Chapter 12
12
‘But it’s going to be very hot today, sweetheart; you won’t need a jumper on the beach,’ Anya said, trying her best to keep her frustration to herself. ‘Go and get changed into the things I left on your bed, please.’ She checked her watch and swallowed a groan. They were already ten minutes overdue. Her aunt had suggested they take a picnic down to the beach and Anya had been happy to accept the invitation.
‘No! No! No!’ Freya’s protest ended in a high-pitched scream as she burst into tears. She stomped her foot, not an easy task in a pair of too-small frog-faced wellies Anya could’ve sworn had gone into one of the charity donation bags when she’d been clearing out ready for their move. Teamed with her sparkling blue Elsa princess dress and a thick Nordic-style red jumper covered in a pattern of white snowflakes, her daughter cut quite the picture.
Anya stared at the tiny bundle of outrage in front of her and wondered if she should summon a priest to perform an exorcism. Freya was prone to the odd outburst, but nothing like this. Doing her best to keep her tone as calm as possible, she tried again. ‘You won’t be able to go swimming without your costume and you’ll spoil your pretty dress if it gets covered in sand.’
All she got for her efforts was a fresh round of tears and another wailed, ‘Nooooo!’
Give me bloody strength . Arguing the point was only making them later, so Anya took a deep breath and turned away to finish packing a large shop-for-life carrier bag with the endless paraphernalia any trip with a small child required. She’d just returned from fetching a packet of wet wipes from their tiny bathroom when Aunt Helen tapped and opened the door.
‘I just came to see if you needed a hand,’ she said, her bright smile fixed on Anya.
‘Everything’s fine, as you can see,’ Anya replied, not sure whether to laugh or join Freya, whose screams had subsided slightly into funny little hiccup-sobs.
Helen’s smile was full of sympathetic understanding. ‘What can I do?’
‘Persuade Freya to put something else on if you can. She won’t listen to me, but perhaps you can talk some sense into her.’ Anya folded up a couple of towels and added them to the bag, then headed to the fridge to grab a flask of juice she’d made up earlier.
‘Why don’t you let her wear what she has on?’
Anya returned to put the flask in the bag. There was something else she was forgetting…
She jerked her head up as her aunt’s words registered. ‘You have seen what she’s wearing?’
Helen shrugged. ‘She’s old enough to learn that actions have consequences. Stick a change of clothes in the bag and once she realises she’s made a mistake, she can get changed.’
Anya supposed that would be easier than arguing. ‘And what if she doesn’t admit she’s made a mistake? ’
Her aunt shrugged. ‘Then she’ll have to put up with being too hot.’
Anya sighed and shook her head. ‘I just don’t know what’s got into her. She never normally makes a fuss about what to wear. She likes to pick things out for herself, but she usually listens to suggestions as well.’ She frowned at Freya, whose tears were now little more than sniffs as she watched the two of them warily. Knowing the wrong word would set her off again, Anya decided to take her aunt’s advice and admit defeat. ‘Go and wash your face, please. It’s time to go.’
Freya lit up like a Christmas tree, which Anya supposed was apt given her festive choice of jumper, and skipped off to the bathroom to do as she was told. Again Anya wondered how she managed to move so easily in those boots, but settled instead on retrieving the swimming costume, sundress, hat and sandals she’d laid out earlier. A couple of minutes later and they were out of the door and heading across the garden to meet the others, who were waiting patiently.
Anya was surprised to see her cousin Matt standing with the others. ‘Hello! I didn’t know you’d be joining us.’
Matt gave her an exasperated half-smile. ‘Ed and I were supposed to be replacing the carpet in the dining room but he’s had a better offer apparently and gone off somewhere for the weekend. I called round hoping to beg a bacon butty off Mum and instead got roped into making enough sandwiches to feed the five thousand.’
His dad handed him a large plastic cool box. ‘Once you’ve helped us carry this lot to the beach you’re welcome to push off again.’
Matt shook his head. ‘And miss out on all those sandwiches I made? No chance!’ With the cooler in one hand, he reached for a large rucksack and hooked it over his opposite shoulder. ‘ You’d think we were going on a polar trek, not five minutes down the road.’
‘At least Freya’s dressed for a polar trek,’ Anya said, shaking her head as she watched her daughter skip down the path holding Helen’s hand.
Her cousin’s eyebrows almost hit his hairline as he surveyed Freya’s outfit. ‘Interesting fashion choice; must’ve inherited it from you.’
‘Haha! Don’t think I’ve forgotten that summer where you wore that floppy beanie constantly.’
Matt pulled a face at her. ‘Bad enough having Chloe around to blow all my secrets; now I’m going to have to put up with two of you!’
Shooting her brother a triumphant grin, Chloe slung her arm around Anya’s waist. ‘Double trouble back together just the way it’s meant to be.’
