Chapter 1 #3
“Thanks.” She peered out at the cars on the street piling up as the light turned red. “It was incredibly good Samaritan of you.”
“I try.”
“Well,” she swung her gaze from him to the crosswalk and back, “thanks—sorry I didn’t catch your name.”
“Logan.” He straightened himself. “And you?”
“Brooke.”
“Enjoy your Oreos and bread,” he smiled, making his eyes twinkle. The knots in her stomach loosened. “It was nice meeting you.”
“Thanks again for the food.” The crosswalk light lit up, and she pointed at it. “I’d better go. Have a nice life, Logan.” Then she genuinely smiled.
“You too.”
Swiftly, she entered the crosswalk and left Logan standing on the corner.
She wondered if he lived nearby, and what hospital he worked at.
If this was a romcom, he would’ve jogged after her or at least asked for her number before she disappeared.
But it wasn’t, not even close. If anything, her life was one of those awful dark comedies where everyone else laughed but her.
The highlight of her day would be to eat bread and Oreos, alone.
Her skin itched to peer back over her shoulder to see if Logan still stood on the corner, but she forced herself to keep walking.
The aroma of bread wafted out of her bag.
Her hand dipped inside the warm bag, and she ripped a piece off and bit into it.
When the perfectly warm bread hit her lips, she sighed.
It tasted heavenly. Why did it taste this good?
She polished off the piece she had and tore another chunk to eat.
Another L train raced above her, making her body tremor as it passed.
Bitter air nipped at her exposed skin, and she wished she had remembered a jacket on the way out.
Despite it, her insides were warm and full of bread.
Instead of crying on her walk home, she thought of Logan and his simple act of kindness.
She knew she would find a way to pay it forward and purchase someone else’s groceries when their credit card didn’t work.
She ate and walked then ate some more. Her apartment wasn’t far, only a few blocks from the grocery store.
Despite the close distance, by the time she rounded the corner to her building, she had managed to polish off half her loaf of bread.
In front of her apartment building was George, her friend, and the building security guard. He lived in the building with his wife.
Brooke tucked the loaf back into her brown bag and waved.
George waved back and held the door open as she approached. “Good evening. You’re back fast. I thought you said you were going on a long walk,” he teased.
“Long enough to get some much-needed essentials.” She shook her bag as she entered the building. “I lost my desire for a long walk as soon as I entered the grocery store.”
“Oh, okay.” George chuckled as he followed her inside the building and closed the door behind them, but he lingered in front of the door. “At least you managed to buy dinner?” He raised an eyebrow.
“Yep,” Brooke beamed. “Exactly.”
“Did you have a long day at the hospital?” George readjusted his leather gloves.
Brooke enjoyed his company and appreciated his friendly greetings when she came and went.
George knew she lived alone and that she didn’t have any family to speak of.
Her mom had died a while ago, and her dad up and left one day when she was a kid and never came back.
Brooke asked about her dad a few times after he left, but then her mom told her he died, and she knew enough to not ask any more questions.
“So long.” She hesitated. “Also, Justin and I broke up. If he stops by do not let him up to my apartment.”
“Did you finally give him the boot?” George buttoned the top two buttons of his coat.
Over the three years she had lived in the building, they had developed a camaraderie she enjoyed.
George was about thirty years her senior.
With the age difference, he became a sounding board for her different life experiences.
He always managed to give her good advice when she was faced with some sort of obstacle.
“I wish. It sure would make for a better story.” Brooke sighed making her shoulders droop. “He left me for someone shinier, brighter, and younger.”
The sting of saying it out loud made it feel like a quick swift kick to the gut. The bread in her belly churned and made her nauseous.
“Ahh, then you dodged a bullet.” He spotted another resident coming inside, and he opened the door and held it for them.
Brooke lingered, because she needed to talk this entire thing through with someone.
George waited until the resident crossed the lobby to the elevators to continue, “Nobody should be saddled with an idiot.”
Brooke laughed. “I think the patients at the hospital would beg to differ. Justin is well-respected among our colleagues, and the patients love him. I mean he has that dreamy doctor persona down.”
George shook his head. “I don’t care what the patients or your co-workers say about him, the guy is an idiot.
” He cupped his gloved hands together. “Didn’t he try to blame you when all his whites in the wash turned blue?
And it was only because he threw a pair of jeans in with his socks and underwear? ”
“I can’t believe you remember that.” Brooke cradled her brown paper bag to her chest. “I had completely forgotten that happened.” Then she laughed, making the tension in her chest ease a bit. “I guess he does lack what people call street smarts.”
