Chapter 30
thirty
EDEN
The next few hours are a blur of dancing, champagne, and West’s hand never once leaving my body. He introduces me to producers, directors, and a handful of stars I’ve only ever seen on a screen.
It’s close to ten-thirty when Bennett weaves back through the crowd toward us, his cheeks flushed and his grin wide.
“You’ll never believe it,” he says, breathless.
“I just had a tequila shot with Emma Stone. She told me I have great eyebrows. And Robert De Niro – Robert freaking De Niro – gave me dating advice. He said, and I quote, ‘Don’t be an asshole.’”
West squeezes my hand like he’s trying not to laugh.
A waiter passes and Bennett grabs a champagne flute from him. I have no idea how much he’s drunk, but the pinkness of his face makes me think he might be at the top end of double digits.
“Should we try to sober our boy up?” I murmur to West.
He takes the champagne from Bennett. “Come on, let’s introduce you to some money men.” He lifts his brow then murmurs to me, “This should send him to sleep.”
I know what he’s doing. Playing it down, when underneath he’s desperate to pull Bennett away from his uncle’s shadow. It’s that mix of tenderness and control that makes my chest ache.
So I let him slip into boss mode and step back, leaving the two of them to it. The ballroom is hot, my head light from champagne, and my nerves are still humming from all the dancing. I need a moment to breathe.
The marble floor is hard under my heels as I weave through the crowd, slipping past clusters of men in tuxedos and women dripping in diamonds. But before I can make it to the bathroom I bump into Victoria Markham.
“Eden!” Her voice cuts through the buzz, bright and commanding. “Come with me, there’s someone I’d love for you to meet.”
Before I can tell her I need to use the bathroom, she’s steering me toward the bar, her hand warm on my arm. And that’s when I see her.
Selena looks me over, slow and deliberate, like she’s trying to find fault. “We’ve already met.” She extends a perfectly manicured hand and I take it.
“Selena and West used to date,” Victoria adds breezily, sipping her champagne. “I figured you two could compare notes.”
My stomach jolts, but I force a smile. “I don’t think West comes with a manual,” I say lightly, even though Victoria’s words hit me right in the chest.
Selena’s lips curve, but her eyes never soften. “Oh, he does. You’ll learn.”
“Ms. Markham, there’s a problem in the kitchen,” a man murmurs, leaning close to Victoria. “We need you.”
“Shit.” Victoria wrinkles her nose. “Seriously? Now?”
“It’s only a small leak.”
Victoria sighs, handing off her glass. “Fine. Try to be good girls while I’m gone.”
She sweeps away, and the air between Selena and me sharpens.
“So,” she murmurs, taking a sip of her champagne. “I guess I should hand it to you. You managed to do the impossible.” She lifts her glass. “To taming the untameable. You’ll have to tell me your secret.”
“He’s not exactly a wild beast,” I say lightly.
“I guess not. More of a closed book.” She lets out a breath. “How long did it take him to tell you about Leona?”
“His nanny?” I say. “That was very sad.”
“I know,” she says, leaning in. “Can you believe he was the one who found her dead? The trauma of it was awful.”
I blink, making it obvious I didn’t know.
“Oh. He hasn’t told you that part?” Her eyes widen with excitement. “That’s strange. Surely he should’ve. It tells you all you need to know about the man and why he’s so damn impenetrable.”
“Don’t worry,” she tells me, sounding almost sympathetic.
“I’m sure he’ll tell you eventually. When he can get his brain out of his pants long enough to talk.
I mean, who wouldn’t want to know that the man they married found his beloved nanny lifeless in front of his eyes when he was only twelve years old? ”
The words slam into me, stealing my breath. I try to picture West as a boy, watching someone he loved die in front of him, and my chest aches.
Selena smiles at me like she’s won a game I didn’t know we were playing.
“Excuse me, I need to use the bathroom,” I say, my hands shaking. The words sound flimsy, even to me, but it’s all I can manage as I step past her perfume cloud. My pulse thunders in my ears, drowning out the music and chatter around us.
All I can think is that she knows parts of him I don’t, pieces he never offered me. And it hurts.
WEST
I check my watch, wondering if eleven is too soon to leave the party and head for our hotel. We’ve done our bit, after all. I’ve danced with my wife, made it clear I don’t intend to hide her, and I’ve introduced Bennett to more than a dozen people who can make or break careers.
