Chapter 9
9
Brax
Adam:
James said she’s heading out to celebrate Pirate’s win. You’re going too, right?
Brax:
Wasn’t planning on it. Zack and Essie will be there, though.
Adam:
Yeah, that’s the part that worries me. They need adult supervision.
Mistakes had been made.
The first mistake was making the drive to Pueblo for Pirate’s first show to begin with. I should have sat this one out like I’d told Essie I would. But dammit, that horse had loped his way into my affection. I wanted to be there in case anything went wrong—even though I knew he was in good hands with Essie and James.
Maybe if I had considered that being there for Pirate meant spending hours at a time within arm’s length of Essie, I would have reconsidered. Maybe if I had understood that every sound she made would remind me of the way she moaned as I touched her in the grocery store, I would have stayed the fuck home.
But I really wanted to see Pirate win.
Which he had, and that blue ribbon led to mistake number two: letting Adam talk me into going out to celebrate instead of driving straight back to Aspen Springs. Because goddammit, Essie was wearing those light wash Wranglers that cupped her sweet ass to perfection, and a tee shirt that hung off one shoulder to reveal a red lacy strap of something. A camisole? Her bra? I would have given my right pinky finger to find out.
And all of those mistakes culminated with the biggest one of all: not throwing Essie over my shoulder and getting her the hell out of there the second I realized the bar had a mechanical bull. Because I knew without a shadow of a doubt that Essie was going to ride that fucker before the night was over.
And I was going to have to watch her do it.
Worse, I couldn’t even numb myself to her effect with whiskey because I was the designated driver. Instead, I was slowly sipping my way down a bottle of shitty beer, the only drink I was allowing myself for the night.
“You’re going to crack that bottle in half if you don’t lighten up.” Zack smirked at me across the high-top table and took a sip from his own shitty beer, eyes alight with speculation. “What the hell are you glaring at everyone for? We’re here to celebrate. I got you a shiny blue ribbon, man.”
I didn’t say anything as I rolled the bottle between my hands, letting the chilled glass cool me down. The room was overheated, packed with bodies, and every time I glanced at the bar where Essie and James were making each other laugh, another one of those bodies was standing too close to them, and usually that body was male. The girls seemed to have no trouble fending off unwanted advances. Neither one of them had signaled for help. That would likely continue for James, but I figured it was only a matter of time before Essie saw something she liked .
My gaze slid to the bar again just as Essie leaned forward across the counter to get the bar tender’s attention, giving me an excellent view of her ass in those fucking jeans. Unfortunately, I wasn’t the only one to get an eyeful. A guy tapped her shoulder. She turned, he said something I couldn’t hear over the hum of voices and country music, and at her nod, he flagged the bartender.
Fucking great.
I took another sip of my shitty beer. Unsurprisingly, it did not improve my mood.
“You’re coming to the rodeo tomorrow, right?” Zack asked, pulling my attention back to him. “I’m entered in the bronc riding.”
I shrugged. “Might as well.”
“Gee, thanks. Way to be a supportive big brother. It’s almost like you don’t care that I’m doing you a huge fucking favor right now.”
“With Pirate, you mean?” I raised my eyebrows. “Can we really call it a favor when you get to keep half the winnings?”
Zack grinned, his eyes flicking over my shoulder and then back to me again. “Nah, I’m not talking about Pirate. I’m talking about how I’m keeping you distracted while Essie is on that bull.”
“What?” I whipped around so fast I nearly tumbled off the stool.
Sure enough, Essie was astride the mechanical bull, her long legs wrapped tightly around the barrel. Christ. The bull was surrounded by foam mats to cushion her body when—not if —she fell. Falling was inevitable. No one was allowed to dismount on their own, because where was the fun in that?
A crowd had gathered around the low barrier around the bull. I could barely make out James’s short frame front and center. I would have missed her entirely if she hadn’t cupped her hands to her mouth like a foghorn and hollered, “Ride, you sexy thing!”
Fucking James.
Essie grinned widely in response. Zack let out a piercing whistle, which earned him a sharp glare from me. Essie looked up, her gaze searching until she found us, and she lifted her hand in a wave. Then she wrapped her hand around the grip, her top teeth digging into her bottom lip.
That fucking mouth.
I rubbed my chest. She looked so happy. She always did, when I wasn’t going out of my way to piss her off.
The bull started up and her hips immediately caught the rhythm. I should have looked away, saved myself from the torture, but my eyes refused to budge. My cock thickened with every rock of her hips.
“Damn, that girl can ride,” Zack said, admiration loud in his voice.
Of course she could ride. She was one of the top barrel racers in the country. Riding a horse, riding a mechanical bull, riding a man…I had no doubt Essie Price knew what she was doing.
“She’s not for you,” I warned, in case Zack had similar thoughts.
“Yeah, you’ve made that abundantly clear. You’ve been pissing circles around that girl since you first laid eyes on her.” Zack snorted. “What I don’t get is why you think she’s not for you .”
