Chapter 24 #2
I stare at my half-eaten sandwich, the taste of goat cheese and lemon suddenly too sharp on my tongue.
“I know,” I whisper. “And I hate that I’ve made you feel that way.”
Before I can say anything else, my throat tightens. My eyes sting. And tears start to fall. I’m not a crier. I don’t sob, I don’t show my emotions.
And yet here I am, crying into a crusty sandwich on the beach like a hormonal cliché.
Autumn doesn’t say anything. She doesn’t need to. She just pulls me into her arms and holds me tight, like she used to when we were little and I scraped my knee or had a nightmare.
Her embrace is warm and steady, her hand stroking my hair. God, it feels good.
“I’m sorry,” I mumble into her shoulder. “You’re the one who’s supposed to be emotional.”
“You don’t have to be sorry,” she murmurs. “I’m here, sweetie. You just have to let me in.”
I nod, because I don’t trust myself to speak.
She pulls back slightly, brushing a tear from my cheek with her thumb. “So…” Her voice softens even more, like she knows I need a change of subject. “Is this about Bennett?”
I blink. “Bennett?”
“You know who I’m talking about.” She rolls her eyes at me. “The guy you’ve been parading around town with and ignoring my messages about.”
I pull back and shake my head. “No. It’s not Bennett. It’s West.”
Autumn frowns in the way only a big sister can. “What did he do this time?”
There’s a lump in my throat as big as a boulder. I promised I wouldn’t say anything. And I hate breaking promises. But this is killing me. “I’ve fallen for him.”
For a moment Autumn says nothing. The only sound is the soft lapping of the waves against the shore.
“Wait,” she says, shaking her head like she must have misheard. Or maybe she hopes she did. “You and… West? You’re a thing? Or is it just one sided. Please tell me you haven’t slept with him.”
“Don’t say it like that.”
She groans. “Like what? Like it’s unbelievable? Like I can’t believe my baby sister is hooking up with a guy almost twice her age?” She frowns. “Oh sweetie, no. You can’t do this. Not with West. He’s everything you hate. All smooth and sophisticated and completely amoral.”
“I know.” There’s a half sob stuck in my throat. “But he’s not like that. Not really.”
Her eyes hold mine. “He is.”
“And he’s not too old. He’s the same age as Parker, and you’re married to him.”
“West is a hundred years older than Parker in every way. Sometimes I think he has a painting in an attic somewhere. Honey, you can’t fall for him.” She leans forward, another thought occurring to her. “Does he know how you feel?”
Inappropriate laughter bubbles in my throat. “That I’m falling for him?” I shake my head. “I haven’t told him.”
“Good. It’s likely just a crush, ignore it. Find anybody more appropriate than him.” She wrinkles her nose. “He’ll eat you for breakfast.”
“He already did.” I let out a breath. “I didn’t explain this right. We’re already doing stuff.” I close my eyes. In for a penny and all that. “And we’re married.”
Autumn starts to choke. Proper, chicken ciabatta in her throat, gasping for air, spittle everywhere choking. Can you do the Heimlich maneuver on a pregnant woman? Hell, how do I even do the Heimlich maneuver? I roll onto my knees, ready to fish that damn sandwich out of her throat if I have to.
But then she coughs up the chunk of sandwich, and I wince.
When she’s finally located her voice box, she looks at me with watery eyes. “What in the actual hell, Eden?”
“I’m sorry. I was going to tell you.”
“No you weren’t. But now you’re telling me everything since you almost killed me.” She gives me the most pointed look. The kind she’d give me when I used to hide the last bit of candy because I was saving them for later and she needed a sugar fix now. “Spill.”
So I do. I lay it all out, from the confrontation in the casino to West stepping in to try to smooth things over. To our agreement, and the way it was supposed to be platonic. A business deal. And then, how it isn’t anymore.
Not once does Autumn interrupt, which must be some kind of record for her. She just stares at me, her mouth agape, her eyes widening with every confession. And when I finally stop for air, she reaches for my face, cupping it.
“You’re married. To West,” she breathes, like she’s trying the words out.
“Yes.”
“And you’ve had sex with him. Multiple times.”
“Also yes.” I nod.
“And you’re falling for him, even though you know it’s the most idiotic, potentially heartbreaking thing you can do. And you know that he’s all wrong for you and it’ll never work and it’s all going to end up breaking you.”
“This is not helping,” I point out. “You’re supposed to be on my side here.” I sigh. “I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“No, you should have said something sooner. I could have sent Hudson over to castrate him as soon as I heard this stupid idea that the two of you were husband and wife. What were you thinking?” She shakes her head.
“More importantly, what the hell was he thinking? I love the guy, but this is so unlike him.”
“I know,” I whisper, feeling suddenly vulnerable.
Her brows knit. “I don’t know what to say. No wonder you’re confused.” She leans her head toward me until our brows are touching, and for a moment we just stay there. Though neither of us speak, it’s strange how less alone I feel right now.
How comforting it is to be with the sister I’ve been avoiding for years.
“Do you think he likes me too?” I ask her.
“West? I’m not sure he’s capable of liking anybody like that.”
“That’s not true. He’s always been there for Hudson. For Parker. For all of us. He’s married to me because he’s trying to save this stupid resort.” I understand why she looks so confused. Of all the people in the world you’d ever put together, West and I would probably be the last.
Yet every time I think of the way he looked at me last night my heart aches. The way he whines when he’s down. The way he lets me take care of him. The way he makes me laugh.
“It’s such a mess,” I whisper.
“It’s going to be even more of a mess when Hudson finds out. And Asher.”
I lean forward, panicking. “You can’t tell them. You can’t tell anybody. Seriously, West’ll kill me if he finds out I told you.”
“You really think you can hide this from them?” she asks me, looking skeptical.
“We’ve done it for this long. You didn’t even suspect a thing. You thought I was with Bennett.”
She sighs. “This is true. I’m losing my touch. I hate that.” She looks at me. “I’m worried about you.”
“You’re always worried about me.”
“But this is West. The man who doesn’t do deep. He doesn’t do relationships. We’ve both seen his revolving door of beautiful women.”
My chest tightens. I think about that photo. Of the woman who wasn’t in a beautiful dress, whose hair wasn’t perfect.
A woman like me.
Autumn watches me for a beat, then lets out a sigh so dramatic I almost laugh. “Okay. Fine. I won’t tell Hudson or Asher.”
“Thank you.” Relief washes over me like the tide.
She clears her throat. “But I am telling Parker.”
My eyes widen. “Autumn!” Oh my God. For a second it feels like my heart is going to fly out of my chest.
“He’s my husband,” she says with a shrug. “We don’t have secrets.”
I groan and bury my face in my hands.
“You need a distraction,” she says, already tapping on her phone.
“I’ll plan a girls’ night. I’m messaging Skyler and Francie.
Sadie from the bookstore, too. I’ll make mocktails and you,” she says, giving me a look, “are going to put on something cute and pretend you’re not hopelessly falling for our brother’s best friend. ”
She stands, brushing the crumbs from her leggings with a graceful grunt. “Meanwhile, Parker’s going to invite West to our place.”
My mouth opens. “Eden. No—”
“They can have a guys' night,” she says sweetly. “Just the two of them. Nothing you need to worry about at all.” Then she gives me the killer line. “Don’t you think that West deserves to spend time with a friend too?” A smile pulls at her lips, like she’s enjoying this way too much.
“Come on, it’s going to be fun. And you need this. ”
Sure I do. Like I need to catch the plague. Because girls’ night, I can cope with.
But West spending time with Parker? He really isn’t going to be happy about that. And I have a feeling I’m going to be the one he blames for this.