Chapter 11
ELEVEN
BIANCA
I’m still not used to being able to stay in on the weekend. Every weekend back in LA was a series of going out to clubs or parties. I putter around the house on Saturday, doing nothing in particular, until Sadie needs to go out again. She’s a tiny little dog and has a tiny bladder to match.
I grab a baggie and let her outside into the backyard. Rather than just doing her business and trotting away to sniff grass or stare at the sky, she runs toward the fence between my property and Waylon’s.
Duke barks on the other side of the fence and Sadie barks back, jumping up and down. She’s way too short to make the leap — his fence is probably around six feet tall, while mine is much shorter.
“You want to say hi to Sadie?” I hear Waylon ask. “Come around — I’ll open the fence.”
I scoop up Sadie, who’s been whipped into an excited frenzy, and head over to Waylon’s yard, my heart fluttering despite myself. I’ve thought about our video call sex way more often than I should. But at the same time, I can’t even blame myself. It was the hottest thing I’d ever done and somehow, it didn’t feel awkward.
I don’t have a single regret. And I definitely have felt regret after doing things like sending (mostly) nude photos to my exes, which is kind of in the same camp. Probably because those situations felt motivated by pressure to give them what they wanted rather than a desire to turn them on.
And turning Waylon on makes things eighty times hotter for me.
I put Sadie down once we’re in and she darts over to Duke, tail wagging. Despite the size difference between them, Duke is gentle with her, sniffing her back.
“Hey,” I say to Waylon. He looks delicious in just shorts, a t-shirt, and a baseball hat. No glasses today, but still — I’m a little flustered.
“Hey.” He smiles back at me. “How’s your day going?”
“Not bad. Just kind of…doing stuff around the house.” I shrug, crossing my arms over my chest. I didn’t put on a bra, and most of the time I can get away with it. But just standing in his presence has my nipples hardening. “How about you?”
“Same. It was a tiring week.” He takes off his hat and rakes his fingers through his hair. “But I was going to take Duke for a short hike, if you want to come? It’s more like a walk on an unpaved path rather than a true hike.”
“Oh, sure.” I haven’t had the chance to get a dose of nature out here. “But how long is it? Sadie usually tops out at like twenty minutes walking.”
“You got her to walk twenty minutes?” His eyebrows go up. “She usually flopped down on the ground after ten minutes for me.”
I glance over at Sadie, who’s already sitting down while Duke gnaws on a ball near her. I think Sadie takes naps for at least 80% of the day, shifting from one cozy spot to another cozy spot, usually my lap. Some days I’m a little jealous.
“Yeah, she’s not super sporty, sorry,” I say.
“It’s no problem — I have a solution.” He grins. “It’s damn goofy, though.”
“Okay…?” What could he possibly be thinking of?
“Here, let me get that and get some stuff together, then we can meet back here in ten minutes,” he says, his eyes flicking down to my breasts for the briefest moment. The slightest, charming flush of pink appears across his cheeks, as if he didn’t tell me my pussy tasted good without a hint of shame just a few days ago. “And you can change if you want to.”
I go home and change into something more appropriate for hiking. Or at least what I think is appropriate for hiking — some leggings and a t-shirt, plus sturdy sneakers. And a sports bra, of course.
When I get back to Waylon’s yard, he has a bag at his feet and he’s putting what looks like another backpack on his chest. Sadie is standing in front of him, watching in rapt attention.
“What’s that?” I ask, gesturing to what he’s putting on.
He scoops up Sadie and places her into the pack, which has five holes in it. He puts her back to his chest and tucks each of her legs and tail into the holes, securing her inside the pouch. It’s a baby carrier for dogs.
“Oh my god.” I put my hand to my mouth, unable to stop the grin that spreads across my face. “You’re kidding.”
“Nope.” He grins, rubbing one of Sadie’s paws. She looks so content. “I always wanted to take her on hikes with me and Duke, and I figured this was a good solution. She loves it.”
“I can’t handle how adorable this is.” I dig my phone from my pocket. “Can I take a picture?”
“Sure.” He turns his hat backward so his face is more visible, and I snap a photo, from his smile down to where Sadie is. Then I take one that’s his whole face. I show him the first photo and he laughs. “I look ridiculous but who cares?”
