“Easier for who?” she asked.
“For me,” he said, glancing away. “I avoided a one-on-one conversation because I couldn’t face hurting you. Telling you in a group gave me distance.” He met her gaze across the room. “It was the cowardly way out. And then we had that private talk anyway.”
She nodded, unable to argue. The entire party had been a nightmare, her trying to act normal and happy for Fallon while her heart had been shattered.
“I asked you if we could try a long-distance relationship.” She refused to say what he’d told her next.
She didn’t think she could get those words out without crying.
He dipped his head before he walked over to her, grasping her shoulders. “I should never have told you what we had didn’t mean anything. I lied, Brooke. Our night together meant everything to me.”
“Then how could you do it?”
“I’d already committed to leaving, and I had to think about what was best for you,” he said.
At least she was being given a glimpse into his thought process. He, like her, had been young. They’d made mistakes. She thought she knew the real reason he’d left her with no hope, but she needed both the clarity and to hear it from Aiden.
She swallowed hard. “When you texted me during my date, you said you thought you were doing what was right. You couldn’t possibly have meant hurting me was the right thing to do, so explain what it meant.”
“The truth? I knew I’d be in dangerous places and unsure of how often I could return home. You deserved better than to wait around for my occasional visits home. You needed to go on with your life.”
She narrowed her gaze. “What I deserved was the chance to make my own decision, Aiden. And if you respected me at all, you would have let me choose what I wanted instead of breaking my heart!”
“You’re right,” he said, and pulled her into his arms. Burying his face in her neck, he whispered. “I’m so damned sorry.”
“Thank you. I needed to hear that.” She let out a long breath and wrapped her arms around his neck, breathing in the warm, familiar scent of his cologne, and hugging him tight.
They’d come full circle.
She’d expressed her thoughts, feelings, and pain, and he’d acknowledged them and apologized. “Where do we go from here?”
He glanced at her. “I know I want to be with you.”
Her heart beat harder at his words. She couldn’t hold on to anger and hurt forever, not when they’d finally hashed out the past. But there were practicalities too. And she wasn’t ready to jump all in. But didn’t she owe it to herself to give them a chance?
“I don’t know. It’s been five long years since we were together. How do we know it would even work between us?”
Aiden cupped her cheeks, and her skin tingled at the contact. “It’ll work. But you’re right. We do need to get to know each other again.” He pressed his lips to hers but didn’t linger. “Good thing we’ll be living in the same house for a while.”
She smirked and he let out an easy laugh, one that made her feel good about things, at least for now. “Go back to your office and work,” she told him.
If she wanted to leave on time, she had a ton left to do.
He shook his head and grinned. “Yes, ma’am.” He kissed her and it wasn’t nearly long or deep enough.
He walked out and she watched him go, aware that having opened her mind to the possibilities of them , she was in trouble. Time would reveal what happened between them, and she was going to have to live with the uncertainty.
She still couldn’t get it out of her mind for the rest of the day. Had she really just gone out on a date with another man in a useless attempt to forget Aiden? What a pointless experiment that had been.
A knock sounded on her office door and her heart leapt in her chest at the thought that it might be Aiden again. But when she called out for the person to come in, Jared walked into the room.
“Hey, boss.”
“Hey, yourself. What are you still doing here?” he asked, looking at his watch. “It’s late.”
She glanced at the clock on her computer screen, noting it was a little after six p.m. “I could ask you the same thing. Don’t you have a pregnant wife to get home to?”
Jared settled into the same chair Aiden had been sitting in earlier, and rubbed his eyes. “Just trying to get as much work done as possible now. I don’t want to leave a mess for Aiden to deal with while I’m on leave. He’s got a good head for business, but he’s still green.”
“He’ll do fine. If he has questions, he’s surrounded by solid executives who can step in.”
Jared nodded. “I know. It’s just hard to let go of the reins. As difficult as it is to admit, I understand how my father ran himself into the ground doing this job.”
She clasped her hands together on the desk. “Which is why you have to let go more often. You don’t want to end up being like your father health-wise.”
He grinned. “I don’t have to take it under advisement. Charlie won’t let me overdo it. Especially once the baby arrives. But thanks for looking out for me.”
“Of course!” Jared was like family to her. She couldn’t bear to have anything happen to him.
“I saw Aiden earlier and he was in a very good mood. Much better than usual. Would you have anything to do with that shift?” Jared leaned forward. “It goes without saying I’m asking as a friend.”
She flushed but figured Jared sensed more than he let on. “We came to an understanding about the past.”
Jared raised an eyebrow. “Look at you, admitting you two had a past.”
“Shush.” She crumpled a piece of paper into a ball and tossed it at him. Of course, it landed short of hitting him.
Jared grinned. “I don’t need details, but you have to know we’ve all had our theories about what went down.”
She dipped her head. “I wanted to keep it to myself. I convinced him never to talk about it before he took off to see the world.”
Jared studied her for a moment. “I’m sorry he hurt you.”
“Thanks,” she murmured. She didn’t have to guess how he knew. She supposed her being hurt had been the obvious conclusion.
If Aiden wanted to confide in his siblings, it was long past time, but she’d have to tell Fallon first. “I have a favor. Whatever you know, or think you know, let me talk to Fallon before it becomes public?”
Jared nodded in understanding. “I had no intention of spreading gossip around the family. Having been the focus of it after I got Charlie pregnant, I know what it feels like.” He shook his head. “Not fun.”
“Nope.”
He tilted his head to the side. “So, are you two together now?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know what we are. To be honest, he scares me. The need to travel; his love of journalism in a way that may not let him stay in this country. I’m not sure what I can handle.” She wasn’t twenty years old and starry-eyed anymore. Thanks to Aiden, she was more wary, more jaded.
“You know what I think?” Jared asked, then continued before she could respond. “You worry too much.”
Brooke pursed her lips together at the insult. “Is that supposed to be helpful?” she asked, and not in a pleasant way.
“Let me finish,” he said, raising his hands up, palms out.
“I’m just saying, you can get caught up in your own head and that’s definitely what’s happening now.
Try to let things play out. See how you two do and make your decision after you live in reality a little.
But while you’re at it? Have some fun, Brooke. You deserve to enjoy life more.”
She sighed. “You’re right.” She hated to admit it but she did take things too seriously and worry… a lot.
Ever since her dad passed away unexpectedly in a car accident on icy roads, that was what she did. Worry. And though she hadn’t equated the two things before, Aiden leaving had been another tough loss. Everything weighed heavier after that.
She glanced at her boss and friend. “Thanks for stopping by and listening. One of the reasons I kept things quiet was because I didn’t want any of you to feel caught in the middle between us.”
“Don’t worry about that. Ever. We all love you and Aiden. That’s not going to change, no matter what happens.”
Brooke smiled, feeling better. Talking to Jared had been helpful. She needed to live life and worry less. Whatever happened between her and Aiden? She wasn’t in control of fate.