Chapter 10 #2
I remained silent because now wasn't the time to push for Rowan's idea.
I'd do my research and present it the next time we met.
Malcolm needed concrete information and numbers before he changed his mind.
And I'd have to think about whether I wanted to make my involvement contingent on the beer bath.
It was a great idea. One I could get excited about.
Another brewery was safe. Boring even. But the beer bath combined with the options for families was a next-level business idea.
And I thrived on those. Taking risks and going big.
But the Harts might not be ready for that kind of expansion.
Family businesses were different beasts.
I avoided them for this very reason. There were dynamics I couldn't begin to understand.
Especially since my family was nothing like the Harts.
My siblings and I were in and out of foster care, the system geared toward family reunification even when the parents were addicts.
I'd loved our first foster family. They wanted to adopt us, but the system had a different plan.
Return us to our parents and start the cycle all over again.
My parents hung on just tight enough and completed enough of the system's requirements never to have their rights terminated.
When I was old enough, I petitioned the court to get custody of my two younger siblings.
When they graduated high school and were in college, I took my business global, going wherever I was needed.
I didn't have a home base, and I didn't want one.
Whatever was happening with Clara had an end date. There was no chance of something permanent. I wasn't sure I could handle something like that anyway. Other than my siblings, nothing was constant in my life.
I should feel lucky that I could go and do whatever I wanted.
I checked in with my siblings and sent money when they needed it, but I didn't feel pressure to make us a family.
They were free to go home with their friends on holidays, and I was by myself.
It was what I preferred. My siblings didn't need me anymore.
They probably wanted to forget about their past. So I shouldn't feel any sort of way about how the Harts interacted. It wasn't jealousy I felt; it was irritation that they had so many people who had to agree to do anything. It was frustrating and hindered any hope of progress.
I didn't want what they had.
"I have people to serve," Rowan said, moving down the bar to help a couple of guys get drinks.
Callum stood. "I'll relieve Dad and cover the restaurant. You stay and talk to Beck."
"Thanks for coming," I said to Callum.
"Thanks for listening to us bicker. I'm sure you want to catch the next flight out of here."
I chuckled. "Something like that."
Callum inclined his head toward me. "I appreciate you helping us out. Even if you don't invest, your advice has been invaluable."
That compliment hit me square in the chest. "Thanks."
Callum shook my hand and then made his way through the crowd to the hostess stand where he checked in with the girls standing there.
Malcolm moved one stool over so that we were seated next to each other. "When are you going to settle in one place?"
My gaze swung to him. "I don't have any plans to settle down. The job takes me where it takes me."
"So you've said." He tipped his glass to his lips. "I just wonder if you see things changing anytime soon."
I frowned. "No."
" Clara took you on a tour. I thought you might be interested in putting down roots."
I shook my head. "Your mother insisted on it, and that was research into the community for your expansion.”
"I see."
"I'm sorry if I made you think that I wanted to settle here. I like it, but I prefer the city life."
"You should go hiking while you're here. See what else there is to do here.”
"I can do that." I was eager to ease this rift between us. Malcolm loved his home town and wanted me to like it too. So much so that I would move here. That was a crazy idea for a man like me, but then again, Malcolm didn't know my backstory. "I don't talk much about my background—"
Malcolm kept his gaze on the bar top, which gave me the space to keep talking.
"My parents weren't great. They were too addicted to alcohol to want to take care of us. CPS stepped in numerous times, but they always returned us to them."
"I'm sorry, man."
I held up my hand. "I'm not telling you this to feel sorry for me. I just want you to understand that family and a home base don't mean anything to me."
"I thought you had a younger brother and a sister?"
"As soon as I was financially able, I petitioned the court to take care of them. I just needed to get them through high school and into college. They took out loans, and I worked hard to expand the business so I could support them.”
"You took care of your siblings. That's something."
I shrugged. "It didn't make up for the way we were raised."
"And you think this means that you were destined to move from one place to another, not settling in?"
"I have one sibling in California and the other in Massachusetts. There's not a reason to settle in any one place."
"And your parents?"
"I don't keep in touch. They never forgave me for gaining custody. I get that addiction is a disease, but I don't think I can forgive them for never getting enough help to parent us. And if you can't be a parent, let someone else do the job."
"You didn't have to tell me this, but I'm glad you did."
I wanted him to understand why settling here wasn't a possibility for me. His pity was the last thing I needed. "I'm motivated to not be like my parents.
"You're loyal. Hardworking. I don't think you're anything like your parents."
"Now you know why I can't settle down," I said feeling pleased with myself that he would understand why it was impossible.
He gave me a dubious look. "Not really."
I could list all the reasons why I didn't have a home base and why I didn't want one. Why couldn't he see it?