19. Mary
Nineteen
Mary
The question crashes into me out of nowhere.
Because this isn't some random hookup.
This isn't some stranger.
This is Kai.
My fake boyfriend.
The bodyguard who punched a councilman for touching me.
The man who shows up with coffee.
The man who keeps looking at me like I'm something special.
The man I've somehow fallen for.
Oh God.
What if he hasn't?
What if he doesn’t feel the same?
My stomach twists.
What if tonight was just tonight?
What if tomorrow everything changes?
What if he wakes up and realizes I'm not who he really wants?
The doubts come fast.
Cruel.
Familiar.
The same ones I've spent years trying to ignore.
Too much.
Too curvy.
Too boring.
Too ordinary.
Not enough.
Never enough.
My throat tightens.
I hate that my brain does this.
I hate that even now, after everything, a part of me still expects disappointment.
Not because of Kai.
Because of experience.
Because that's what happens when you've spent years being overlooked.
Kai tosses the towel into the hamper.
Then he returns.
And for one horrible second I wonder if he's back to say bye, to tell me he’s done and going to leave now.
A sense of awkward dread fills me.
Oh my God, what if he thanks me?
Makes an excuse?
Or worse, tells me he'll call?
What if he comes in here and says something awful like that?
I brace myself for it.
But he just walks right back to my bed.
Pulls back the covers.
And climbs in beside me.
Relief hits so hard I nearly laugh.
His hand finds mine instantly and he pulls me into his side, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
Like it belongs there.
Like he's been doing it for years.
His thumb brushes softly across my knuckles.
“What happened?”
I blink.
“What?”
His eyes narrow.
“You disappeared.”
I force a laugh.
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
The word is gentle.
Affectionate.
Dangerously knowing.
I stare at the ceiling.
Unable to look at him.
Because if I do, I'm afraid I'll say something stupid.
Something embarrassing.
Something honest.
Kai shifts closer.
Enough that I feel his warmth seeping into my bones.
“Mary.”
The concern in his voice almost undoes me.
“What?”
“Talk to me.”
I swallow.
Hard.
“It's just...” I trail off.
His arms tighten around me.
Patient.
Waiting.
“What if this changes things?”
The words come out small.
Smaller than I intended.
But they're out there now.
Floating between us.
My heart pounds.
Because I don't know which answer scares me more.
Yes.
Or no.
“This absolutely changes things,” he says.
The affection in his voice makes everything worse.
Or better.
Maybe both.
“You’re mine now, Firecracker. Just try to get away.”
I laugh.
“What?” he asks, one eyebrow raised.
“I just...” I shake my head. “You're not what I expected.”
A slow smile appears.
“That's probably the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me.”
I roll my eyes.
“You know what I mean.”
“Yeah.”
His thumb brushes across my knuckles.
“I do.”
The room grows quiet.
Comfortable.
Easy.
Outside, the wind rattles softly against the window.
Inside, everything feels warm.
Safe.
For the first time in days, maybe weeks, I don't feel like I'm carrying the whole world on my shoulders.
I just feel... happy.
The realization surprises me.
“Kai?”
“Yeah?”
I look over at him.
Really look.
At the man who's somehow become the brightest part of my day.
“I’m glad you’re here.”
His expression softens.
“I am too, Firecracker.”
“Yeah, but I don’t mean just for this,” I sway, smiling and gesturing between our naked bodies.
Something flickers in his eyes.
Something deep.
Something that makes my heart squeeze.
“I don’t mean just this either. But I’m not gonna lie. This was very, very good, Mary,” he says with a playful note in his voice.
And the way he says my name? It sounds almost reverent.
Like a promise.
I lick my lips, going for broke, “Maybe we can do it again sometime?”
“Damn straight we will. Firecracker, I'm not planning on stopping anytime soon.”
And for the first time all night, I believe him.