25. Goldyn
Another week passed and instead of spending Saturday night on the couch sandwiched between Enzo and Sin watching Braxton Family Values , I was tucked away in the kitchen, eating cheesecake alone while they entertained guests for a dinner party.
Everyone was spread between the dining room and living room, chatting in small groups, and while I’d spent the first half of the night happily hanging off Sincere’s arm while he introduced me to all of Lorenzo’s business associates, I’d finally snuck away to take a breather after the tenth introduction.
There were over thirty people here, but because the house was so huge, the party barely seemed bigger than a family dinner.
Lorenzo had kept an eye on us, his gaze bright every time it landed on us before he went back to making sure his guest were good. Apparently, this was a thing they did every year, regardless of whether they were in King’s Town or Bliss Peak.
Since Lorenzo was a consultant for multiple clients and not tied down to one company, he liked hosting a dinner party twice a year to show his appreciation for their business. Once in the summer and again in the winter, closer to Christmas.
And that was what my mind decided to fixate on.
The Christmas party.
The Christmas party I wouldn’t be around for because my time with Sincere and Enzo would be over three months prior to that. The realization sat in the pit of my stomach like a lead weight.
I peeked out of the kitchen, catching a glimpse of Sincere near the entrance, receiving praise for the desserts he’d prepared and a smile washed away some of my unease. The dinner had been catered, but Sincere volunteered to make a few desserts at the last minute, and hearing the compliments he received made pride bloom in my chest.
His shy smile and acceptance made it that much sweeter. He deserved all the praise, even if he did look like he was searching for an escape route to get away from it.
My lips quirked when Lorenzo appeared at his side, kissing his temple before taking over the conversation with a practiced ease.
They looked so in love.
They were so in love.
This was their norm. Their life.
And soon, I would be a memory while they carried on with their norm.
Everything I’d eaten tonight threatened to claw up my throat and make a messy reappearance, so I bowed my head and looked away.
“‘Round Midnight” filtered through hidden speakers throughout the first level of the house, the nostalgic sounds reminding me of my grandma. Miles Davis and John Coltrane had been staples in our house. And now…
And now she wasn’t here to do her word search while I sat beside her and read a book as the sound system played jazz. Loud enough for us to enjoy and loud enough to drown out any visitors who decided to show up at our door without calling first, as she liked to say. My grandmother took her alone time seriously, but she never minded having me in her space. We’d spend hours like that, lost in our hobbies, alone but together and I missed that so much.
Every time I thought about having to go back to being alone when this thing with Sin and Enzo was over, my heart broke a little more. I’d trained myself over the past nine years to be alone and fine with it. But apparently, it only took five weeks of consistent company to undo that.
A painful lump camped out in my throat, and annoying tears stung my eyes as I drained my whole glass of wine in one inelegant gulp.
You will always belong right here with us. Fuck everything else. You’re ours. As long as you want us.
Lorenzo’s words from that night in Charlotte taunted me. I wanted to believe them, but if life had taught me nothing else, it had taught me not to take anything a man said in the throes of passion as gospel.
And since he hadn’t brought it up again in the two weeks since, I found no solace in that declaration, regardless of how good it made me feel in the moment. So, I had less than two months to savor everything about this feeling before it got snatched away.
You agreed to this, Goldyn.
Yea, and past me clearly had no sense of self-preservation. This was more than a fling. I was doing more than sleeping with them. I was in love. With both of them. Fully. Irrevocably. Foolishly in love with two men who were already happily married and had no use for me beyond this summer.
God, some days it felt like I’d hopped right into one of my romance novels. Except I wasn’t sure about this ending in a happily ever after.
I’d just refilled my glass of white wine when I heard a voice behind me that made all the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.
“There she is, honey. I told you I’d find her.”
Chance Summers.
When I faced him, his smile was brighter than the diamonds lacing his companion’s neck.
“Hi,” I offered, unable to keep the agitated edge out of my voice. Why had he been looking for me? And why did the woman beside him look like she’d just placed something sour on her tongue?
Chance fidgeted with his hands, smiling up at me. Since I had on heels tonight, I had at least two inches on him.
“We’re about to get out of here, but I wanted to congratulate you again on having your offer accepted for the second space. You’re gonna do great things.”
Well, now I felt bad for being annoyed.
“Thanks, Chance. And thanks for your help.” Because the second storefront was owned by a different company, it’d taken longer for my offer to be accepted even though the spaces were side by side. He’d sounded more excited than me when he called to congratulate me a few days ago.
“No problem.” He rocked on his heels, smiling at me like a proud family member, and then seemed to remember we weren’t alone. “Oh, Goldyn, this is my wife, Lilith. Honey, this is Goldyn Ambrose. The one who’s going to open the best bookstore in town.”
The only bookstore in town.
But he was right. It would be the best.
Fixing a gracious smile on my face, I extended my hand to the woman he called his wife and laughed when she just looked at it.
I was too tipsy for this shit.
The smile she gave me in return could only be described as acidic and I wished she could read my mind and understand I wasn’t interested in her husband. Not in the slightest. I had enough going on with my love life. Getting involved with a married man wasn’t on my to-do list.
Because you already checked it off.
Sincere and Lorenzo are married , the voice in my head taunted. Happily too .
Ignoring the stinging truth of my thoughts, I grabbed up the half-empty wine bottle and tried to excuse myself, but Chance’s hand on my arm stopped me.
