21. Hallie
CHAPTER 21
HALLIE
My mind has been spinning in an angry rage ever since I left James at the archery range, and as I shove the hotel room door open, it slams hard into the wall. Looking hesitantly into the room, I’m relieved to find that the door stop prevented any damage. I shut the door softly, trying to control my anger, though my entire body is still flushed with heat. I can’t believe I’ve been so desperate for a romantic connection that I let myself forget for even a second who James Cole really is. This is on me, I admit that, but I refuse to let myself get fooled again. My guard is back up now, and I plan to keep it that way.
Maybe it’s a little bit James’s fault too, though. He really knows how to dial up the charm to get what he wants, and he’s been making innuendos about getting me into bed the entire time I’ve known him. I don’t have any way of proving it, but I’m starting to wonder if he moved the pillows from my dividing wall, making it easier for me to roll towards him in my sleep. It sounds a little crazy, but I wouldn’t put it past him. Maybe he’s been gaslighting me all day.
Okay, now you sound desperate and insane, I think to myself as I look into the mirror over the dresser. I look a little insane, too, my cheeks red and hair a bit wild from practically running back to the lodge. With a grunt of frustration, I open a drawer and pull out a pair of leggings and an oversized sweater, changing in the middle of the room while keeping an eye on the door, just in case.
Maybe James wasn’t intentionally trying to trick me into sleeping with him, but he’s been extremely smooth over the last couple of days, playing me like a fiddle. He knows that I’ll do almost anything for this promotion, and he’s been using this favor to his advantage. But now that I have my head on straight again, I’ll be resistant to his charm offensive. I can’t let myself get swept away by him, not even for a second. The man is so good at getting women to swoon over him that he even somehow made it seem like each moment we’ve had together has been completely mutual. It’s all felt so real to me, and that kiss today felt like it meant something to him, too. But it’s just part of the game he plays, convincing women that he feels something true when really, he’s only thinking about one thing.
Once I’m dressed, I go into the bathroom to brush my hair and put on some makeup—not for James, but for myself. I need a confidence boost so I can refocus on my priorities—getting the promotion and helping my family. I need to impress the Winter brothers by being the perfect person for the job, not by having a boyfriend. They have to be able to see me in the sales director position—someone who is capable, respected, successful, and a good leader. I can do all that without James Cole by my side. In fact, he only made me look bad this morning on the ropes course, refusing to listen to me on the first obstacle. Having James here is only to prove a point that I can be family oriented and that I can fit in with the company culture. Everything else is up to me.
I take a step back from the mirror, much happier with the way I look. The reflection I see is a woman who looks composed and capable, not someone who let herself get emotional over some skanky guy. As I go back into the bedroom, I’m not only feeling better, but I’m actually glad that everything with James happened today. It knocked some sense back into me, sense that I badly needed. From now on, I’m not going to let myself think about James in any way except as the means to an end. When this week is over, we’ll go back to being neighbors who barely speak to each other.
Sitting down at the table in the corner, I’m just opening my laptop when my phone starts to ring. I reach for it immediately, seeing my sister’s name pop up on the screen.
“Hey Sadie,” I answer. “Is everything okay?”
“Some of the people in town are putting together a big send-off party for the camp,” Sadie replies, getting to the point right away. “You should come.”
“A send off?” I ask in disbelief. “But we don’t know what?—”
“Hallie, be real,” Sadie interrupts. “I know you are still hopeful, but we all know how this is going to go.”
“No, we don’t,” I reply firmly. “I’m going to get the money, and we are going to be able to hold on to the camp.”
“Even Dad is accepting it. You should, too.”
“Well, Dad can accept whatever he wants—you all can,” I tell my sister as I start to get choked up. “I’m not giving up. This is too important. I am going to get this promotion, and the bonus, and that will give us more than half of what we need.”
“What about the other half?” Sadie points out. “Even if you get the promotion, where are we getting the rest of the money? Believe me, if anyone knows about not giving up, it’s me, but?—”
“You’re the one who taught me to persevere, even when things get hard,” I agree.
“ But ,” Sadie continues, “there comes a time when you have to face reality. I love you so much and I appreciate what you’ve been trying to do, but maybe it’s time for us to let go and celebrate all the good that we did over the years. Come to the party. I’ll send you the details.”
“No,” I reply, shaking my head. “I’m sorry, but I’m not ready to do that. Don’t give up, Sadie, because I’m not.”
