Chapter 40
40
Kieran
The shop had been busier than normal that morning, and I hadn’t had time to call my mentor back until after the morning rush. “Kieran,” he said, his voice low and rumbling when he picked up the call. I imagined him in his office in front of the wall of textbooks, many of which he’d authored. “How is your grandfather?”
“He’s doing well,” I said, settling in the office chair with the bustle of the shop on the other side of the door. I heard Granddad talking to customers from his perch behind the register. “You heard I’d requested another deferral?”
“I did.” He was quiet for a moment, the way he let something hang in the air, waiting for a student to fill in the open space. He was deliberative, intentional, and methodical in medicine and with people. He was the kind of doctor I wanted to be, but I did know this trick, so I waited for him to speak again. “Are you sure you want to do that? You’re already a year behind. A deferral would mean two years, and we don’t often approve that.”
I’d known that was coming when he’d emailed asking me to call him. I’d felt good making the call to request it, and then I’d shown up to the zoo and talked to Sybil, and it all felt right. It wasn’t until the email from Dr. Wagstaff that the inkling of doubt crept in, because since starting school, he was the kind of man I longed to be. Respected, settled, set financially, and a groundbreaking researcher. Through the cracked door, I heard Sybil laugh with Granddad. No matter the doubt that had crept in, that was why I was doing this. I wanted more time to get the shop successful, and I wanted more time with her. “I’m sure.” I watched Sybil cut through the kitchen and held up a finger as she entered to indicate I was on the phone. “I want to be a doctor. I’ve been working toward it my whole life, and I think I’ll be a good one.”
She leaned against the door frame and gave me a supportive smile.
“I just need more time to make sure I can focus when I’m back.”
Dr. Wagstaff sighed. “You will be a good physician, Kieran. I just want to make sure you know what you’re risking. And to make sure this is what you really want, both the deferral and the career.”
His question took me aback, and my response was knee-jerk. “I promise, that’s not it at all.” That same question had gnawed at me since Sybil asked me something similar at the cabin, but it was too late. I’d spent too long working too hard to change my plan now.
Sybil pulled two donuts from behind her and set one on the desk in front of me on a napkin. They were the same ones she’d made under Granddad’s supervision early that morning. She’d been too excited to wait for me to come downstairs and flagged me down while I was taking out Mrs. Nguyen’s dog to show them off. I grinned and swiped a finger along the side of the donut, taking a lick of the chocolate icing. “And I know the risks of the request,” I said into the phone. “I know it’s not guaranteed, and if they turn it down, I’ll figure it out for fall, but I think this is important. I hope you understand.”
We said a friendly goodbye, and he promised to advocate for me with the committee before we hung up.
“Who was that?” Sybil slid onto my lap, a crumb from her own donut falling on her chest.
“You dropped this,” I said, dipping to kiss the spot below her collarbone where the crumb had landed. “So messy sometimes.”
She giggled, and I moved my hand lower down her back. “You like me messy.”
“I do,” I said, shifting my lips to her neck. “A beautiful mess.”
“Your granddad is right on the other side of the door,” she groaned when my hand slid lower and I dragged my lips across the shell of her ear.
“He was in the other room last night,” I said, squeezing one of her cheeks. “You didn’t mind then.”
“I only came in here to bring you a donut,” she said, twisting her neck to catch my lips in a quick, sweet peck. “Hold that thought for later.”
I grudgingly lifted the treat to my mouth. She said she’d started looking into recipes and fallen down a rabbit hole of ideas. This one was flavored with cardamom and honey, and it was good. “Delicious,” I said, kissing her again and leaving little bits of sugar on her lips.
“Who was on the phone?”
“My mentor at school. He wanted to make sure I was certain about requesting the deferral. That I knew the risks.”
Sybil tensed on my lap. “What risks?”
I made circles on her lower back. “Well, deferrals are rarely approved—mine was a special case the first time, so there’s a chance they could say no and I’d have to enroll this fall or drop out.”
“No!” Sybil tried to slide off my lap, but I held her against me. “You can’t drop out.”
“I’m not,” I said. “And Dr. Wagstaff will advocate for me. He has a lot of pull.”
“Kieran, you never said it was that risky. You can’t do this.” She studied my face intently.
“I want to. I do think Granddad could use a little more time before he takes things over fully, and I don’t want to leave you.”
“What if I’m not worth it, though?”
The look on her face when she said it sent a pin into my heart. “You are.” I kissed her but let her slide off my lap this time when we parted. She liked to move while she thought through things, and my resolve strengthened knowing I knew that about her. “And worst case, I’ll have to go back to Texas in September and we do long distance, but if there’s a chance for us to have more time here together, I want to take it.” I held out my hand, and she dropped her fingers alongside mine. “You’re rubbing off on me. It’s worth taking a chance on luck, right?”
She smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “But there’s a chance they could approve it, right?”
I nodded. “Definitely.”
“Because you said it yourself, you want to be a doctor. That’s always been your goal. You’re not putting that in jeopardy for me, are you?”
“It is the goal.” I kissed the tops of her fingers. “But why not push my luck? I’m a good guy…maybe I can have my donut and eat it, too.”
“I guess,” she said, watching me take a bite. When I groaned—an honest groan because the flavor combination really was good—she grinned. “You really like it?”
“I do. And I really like you.” I pulled her in for another kiss and paused when our lips were a breath away. “If they say no, I’ll try to bribe them with these donuts.”
With a woman who tasted like sugar and honey and was choosing me, I was pretty sure luck would be on my side.