Right now he’s leaning on the bar, talking to the daughter of one of them, grinning like he’s about to ask for her number.
He’s fine holding his own. But Eden… I haven’t seen her in more than half an hour, and seeing as I’ve spent the last few hours with her in arm’s reach, that scratches at me in ways I don’t like.
“I’m going to find Eden and we’re heading out,” I say, touching Bennett’s arm. “You okay to find your own way back to the hotel?”
“Yup.” He nods, flashing me a tipsy grin. “All good.”
I give him a sharp look, then turn away, scanning the room for a glimpse of blue silk.
“Looking for someone?” Victoria’s voice cuts through the hum, smooth and amused. She’s standing by the edge of the bar, sequins catching the light, champagne glass in hand.
“My wife.”
Her smile quirks. “She was with Selena a little bit ago.”
“What?” My jaw tightens. If I thought I was annoyed before, I definitely am now. “Why? Where did they go?”
“Well, Selena’s there,” she says, pointing over at the corner, where my ex is talking to a group of her girlfriends. One of them looks over at me then back at her, whispering something.
Selena’s eyes meet mine.
“And Eden?”
“I’m not sure.” Victoria shrugs. “Now please excuse me, I have two plumbers currently trying to stop the great flood in the kitchen.” She kisses the air half an inch from my face. “By the way, your wife is very lovely.”
Yes, she is. And I’d really like to find her right now. I storm over to where Selena is still watching me. “Where is she?” I ask her.
“Hello to you, too,” Selena replies, rolling her eyes at her friends. “Girls, you remember West, right?”
“Oh, we remember him,” the brunette next to her says. “You were the subject of many emergency lunches at the Ivy.”
Their laughter makes my skin prickle. “Glad to be of assistance.”
They start talking again, and I lift my phone from my pocket and try calling her. It goes straight to voicemail. I leave a frustrated message asking her where she is and to call me back, then I walk across the ballroom, checking every corner in case she’s in there somewhere.
It takes ten long minutes of scanning every hallway and room before I find her upstairs, in the library of all places, standing with her back to me, staring out of the window at the dark, moonlit ocean.
Relief slams into me. For a second I don’t move, don’t speak. I just watch her, the soft glow of the moon painting her curls a deep red, her skin pale and luminous against the glass. Mine, yet a million miles away.
The voice in my head won’t shut up. She’s too good. Too young. Too damn innocent for me.
And still, I move toward her. Because I’ve never been the kind of man who does the right thing. “Eden?”
Her shoulders tense at the sound of my voice. It takes her a long minute to turn around, and when she does I almost wish she hadn’t.
Her eyes are red. Her mascara has run, leaving smudges of black on her cheeks. My annoyance is replaced by pure fury. Who made her cry? Who did this to her?
I’m going to kill Selena.
“What happened?” The way I say it, softly, like I’m talking to a wounded animal, makes her wince.
She shakes her head. “Nothing.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose between my thumb and fingers. “You’re upset. We talked about this. If you need to talk you should come to me.”
Eden swallows hard. “Ditto.”
“What?” I frown, not understanding.
“You promised you’d talk to me too. Stop hiding everything.”
I have no idea what she’s talking about, but I’d lay a bet Selena said something. “I’m not hiding.”
“No? Then why didn’t you tell me about Leona. About how she died. That you were the one who found her?” Her voice is low. “You told her, but you never told me.”
“Selena has a big mouth.”
“Can you imagine how delighted she was that you hadn’t told your little wife, but you’d told her?” Her lips tremble.
I let out a low breath. “I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t important.”
“Not important?” she says, her voice cracking. “You were twelve, West. You found the woman you loved, the woman who was like your mother, dead. Why didn’t you tell me?”
I let out a breath, fear suddenly washing over me.
I can’t lose her. I can’t.
“Because I blamed myself.” There it is. “And I don’t want you to blame me too.”
I press my forehead against the cool wooden bookshelf next to me, my heart beating so fast I’m scared I’m on the verge of an attack. “I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be what you need. All I know is that the thought of losing you makes me want to tear the whole damn world apart.”
“West…” Her voice is quiet, broken. “You’re not losing me. I just want in. I want the truth, not lies that you think will protect me.”
