Chapter 7
Clara
How did I feel about there not being a place for me in the family business?
I was hurt. Excluded. I wanted to be involved but I had felt like an outsider.
The Hart family was five boys and one girl.
I was the one who was left out. I pretended it was okay, that I had other interests, but the lingering feeling always remained.
And the realization that there wasn't anything for me when I graduated only intensified all those feelings of unworthiness. Why couldn't I fit in the family? Why did I always feel separated and apart from them?
Whatever my thoughts and feelings were, I wasn't sharing them with Beck.
He'd already gotten more of me than I should have given him.
I wouldn't give him a glimpse into my relationship with my family.
He was a consultant here to judge the viability of our business.
Any information I gave him would be used for that purpose.
I didn't want to hurt my brothers' chances of securing an investment. I may not have liked how it felt to be pushed aside and into my grandmother's shop. But at the end of the day, we were a family, one that stuck together.
"I was just curious about your family."
"We're big and loud and can be a lot at times. If you come from a smaller family, I'm sure it can be overwhelming." I'd heard it all over the years. Some of my friends were only there because of a crush on my brothers, and others genuinely enjoyed the chaos.
"They're different."
"How so?"
"You obviously love each other. The atmosphere at the table was full of affection."
I glanced over at him. His cheeks were red from cold, but his expression was serious. "You got all of that at one dinner?"
He shrugged. "I'm an observer. I take everything in and figure out what it means. It's probably a skill I acquired from evaluating businesses."
I bristled at the idea that he was psychoanalyzing us. "A business is different than people. There's emotions and experiences that have nothing to do with numbers and sales."
He nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry."
I hadn't dated any man who was quick to apologize for his mistakes. "It's okay."
He smiled. "Now tell me about this town."
"It was built for a specific purpose, and it's always been a holiday-themed town.
A few shops were original to the street, like mine.
But others were added over the years. Some of the older shop owners are slower to adapt to new ideas and didn't like it when Natasha and Eve bought the town.
The alternative was someone coming in to cancel our leases, bulldoze the town, and build a resort. It was scary for a while."
"What did the new owners want to do with the town?" he asked as we continued walking, occasionally pausing for him to look at a windows. There was a contest for best display, so the shops had gone all out to capture people's attention.
"Thankfully, they wanted to build on what was already here.
The buildings were aging at that point, so they had a lot of renovations to do at the inn and the shops.
But Eve worked to expand our events to draw in more visitors.
She's always looking for more ways to increase attention to our little town. "
"You come for the skiing or a wedding and stay for the ambiance."
"Exactly. Some people say they come every year."
He nodded. "That's what you want. Repeat customers."
What Eve and Natasha were doing for the town should have been exciting but I felt indifferent. Interestingly enough, I didn't feel that same sense of boredom when I was with Beck.
He was the only thing in my life that got my heart racing and my skin prickling with awareness. By the end of my last relationship, I hadn't felt that. But then again, we'd dated for so long we were more friends than anything else.
I was going through the motions, doing what was expected of me. Even with Beck, I was pushing him away, thinking I couldn't do anything with him because of my brothers. But why did I always have to do what was expected?
Beck had asked some probing questions that had been uncomfortable for me to think about.
But maybe it was good to reexamine my life and figure out if I was happy.
Did I want to be selling ornaments five years from now?
Ten? "We have locals who come for the shops, or the coffee shop and restaurants, and tourists who are here for the experience. We cater to everyone."
"That's a wide base you're aiming for."
"I think you have to when you're talking about sustaining a town for years to come. There are a lot of people who'd be affected if the town shut down."
"It seems like you have everything a real town does: a movie theater, coffee shop, a bakery, a diner."
"The town has only grown bigger over the years."
"Can we go into the bookstore?" He inclined his head toward Belle's Bookshop across the street.
"We still have a few more blocks on this side of the street."
To my surprise, he reached for my hand and tugged me. "Come on."
He ran across the street, and I hurried to keep up with him. When we reached the other side, I was out of breath. "What are you doing?"
"I wanted to see the bookstore," he said with a gleam in his eyes.
"We were getting here," I grumbled.
