Chapter 10
KAEDE
I didn’t think she needed to know my status when it came to sex, but I also didn’t want to start a relationship with a lie. And as the military had taught me, an omission is as bad as an outright lie, they both create suspicion and doubt.
The glow from the nightlight casts my dark shadow over her as I stand next to the bed. The way the light makes her face glow tells me it’s just the right amount of lighting. I can see what I’m working with, and what I’ll be admiring. Not that I can’t imagine already.
I slide back under the covers and scoot into the middle again. “I want to be honest with you, Willow.”
“Oh God, you have a girlfriend? Am I just a side piece?”
I chuckle. “No. You’ll never be a side piece to anyone. You’re mine now.” I swallow down thirty-six years of being alone and how I sacrificed what I wanted for what was expected from me. I’m not mad about the commitment, but I’m done with the obligation.
I slip a hand into hers. “I’ve never had sex.”
Her eyebrows shoot up. “Okay, the side piece thing was more reasonable than that. I don’t need you making up stories to make me feel—” She starts to scramble out of the bed.
“I’m not. I’m telling you the truth.” I grab for her hand. “Willow, I don’t lie and I’ll never lie to you.”
She stops. “How?”
“How am I still a virgin?”
“Well, yeah… Youhaveseen yourself in a mirror, right?”
I reach out for her again. “Yeah, and I didn’t have many opportunities in high school.
I was that shy, gangly kid who didn’t have a lot of friends.
I was in the foster system from age four until I graduated.
My mom couldn’t take care of me. I don’t know her real circumstances, and my dad was never in the picture.
So, I joined the military as soon as I could and I ignored every woman who pawed at me because part of me didn’t want temporary ever again.
If someone was coming into my life, she would be permanent. ”
With every truth, I realize how much I need this woman.
She is the oxygen in my blood.
She is the missing piece of a puzzle I’ve never known I was making of my life.
She is my soul’s match.
Her eyes clamp closed. “I don’t know if I can promise you forever. I have a life back in Helena.”
I knew the argument was coming, but I can tell Willow is close to finding a place for me in her life, too. She was the one to cross the room for that dick-rising kiss. She made the meal. She appeared in my bed… twice. Now I hunger to make hercomein my bed.
I’m not nervous. We are too perfect to feel like this is anything but right.
“I know, but I also know that my life will never be the same without you in it. Permanently.”
“Do you know how special you are?” she sighs through the question.
Her words warm me deep in my gut. “Sweetheart, right back at ya.”
“As long as you’ll promise that we’ll both be adults and you’ll never ignore me, if this doesn’t work out…”
“I’ll never do that to you. I would never do that to anyone.”
Her crisp white teeth glow in the dusky light. “I believe you, honey.”
“You ready?” I ask.
“I’m ready for you, Kaede.”
I know you are. If you’ll just believe.
It is hard for me to believe, too. Growing up, my Christmases weren’t the joyous time they were for most. I got that gift that said, “Boy age X,” with theXbeing a number and usually the gift was not in my age range.
And Santa rarely came to the places I stayed.
But I never said anything. I learned quickly it’s not worth saying anything when no one listens.
But I feel like Willow listens to me. Gets me. Wants me.
Debauched thoughts fill my head. I drag her close and she shivers. I don’t think she’s cold. I’m on fire both inside and out. I’ll heat her body quickly with everything I want to do to her.
My cock has been in a perpetual state of semi-hard since I walked in on her seven hours ago. But now he’s stone, and he’s not going to go down until she’s satisfied. That is my classified operation and only success will do.
I kiss Willow like I’m deploying instead of staying. She deserves every kiss to be like this. I want her to remember and crave more and more. Her soft lips caress mine like silk. There is no part of this woman that will ever be too much or not enough.
Her hands search my chest and then she’s going lower and lower and I rip my lips from hers as she strokes my cock. The sensations roll over me like water lapping a beach. I fight the growing tidal wave that’s inside of me. I won’t let it go. I will only…
Her voice is soft and gentle. “Kaede, I want to see you come.”
“But you…”
“Don’t worry, this isn’t over. I’ll work you back up. We have all night— just you and me will learn everything about each other.”
“If you insist.” I pump my hips and her head disappears under the covers. And then a wetness covers my cock, slick and warm. I drive in and out of her mouth. My body’s a fuse that only she can ignite. She strikes the match. I’m on fire. My body detonates and she’s there to catch every drop.
Every.
Goddamn.
Drop.
Inside this woman.
And it’s fuckin’ magic.
My woman.