12. Goldyn
It would have been so easy to get wrapped up in Sincere and Enzo after breakfast, but I had to force myself away. I needed to think about what they asked me and I needed to do it away from their distracting energy.
Especially when Lorenzo came downstairs shortly after Sincere started cooking with a sinful smirk on his face. Like he knew what happened before his arrival. After he hugged Sincere from behind and dropped a kiss on his shoulder, he walked over to me, kissed the corner of my mouth and said, “Good morning, Goldy” in a throaty voice still thick with sleep. That had been enough to make me want to hop up on that counter and go for round two. This time with Sincere watching as his husband made me come. Would that turn him on? Would he watch if he knew it turned me on?
What would it be like to be shared by two men?
I’d read enough romance books and Reddit posts not to be scandalized by the idea, but reading it and living it were two different things.
Just the thought made heat pool at my center and I was thankful I’d put on panties today. I usually went commando unless I was on my period, but something about the way today started told me I needed an extra barrier between me and my favorite sundress.
Shivers skittered over my skin and palpitations had me clutching my chest.
I needed to remember I was in public and anybody could walk by and see me squirming right now. Mortified by the idea alone, I fanned my face and stared out of the window at my van in the parking lot.
If you agree to this, I’d feel better if you lived with us.
Sincere wanted me to move in with them. And Lorenzo hadn’t objected.
Could I move in with a house full of men for ninety days?
The better question was: could I endure ninety days knowing it was coming to an end?
On the one hand, I could agree to being theirs and have the best summer of my life.
On the other, I could keep existing as I was and never know what could have been.
So what if they only wanted three months? Wasn’t it better to experience something great briefly than not at all?
Because I had a feeling it would be great. There was no doubt in my mind actually. The way Sincere and Lorenzo catered to each other let me know I would be well taken care of. Didn’t I deserve that too? At least for a little while?
It’d been so long since I’d opened myself up to the possibility of dating anyone that I didn’t know how to do it anymore.
The two years I traveled and danced on the road, I’d stayed single because life was easier that way. I didn’t have to consider anybody’s feelings when I dropped off the map for days or think about how they’d feel about me dancing for a room full of strangers every other night. It kept life simple, but lonely as hell.
And now I could dip my toe back into the dating pool with two of the finest men I’d ever seen. Maybe that would be enough to revive my desire to make it work with someone else in the future.
My phone buzzed and I smiled when I saw Sincere’s name.
He’d saved his number for me before I left, making me promise to call him for anything I needed. I mostly suspected it was so he could have a way to contact me if I ghosted them.
Tapping the message notification, I read his text.
Sin:
You left your book here. Does that mean you’re coming back to get it?
He sent a picture of himself laying on one pillow in the guest room with the paperback for Nobody to Love You Better on the one beside him.
Me:
What are you doing? Do you always nap in that room?
Sin:
Before today? No. But now I’m going to. The sheets still smell like you.
Three texts in and my cheeks were already hurting from the goofy ass grin stretching my face. This man was dangerous.
Sin:
I can’t wait to see you again. And selfishly, I hope that’s tonight.
Me:
*upside down smiling face emoji*
Sincere laughed at my message and then the gray bubbles appeared.
Sin:
I can’t stop thinking about the way your face looked after I made you come.
I’ve never seen a woman look that sexy because of something I did.
I need to do it again
Heat rose to my cheeks. He wasn’t playing fair. My fingers flew to my neck recalling the way his lips had felt there, and my throat worked in a swallow as my eyes became unfocused. I needed to get out of here. Grabbing up my purse, I tossed my phone inside and speed-walked to the front of the library, through the vestibule and out to my van. I wasn’t going back to Sincere’s house, I just needed some privacy before I did something embarrassing in public.
But as I drove away from my parking spot, I wondered how long it would be before I showed up on his doorstep.
Because I needed him to do it again too.
Thankfully, that “ What’s Up” catch up session with Ms. Ruby turned into another dinner invitation. And I was all too ready for the distraction. Because if I was left to my own devices, I would have been back at the lake house after an hour of trying to focus on alternate funding for my bookstore. Nothing made me feel more defeated than sitting down and working through the numbers for the millionth time knowing nothing had changed. My dejection made me crave the comfort of Sincere’s presence and Lorenzo’s teasing smile to make me feel better. Hell, even Rome’s lukewarm reception would be better than sitting with the fact that my dream may never see the light of day.