Anya returned the embrace, the old nickname for the pair of them bringing back a flood of happy memories. Whatever the circumstances that had brought her here, it was good to be back in the Quay with the people she loved.
It was only a few minutes to the beach and no one would’ve suspected that Freya had had a meltdown from the way she gambolled around between them, running ahead then racing back to point out something she’d spotted. She tripped once in her too-small boots but Ryan saved the day, dropping the large roll of mats he was carrying and grabbing Freya before she could face-plant on the pavement. He turned it into a game as he swung her into the air and up onto his back. Squealing with delight, Freya clung to his neck as he jogged down the steps and across the golden sand. Anya took the bag Chloe was carrying so her cousin could scoop up the mats and then they made their way down .
The beach was busy with both locals and weekenders but they found a spot not far from where several rows of water sports equipment had been neatly set out beneath a large green advertising flag emblazoned with the words The Hire Hut . As they dropped their bags, mats and other bits and pieces Anya spotted Rick nearby. He was wearing a baseball cap and a T-shirt the same lurid green as the beach flag, and a pair of long black shorts. He was talking to a couple wearing wetsuits and bright yellow life jackets. Rick held a two-bladed paddle between his hands, his wide shoulders dipping and rolling as he showed them the correct technique. As though sensing her watching him, Rick glanced over. Spotting Anya, he smiled and waved before turning his attention back to the couple.
‘Fancy a paddle, do you?’ Chloe said, pausing in her task of rolling out the straw mats to see what Anya was staring at. ‘Or are you just admiring the view?’
‘I don’t know what you’re talking about,’ Anya said, snatching the mat her cousin was holding and shaking it out, making a point of turning her back on Rick in the process.
‘My mistake.’ Chloe’s grin was so evil Anya was surprised she hadn’t sprouted little horns on the top of her head.
While Ryan and Matt made a return trip to the house to fetch a windbreak and a couple of sun umbrellas, the three of them finished laying out the mats and towels. Freya squatted nearby, humming to herself as she dug a hole with a plastic spade. The blue net hem of her dress was already covered in sand but Anya told herself to channel Elsa and just ‘Let it go’. If the worst came to the worst, she could rip out the skirt and replace it with something from one of the bags of material Ryan had stored in the shed for her. Perhaps it was time to think about getting her sewing machine out and finding space for it. Her evenings were quiet once Freya had gone to bed, so she could run up a few things and maybe try and sell them. Even if she only made a few pounds it would be better than nothing.
‘Hello? Earth to Anya.’
Anya blinked as Chloe waved a hand in front of her face. ‘Sorry, I was miles away.’
‘Clearly.’ Chloe shimmied out of her shorts and T-shirt to reveal a black fifties-style bikini with a halter-neck top and high-waisted bottoms. Anya coveted it immediately and told her so. ‘Thanks,’ Chloe said with a pleased grin as she settled on the towel next to her. ‘So where were you just now? Anywhere nice?’
It took Anya a second to catch her meaning as she pulled off her own T-shirt to reveal an all-in-one swimsuit with a ruched waist detail that helped to disguise the softer bits around her middle that she hadn’t been able to properly shift since being pregnant. ‘Oh, no, not unless you count your dad’s shed as nice. If Freya’s dress survives a day on the beach it’ll be a miracle, and that got me thinking about my sewing machine and making space in the house for it. I’ve got all that material just sitting around, I should do something with it, though I’m not sure what.’
Chloe gave her a big grin. ‘I’ve been waiting for you to change your mind and I know exactly what you can do with it! You can make stuff for me and I’ll sell it online. I’ve got a shop for some of my art – it doesn’t earn me a fortune but I have plenty of repeat customers and I’ve even had a few commissions. I’m thinking about ramping it up a bit, designing some Christmas cards and making stocking and secret Santa gifts.’
Anya frowned at her. ‘How come this is the first I’ve heard about this?’
Chloe shrugged then took some sun cream out of her bag and began to apply it liberally to her arms. ‘I started it last year. I didn’t tell you because you had rather a lot on your plate. It’s mostly been a hobby up until now while I’ve been figuring out how everything works. I’d like to make more of it, maybe even build it up to open a shop of my own one day.’
‘I had no idea,’ Anya said, shaking her head in wonder. ‘All these dreams and ideas and you never said a word.’ She reached out and touched Chloe’s shoulder. ‘I’ve been so in my head since…’ Her cousin’s understanding smile meant she didn’t need to finish the thought. ‘I’ve not paid enough attention to what’s been going on with you.’
Putting aside the sun cream, Chloe leaned in and hugged her. ‘Like I said, you’ve had a lot going on. It’s no big deal.’