I turn, the words tumbling out before I can stop them.
“You want honesty? Here it is. I’m a coward.
I hide the shit that broke me because I don’t want it touching you.
You’re the only good thing I’ve ever had, and I swear to everything holy, Eden, if you walk away from me tonight, I won’t survive it. ”
The silence between us is thick. I drop to my knees. Pride doesn’t matter anymore. Not if it means keeping her. My hands slide around her waist, my cheek pressed to her stomach as I look up at her. “Don’t leave me. Not when I’m finally yours.”
I can hear her breathing. Shallow and rapid. Can feel it against my cheek. Her hand flutters against my face, then strokes my hair. Like she’s trying to calm me. Her nails against my scalp feel like oxygen to my lungs. As if she’s pulling me back from the cliff edge I’ve spent my life balancing on.
I breathe her in, letting her comfort me, even though I’m the asshole who should be doing the comforting. “Tell me I haven’t lost you.”
Her breath catches, and her fingers tighten in my hair. “You haven’t,” she murmurs, but her voice trembles. “But if you keep shutting me out, if you keep locking away the pieces that made you who you are, then I can’t… I can’t be the only one bleeding here.”
I press my face harder against her stomach, arms tightening around her like I can anchor her in place. “Then let me bleed for you. However you need it. However you’ll have me. I’ll give you everything, Eden. Even the parts I swore nobody would ever see.”
Her hand keeps stroking, softer now, like she’s already letting me back in. And I want her so bad it’s a physical ache. I look up, our eyes locking. Her lips are parted, her breathing softer now.
All I can think is that she’s mine.
She drops to her knees in front of me, and it’s such an act of acceptance I feel a sob forming in my throat. Damn it, I hate emotion. I hate all of it.
I just want her. Nothing else. I reach for her face, using my thumbs to wipe away the dampness on her cheeks. And she stares at me, like I’m the one who can make everything better.
“Eden,” I say hoarsely.
“Kiss me, West.”
It’s like she can read my mind. My body.
Maybe even my dark soul. I lean forward.
Her breath mingles with mine, shaky and hot, and I can taste the salt of her tears before our lips even touch.
Then I press my mouth against hers, harder than I intend, tangling my fingers into her hair as I claim her.
She groans, low and hard, her fingertips scratching my face, my body. I can’t tell where I end and she begins, all I know is that I can’t stop this. This attraction, this need to reclaim her.
Her dress bunches around her hips before I know my hands are moving, silk sliding over my knuckles as she pushes me back. Then she’s straddling me, hot and wild, her mouth fused to mine. There’s no patience, no teasing.
I yank at my zipper, shove my trousers down just far enough, and she sinks onto me in one frantic thrust that rips a groan from my throat. Her cry is muffled by my mouth, her nails biting into my shoulders as I grip her hips and hold her on me, desperate, savage, perfect.
Fuck.
She rides me hard, her hips snapping against mine, her dress bunched at her waist, her breath shuddering against my mouth.
I hold her, locked to me, giving her every dark, jagged piece of myself I’ve spent years burying.
Her whimpers melt into our kiss, her body trembling as I thrust into her, raw and unrelenting, desperate for her to know I’m hers.
“Eden,” I rasp against her lips, the word a plea, a vow, a surrender.
Her fingers fist in my hair, her body clenching around me, and then she breaks apart, crying out as she shudders and falls. I go with her, crushing her to me, spilling into her with a groan that feels torn from my chest.
I don’t let her go. Not even when my body is wracked with aftershocks. I hold her tight, her cheek pressed against mine, and whisper how beautiful she is. How perfect.
Mine.
She collapses against me, spent. Boneless. Her face still damp with tears, her mouth swollen from our kisses.
But when she looks at me I see it. The strength. The fire.
The knowledge that I belong to her.
“Can we leave now?” I ask her, brushing away the hair that’s clinging to her cheek. “And as soon as we’re back I want to tell your family about us. I want this all in the open. I’m tired of lying, I’m tired of hiding. I just want you.”
“Yes,” she says, sounding stronger now, her gaze catching mine. “No more lies. We’ve already told too many.”
I nod. “Exactly.” And for the first time since I walked into this library, I feel like I can breathe again.