Chapter 29
TWENTY-NINE
BIANCA
Going over to Jada’s for one last girls’ night is bittersweet. When I told them I was moving this soon, they were shocked, but accepted it. I didn’t go into detail as to how I got things wrapped up so fast and they didn’t ask. My stuff is mostly packed and my flights to New York are booked for the day after tomorrow.
Soon Jepsen will just be a part of my past. Something I look back on five or ten years from now and feel too many things about. Or maybe it’ll just be those weird few months I had by then because my life ends up being amazing. But somehow, I doubt it. This place, of all places, has burrowed into me for good.
I pull up to Jada’s apartment, which is next door to her family’s hotel.
“Hey!” Jada opens the door wearing leggings and a big Crescent Hill University sweatshirt. “Come in.”
I’ve never been here, but it’s very her — bold and fun. Everything should clash and feel too loud, but somehow, it feels just right. Something in the oven smells amazing, like sugar. Bookcases are all over the place, with books stuffed in without much rhyme or reason.
“You look…” Jada looks me up and down as I pass her.
“Not great?” I catch sight of myself in a big, ornate mirror in the short hall between the entryway and living room. I look more alive than I did before and I put some effort into my hair today. But I still look colorless and tired.
“Well, I was trying not to say it. But it’s written all over your face.” Jada squeezes my arm. “But that’s what we’re here for.”
“Sorry. This was supposed to be a fun last night together,” I say with a wince.
“We can get the feels out and have fun after.”
Rose is curled up on the couch when we get to the living room. I let Sadie out of her tote and she runs over to Rose, leaping up into her lap to say hello.
“Hey!” Rose says, petting Sadie. “How are you feeling?”
Her eyes are soft and sympathetic, which makes me want to burst into tears. It’s nice to know that people have my back, even when I’m miserable and less-than-fun to be around.
“Not great,” I admit, sitting down on the other end of the couch.
“I’m sorry.” Rose puts Sadie down between us. “Here, take Sadie.”
“I think Sadie is tired of me squishing her and listening to me cry.” I take her anyway and she sits in my lap with a yawn. “But I’ll be leaving soon to New York and I’ll have a packed schedule.”
The idea of all the crap I have to do to when I get there, then all the stuff we’ll have to do for the business fills me with dread and preemptive exhaustion.
“You just sounded like you’re moving straight to hell to be beaten,” Jada says, disappearing into the kitchen.
“Yeah, I kind of feel like that.” I pause. “That’s way too dramatic, sorry.”
“You just got dumped. You can feel like shit.” Rose snags the chips, catching Sadie’s attention. “And moving sucks.”
I sink further into the couch, holding Sadie back from leaping on Rose’s chips.
“It’s kind of tiring, but I can’t just turn the feelings off.” I sniff. “It’s more complicated than I want it to be.”
“Yeah, Waylon told me what he did. What you both did.” Jada returns and stretches out on the floor like what she said is no big deal and Sadie hops down to join her.
“He did?” I freeze.
“Yep.” Jada pats her stomach so Sadie climbs onto her. “And he feels like shit about it all. Especially for fucking things up with you.”
“Oh.” At least I don’t have to go into the full story with them, then. “You aren’t shocked? By what we did?”
“Wait, wait, what are you talking about?” Rose asks, offering a chip to us.
After eating a few chips, I give her a super brief summary of my fake-turned-sort-of-real relationship with Waylon, including the spa and my plans to leave for New York. Jada lays on the floor, Sadie resting on her stomach, taking it all in.
“Holy shit.” Rose is sitting up now, cross-legged. “I can’t believe it.”
“I’m sorry.” I scratch Sadie’s back, right before her bald patch starts. “It was sort of a thrown together plan. We shouldn’t have lied.”
“No, not that. I just can’t believe you two were fake the whole time and we didn’t even realize it. Even Wes was fooled. Then again, it did turn real.”
“Mostly. Except I wasn’t enough to go full-on serious with.” I let Sadie have one chip, which she inhales in an instant.
“Nope, no blaming yourself on this. This is on Waylon for being an idiot. You’re more than enough,” Jada says, sitting up. She brought out the sugar cookies she made while I was recapping the story to Rose. The shape is a little spread out because she used vegan butter, but they’re still good. “And I think he knows that. He just has to make a move.”
“He hasn’t even texted me.” And meanwhile, I’ve typed and deleted about a million texts to him.
“He’ll do it. I know he will,” Jada says with her usual confidence.
“I’m moving, though. And he’s definitely staying.” The sadness spiral I’ve been caught up in for days comes back. “So why would he bother?”
“Because he should know y’all have something special.” Jada accidentally drops a chip and Sadie lunges for it. “I’ve known Waylon for a long ass time and I’ve never, ever seen him look more relaxed and at home with someone. And if anyone needs to chill the fuck out and take it easy, it’s him.”
I mull over what she said for a second, grabbing a cookie. Sure, he feels that way, but how can I not be upset that he has feelings for me and still chose to ignore them? It wasn’t even like he gave the excuse of us doing long distance or anything like that.
“But I’m still pissed off at him as much as I want him,” I say. “And then there’s the whole issue of long distance. The spa will be in New York and as much as I’ve been able to work on it here, I don’t think I can live here full time. At least for a while.”
“The long-distance thing is surmountable,” Jada says. “It’s not like he’s living on Mars.”
“It is harder, though,” Rose adds. “But yeah, not impossible. And even if it doesn’t work, you can at least try.”
“Exactly,” Jada says.
I murmur in agreement. They’re making sense, but it doesn’t change the fact that I’m moving and he hasn’t said anything.
“I’m not going to be telling you to forgive him, as much as I love Waylon,” Jada adds when I stay silent. “He has to earn you back. You’re more than enough.”
“You are,” Rose echoes.
“Thank you.” I swallow the lump in my throat.
I’m going to miss them so much more than I ever thought I would. I’m used to getting support from Kaitlyn and my parents, but having Rose and Jada on my side, even though Waylon is their friend too, hits different.
“Sorry, I’m still bringing down the energy. Weren’t we going to watch a movie?”
“Yes!” Jada pops up and grabs some Blu-ray boxes from a stack next to her TV. “We have some options.”
“I still can’t believe you own the physical copies instead of just streaming everything.” Rose grabs one of the boxes.
“Hey, I actually own these. Streaming can snatch my faves away at any point.” Jada spreads a few more Blu-rays on the table for us to choose from. “I have more where that came from.”
We rifle through her extensive collection and finally choose a dumb romcom that only Jada has seen. It’s light and funny enough to distract me, at least for the most part. But instead of thoughts of Waylon distracting me, the things Jada said ring in my head – that I’m enough as I am and that Waylon will have to do more than throw a few gifts at me or send a text to win me back.