Chapter 17
Logan adjusted the lapel of his sports coat and knocked on the door of Shelby’s house.
His heart pounded in his chest so loudly it made his temples pulsate.
His thoughts were scattered but kept drifting back to Brooke.
He hadn’t talked to or heard from her in over two weeks, and his fingers twitched at the idea of holding her again.
But here he was picking up another woman for a date after agonizing over what to do for too long.
How had he managed to make a mess of everything?
Why had he listened to everyone else but the voice in his own head?
The door swung open, revealing Shelby. She had dressed to kill in a form-fitting crimson cocktail dress.
“Hey.” Shelby smiled brightly. Tension in his shoulders eased slowly out of his body. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Yes.” He stepped closer and leaned in for a hug. She moved into his arms. “I’m glad we are doing this.”
“Me too.” She squeezed him again then broke their embrace. “Let me grab my coat.”
Shelby disappeared inside. Logan peered over his shoulder across the street to his sister’s house.
He spotted her staring at him through the front living room window.
Instead of growing angry, he waved. His sister darted away and closed the drapes in a hurry.
He shifted back to face Shelby’s front door.
She appeared a minute later with a coat slung over her arm.
“Do you mind helping me into this?” Shelby asked as she locked her front door.
“Sure.”
“Thanks.” Shelby handed him her coat. He held it open. She slipped her arms inside then readjusted her hair that had tucked inside the collar. “Okay. I think I’m ready.”
“Great.” Logan motioned for her to go first.
They wandered down her walkway to where his car was parked at the curb.
When she arrived at his car door, Shelby swiveled to face him. “So, where are you taking me?”
Logan scratched his chin. “A restaurant Danielle suggested. She said your favorite food is sushi. That’s certainly a change. If I remember correctly, Hawaiian pizza used to be your favorite.” He cocked an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” she gave him a playful shove, “but I was like seventeen. I’m happy to say my tastebuds have matured. I’ve ventured beyond takeout pizza.”
“There’s nothing wrong with Hawaiian pizza. I still get a hankering for it every now and then, and whenever I do order it, I tend to always think of you.”
Heat rose up his neck. The words had tumbled out without him thinking.
They weren’t untrue. He did think about Shelby every single time he ate Hawaiian pizza, but he hated how much he thought about her.
If he had a choice, he never wanted her to grace his thoughts with longing again.
Most likely, Shelby hadn’t thought about him once until she returned to town divorced and alone.
He fumbled for the passenger car door, opening it for her. She slipped around him and slid into her seat. Then she gazed up at him. “I think about you every time I eat Snickers bars. You used to pound them after your sports games.”
His lips twitched. “I haven’t eaten a Snickers bar in years.”
The thought made his mouth taste like lead. Shelby forgot she mocked him once for eating them so quickly. She pointed it out and laughed at him. A memory he had tucked away tightly, and it had only wiggled to the surface at her prodding.
“Too bad, they are one of my favorites.”
“Ahh,” Logan managed.
He shut her door then rounded the car. A flash of memories from the past came roaring back.
Snapshots he had long forgotten, ones which added up to Shelby being overly critical of him.
She always had a way of making him feel like nothing.
But through the softening lens of time, he had forgotten these parts, until now.
The frigid air nipped at his skin and managed to cool off his flushed neck and cheeks.
When he slid into his spot behind the steering wheel, he knew this entire evening would begin and end with the same foregone conclusion.
Brooke is who he wanted sitting beside him, but he started the engine to let the warm air from the vent defrost the windshield.
Let’s get this over.
“I still can’t believe you’re a surgeon,” Shelby said, breaking the silence.
Logan shifted in his seat to face her as the windshield cleared.
“Why? Is it so unbelievable I made something of myself?” He tried his best to keep his voice even and undeterred, but he hated how her doubt made him feel small.
Like he only mattered now, due to his profession, and not before when she ditched him for something bigger and flashier.
“Honestly,” Shelby scrunched her nose, “and don’t take this the wrong way, but I always figured you’d end up never leaving town, flipping burgers at McDonald’s.”
His jaw clenched. He didn’t take her words the wrong way, in fact he took them exactly for what they were. Comments she had made from way back when flooded his mind. And none of them were good.