“You look ridiculous in the best way,” I say, looking at the photo.
My phone’s camera reel is filled with thousands of photos I’d post online without a second thought. But the one with his whole face, capturing the brightness in his eyes…I want to keep for myself. The pic captures all the things I like about him and that doesn’t feel like it should be blasted out there to help us keep up this fake relationship ruse.
But on the other hand, we aren’t real and I should push that idea out of my head.
“C’mon, let’s go,” he says, picking up his backpack.
He clips on Duke’s leash and leads me along a path toward the woods that run up to the sides of our properties. Years and years of people walking through the woods created a path, which we walk onto and into the woods. The path becomes more defined once we’re further in.
It’s gorgeous out here, with tall, old trees and plants everywhere. The day isn’t too hot either, with a blue sky up above us. And best of all, it’s so peaceful. The sound of our feet against the dirt paths, the chirps of birds, and the breeze through the trees are all I hear.
“It’s so nice out here,” I finally say, even though the silence between us wasn’t uncomfortable.
“Yeah, I love it. It’s nice to come out here after I’ve had a shitty day.” He loosens Duke’s leash, letting it extend so Duke can explore ahead of us. “There’s a lot of cool hiking spots around here, if you want to explore them sometime. Didn’t you say something about wanting to see the stars in a really dark place?”
“I think so? I was pretty tipsy that night, which is probably why I even mentioned the sex bucket list in the first place,” I admit. “But yeah, I’d love that. There’s so much light pollution in LA.”
As much as we both clearly enjoyed fooling around, I like this too — just being next to him. I don’t get to have these kinds of moments with many people in my life. Peaceful without the need to say something or check my phone.
“Duke, leave it,” Waylon says as Duke tries to yank up an enormous fallen branch. Duke looks over his shoulder, tail wagging, then starts to go back to it. “ Leave it .”
Duke trots ahead, nose in the air like he’s annoyed. We both chuckle.
“He likes to pull up whole tree limbs,” Waylon says. “He’ll take out our ankles prancing around with it. He gets very proud of himself.”
“I bet.” Duke sniffs around, tail whipping back and forth. “Did you always want to be a veterinarian?”
“I think so, yeah,” he says. “My family always had dogs, and I was always good with them. Any animals, really. I was the kid who brought home wounded animals and helped them. My school’s 4H Club had animal husbandry activities and I interned at the clinic where I work now. It just worked out.”
I can easily imagine him as that child, his big brown eyes filled with concern for a baby bird or squirrel.
“It’s cool that you actually did it,” I say. “A lot of kids are like ‘oh, I want to be a vet’ or ‘oh, I want to be a doctor’ and not a lot of them do it.”
“Thanks,” he says. “To be honest, a lot of it was so I wouldn’t have to work at the company. I literally didn’t give a shit about it and my dad could tell. It pissed him off for some reason. He always had John David as his protégé and he was always all in, so what did he need me for?”
He looks far off into the distance, gathering his thoughts. I stay quiet to let him think.
“I think he just likes control and power. But once he saw I was all-in on veterinary school, he just kind of…stopped giving a shit about me.” He pauses. “That sounds kind of dramatic, but he’s just disengaged. Same deal with my brother Ash to a certain point. They fought like crazy back then.”
“What does Ash do?”
“He’s a musician — he’s in a band and has a record deal and everything.”
My chest seizes a little, an old reflex. Every single time that someone’s a musician or has a relative who’s one, I brace myself for them asking me for some kind of connection. Usually I say no, and those friendships fizzle out fast.
But this is different. I take a slow, steady breath to loosen the knots in my chest.
“He left town the day after he graduated high school and has only been back for holidays,” he continues.” But even then, sometimes my Dad bitches that Ash never worked for the company. I guess I’ll kind of work at the company when the shelter opens. I think Dad will be pleased since the shelter helps the bottom line. Sorry, I’m talking about myself a lot, aren’t I?”
“I asked you.” I shrug. And it’s just nice to hear him talk candidly. He’s always warm and friendly but he doesn’t let his vulnerability out that much.
“What was the thing you wanted to be when you grew up?” he asks. “An astronaut? A marine biologist? What’s up with kids wanting to be marine biologists?”
