Chapter 15
Oliver
The pub is like many others in the city.
Wooden picnic tables on the pavement outside, pubgoers hunched over them, vapes in hand, hoods up against the cold November air.
There’s a sign hanging over the door, a lamb dancing with a chicken drawn in gold and green, the pub’s name in bold letters beneath it.
The windows are fogged up, and each one holds a different flyer, advertising the pub’s weekly events.
Live sports on the television. Karaoke nights and pub quizzes.
The latter being the reason I’m standing outside right now, though I can’t bring myself to open the door.
Darius is inside, surrounded by a group of his friends.
I haven’t seen him since I returned from France and while there hasn’t been another call like the one before Halloween, we’ve spoken every day.
That call changed things between us, and I haven’t been able to get it out of my head, or my dreams. The way he’d writhed on the bed, sweat coating his skin, those tiny fucking shorts, my name on his lips – it was all so beautiful and perfect and everything I could have wished for.
The way he’d looked at me after, his blue eyes shining, every emotion he was feeling written on his face, hiding nothing from me – that meant more than the earth-shattering orgasm.
Once I walk into that pub and get the chance to hold him again, I know I will never be able to let him go and that scares me, because the other shoe always drops and I don’t think I’d survive losing him.
Before I can give in to my urge to flee, the pub door opens and a dark-haired man steps out.
I’d know him anywhere. I even thought I may have loved him once.
But now, as I look at Caiden, his eyes cast down at his phone, I feel only a kinship for the life we shared before and for the two sad boys who sought comfort in each other in the only way they understood how.
Caiden looks up, his eyes catching mine. There’s no smile there, just a hard stare that tells me he’s not pleased to see me, yet he’s not surprised either. Which means Darius has told him about us – or at the very least, that we’re friends.
Even if now we’re so much more.
“Oliver.” He takes a step closer. “Darius said you were coming.”
“Where is he?” I ask, looking over his shoulder.
“He’s inside. With Jamie.”
A knot forms in my stomach, my anxiety ratcheting up, and I do the thing I’ve always done when I feel like this – I put my walls up and become the version of me that is impenetrable.
“Ah, your knight in shining armour. How sweet.” I tip my head at Caiden. “You look good, pretty boy.” The old term of endearment slips from my tongue and I hate it as much as I’m sure Caiden does. “Fucking your stepbrother really makes you glow.”
Caiden flinches, but he doesn’t back away. He only shakes his head, exasperation clear in his voice. “Once an asshole, always an asshole, I see.”
I open my hands, palms up. “You never had complaints before.”
“Look.” He steps closer, gesturing over his shoulder. “I don’t get what Darius sees in you, but it’s not up to me who he likes. Whether there is something more than friendship between you two is none of my business. Just try not to hurt him, okay?”
My hackles raise and I drop my voice. “I would never hurt him.” I need Caiden to believe me. I may be an asshole and sure, I push people away, but I would never harm someone.
He nods. “I hope that’s true. But you forget that I know you, Oliver.”
No, he fucking doesn’t, but that’s not what frustrates me about his words.
“I never hurt you, Caiden.” My comment seems to catch him by surprise. His lips part before closing again, and he tugs on the cord of his black hoodie. “We weren’t good for each other, but I never – ”
His shoulders sag as he interrupts me. “I know. I’m sorry if I implied that.
You’re right, we weren’t good for each other, but that’s on both of us.
” I don’t tell him how badly it hurt when he let me go, because there’s no use opening old wounds and, if every day is a journey with bumps that change the trajectory of our lives, then Caiden cutting me out of his was a huge one in my path, one that led me straight to Darius.
“I don’t think we ever truly knew each other, Caiden. Not the way we should have for people who spent so much of our lives together. And not that it’s any of your business, but I meant what I said – I would never hurt Darius.”
Caiden mulls over my words, then steps forward and holds out his hand. Glancing down, I reach out to return the gesture. “Maybe we don’t know each other. But I think we’re not so different,” he says. “It’s scary isn’t it?”
I swallow thickly. “What is?”
“The way they barge right in despite your defences. Jamie, Darius, they saw through all my bullshit. I never stood a chance.”
Caiden releases my hand and I move to enter the pub, leaving him to do whatever he originally came outside to do, mumbling under my breath, “Neither did I.”
Darius is out of his seat as soon as he sees me. He pushes past a person blocking his path and when he’s right in front of me, he throws his arms around my neck and pulls me in for a tight hug.
“Hey, angel.” I press a kiss to the spot beneath his ear, letting my lips linger against his warm skin.
He smells sweet, like roses and coconut, and I can’t hold myself back from running my nose down the side of his neck, stopping where the top three buttons of his shirt are undone.