The windshield cleared of fog enough to drive. He forced himself to take a deep settling breath before he tugged the car away from the curb. “I guess you were wrong.” Logan eased onto the street.
The words landed and silence filled the car.
Shelby huffed. “There’s no need to get defensive.” She whipped her hair over one shoulder. “Even you have to admit you were an idiot back then.”
“How so?” Logan flipped on his blinker. “What would have given you the indication that I didn’t have high aspirations for my life? I had good grades. Please enlighten me.”
This evening was a mistake. He hated himself for being persuaded to go out on this date.
Sure, Brooke wanted him to. Danielle had certainly championed it, but he hated how many years he had yearned for a woman who was nothing like the person he imagined in his mind.
Years wasted with longing when he should have been wise enough to step back and come to see her breaking up with him had been a blessing.
A blessing which kept him from spending years with the wrong person.
“I don’t know—” her voice trailed off. She peered out her passenger side window. “I never thought you would have it in you to go do that much schooling. I figured you’d drop out and move back home and live in your parents’ basement.”
The words stung. But the truth stared back at him. Shelby never believed in him, and he needed to be with someone who would love and champion every part of him, someone like Brooke.
“But I did make something of myself despite your utter lack of confidence in my abilities. And now you’re interested in me.” He made a sharp turn into the parking lot of the restaurant and found a spot two rows back. “I wasn’t enough for you then but now—”
“I’m sorry I brought that up.” Shelby squeezed his bicep. “I think you’re getting me wrong. This doesn’t need to be some harsh rehash of the past. I’m impressed with what you have accomplished. Isn’t that enough?”
“Maybe it isn’t.” He unbuckled his seatbelt and shifted to face her. “Is that why you dumped me? Because you didn’t believe I had a future?”
“No.” Shelby dropped her hand from his bicep. “I dumped you, because—” She shook her head then fidgeted with the ends of her hair. “It was a long time ago. The past is in the past.”
“I’ve wondered for years. One minute we’re dancing at prom, planning our lives together, and the next minute you dumped me.
Then you fled town with no explanation.” He shifted to get a better view of her.
“You didn’t even respond to any of my calls or text messages. How could that not affect someone?”
Shelby spun some hair around one of her fingers. “But it was years ago.”
“And yet here we are.” Logan rubbed the back of his neck.
This entire evening had been a huge mistake; one he promised to never make again.
This was the first and last time he let his family interfere with his relationships.
And this is the last time he ever wanted to think about Shelby.
Maybe this date was a good idea. “Honestly, you owe me a reason. So, I’ll wait. ”
Shelby took a deep breath then ran her finger across the condensation on her window. “I made out with Grant Sullivan after the final basketball game.”
His blood ran cold. Grant Sullivan. They had been best friends through high school, but Grant pulled away from him toward the end of their senior year. He turned down several invitations Logan offered to hang out. The missing puzzle piece dropped into place.
“You had gone to some sort of family reunion that weekend.” Shelby traced some more on the window. “I don’t know why I kissed him. I always knew he had a thing for me, and so when he walked me to my car and leaned in, I kissed him back. It wasn’t a huge deal. I had already decided we were done.”
“So, everyone knew but me.” Logan stared out the windshield. “Thanks for telling me.”
“Really?” Shelby questioned with far too much hope in her voice.
“Yeah, thanks.” His neck ached. “I can lay that part of my life to bed.”
Shelby shifted closer and leaned over the center console. “Does this mean you’re ready to give us another go?”
“No.” Logan fidgeted with his keys then removed them from the ignition. “I never said that.” He sighed. “I know we’re better off as friends.”
“Because you’re in love with Brooke?” Shelby offered.
Love. The word ricocheted back and forth in his mind. He waited for the panic to set in, the urge to argue with her, but instead he let it land and settle. Did he love Brooke?
“I might be.” He folded his arms and leaned his back against the seat.
“I knew it.” Shelby shifted. They stared across the parking lot toward the restaurant. “I saw the way you looked at her. You used to look at me that way, and I was too dumb and na?ve to appreciate it.”
Logan didn’t argue. Instead, he started the engine and said, “I think I should take you home.”
“Yes,” Shelby said. “Please take me home.”