He clearly hadn’t registered how cold his wife was acting—or he simply didn’t care—and now he was staring at me in that way that made my skin prickle with the awareness of too much attention.
“You know, I never got a chance to ask, who are your parents?”
“Never met them.” My words came out clipped. Hopefully, that would be enough to get him to leave me alone.
But, of course it didn’t.
“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”
“Don’t be. My grandmother raised me.” And she did a damn good job.
A strange look flickered on his face, like he was summoning the courage to ask more questions, but I’d had enough.
Between my semi-meltdown before he arrived, his wife’s glacial stare, and the way he was studying me, I needed to leave.
I hastily excused myself, wine bottle still clutched in my hand and walked toward the back door.
Shivers raced over my skin at the memory of his eyes on me. Had I danced for him at a club and couldn’t remember it? Was that why he was so fixated on me? Was that the reason why he kept looking at me like he knew something I didn’t?
I pushed the thought away as I opened the backdoor and stepped outside onto the massive wraparound deck. The same deck I’d climbed up on to break into their house almost six weeks ago. It felt like a lifetime ago.
The first inhale of fresh mountain air settled my frayed nerves just enough for me to breathe.
Lingering near the door with my back pressed against the side of the house, I looked down at the heels I’d bought just last week and smirked at the memory of the shopping trip. The way Sincere had given me a minimum I needed to spend. The way he followed me into the dressing room and made me watch him fuck me in this dress to prove how pretty I would look in it.
Heat flooded my core at the flashback and a little bit of the tension bunching my muscles subsided. I couldn’t look back on any memory with Sincere and call it a sad one, even when my chest ached at not having those moments in the future.
I loved him.
It’d only been five-and-a-half weeks. Why did the thought of leaving them already hurt this much?
Because I wasn’t supposed to fall in love. I should have known from that day at Lucky’s that I would fall for Sincere as hard as I had. He was the easiest person to love and I dove in, headfirst, thinking I would have time to teach my heart not to get her hopes up.
Time and time again, I tried to trick my brain into doing that. And time and time again, I failed.
The wine bottle felt heavy in my hand and I decided to do something about it.
Kicking my heels off by the door, I walked down the deck steps to get to the fire pit on the side of the house.
I was neither surprised nor disappointed when I found a fire already lit and Romeo sitting in a chair facing it, quiet contemplation etched on his beautiful face.
“Do you want to be alone?” I asked instead of a usual greeting.
Rome tore his eyes from the fire and looked up like he’d been expecting me. He shook his head, his body relaxing more into his chair and that’s when I noticed the joint hanging loosely from his fingers. “Nah. You can be here. Sit down, G.”
Relief washed over me at his invitation and I moved to sit in the Adirondack chair beside him before he changed his mind.
“I brought wine.” I lifted my contraband to show him and his answering smirk made my stomach do somersaults.
The fire’s glow lit his inky skin in the most ethereal way and I had to take a moment to drink it all in.
“How long have you been out here?”
“About an hour.”
“Dinner ended an hour ago.”
“Exactly.”
I smiled at my lap. He’d dipped as soon as people started getting social. Very on brand.
He took a pull of his jay and I stared, entranced by the orange flicker at the end and how it compared to the fire burning in front of us.
When he pulled it away from his lips and extended it to me, I shook my head.
“Oh, no thanks. I don’t know how to inhale.”
He ashed it in a tray sitting on the arm of his chair and cut his eyes at me.
When he took another hit, I sat there watching him, forgetting time existed.
I didn’t mind quiet when it came to Rome, but the wine had me feeling greedy.
“Do you wanna play a game with me?”
“What game?” It wasn’t a no and I smiled setting down my now empty wine bottle.
“I don’t know. Twenty-one questions or truth or dare.”
“You can just ask me your questions, G. You ain’t gotta call it a game.”
I gulped. “But don’t you want to ask me questions back?”
Rome shook his head, his eyes on the ground near my bare feet. “Not really. You talk enough for me not to have any questions for a while.”
I wanted to be offended, but laughter spilled out of me. Sitting up straighter, I shifted my body toward him.
“What’s your favorite color?”
“Black or purple.”
“Like your car,” I murmured.
“Was that a question?”
Eyes narrowed, I pursed my lips. “You know it wasn’t.”
Romeo smirked, but remained quiet, pulling out his lighter to relight his joint.
“Are you happy?” I wanted to know, jumping off the deep end.
“Depends on your definition of happiness.”
“What’s your definition?”
“Having everything I need and all the people I care about being happy and healthy.”
“Is that true for you right now?”
He stared at me, unblinking, for a full minute before looking away. “For the most part, yes.”
“Can you tell me a secret?” Did a man like Romeo Wilde have secrets? He was straightforward to a fault. But maybe there was something he kept tucked away just for him. My pulse spiked at the possibility of being the one he shared a secret with. My knee bounced while I awaited his answer, my fingers tapping idly against the arm of my chair.
“I have plenty of secrets, Goldy. But the only one on my mind right now is how much you drive me fucking crazy.”
My fingers froze. My knee stopped jumping and I looked over at him with my mouth slightly agape.
Rome didn’t flinch as our eyes met. In fact, he looked more relaxed now than he had a second ago.
I couldn’t break my gaze away from his and fell into the magnetic pull of his lingering stare.
Again, the wine had me loose in the lips because my follow up came too easily. I didn’t know who the woman borrowing my voice was but she said, “So do something about it.”