Chapter 1
Kaden hurried out of his building and over to Harris’ car. He slid into the passenger seat and smiled at his boyfriend. “Morning.”
“I said seven twenty. It’s now seven thirty.”
“Sorry.” Kaden didn’t bother offering an excuse because none would be acceptable to Harris.
Not even a fire in the building or having to give the Heimlich manoeuvre to a neighbour or saying he’d overslept because he’d stayed up late working on his book.
Which was the truth. Nothing should have interfered with Kaden’s arrival at the car ten minutes earlier, not even a bleed from a femoral artery.
Harris checked his mirror, indicated and pulled out into traffic. “Those few minutes make all the difference. Look at the traffic!”
It was always busy, though Kaden wouldn’t say that either. “At least you’re going against the flow.”
They were heading out of London not into it.
Harris huffed. “Remember not to touch anything.”
“You already told me.”
“Because it’s important. Touch nothing!”
How old does he think I am? Seven? “What if someone wants to shake my hand?”
“Unlikely. Remember, handshakes are primary vectors for transmitting infection.”
As if he could forget with Harris constantly reminding him. Kaden waited to be told that shaking hands transferred more viruses and bacteria than kissing, and twice as many as a high-five.
“Shaking hands can transfer more bacteria than a kiss.”
And there we go.
“And twice as many as a high-five.”
“You’d think a high-five would kill germs.” Kaden thought that was funny.
Harris didn’t. His groan was very heavy.
“What if I need the loo?” Kaden asked. “Not touching anything might be tricky.”
“For fuck’s sake! Just make sure you wash your hands.”
“Gosh, yes, thanks. I might have forgotten.”
Kaden had hoped to make him laugh, but Harris’ sense of humour was like sighting a rare bird.
He didn’t laugh often, though when he did it was a beautiful thing.
Even so, Kaden was tired of always trying to please him, tired of constantly stepping on eggshells when he was with him. Maybe it was the beginning of the end.
That he was even thinking that told him a lot.
If he was being honest with himself, this relationship had been going downhill for quite some time.
If he was being really honest, it had never done anything other than go downhill after the first date.
Kaden had been flattered and said yes when he should have said no.
“I’m doing you a favour,” Harris said. “It wasn’t easy for me to get permission to bring you in.”
Kaden had thought he was doing Harris the favour, writing an article on A Day in the Life of a Biochemist. Lixian Biotech, where Harris worked, had come to the attention of an extremist animal rights group, who were demanding that all experimentation on animals ceased at once or else.
Harris had sworn there were no animals at Lixian.
Kaden believed him. Harris liked animals.
Well, he liked dogs. Every time they met a dog when they were out walking, Harris stopped to have a word with the dog and the owner.
Then used copious amounts of the hand sanitiser he always carried with him and insisted Kaden used it too, even if he’d not touched the dog.
It was Kaden who’d come up with the idea of writing the article. Harris had been all for it, possibly because Kaden had already written several in the series for a national newspaper, with well-known subjects. Harris had an inflated idea of his own importance.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Harris said.
Kaden barely managed not to roll his eyes. The instructions on what to do and what not to do had been constant since Harris had told him he was going to take him in.
“I don’t have to do this if you’ve changed your mind.”
“My boss said I’d come up with a good idea, so you’re doing it. Just don’t fuck it up.”
It had been Kaden’s idea but Harris had passed it off as his own once he knew his boss was on board.
Harris spent the rest of the journey punching holes in Kaden’s enthusiasm by reminding him not to let him down, not to make jokes—because you’re not funny, not to speak unless he was spoken to, not to ask stupid questions, not to ask too many questions, not to offer his opinion on anything unless he was specifically asked and even then, think twice if not three times before he gave it.
Then he repeated, “No jokes.” He might as well have added—Don’t breathe.
And Kaden’s stand-up audience did think he was funny, but pointing that out to Harris had resulted in a blistering attack that made Kaden wish he’d kept his mouth shut.
It was obvious Harris regretted arranging this, but the money was good and Kaden was curious to see what his boyfriend did.
He’d thought it might be fun. Clearly not.
Kaden had been to Lixian Biotech before, but never gone inside the building. He’d just sat in Harris’ car and waited while Harris went in to get something.