I shook my head. “It’s not like that with us. She was never for me.”
And that was the fucking truth. One I reminded myself of every damn day. Essie Price was meant for greatness. She didn’t need any man tying her to a small Colorado town. Like her dad, she craved freedom. But unlike her dad, she wasn’t willing to sever ties to have it. Her heart was too big and too loyal.
More than eight seconds had passed, but Essie hung on. The crowd started counting down, starting at ten. I had the feeling her ride would end when they got to one and, sure enough, the operator jerked her from one direction to the other, making her lose her seat. The crowd cheered good-naturedly.
I slid off my stool as Essie rolled over and pushed to her feet, laughing. She took a swaying step and then stopped and braced her hands on her knees, clearly dizzy. I sliced through the crowd, already halfway there when James climbed over the guardrail to help her. But tiny James was no match for Essie’s height, and they tumbled together into a pile, giggling hysterically.
“Jesus Christ,” I muttered. I pushed aside two guys overeager to help and hauled James to her feet. “You good?”
She nodded, smiling widely. “I’m not the one who was spinning in circles.”
I didn’t need the reminder. I was already squatting low so I could scoop Essie into my arms. “I’ve got you.”
“No,” she said, sounding genuinely horrified.
“Yes,” I said, and strode off the mats with her.
The crowd parted for us, people calling out compliments on her riding skills as we went. I headed for the table with Zack, but she tugged at my collar. I looked down at her, the question in my eyes.
“Air,” she said. “I need air.”
I nodded. “James?—”
“I’ll get Zack.” She dropped a bottle of water into Essie’s lap. “We can head back to the hotel.”
“No,” Essie protested. “I just need a minute. It’s so hot in here, but I don’t want to leave yet. It’s still early.”
James looked at me and then back to Essie. “Okay, but if you change your mind, it’s fine. I don’t mind getting some rest.”
I kicked the door open with my boot and carried Essie out into the crisp night air. She sucked in an audible deep breath.
“Whew. You can put me down now. ”
I set her on her feet, watching her carefully in the fluorescent lamplight as she uncapped the water and took a long swallow.
“Go back inside. I’ll follow in a couple minutes.” When I gave her a look she smirked a little. “Yeah, I knew you weren’t going to go for that.”
“Sit down.” I gestured to the graying wood-planked bench against the wall, but she shook her head.
“I’m fine. Really. It actually feels good to stand. Wow, it’s been a really good day, huh? Pirate won his first competition. How amazing is that?” Her words tumbled over each other.
I cocked my head, studying her. “Are you drunk?”
“No.” She laughed and then flashed me an impish grin. “Well, maybe a little bit. Can you be a little bit drunk? Or is it like being pregnant? Once you’re in, you’re all in. I’m not pregnant, either, by the way. I haven’t had sex in…oh…nine months? That’s too long. Don’t you think it’s too long?”
I stared at her.
Oh, no.
I had never seen Essie drunk, to my recollection, but I had seen her sober plenty of times and this wasn’t it.
Sober Essie hated me. But drunk Essie was looking at me with an offer in her eyes that I might not be strong enough to refuse.
She swayed toward me a step, and then another. Not in a drunk, unsteady on her feet kind of way. In a hips swinging, seductive kind of way. When there wasn’t space to fit a Bible between us, she tilted her face up and licked her bottom lip. I bit back a groan.
Whatever the fuck was happening right now, she was going to hate me more than ever in the morning. I couldn’t do it. I wouldn’t do it. Unless she put her lips on mine right now, because in that case?—
“You used to be my best friend,” she whispered. “Why did you stop?”
She could have slid a knife right into my gut and it would have surprised me less. Hurt less, too, probably. The ache of it filled my lungs instead of oxygen. I couldn’t breathe around it.
“I told you everything. My hopes, my fears, all of it. I even talked to you about Jack, the good and the bad, even though you were his friend, too, because I knew you would never breathe a word of it to him. I knew you wouldn’t betray me. You were mine in a way that you were never his, weren’t you? I don’t know how else to explain it, but that’s how it felt.”
That’s how it was .
But I didn’t say a damn word.
“I told you everything,” she said again. “Well, almost everything. I used to think about what it would be like if we were more than friends. I never told you that. But it’s true. I used to wonder about what it would be like to kiss you.” She looked up at me, her blue eyes as luminous as the stars overhead. “Did you ever wonder that? ”
She moved like she meant to put her wondering to rest once and for all, but I moved faster. I caught her jaw with my hand, her chin snug in the curve between my thumb and index finger, and held her back.
“No,” I roughed out. “I never wondered what it would be like to kiss you. I didn’t have to wonder.” I slid my hand from her jaw down the smooth column of her throat where I could feel her pulse thrum. She stared at me with wide eyes, her mouth falling slightly open. “Because I knew how it would be. The way it always is with us. Too much, and not enough.”
With a gentle squeeze, I released her throat. “Let’s go.”
I took her hand and pulled her into the safety inside.