After returning a few important emails, I spend the rest of the afternoon combing through my bank accounts, my retirement account, and my general finances, seeing where I can pinch more pennies or move money around. When I don’t come up with nearly enough, I start researching loan options, wishing I had bought a house years ago when the interest rates were low so I could get some kind of home equity credit line. There’s not much available to me right now, but it looks like if I get the bump in salary, I’d be eligible for a much larger loan. With that, my bonus, and maybe an advance on a few paychecks, I could have just enough to give my parents the money they need. I know I can pull it off, but everything hinges on the promotion.
I’m still staring at a spreadsheet, wondering if maybe one of the Winter brothers would cosign a loan for me if I don’t get the promotion, when my alarm goes off on my phone, reminding me that I need to start getting ready for dinner. My heart is still heavy, wanting to find a way to make the math work in my favor, but I reluctantly close my laptop, knowing this dinner is another chance for me to prove myself to my bosses. I can’t take that lightly.
Getting up from the table, I glance at the door, wondering where James is. I know I made it crystal clear that I didn’t want to be around him, but he knows what time dinner is and that it’s business casual attire. Where has he been all this time, anyway? And has he been thinking about me?
“Stop it, stop it, stop it,” I hiss at myself. I cannot get sucked back into his orbit. Everything we are doing is a ruse, it’s all pretend, none of it is real. I can’t allow myself to forget that again, not even for a second.
I’m dressed for dinner and taking out a pair of earrings from my jewelry case when I hear the lock click and the door slowly starts to open.
“Are you decent?” James asks.
“Yes,” I reply with a deep inhale.
He walks into the room slowly, closing the door behind him.
“You need to get ready for dinner,” I tell him, keeping things all-business. “Slacks and a collared shirt are fine. No tie. I think there’s a thing outside afterwards, so maybe a sports coat.”
“Hallie, we need to talk.”
I put my earrings in, looking into the mirror and refusing to even glance in James’s direction.
“We can talk later, once we get through dinner,” I murmur.
“I want to say something now,” James tells me.
“You don’t need to,” I say, picking out a necklace. “I let myself get carried away; it won’t happen again. I’m fine. I know why I’m here; I won’t get distracted.”
“Hallie,” James says softly, moving towards me. I can smell the musk of his deodorant working to cover the smell of sweat on his skin. “You were right, I have been the guy you think I am. But that’s not necessarily who I want to be.”
Unable to stop myself, I look up and find myself staring directly into James’s face. His expression is sincere, pained even. This isn’t real, I try to tell myself, but every instinct inside of me is telling me that it is. This isn’t James being charming. This is him being open and honest. This is real. Just like that kiss was real?
I take a sharp breath in, slamming on the breaks and refusing to get pulled in.
“We need to go,” I tell him. “We’re going to be late for dinner.”
Miraculously, the seating assignments at dinner separates the couples to facilitate group bonding among coworkers. It doesn’t really matter to me what the reasoning is, as long as it gives me a reprieve from being with James for a couple of hours. We’re still at the same table, but he’s down the other end next to Mira, Tom from IT’s wife, and Marlon, the marketing director. For three delicious courses, I can focus on showing off in front of Scott Winter by engaging with the coworkers and guests around me, asking interesting questions, demonstrating that I’m a good listener, while also bringing people into the conversation so no one is left out. It’s both contrived and completely natural and I catch Scott smiling at me appreciatively as I ask one of the sales interns if they would like to join me in a meeting when we get back to California.
After dinner, the group is invited outside to a campfire the ranch staff has ready for us—a huge roaring fire in a stone pit with cozy chairs set all around it. There are s'mores stations around the perimeter of the chairs and baskets filled with fuzzy blankets. Hanging over the patio are twinkling lights that make the scene picture perfect, and it’s perfect because it involves more mingling instead of being alone with James.
All night, I’ve been dreading what happens when it’s just the two of us later on. When we’re in the crowd, surrounded by the rest of the group, anything between us is definitely for show. But once we’re alone and there’s no need to pretend, that’s when the lines start to blur. I feel so confused, wondering who is the real James Cole? Is he the player I’ve lived next door to, the guy who brings random women home from the bar at night and then shows them to the door first thing in the morning? The guy who sees a rodeo cowboy with three women hanging all over him and comments that the guy could probably have all of them at once? Or is he the caring and sincere man I’ve been getting to know the past couple of days? I have no idea, and I don’t trust myself or my emotions right now. The more time I can avoid spending alone with him, the better.