But it was. Chloe was more than a relative, she was supposed to be one of her closest friends and Anya had been so wrapped up in her own misery she’d neglected her. Issy too – and Kat. Just look at what Issy had achieved with the café and the Hub. And what about Kat? Was she really happy working for her dad? Anya doubted it but it was awful to realise she had no idea. ‘If you’re serious about making a change, then I’d love to be involved.’
Chloe’s smile was as bright as the sun. ‘Oh don’t worry, I have big plans for us, Annie. I don’t want to spend the rest of my days being a legal secretary and I’m pretty sure you never had being a hotel receptionist marked on your career card.’
‘I never had a career card,’ Anya admitted. ‘I thought Drew would take care of me forever and I could live out my little fantasy life watching home decorating shows and playing house. I know I’ve only got this job with Davy because he probably feels sorry for me. I’m not qualified to do anything.’
‘Bollocks,’ Chloe said. ‘The only person who is feeling sorry for you is you. You are brilliant at making stuff and your house wouldn’t have looked out of place on any of those shows. You have a real eye for design, Annie, and I think between us we could do something special.’
‘Like what?’
‘Like open our own interior design business one day.’
Anya couldn’t believe her ears. ‘You can’t be serious!’
Chloe looked her square in the eye. ‘I’m deadly serious. Maybe not today, but certainly in the next couple of years. I deal with all the house sales in this area, remember. I see the people who are buying up places left, right and centre. All those rich London folks looking to snap up a holiday home by the sea but with no time to do it up when they’re only down a couple of weekends a month. I’ve already put a load of business Dad and Matt’s way for the repair works. There’s a gap in the market, and I reckon we could fill it.’
Anya shook her head. ‘But where would we even start? Between working at the hotel and looking after Freya I don’t have time. I mean, I can make a few bits and pieces – cushions and throws and that kind of stuff – but that would just be the odd hour here and there in the evenings.’
‘Like I said, I’m not looking to rush into anything, but I’m also not going to spend the rest of my life working for someone else, not if I can help it. We focus on the website for now and see where that takes us and in the meantime we can make plans.’
It all sounded completely mad to Anya, but Chloe had given up so much for her. It can’t have been easy for her to move back in with her parents, even if that move had only been from the summer house at the bottom of the garden. She’d taken so much from everyone; now it was time to start giving back. ‘Your dad did mention something about converting one of his old sheds into a workshop for me. We could speak to him about it and share it, if you like. ’
‘That’s a great idea!’ Chloe leaned in to hug her again. ‘Penrose Stokes Design starts today!’
Anya shook her head. ‘Not Stokes. I don’t want anything to do with Drew tainting this. I’ve been seriously thinking about going back to Duncan.’
Chloe tilted her head as she considered it. ‘Penrose Duncan Design… I like it! What about Freya?’
Anya glanced over to where Matt was helping her daughter build sandcastles. Though the pair of them looked completely absorbed, she kept her voice low as she said, ‘It’d be easier if we both had the same name, but I’m not sure how she will feel about it in the future.’
Chloe tugged her legs up and curled her arms around them as she rested her chin on her knees. ‘Hmm, that’s a tricky one. I agree it’d be more straightforward if you both had the same name, and if you’re going to change it, better to do it now before she goes to school in September. I don’t see any harm in it, and we can sort the paperwork out for you at the firm. I don’t blame you for not wanting to be associated with him any more.’
‘That’s an understatement,’ Anya said, shooting her cousin a wry grin. It felt good to talk about it, to even make a little joke, something she never would’ve believed possible. Changing their names would be another step along the path to taking control of her life. ‘I’ll give it some serious thought and let you know. I’ve already decided to be completely honest with Freya about everything once she’s of an age to understand. If I do go ahead and change both our names, I’ll give her the choice to change it back if she wishes. Whatever happened, Drew was Freya’s father and I won’t deny her a connection to him.’
She knew what it was like to grow up with questions. After what she’d been through, Anya had much more sympathy with her mum over the decision not to have any contact with Anya’s dad after he’d walked out on them. Or maybe it hadn’t been her decision and her father hadn’t tried to keep in touch. She simply had no idea. Lisa had refused to speak about him and Anya had never found the courage to ask. She wouldn’t put Freya in the same position, regardless of her own feelings on the matter.
‘All I can say is you’re a better person than me,’ Chloe said, stretching her legs out as she closed her eyes and turned her face up to the sun like a flower opening in bloom. ‘If I was in your shoes I’d erase everything about that arsehole and pretend he never existed.’
Anya shook her head but didn’t say anything. Chloe was far more generous and thoughtful than her, but Anya was determined to change. She’d been selfish and self-absorbed, cocooning herself away from the world, caring only about her little gang of three. But this was a fresh start, an opportunity to make the best of everything, including herself. She’d been someone’s daughter, then someone’s wife, and now someone’s mother. Who was Anya Duncan without any of those labels?
She had no idea, but it was high time she found out.