“I have no idea. I guess it sounds cool but maybe the reality isn’t all that exciting.” I snort. “I don’t know. I figured out I wasn’t a good singer pretty early, and while I like music, the whole music production thing isn’t my scene. Acting was out of the question too.”
“Why were those the only options? Just living where you lived?” he asks. Duke picks up a reasonably sized stick ahead of us, his whole butt wagging with his tail as he shows us. “Great stick, buddy.”
“Yeah, entertainment industry stuff was always the first line. Especially with nepotism connections.” I watch Duke prance along, very proud of his stick. “But trust me, I saw more than enough people try to launch careers in the industry who were subpar and I didn’t want to go that route. At least with modeling it’s a little easier to skirt by. Maybe that’s why I went into it once I had a glow-up.”
“You know what I’m going to say about that.” He gives me a slow smile.
“And you know that I’m going to say that there’s more to modeling than how I look.” I gently nudge him with my shoulder.
“I still think I’m right,” he says. “How old were you when you got into it?”
“Seventeen, so kind of old compared to other models. But before that I had really awful skin. Painful acne, all over,” I say. I’m not sure why saying it out loud makes me flush with heat. It’s been a while since I’ve told anyone new. Regardless, it’s nothing to be ashamed of. “It took Accutane and a ton of different skin treatments. Even now I’m a little anal about products being simple and safe. Nothing too crazy.”
Now my skin is nearly perfect — aside from a few period-related zits once a month and some lingering scars that laser treatments didn’t fix, everything is under control. But the emotional scars of it are still inside the back of my brain.
“That’s rough,” he says softly. “I just had a few zits and I felt so self-conscious. I can’t imagine having it bad.”
“Yeah, I got bullied for it.” I sigh. “Then again, kids find anything to bully each other over.”
“Every day I’m surprised at how shitty teenagers can be.” He shakes his head. “I can’t understand how Jeremiah teaches a bunch of high schoolers math everyday and coaches football after.”
“I think I’d die. He must have balls of steel.”
“Yeah, he’s always been like that while somehow being laid back. It’s a gift,” he says. “Speaking of, do you want to come to trivia with us? Jada and Jeremiah were asking if you want to come.”
“Trivia?” I blink and glance up at him. “I’m going to be borderline useless, you know.”
“You’ll be fine,” he says with a smile. “And they just want to get to know you more.”
I bite the inside of my cheek. It’s probably a good idea to hang out with his friends to sell the fake relationship. But I want them to genuinely like me for some reason.
“Sure, then. It’ll help us sell the relationship to your mom if people see us all hanging out,” I say.
“Cool, I’ll text you the details. It’ll be fun,” he says, genuine as always. “Anyway, do you want to open a spa because it’s skincare?”
“Yeah, exactly. We’re thinking of it like a med spa,” I say. “Not like, Botox and fillers, but mostly skin treatments for people with scarring or acne. Kind of place where I went when I was a teenager. A place people can go without judgment.”
He nods and lets me walk ahead on a narrow part of the trail. “I don’t know much about spas, but that sounds like a good idea.”
“I still don’t really know deep down if I’m going the right direction,” I admit. “I study business in my spare time and we’re doing what we can remotely, but it’s not like I’ve gone to school for this. Neither has Kaitlyn, but at least she went to college for a bit.”
“Plenty of people haven’t gone to school, and they’ve succeeded. The fact that you’re trying and doing your research is important,” he says. “People who go in with the mindset that they’ve learned everything are usually the ones who fuck up.”
“True.” I still shrug. Logically I know he’s right, but it’s hard to believe it deep down. My life has been both limited and expansive at the same time, stuck in a little bubble without a ton of hardship.
“You don’t seem like you believe me,” he says. “But you should.”
“Quit reading me like a picture book,” I say, teasing even though I’m still thrown off by how he can just reach past my usual neutral expression and pull out the truth.
“You’re a little hard to read sometimes, but not always,” he says. Duke walks back toward us and puts the stick he’s been carrying into Waylon’s hand before going to get another. “I just have to look a little deeper. And I don’t mind doing that.”
I stare up at him. What can I even say to that?
I’ve felt this flip-flop in my chest looking at him before, but it’s never taken my breath away. But this time, it does. And for the first time, worry is in the mix too. I can’t get too attached to Waylon — he’s not a part of my future plans. But I think I’m getting tied to him without even trying.