"Not fast enough." His gaze was on the windows where you could see shelves of books inside. "This place looks great."
"It's a new addition. She even added an outdoor patio and fountain. Not that you can enjoy it now."
He opened the door, and I preceded him inside. I visited Belle here, but I rarely shopped for anything. Reading romance only made me want what I couldn't have. And besides, I had one hot steamy night that should hold me over for a while, right?
He guided me to the blind date with a book table. "What are these? Why are they gift wrapped?"
I picked one up and turned it over. "You pick a genre or a trope, but the book is a surprise. You know, like a beach read or dark romance. You have an idea of what it is but not the exact book. It's supposed to be fun. It's a gift."
He glanced at me. "Have you bought one?"
I laughed. "No."
"Why not?"
"I'm not much into reading right now." I was too tired at the end of the night to engage in a fantasy. My life was very real, and I was okay with that. Giving into impulses meant seeing your one-night stand at the family dinner table the next day, so I was all in on being boring in the future.
He looked at me, the wrapped book tucked against his chest. "But you enjoy reading?"
"I used to." Before real life took over everything else.
"So you might enjoy it again?"
I shrugged. "Maybe."
We kept walking around the tables and through the stacks.
Beck would pick up a book and read the back, then put it down. "I haven't been in a bookstore in a long time."
"For a while, they were closing, but now they seem to be making a comeback. Especially in small towns."
He glanced around. "It's an experience, drinking coffee and perusing books."
"You enjoy reading?" I asked, my voice hushed. We were by ourselves in this row, but I could hear children laughing and playing nearby in the children's section.
He nodded. "I have a lot of downtime in hotels, and I get sick of TV."
"Huh."
He leaned against a nearby shelf. "Does that surprise you?"
"A little. The first time I saw you, you were driving a motorcycle. It didn't exactly scream book nerd," I joked.
"I think it's hard to get to know someone in a few hours, especially when we spent most of that time riding around on my motorcycle and the rest of it in bed," he said it matter-of-factly as if he hadn't outed me in the local bookstore.
My cheeks flushed hot. "My brothers might find out."
He arched one amused brow. "Your brothers come here often?"
I rolled my eyes. "Not that I'm aware of. But it's a small town."
His lips quirked as if he thought worrying about small-town gossip was amusing. "I think we're safe."
I was fairly sure that I wasn't safe from him. I was supposed to be showing him around town, not ducking into bookstores to share an intimate moment in the stacks. What was I thinking? I didn't want to get to know him better. I certainly didn't want a repeat of the other night.
The more time I spent with him, the more my brain was working out ways that this could work.
It would have to remain a secret, something between us.
Is that something I wanted? I wasn't looking for a relationship, so the idea of no commitment was attractive.
When he left town, that would be the end of it, and my brothers would never have to know.
It was an attractive but risky idea. What were the odds that my brothers wouldn't find out? I wasn't ready to take that leap yet. I wasn't even sure if that was something that Beck would want. Maybe he was able to compartmentalize our night and wasn't even thinking about a second.
He leaned in close. "You want to continue the tour?"
My face flushed hotter. "What else did you want to see?"
"Does Belle have any books on the town? I'd love to do more research."
I moved away from him, sucking in air that didn't hold memories of sex. I stopped in front of the display. "Here they are."
I waited while he picked up one book, reading the back, before picking up another. "Do you have a recommendation?"
"I haven't personally read any of them."
Belle approached, her expression curious. "Can I help you with something?"
"I was just looking for something that would give me the local history."
Belle grabbed one. "This is the one I recommend. It has a mix of historic and current information."
"Thanks."
"Are you a tourist, or—" Belle drifted off, clearly looking for an explanation.
"Belle, this is Beck— I don't think I caught your last name."
He held his hand out to her. "Beck Rivers."
"Nice to meet you, Beck."
"He's Malcolm's friend from college."
Belle raised her brow, giving me a look. "Oh, how nice. Are you enjoying your visit so far?"
"Clara is giving me a tour of the town, so I'm in good hands."
I resisted the urge to fan my overheated face. "For some reason, Mom thought I'd be a better tour guide than Malcolm."
