15. Samantha
15
SAMANTHA
T he guys had taken over caring for the kids once we got back from the funeral, which had been great. Mason and Logan were hurting, and when they hurt, everyone felt it. The kids too. They had needed that time with their fathers. When the guys showed up and stayed , it gave the group a sense of peace they’d been needing. That had spread to the wives as well.
It had done nothing to ease Mason’s pain.
I knew that, and I felt it when I walked into our bedroom that night. He wasn’t going to do a goddamn thing about it. He was just shouldering it all right now. He walked out of the closet, dressed all in black. Black henley. Black jeans. Black boots.
I frowned. “Where are you going?”
He paused. Dark desire pulsed in his eyes, and his jaw clenched. He raked a hand over his face. “Logan’s about to combust.”
I sighed. “Taylor said the same thing.”
“She did?”
I nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed. All the kids were in bed. Not sure if they were sleeping—that was a different issue to tackle—but we’d gotten the last one put away. The girls were planning on sitting around the back patio, maybe having a few drinks tonight, but nothing like last night at Manny’s. “He’s not putting it on her because of her pregnancy. Taylor’s tough. But he’s in—”
Mason nodded. “He’s in overprotective mode. I know. Listen, I need a favor tonight.”
I tipped my chin up. “What is it?”
“I know the guys have been doing our own thing a lot lately, but I need to take them tonight again. Or just Logan and Nate. We’ll keep it smaller tonight.”
“Not Channing or Matteo?”
He hesitated but shook his head. “Matteo doesn’t understand this side of us. I could see it last night.”
“He was around in college.”
“Cain wasn’t the same, not quite.”
“Channing?”
He hesitated again. “He’s—there’s a connection between him and where we’re going. I don’t want to mess with that. Plus, I might need…” He shrugged. “I don’t want to say anything now, but there’s a reason for it.”
I frowned. I didn’t like this, but I trusted him. “What’s the favor?”
“Handle the girls when we come back.” He held my gaze. “We might not be as pretty returning.”
“Mason.” My chest tightened. “What are you planning to do?”
“Logan needs to deal with shit, so I’m going to make him.”
“He’s not the only one.”
He paused, his eyes grew bleak for a moment. “I will. I promise I will, but Logan and Taylor are going back to Boston soon. I need to make sure I’ve done what I can to help him before he leaves.”
“You can’t make someone deal with their grief in one night.”
“I can try,” he shot back. His tone softened. “It’s this fucking place. This town. He–I—old shit’s coming up in us. It’s not good.”
“He’ll feel better when he goes back to Boston. When it’s just him and Taylor.”
“I know.” He exhaled deeply.
Logan carried the burden for everyone in the family when we were younger, whether we asked him to do that or not. Until Taylor. When she came into his life, he leaned on her. He gave her everything inside him. They were opposites. Logan was tough on the outside, soft inside. Taylor was soft on the outside, tough inside. She was exactly what he needed.
“I still want to do this tonight,” Mason murmured.
I narrowed my eyes. “On one condition.”
His lips pursed together. “What?”
“I get you after this. We go away. You drop the wall.”
He hadn’t given all of himself to me. We’d been together, obviously, but what I was asking for was different. I’d been waiting since I saw him standing, his eyes haunted, with flashing red and blue lights all around him. My stomach rolled, remembering that night.
He nodded, his eyes holding mine. “Deal.”
He cupped my face with both his hands, tilting me up to him. His thumbs smoothed over my cheeks. “I have thought how much I love you no less than three times every fucking day since I lost my father.” He rested his forehead on mine. “Not that I didn’t have those thoughts before, but this week, I…” His voice cracked.
I reached up, circling his wrists with my hands. I felt his anguish. His pulse pounded into mine. I wanted to take all of it from him—his demons, his pain, his hurt. I wanted to push in all the good to take its place. But I couldn’t. “Why do I feel like we’re on the precipice of something devastating?”
His chest rose suddenly, filling with air, and he held me to him.
We could’ve talked about how Maddy had been the dutiful daughter and older sister today, or how Max had kept his distance, but while he didn’t stray from his dad’s side for long, he couldn’t stop looking at our daughter. All of that could wait.
“I love you,” I whispered.
He angled his head back to see me. His voice dropped low. “How the fuck did I get to have you as mine?”
My heart skipped a beat. I clung to his arms and I yearned .
I yearned for him.