Justin grew up privileged while Brooke grew up in total dysfunction.
Her desire to become a doctor was part love of medicine and part desire to create stability for herself.
The moment she turned eighteen and graduated from high school, she left.
When she packed up her stuff, her mom never even asked where she was going.
Not once did she call to find out if she was safe.
Brooke knew her mom was probably never sober long enough to notice her absence.
For years, she managed to be alone in the world.
She grew accustomed to not having a safety net, a loving family or parents.
But when she met Justin, through her best friend, Aubrey and her fiancé Ian, suddenly she wasn’t alone.
She was part of a pair, and part of a friend group.
This meant Brooke wasn’t eating Christmas dinner standing up in her kitchen.
Thanksgiving she found herself around a table with nice linen, real china, and people who knew how to say an entire sentence without a long string of swear words.
When the red flags with Justin started to pop up, Brooke looked past them.
Being with him certainly beat being alone.
Sure, she didn’t like his arrogant attitude or his condescending tone when he explained things to her.
But who didn’t make some compromises when it came to relationships?
So, she accepted their relationship with all its flaws, because for once in her life she belonged somewhere.
Then she never expected in her wildest dreams, Justin would be the one who didn’t choose her, because she thought she was the one making all the concessions.
“And didn’t he try to get his money back after he ate a whole cherry pie, but the label on the packaging said it was peach,” George said as he raised an eyebrow.
“Stop it.” Brooke laughed again, grateful George wanted to cheer her up. “Ok. You have a point. I’m better off without him. He did have a tendency to act entitled.”
“Yes. You’re better off.” George peered out the front door, double checking for any residents on their way inside.
She wished she felt better off.
Instead, she only felt more alone.
“But one big problem, I have my best friend’s wedding coming up.” Brooke shuffled her feet. “And Justin is going to be the best man, and I’m one of the bridesmaids. I can’t wiggle my way out of it, and now I need a plus one.”
The detail seemed minuscule, but it haunted her, nonetheless.
Her best friend, Aubrey happened to be marrying the man of her dreams, Justin’s best friend, Ian.
And being dumped this close to the wedding meant she needed a date.
To add salt to the wound, she’d no doubt have to endure an entire day watching him cuddled up with his new girlfriend.
“Last I checked you worked at a hospital with tons of doctor friends roaming the halls. Ask one of them to go with you. Better yet, ask one of them to go and pretend to be your new boyfriend, which will make Justin green with envy. Suddenly, his new shiny and bright thing won’t look so sparkly.”
“Wow, don’t you have all the answers tonight?” Brooke moved toward the elevator. “Thanks for the advice. I probably won’t take it, but thank you, nonetheless. I’ll talk to you later.”
“Have a nice evening.” George went back to his post outside of the building.
Brooke clutched the brown bag to her chest after she hit the elevator button and waited for it to arrive at the lobby. The doors dinged then swung open, she crawled into the elevator and hit her floor button.
Maybe she could call in sick tomorrow? But she knew slinking away wasn’t her style.
Instead, she planned on eating her Oreos while she cried.
Come tomorrow, she’ll dust herself off, square her shoulders and go back to work.
If things became too unbearable, she could always relocate.
She wasn’t married to this place, maybe a new hospital in a new city was just what she needed.
Brooke moved to Chicago after medical school and took a great job offer at the hospital here.
The city’s lower cost of living made it more attractive than the other big cities on the East Coast. Then shortly after her move, she made friends with Aubrey, met Justin, and she thought she’d live here forever.
Chicago was a great city. It had enough of everything to keep her around.
But if seeing Justin every day at work became too much to handle, she’d apply for a new job in a new city and leave. She let the idea settle in her mind, helping her regain control. Today she wouldn’t spiral. One always had choices, you only needed to give yourself permission to see them all.
Once she made it into the comfort of her apartment, she settled onto her brown leather sofa and didn’t even bother removing her shoes as she kicked her feet up onto her coffee table.
Then she dug back into her grocery bag and retrieved her packet of Oreos.
She peeled back the top of the plastic film top and ate five in rapid succession.
The taste of chocolate didn’t even register.
Brooke turned on a true crime show to keep from thinking and reminded herself breakup calories didn’t count.
At some point, she drifted to sleep.
Her dreams were a mixture of bread, Oreos, and Logan. The guy she would never see again.