"I'm sure Clara's doing a good job. She used to work in the shop when she was a little girl. She knows everything there is to know about this town."
Beck grinned. "You worked with your grandmother when you were little? How sweet."
I made a show of glancing at the time on my phone. "We'd better check out and get back to our tour."
Belle took the two books he was holding.
"Oh, I don't think Beck is getting the blind date with a book."
He grinned. "It's not for me. I'm getting it for you."
Belle flipped the book over to see the information written on the gift wrap. "A steamy romance. Nice choice." She flashed me a grin and led the way to the counter.
Beck smiled at me, and I just sighed. It wasn't the time or place to ask why he'd buy me a romance.
I waited while Belle rung him up and handed me the gifted book with a huge grin. I resisted rolling my eyes. I was positive she'd stop by later this week for an update on what was going on between us.
"You two enjoy the rest of your night," Belle said with a grin.
On the sidewalk, I turned to face him. "What was that? I thought we were supposed to be pretending that nothing is going on between us."
He put his hand on my shoulder and turned me so that we were walking down the sidewalk and not blocking the entrance to the shop. "Nothing is going on between us."
I just gave him a look.
"It was one night."
"Then why did you buy me a romance book?" I asked, refusing to let this go.
He shrugged. "I thought the blind date with a book was a cool idea. I didn't even read the summary."
I scrutinized his expression but couldn't decide if he was telling the truth or not. "Belle thinks something is going on."
He chuckled. "I think she wanted to think something was going on. She would have thought that no matter what happened. She a friend of yours?"
"She used to be," I growled.
"I'm sorry if she gives you a hard time, but I'm confident you can convince her that you want nothing to do with me."
I blew out a breath. "I don't know why Mom thought I should do this."
He grinned. "I have to say, I'm enjoying your company far more than I would have Malcolm's."
"He's your friend."
He leaned in close and said, "But he's not as pretty as you."
I shook my head. "You can't be charming."
He looked at me. "Why? Is it working?"
"Not at all."
He chuckled, putting his arm around me and pulling me against his side. "I like you, Clara."
"I can't imagine why. I live in my grandmother's rancher and work at her store. I don't do anything exciting."
He paused at the door to the pizza parlor. "Now, that's where you're wrong. I find you endlessly fascinating."
Before I could respond, he pulled open the door. "I'm hungry."
I walked inside. "What if I don't want pizza?"
"Would you like to eat somewhere else?"
Now that I was inside the restaurant, the smell of marinara and melted cheese had my stomach growling. "I like pizza."
"Perfect." Then he turned to the hostess. "Table for two please. Booth if you have it."
"Of course." She grabbed two menus. "Right this way."
We followed her to a booth in the corner, away from the arcade games. "Your server will be right with you."
"I don't remember food being part of the deal."
"We're hungry, and it's dinner time." He opened the menu, effectively ending my weak protests.
I wasn't sure what his endgame was, but I felt like I was his prey, and he was toying with me before he ate me whole. Then I thought about what his mouth would feel like on me, and I fanned myself with the menu.
"You okay over there?"
I set the menu aside. "Yeah, I know what I want."
His nose wrinkled. "Don't tell me you're a salad person."
I scoffed. "Pizza."
"Good girl." He flashed me a grin, which did funny things to my chest. "I usually get the margarita. Want to share?"
I nodded slowly, not quite believing how this evening was going. "That's my favorite too."
He grinned, setting his menu aside. "This is working out perfectly."
I tipped my head to the side, considering him. "You had a plan for the night?"
"I didn't know what to expect. I surprised you at your parents, and I know you aren't happy with the tour."
"I think it's best if we don't spend any time together," I said, even as my heart squeezed in protest.
His brow furrowed. "Is that what you think?"
I leaned closer and lowered my voice. "You're my brother's friend and possibly future business partner. How do you think he'd react?"
He looked away. "I'm guessing not great. And I don't want to ruin our friendship."
"Then this is the last time we can be seen together."
The waitress approached. "What can I get you?"
Beck ordered, and I wondered if he was playing with me or if he really wanted something to happen between us.