Chapter Two #2
I blink. He’s taken me by surprise. “I can’t,” I say, the words automatically coming out of my mouth. Getting to know this man could only lead to heartbreak. I know it just by seeing him again.
“Why not? Do you have a husband? A boyfriend?” His jade-green eyes bore into mine. “Because your Facebook page didn’t mention a relationship.”
I’m certain his persistence helped him succeed in the hard-to-make-it-to-the-top music world. “No, no relationship. I’m just … busy.”
“No, you are not,” my mother says.
I was aware of my mom watching us, looking back and forth like at a tennis match. “You don’t know my schedule,” I snap.
My mother ignores me and picks up one of my business cards, then a pen, writes something on the card, and holds it out to Axel. “Here. Her address and cell phone number.”
He doesn’t accept it, and his gaze remains steady on mine. “If you really don’t want to go out with me, I get it. Too much time has passed, too much water under the bridge.” He shrugs, but disappointment is clear in his expression and hunched shoulders.
His very real desire to see me again tugs at me, causing a heavy pain in my chest. Because I do want to have dinner with him. Catch up. Learn about his life. I just don’t want to open myself up to heartbreak.
“Actually, I do want to go out with you.”
He releases the tension he’d been holding and relaxes, straightening his shoulders, a wide smile on his handsome face. “Great.”
I snatch the card from my mom’s hand and pass it over.
Axel accepts it this time. “I’ll pick you up at seven.” He glances at the dog, who has been so good while sitting at his side. “It’ll just be us. Bella has a seven-p.m. curfew,” he says with a grin. “Come on,” he says, and the dog, as if she belongs to him, follows him out.
I wait until the door shuts behind him before turning on my mother. “What is wrong with you?” I never saw my mother act so pushy, so insistent … so over the top!
Mom looks at me, disappointment in her gaze. “You were always such a bright girl. So smart. Yet here you are, turning down a date with the only man you’ve ever loved. Why?”
Oh, for God’s sake. I do not want to have this conversation. “Because Axel and I don’t make sense, that’s why!”
“What doesn’t? Dating? Relationships? Good sex? Giving me grandchildren?”
“Mom!” I’m as horrified as I am grateful we are alone and nobody is in the waiting room. I have no doubt the vet techs in the back are having a field day with this entire conversation.
“What? Somebody has to tell it like it is! Now, please explain to me why you and that handsome man don’t make sense in that bright mind of yours?” My mother sounds both concerned and exasperated.
I don’t like this talk any more than my mom does. “When you take away emotions and feelings, everything else about us has always been wrong. Geography, for starters.”
“He lives in town, Tara.”
“When he’s in the studio and making music, maybe. Afterwards, he spends eight months or more on tour. Sometimes in the US and other times around the world.” And that isn’t the kind of relationship I want.
I want what I had growing up. A husband at home with me and our kids.
A normal life. The kind I lost when my dad died.
But I won’t say that to my mother. Marsha tried so hard to blend the family, and it isn’t her fault I always feel separated from them all.
They try, but it’s like I have this wall around me I can’t let them get beyond.
And if I allow myself to fall for Axel again, I fear I’ll always be the outsider in his lifestyle, ultimately left behind.
“Honey, you’re so afraid of being hurt and abandoned, like you were when your dad died, that you’ve closed yourself off completely.”
Read my mind, why don’t you, I think. My mom has always known me well.
My mother puts a hand on top of mine. “No man will ever meet whatever criteria you’re holding out for, and the one you really want is back, yet you’re too afraid to give him a chance.”
A lump rises in my throat, making me unable to speak.
“Just promise me you’ll give Axel a chance?” my mother asks, her eyes damp.
I sigh. “Okay. Anything to get you to take a step back and let me think things through.” I smile to take away the sting of her words, and it works.
My mom grins, then pulls me into a hug, happy with my agreement to try. And since I agreed to a date with Axel, clearly, I am going to do just that.
* * *
Axel
I stride out of the vet offices, whistling as I walk, Bella trotting by my side.
“Good job,” I say to the pup as I load her into the passenger seat and take my place behind the wheel. “You deserve a treat for being so perfect,” I tell her.
After starting up the car, I head for the coffee shop in town, all the while thinking about my first glimpse of Tara.
As a man surrounded by women whenever I travel, I’m familiar with beautiful females.
Not to lump them into one category, but those I see in the concert arena tried too hard to make themselves noticeable.
Pushed-up breasts, brightly colored hair, skimpy clothes, too-high heels.
Did I screw around with them? Yeah, of course. I have needs. But was I ever interested in any of them long-term? That would be a big hell, no. Because none of them were real.
Tara is a breath of fresh air. She always was.
From her natural wavy hair that falls like silk over her shoulders to her nearly makeup-free face and those lips I want to kiss again, she is exactly what I’ve been missing.
Even if her mother twisted her arm to go out with me, I’m pleased with our first meeting in years.
After giving Bella her treat, I return to Xander’s and let myself in the side door of the pool gate and take a seat outside.
A few minutes later, the sliding glass door opens, and my host steps outside.
“Dog returned before her curfew,” I say, gesturing to the golden lying by my side on the grass.
“And you stayed?” Xander steps over and glances down at the dog. “What’s on Bella’s nose?”
“I got her a pup cup as a reward for being such a good girl.” I lower my hand to pet her soft head.
“So the trip was successful?”
I grin. “Got a date at seven tonight.” And I plan to do my best to charm Tara and get to know her again.
Xander nods. “Good! You should go get ready.” He tips his head toward the gate I came through.
“Nah. I’ve got plenty of time.” I straighten my legs on the lounge and settle in.
“You could just … go anyway.”
“Are you throwing me out? Is that what you used to do to Dash?” Before the lead singer became involved with Cassidy and stopped coming by as often for company.
Xander opens his mouth, but before he can answer, the door to the house slides open again, and Sasha walks out, two large, cold drinks in her hands.
“Hi, guys. I thought you might want some iced tea.” She hands each of us a glass. “How was your … excursion with Bella?” she asks.
“He got himself a date tonight,” Xander replies.
“Really? That’s great. Who is she?” Sasha asks, folding her arms across her chest.
“Umm, about that…” I meet her gaze. “Turns out she’s your vet.”
“Dr. Stillman?” Xander asks.
“Tara?” Sasha asks at the same time.
Just hearing her name has me smiling. “We were together in high school, and we broke up after graduation. I went to do my thing in LA and audition with bands, and she went to college in New York.”
“And she stayed,” Sasha says, sitting down on the edge of my chair, her interest in our history obviously piqued.
“That wasn’t her plan. She always wanted to go into her dad’s practice outside LA, but I found out today he passed away not long after I left.”
I sober at the thought, knowing she was probably dealing with our breakup at the time of her father’s death. I didn’t know. We agreed not to keep in touch because we knew it would be too hard.
“And you both ended up not just on the East Coast but here in East Hampton,” Sasha muses. “Talk about fate.”
I fucking hope so.