But here I was, hours later, on my third ‘modest’ pour of moonshine Pauly made under their porch, feeling…warm and fuzzy. That had a lot to do with Ruby’s gray Pit bull, Lady, snuggled against my lap. She hadn’t left my side since I drove up and I smiled softly, cupping her sweet face with one hand.
“Hi, pretty girl,” I cooed when she just blinked up at me.
I’d barely hopped down from my van when Ms. Ruby walked up to me, fussing about her being pregnant.
“The vet said there’s five of them in there. What am I supposed to do with six dogs?”
While she looked flustered, I couldn’t help but notice how happy her husband, Pauly, looked at the prospect. “I told you not to worry yourself with all that, Ruby Jean. I’ll take care of them.”
He came up and kissed her cheek before giving me a toothy grin. “Hey there, sunbeam. We missed you last night.”
Like his wife, he’d seen me once and gifted me with a nickname that made me smile every time I heard it.
After hugging them both, I let them lead me to their back porch, where the grill was fired up and the oldies were blasting. A few people I didn’t know filtered in and out the house, but I didn’t get up whenever new faces arrived. Mostly because I didn’t want to disturb the dog nestled against my legs. And partly because I was feeling every ounce of this moonshine coursing through my bloodstream. I was stuck, blissfully mellowed out and enjoying the nighttime air while the chatter of people faded in and out.
“You aight out here, honeybee?”
I turned my head toward the sound of Ruby’s voice and she gave a wheezy laugh when we made eye contact. “Oh, girl. No wonder you so quiet out here.”
She pulled up a patio chair beside me, angling it so her body faced my legs and created the perfect lounging spot for Lady. The dog settled between us, her head on her owner’s shins while she draped her lower body over me.
“Ms. Ruby, can I ask you something?”
“Anything, honeybee.” I loved the way she effortlessly held space for me, whether we were standing on the side of the road or gathered around her firepit. Whenever I needed to say something, she gave me her undivided attention.
Carefully, I filtered through the word vomit in my head and asked, “Would you take an offer knowing it would end in three months if you knew it was a once in a lifetime experience?”
“Probably. My life is the result of choices just like that,” she answered, patting Lady’s back.
“How do you detach yourself from the dread of having to say goodbye when you know it’s going to hurt?”
“I don’t.” She shrugged, but the gesture wasn’t dismissive. It was simply a reflex to accompany her words. “We can’t avoid goodbyes no matter how hard we try, honeybee. Life is unpredictable, so even that person you think you got forever with could be gone in the blink of an eye.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“I know I’m right,” she huffed with another scratchy laugh. “But ain’t that the beauty in it? Wouldn’t you rather have something good for a while than to always wonder about it?”
Chills erupted and multiplied on my skin at how eerily similar her words were to my earlier thoughts.
I guess I just needed to hear someone say it aloud. And coming from this woman, whose wisdom I trusted the most, was as clear of a sign as I was going to get.
I could be Sincere and Enzo’s for the summer. Maybe the end wouldn’t be so bad so long as I knew it was coming. Besides, I could get to the end of the summer and decide I wanted to move back to New Hope if I didn’t figure something out here. Maybe a summer with them was just what I needed before I said goodbye to this beautiful town.
Ms. Ruby went quiet beside me, her eyes fixed on the trees lining her backyard while she rubbed absently behind Lady’s ear. She looked so pretty and peaceful.
Angling my phone just right, I snapped a quick picture and sent it to her, knowing she’d see it sometime tomorrow since she barely touched her phone when she was home.
Pauly walked outside, gave me a wink and another splash of moonshine in my mason jar. “How you feelin’, sunbeam?”
“Good. Warm .”
Ruby grinned at my reply, shaking her head. “Lord, we done got this child tore up.”
“That’s what the guest room is for,” Pauly reminded her, kissing the top of her hair before disappearing inside.
After that, I spent the next few minutes enamored with the lightning bugs flashing in the distance and sipped at my drink, my head full and empty at the same time.
I didn’t know how much time passed before I started swiping around my phone screen, not understanding why everything was so damn blurry until I glimpsed the empty mason jar on the glass table beside me.