“I mean it about the not touching,” Harris said.
For crying out loud. “What about lunch? Am I allowed to touch that? Or will you sit with me and feed me like a little bird? I wouldn’t mind, but people might think it’s a bit strange if you regurgitate food into my mouth.”
That earned him another heavy sigh.
“Don’t be idiotic. Just keep your hands to yourself. You have a habit of running your fingers over everything you pass. Bushes, railings, trees, walls…”
But not you. Harris didn’t do holding hands.
When Kaden was a little boy and his mum walked him to school, she kept baby wipes in her handbag so she could clean his hands before he went into the playground.
She’d say Don’t touch the railings and he’d manage about ten steps before he started to do it again.
He felt a pang of grief that she was no longer there to tell him off or wipe his hands or give him a kiss or laugh when he was funny.
She’d kept a book of all the things he’d said that made her chuckle. His dad still had it.
The rest of the journey was spent in silence. Harris just wasn’t worth the effort. Kaden would end this, but not today.
Harris pulled into a reserved parking spot outside the laboratory, switched off the engine and turned to him. “Don’t let me down.”
“I’ll try not to.” Kaden spoke through gritted teeth.
They climbed out of the car and he hurried to keep up with Harris who had longer legs than him.
At six four, he was six inches taller than Kaden.
As they stepped through the glass doors, Kaden ground to a halt in front of a huge security guard, who’d moved to block his way.
The guy looked as if he could eat him for breakfast.
“Morning, Malcolm,” said Harris. “Lovely day.”
So the guard got a better greeting than Kaden?
“Morning, Dr Prescott. I’ve Mr Bauer’s ID here.” He handed Kaden a lanyard with a card attached. Kaden’s slightly gawky, wide-eyed image had been captured last week by Harris’ phone. No amount of pleading had persuaded Harris to take a better picture.
“Thank you.” Kaden put it around his neck.
“Keep it on at all times,” Harris said. “It will get you into areas you’re allowed to access and the canteen.”
“Okay.”
Harris walked through the scanner and turned to wait for Kaden.
The only time Kaden usually thought about his faulty heart was when he was in an airport.
Scanners weren’t supposed to affect pacemakers, but they still made him nervous.
As he followed Harris, he had a moment’s panic that, accompanied by a flamboyant swirl of bright light, a horizonal whirlwind would whisk him off to another dimension.
He was slightly disappointed to emerge safely on the other side.
“Beep beep beep!”
Kaden yelped, almost jumping out of his skin. Bloody security guard!
“Alien life-force detected,” Malcolm said and pretended to shudder.
Of course, Harris thought that was hilarious. “Your face!” He chortled loudly.
It had been funny, but Harris always seemed to find too much pleasure at his expense.
Kaden didn’t mind making fun of himself.
In stand-up, he did it all the time, but Harris sometimes crossed the line into cruelty.
He belittled him in front of their friends and whenever Kaden protested, he was accused of having no sense of humour, which was hurtful.
They headed for the lift and got off on the third floor to face glass doors and an entry pad.
“Use your pass to check it works. The toilets are over there by the lift, but you’ll have to come back through this door to get to them. The canteen’s on the top floor. The fifth. Use your pass to pay for everything and it’ll go on my account.”
“Fillet steak and lobster here I come.” Kaden grinned.
Harris scowled.
Oh God. Kaden would never eat lobster and he wasn’t a fan of steak. He chewed the inside of his cheeks as he pressed his card on the pad. The door slid open and Harris followed him through into the corridor.
“That’s a bit of a security issue,” Kaden said. “You didn’t swipe your card. What if I had a gun and I was forcing you to get me into the labs?”
“Without a pass, you wouldn’t have got past Malcolm.”
“Maybe I left Malcolm tied up on the—”
Harris laughed. “He could stop you with one hand tied behind his back.”
“Not a whole bunch of guys.”
That earned him a glare. Kaden shut up. But I’m right. So make the point!
He took a deep breath. “I know it doesn’t matter because it’s you and you work here but it ought to be compulsory for each person to use their own—”
Harris stopped and glared at him. “You’re not here to criticise our security. Don’t put anything about that in your article. You’re here to see that we don’t experiment on animals. That’s all!”