I don’t see James as I make my way outside, so I take a seat next to the fire. Annette and Chase sit next to me, mostly so Chase can remind me that James owes him a drink.
“You did a great job at the archery range,” I say to Annette, trying to keep things civilized while the Winter brothers are within earshot. “Have you ever shot a bow and arrow before?”
“No, this was a first for me,” she replies. “I think with a little practice I might be able to improve my aim.”
“I don’t doubt it,” I tell her. “I might be a lost cause, though.”
“Oh, you weren’t so bad,” Annette says kindly.I raise my eyebrows at her, and she starts to laugh, nodding her head. “Okay, you were pretty bad!”
“I know,” I laugh with her. “But that’s okay.”
“Ah, there he is,” Chase says, and I turn to see James making his way towards us. “I thought maybe you went to bed early to get out of paying up on your bet, James.”
“Don’t worry, I didn’t forget,” James laughs good naturedly. “I was just getting the ladies some blankets.”
James hands a blanket to me and one to Annette, who looks highly impressed by the gesture.
“Wow, that’s so thoughtful,” she says. “Thank you.”
“What are you trying to do, make me look bad?” Chase laughs, trying to make a joke, though it’s clear he’s not happy.
“I don’t have to try that hard,” James says with a wink. “Now, what can I get you to drink?”
James heads to the bar and returns with a whiskey sour for Chase, glasses of wine for me and Annette, and a beer for himself. One of the ranch staff members starts to play a guitar and the group sings along as we make s’mores and enjoy a night under the stars. As I’m trying to remember the words to “Tiny Dancer” by Elton John, James puts his arm around me, pulling me close to him. As much as I want to pull away, I share my blanket with him, draping it over both of our laps to keep up the act.
“James, did I overhear you talking about sailing at dinner?” Scott asks as he takes a seat nearby.
“Yes, I used to sail all the time growing up,” James confirms. “Do you sail?”
“I do,” Scott nods. “I’m always looking for people to go out with. Once we’re back home, Sara and I would love for you to come out on the boat with us.”
“That sounds great; we’d love that,” James replies, putting his arm around my shoulder.
“That would be fun, thank you, Scott,” I add, though I know it’s a date that will never happen. James and I won’t be extending the performance once we’re back home, which makes me wonder how long I can keep up with this pretend relationship. Once I get the promotion, I’m going to have to figure out a way to phase James out.
While James and Scott talk about sailing, Chase leans over towards me, his eyebrows slightly lifted.
“You look worried, Evans.”
“Why would I be worried?” I scoff.
“I don’t know,” Chase shrugs. “You tell me.”
He stares at me for a second, making me nervous that he still doesn’t believe that James and I are a couple. He’s been out to get me this whole time and if he can prove I’ve been lying about my relationship, I know he won’t hesitate in using the information against me. Even if being in a solid relationship isn’t part of the criteria to get the promotion, the fact that I’m pretending to be in one, and that I’ve been lying to my bosses’ faces, could not just cost me the promotion, but also my job.
As the guitarist takes a break, Dakota Blake stands up on the other side of the fire and starts to tell the story of how her great-grandfather first settled on this land and decided to build a ranch.
“My great-grandfather was also an old rodeo rider,” she adds. “He was a legend, the best of the best, and now my brother Wes is following in his footsteps. If you get the chance while you’re here, you don’t want to miss seeing him ride the bull. Trust me—he’s amazing.”
“Well, she sold me on it,” Chase says, turning to me and James. “Care to join us tomorrow night?”
As much as I want to say no—the idea of pretending to be in a relationship with James while Chase scrutinizes my every move isn’t exactly what I’d call a good time—I know I’ve got to continue playing the game. Chase is obviously still suspicious, and I can’t give him any reason to vocalize his doubts with the Winters.
“Sure, we’d love to,” I smile. “Right honey?”
“Sounds fun,” James nods.
As the night winds down, James and I head back into the lodge, dropping the act as soon as we’re alone in our room.
“We are going to have to really be at our best tomorrow night,” I sigh as I take off my jewelry. “Chase is still suspicious, and I can tell he’s just waiting for us to slip up so he can out me to the Winter brothers.”
“Then we can’t let that happen,” James says with a nod.