Hmm. That would explain why my fingertips were tingling and why my chest felt so warm. And now I was overcome with the urge to tell Sincere and Lorenzo I accepted their offer.
Somehow, I stumbled through my app icons until I saw a green blob and pushed it.
Sincere’s message thread was still at the top and I opened it and typed out a message.
Me:
Cme hear, Sin
The gray bubbles popped up immediately.
Sin:
What the hell, Goldyn? *crying laughing emoji* Where are you?
Me:
Y ru laughin’
Sin:
Goldy, are you drunk?
Me:
Mayb
My vision blurred and his text turned into five until I squeezed my eyes shut and tried again. This time when I looked at the screen, I only saw two messages.
Sin:
Where are you, my love?
Me:
Rubyyyyy
Sin:
Ms. Ruby’s house?
I nodded at his message and dropped the phone in my lap.
A second later, it vibrated against my thigh. Something that looked like Sincere’s name appeared on the screen and the best etiquette I could muster was an answering, “Huh?”
“Goldyn.” My name came out in a relieved whoosh. “Are you safe, love?”
“Yeah. So safe.” I nodded again, my chin hitting the top of my chest with each bow of my head. “I just miss you. Can you come here?”
“I’m already on my way,” he said, voice even. “I just needed to make sure you were good until I got there.”
“I’m good. So good,” I assured him, my words coming slower and slower. “I’m with my best friend, Ruby. Do you want to speak to her?”
A quiet laugh filled the line. “I don’t need to speak to her, love. Just stay on the phone with me until I get there. Can you do that?”
“Mhmm.” I closed my eyes and listened to the faint rustling coming from the other side of the receiver. Just when I felt like I was going to fall asleep, Sincere’s voice cut in.
“What did you do today, Goldy?”
“Think about you.”
Another quiet laugh and an even quieter sigh touched my ears. “And what else?”
“I worked on stuff for the bookstore and then I came to Ruby’s house. Did you know she has a dog? She’s so sweet. And she’s pregnant. I want a dog so bad, Sincere. But I can’t live in my van with it. I know some people do it, but I’m not made for that life.”
“I hear you, love.”
“Mr. Pauly gave me some moonshine.”
“Did he?”
“Yes.”
“How much did you have, beautiful?”
“Three fingers.”
“Is that why you’re calling me?”
“No. I was gonna call you anyway. I wanted to see you. All I did was think about you today. Did you think about me?”
“You have no idea, Goldy.” God, I really loved his voice. It sounded so good when he said my name.
“I love it when you call me Goldy.” My head lolled against the back of my chair. “I love it when you call me anything.”
We talked—well, I talked and he listened until he pulled up on the side of the house and walked right up to us on the back deck.
I couldn’t wipe the lazy smile off my face if I tried when he dipped his head to greet Ms. Ruby first and kiss her cheek.
“You taking my girl away from me?”
Sincere nodded, looking at me before fixing his eyes back on Ruby. “Is it okay if we leave her van here for the night? I’ll bring her back to get it tomorrow.”
“It don’t make me no never mind. She can leave it as long as she wants. Whole summer if need be,” Ruby said and I swore I saw a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. But I was drunk, so everything looked like a twinkle.
My heavy eyes moved from her to Sincere and stayed on him because he looked so damn good. He had a casually preppy style he pulled off so easily.
The few times I’d seen him, he was wearing a pastel button up, cuffed to show off his forearms, unbuttoned to the center of his chest and showcasing a few gold chains around his neck. Yesterday at Lucky’s he’d been wearing navy shorts and white sneakers with a mint green one. Today he had on a peach shirt with light-wash jeans and brown leather shoes.
“Hey, love,” he said, appearing in front of me. When his fingers grazed the side of my cheek, I closed my eyes on instinct.
“You came.”
“Of course, I did.” His lips slanted in a half smile. “Ready to go?”
“Yes.” That’s all I got to say before he had me scooped up in his arms, carrying me bridal style to his Bronco. When Sincere reached over me to fasten my seatbelt, I remembered. “We have to say goodbye to Ms. Ruby.”
“We already did, love.”
Oh .
“I’m really glad you called me.” Then he kissed my forehead, gave me another smile and closed the passenger door.