Chapter 37
“Mamaaa, I’m hungry,” a young Lila announces, sliding down from her chair at the small dining table.
She has been drawing since morning, wholly absorbed in her latest masterpiece: a princess with long, flowing dark hair, just like hers, being kissed by her prince.
She hadn’t realized the day had passed without her eating anything beyond her usual bowl of generic chocolate puff cereal.
“Dinner will be ready soon,” her mother’s light, warm voice calls from the kitchen. The airiness of it brings a wide, toothy smile to Lila’s face.
Lila slides down from the wooden chair and rushes into the kitchen, rising onto her tiptoes to peer over the bubbling pot.
“Spaghetti!” she gasps, clapping her hands in excitement.
“With those cheesy hot dogs you love,” her mother says with a grin, stirring the boiling noodles.
She glances at the digital clock on the counter, then sets down the large wooden spoon and wipes her hands on her apron.
“Now go to your room. Chris is about to come home. Take your doll and have a tea party. I’ll get you when dinner’s ready. ”
“Yes, ma’am!” Lila beams and skips into their shared bedroom.
Their small apartment has only one bedroom, with a walk-in closet that serves as Lila’s makeshift room. Inside is a child-sized mattress on the floor, just big enough for her. Whenever a new boyfriend moves in, Lila is relocated from her spot beside her mother’s bed to the connecting closet.
She loves being there, imagining herself a princess tucked away in her own private tower.
Settling into the corner of her little world, Lila arranges her play tea set and her doll. The soft clink of plastic cups fills the quiet space—until the front door opens and slams shut with a heavy thud.
“Where the fuck did you go today?” Her mother’s voice can be heard hissing, low and seething.
“Nowhere. Just fucking work and back like a damn dog,” Chris snaps, his voice harsh and exasperated.
“You’re a goddamn liar. I saw you at the gas station with that tramp.”
More angry whispers follow, their voices rising until Chris finally explodes, “FUCK OFF, YOU CRAZY BITCH!”
Startled, Lila drops a teacup onto her mattress. The yelling escalates, growing louder and more vicious. She presses her hands over her ears, squeezing her eyes shut, wishing it would stop.
It feels like hours have passed before her mother’s familiar, soft footsteps are heard entering the bedroom.
“Oh, fuck!” she cries out, suddenly remembering something important.
The closet doors are flung open, and Lila yelps in surprise.
“Lila, baby, I’m so sorry. I forgot. Shit—I mean, shoot—are you hungry? Let me fix you something.”
Lila lets her mother guide her back to the kitchen. “Where’s Chris?” she asks cautiously.
“Shh,” her mother hushes her, glancing toward the living room. “He’s sleeping. He had a long day at work, so let’s not wake him, okay?”
“Mama… you’re hurt.” Lila’s eyes widen as she notices the bruises forming on her mother’s arms and face.
Her mother gives a weak laugh. “I slipped on the kitchen floor. That’s all.”
But Lila doesn’t believe her mother’s words for a second.
“Mama, can he go live somewhere else?”
Her mother kneels to Lila’s eye level. “Oh, Sunshine… Where would he go? Did you hear something? Were you uncomfortable? It’s over now, sweetie.”
“He hurt you.”
Her mother’s eyebrows furrow slightly, but her voice remains steady. “Oh, sweetie, he hurt me because he’s a hurt person. We should feel compassion for people who are hurting, right? I’m okay. We made up. When your family is broken, you have to fix it.”
Lila stays silent, her small hands clutching her doll even tighter.
“You see your dolly?” her mother asks, pointing to it. “What if she gets damaged? Would you throw her away?”
“Her name is Sam,” Lila says, offering her mother her best friend.
“Well, if Sam is broken, you’d want to fix her, right? Because you love her. You wouldn’t throw her away and get a new one, would you?”
Lila hesitates before shaking her head. The idea of a new doll is tempting, but Sam has been her only friend for so long. She’d brushed her hair, dressed her carefully, and kept her close every day since Chris first came around. The thought of letting her go feels wrong.
“So, you love him?” Lila asks softly, eyeing her doll in her mother’s hand.
“Yes. And he loves me, and he loves you. He got you Sam, didn’t he?
We’re a family now. He’ll take care of us.
” Her mother lifts the doll into the overhead light, admiring it.
“You take such good care of Sam, Lila. There’s not a hair out of place.
She’s perfect—just like you,” she whispers, smoothing Lila’s hair with tender fingers.