Darius holds in a breath as I move his shirt to the side and press a gentle kiss to his collarbone.
“You’re a lying shit, Darius,” a voice says, and I drag my lips away, turning to find Caiden behind me. I can’t read the expression on his face and I guess neither can Darius, because I feel the moment he tenses where my hand is still resting on his back.
Jamie comes up behind Caiden, pulling him flush to his chest, an arm around his waist. Caiden glances back at his boyfriend, a look spreading across his features that I’ve never seen on him before.
There’s a burning in my chest that feels like jealousy.
Only I know it’s not, at least not in the sense that I want either of them.
It’s more of a longing for what they share.
I look at Darius and he turns his head, a knowing smile on his lips.
A thought crosses my mind, taking root in my heart that maybe I already have it.
Cupping his chin, I tip Darius’s chin up and kiss his forehead.
He sucks in a breath, only blowing it out when I move away and turn to face the two men now watching us.
Caiden scoffs, but he’s smiling, and I feel the tension roll out of Darius’s body.
“Twenty minutes ago, I believe the line you fed me – besides saying nothing had happened between you two – was ‘if you don’t want me to pursue anything with him, I won’t.’ and yet...” Caiden waves a hand at us. “There’s a whole lot of something going on here.”
“I’m sorry I lied," Darius says. "Not that everything I said was a lie. Nothing has happened between us. We’re…” he looks at me.
“Really good friends.” I don’t like that that’s what he’s calling this thing between us, but in fairness, it’s not like we’ve discussed it.
We are friends. Friends who’ve jerked off over the phone together, once.
“Uh, huh. I don’t believe you.” Caiden lifts his hands up to stop Darius from saying anything more. “But you know what? It’s none of my business.”
“So, you’re not mad at me?” Darius asks. Caiden removes himself from Jamie’s hold, moving closer to Darius, and I drop my hand from his back. Caiden hugs his friend, releasing him with a pat on his shoulder.
“I don’t care that you lied, D, and I could never be mad at you. If he makes you smile, I guess we’ll learn to deal with it.” Caiden shoots me a look and I roll my eyes.
There’s the screech of a microphone that grabs our attention before the quizmaster announces that the quiz will be starting in ten minutes.
“Shall I get us drinks before we start?” I offer.
“Jamie will go with you,” Caiden says, to which Jamie scowls and shoots me a sour look, clearly not pleased with the suggestion. But then Caiden kisses him and it’s clear, the guy will do anything for his boyfriend.
“Vodka cranberry, please,” Darius says. He lays his hand on my forearm and I cover it with my own.
“I know.”
Darius and Caiden return to the table where two of Darius’s other friends are sitting, while Jamie and I push our way to the bar.
“Just so we’re clear,” he says while we’re waiting for our drinks. “I still don’t like you.”
I lean against the counter, looking him over from head to toe and remembering the anger on his face the day he walked in on me and Caiden, back before they were together. I get why he doesn’t like me. He’s a possessive guy. I’d probably feel the same way about anyone who’s touched Darius before me.
“Funny that you think I care,” I retort, grabbing mine and Darius’s drinks before turning my back on him and making my way to our table.
I take the seat next to Darius and he introduces me to his friends Lachlan and Finch, both of whom he went to school with.
His other friend, Darcey, who he’s told me so much about, couldn’t make it, but he’s promised I’ll get to meet her soon.
I was nervous at the thought of meeting his friends, though I can’t pinpoint why, exactly.
I’ve always been confident in social situations, and Darius doesn’t seem the type to be influenced by others’ opinions.
Perhaps it’s because for the first time in my adult life, I want to make a good first impression. If only for him.
The quiz starts and we ace the geography section, get one wrong on the film titles, and then completely tank the politics questions.
The final question is music related and we get that right, but it’s not enough to secure a win.
I buy us all a commiseration round, Jamie and Caiden saying their goodbyes soon after.
Finch and Lachlan follow twenty minutes later and then it’s just me and Darius.
I’ve waited all night to be alone with him.
I’m about to ask him if he wants another drink when he looks at me and says, “Come home with me.” He leans in, his hand falling to my upper thigh.
My breath catches when his lips caress the shell of my ear.
“Stay the night.” His fingers dig into my thigh and the bite of pain shoots right to my balls, blood filling my cock until there is no way I can stand up from the table.
“I’d really fucking like that.”
Darius leans back in his chair, mischief in his blue eyes. “Are you ready to go now?” I shoot him a look, adjusting myself under the table.
“What do you think? If I get up now, I’ll be giving this entire pub an eyeful.”
He laughs, a proper joy filled belly laugh, and fucking hell, I don’t know what swells bigger. My heart or my dick.