I catch his eye in the mirror, holding his gaze for a moment.
“As long as we keep things as just pretend,” I remind him.
“Yeah, I got that Hallie,” he replies. “You have nothing to worry about.”
I can feel the excitement of the crowd the second we step out of the shuttle bus at the rodeo. The lights are bright around the ring and the air is filled with the smells of popcorn, hot dogs, and thick, salty pretzels. I didn’t know what to expect at a rodeo, but it feels like going to see a minor league baseball game with my family when I was little.
“Do you want anything to eat?” James asks, taking my hand as we follow the rest of the group to our seats.
“No, I’m good,” I reply. “Thanks.”
I managed to spend as little time with James as possible during the day, getting up early and going to the gym, then grabbing a quick coffee as I walked around the property for a little while. We had lunch with Jasmine and Ricardo and while I was able to let my guard down a little bit, it’s hard not to be conscious of who else might be nearby. I wasn’t looking forward to the cheese making class when I found out that Clay and his wife would be there, too, but it was actually a lot of fun. I managed to lose myself in the instruction, learning about the different cheeses we were tasting and then getting to make my own ball of mozzarella, all while remembering to be romantic with James whenever the opportunity arose. Even though I managed to stay strong and not get pulled in by James during the class, I still appreciate that he went above and beyond not only to act like my boyfriend, but to make the whole experience really enjoyable.
“Hey, thanks again for arranging the cheese class,” I say to him as we walk up the arena stairs together. “That was a lot of fun.”
“My pleasure,” he says softly, giving me a smile before leaning in to kiss me.
I feel my eyes dart around, wondering why he’s being randomly affectionate, and out of my peripheral vision I see Chase staring at us. Closing my eyes, I loop one arm around James's neck, pulling him closer.
"Hey—you’re holding up the line,” Chase calls impatiently.
“Sorry, just got a little carried away,” I say with a grin, making my way down the row to our seats.
“Leave them alone,” I hear Annette reprimand her husband. “I think it’s sweet.”
The rodeo begins with some of the lesser known riders, saving Wes Blake, the main attraction, for last. As we watch the show, Chase turns to James with a smile that is anything but friendly.
“Oh, I just remembered,” he says, though it’s obvious he’s been waiting for the right moment to say whatever it is he wants to tell James. “I spoke to a friend who went to Cal at the same time as you and it’s funny, he never heard of a James Cole.”
“Jesus, Chase,” I sigh, rolling my eyes. “There are thousands of students at Cal. Not everyone knows everyone else.”
I don’t know what Chase was trying to prove with his comment, but when I glance over at James, I notice him shift uncomfortably in his seat.
“Woo!” Jasmine suddenly starts to scream, standing up and clapping loudly. “Woooo!”
Coming into the ring is Wes Blake, the hot bull rider we saw yesterday on the ranch. The whole crowd goes wild with applause, everyone jumping to their feet.
“You okay with that?” Chase says to Ricardo, who laughs and nods.
“Are you kidding? We had the most amazing afternoon yesterday after she saw that guy. I’m going to be wearing a cowboy hat more often.”
“Maybe you should give it a try, Chase,” I tease him.
“I don’t think that’s Chase’s thing,” Annette pipes in.
I look over, expecting Annette to be laughing, but instead she has a serious, unamused expression on her face. Chase just glowers without acknowledging the comment and I can feel a chill of tension in the air, making me wonder if Chase’s marriage is really as perfect as he wants everyone to believe.
“Let’s go get some beer,” Jasmine says to me. “I’m getting tipsy tonight!”
“You’re a lucky man,” James jokes with Ricardo.
As we’re waiting in line, Jasmine turns to me with a raised eyebrow, and I realize that the beer was just an excuse for her to grill me.
“What’s going on between you and James?’ she asks. “I thought you were going to go for it, but something’s different between you today.”
“It’s nothing,” I quickly cover. “I just realized that I need to focus on why I’m here. I have to get the promotion. I can’t cloud my head by getting involved with such a confusing guy.”
“Confusing how?” Jasmine asks as we shuffle forward in line.
I let out a long exhale, unsure of how to describe it.
“I feel like I’m dealing with two different people and I’m not sure which one is the real him,” I finally tell her.
“Maybe you need to let yourself find out,” Jas suggests.
I shake my head defiantly, knowing that’s not what I’m here for.
“I have to help my parents. That’s my focus—not James Cole.”