Chapter Sixteen
Kane
You, Kane. I want you.
I’m not sure I’ve ever heard anyone say those words, but the minute Ryder says them, something in me cracks open.
I look up into his eyes, into those beautiful sapphire orbs, and it’s like I’m finally home. Like some missing piece of me has finally been found.
I kiss Ryder everywhere my mouth can reach, trailing my lips along his jaw, up to his ear.
“Tell me,” I whisper, a new sort of instinct taking over.
I’ve instructed plenty of men as a dom. Telling people what to do, especially in this sort of situation, is a natural sort of thing for me.
But what isn’t natural, what is new and scary and intriguing and addicting is this feeling that I want him—no I need him—to tell me what he wants in exact words, so I can give it to him.
Because I want to give Ryder everything he deserves. This sexy, charming, funny man who knows just how to push my buttons and bring out parts of me I didn’t know I had. Who knows how to lead me when I am unsure, when I am afraid of the unknown.
“Tell me precisely how you want me to make you come, Ryder, and I will.”
Ryder’s eyes roll in the back of his head, and I have to refrain from chuckling because I swear, it’s the cutest damned thing I’ve ever seen.
“Oh my God,” he mutters.
“You good?” I ask softly. “If this is too much—”
“Oh, I’m good,” Ryder says, digging his socked heels into my jean-clad ass.
He grins like the Cheshire Cat.
“Sir. Very fucking good.”
“I’m not going to tell you again, Ryder. Last chance.”
I watch his pupils dilate, but he looks nervous.
“Um… are you any good with rope?” he asks, blushing that shade of scarlet that is like a drug for my cock.
“Actually, yes, though I will be honest and tell you I have not done much bondage in years.”
“Oh,” he says, biting his lip.
“But I will not hurt you, if that’s what you’re worried about.”
He swallows.
“No, I trust you. I just—”
“Talk to me,” I tell him as I let him down, because I can tell this is something that may be difficult for him. “Tell me what you’re feeling, thinking.”
“No one…” He falters on his feet, but I catch him.
I look down the hallway, noting the couch and carefully guide us there.
He follows with ease, and just as I sit, I pull him down into my lap.
He looks surprised, but the way he leans into me, into my lap is so natural, it’s hard to resist the urge to kiss him, so I don’t.
I grasp his chin with my thumb as I pull away, forcing my gaze to meet his.
“Take all the time you need. If you change your mind—”
He shakes his head.
“It’s not that.” He curls closer, and I hold him there, loving the feel of him like this.
His weight against me, his warmth blanketing me.
“Then what is it, my sweet boy? hmmm?”
I nearly freeze because I’ve never said such words before. I mean, I have used a lot of terms, but never have I ever called anyone my anything. But the words felt comfortable. Right.
“No one’s ever asked me to, uh… instruct them.” He clears his throat.
“And usually when I ask for things—”
“You are denied.” I say the words solidly, understanding falling on me.
Ryder drops his gaze as he nods, and I grab his chin, firmer this time and hold it in place, making sure he can’t look away when I speak to him. I need him to understand that I will not deny him. Not unless he asks me to.
“Ryder, I want you to hear me when I say this, do you understand?”
He nods slightly, his voice breathing out a hushed, “Yes, Sir.” that makes my own cock throb against the inside of my jeans.
“I will not leave you unsatisfied.” I watch his pupils dance as he bites lip. “I will do as you ask, and only what you ask of me.”
His eyes glisten, and he bites his lip like he’s about to cry. Maybe he is. Though I don’t think it’s because he’s overwhelmed or because we’re doing something he isn’t comfortable with.
I think it’s the opposite.
For the first time, I think Ryder is understanding he has power he didn’t know he had. That saddens me. No matter who you are, you should never feel as if your needs do not matter, that yours are less than another person’s.
Pleasure is a gift to be given, and I think Ryder has unfortunately been taken advantage of when it comes to his pleasure.
Which is why I will take my time with him tonight.
I will give him this gift because he deserves it.
Not because we had a lovely date—though that certainly was perfect in its own way—but because I simply want to make Ryder understand that he has given me something I never thought I could have or feel again.
“I’m not in a rush,” I whisper as I kiss him softly. “I can wait as long as you need.”
I lean back into the couch with him. It’s comfortable, and it doesn’t squeak.
Ryder settles on top of me as I hold him. He buries his face in my chest before he looks up at me.
I stare into his eyes and the truth hits me hard like a brick.
I think I am in love with this man. I think I may have loved him from the moment I saw him and I just didn’t realize it.
He clears his throat, and I can tell he’s nervous. But he doesn’t look away.
“I want you to tie me up,” he says carefully. I nod, waiting for him to continue. “Hands behind my back. Ankles bound, too.”
He pauses, almost as if he’s waiting for me to refute him.
“Go on,” I urge.
He sighs.
“I want you to use me. Fuck my mouth with your cock, my ass with your fingers. I want you to tell me not to come until you say so.”
I nod, licking my lips. I don’t hate the sound of that, to be honest.
Though it feels like he’s still holding back, keeping things careful.
“And? What else.”
“That’s it,” he lies. His voice shakes.
“No, it’s not. Tell me.”
He blinks, chewing his lip as he settles over top of me. His legs straddle me, his cock hard against mine.
“You won’t do it,” he says solidly.
“If it’s too much, I’ll use my safeword. And if it’s too much for you—”
Ryder sighs, his hands gripping my hips. He squeezes.
“Everyone else says no,” he mutters.
“I am not everyone else,” I say firmly. “I am here to please you.”
I find his mouth and kiss him long and slow. My hands roam down his spine, over his ass. His cock throbs against me.
He pulls away, looking into my eyes with relief and fear.
“Would you fuck yourself on my dick until I come in your ass?”
His expression tightens, his words shaky.
I give him a soft smirk.
“Is that it?” I ask, tracing lines along his cheek.
Fuck, he’s so beautiful. All golden and warm, like the sun. And I fear like Icharus, I will burn up because I have never felt warmth like this.
Love like this.
He blinks. “Um… yeah.”
I let out a soft chuckle as I kiss him. He stops me, looking at me in question.
“That is definitely doable,” I tell him, though I will admit, I am nervous.
I haven’t bottomed in a long time. Of course, I tried many things when I was young and struggling; looking for a way to dull the pain.
Though I didn’t care for it then, the thought of impaling myself onto Ryder’s cock, of driving him to the point he can’t control himself makes my cock weep with arousal.
“Where is your rope?” I ask, and when Ryder gets off of me, adjusting his cock, I can’t deny how perfect he looks. Kiss-swollen lips, evident erection. That lustful look in his eyes.
God, he is perfect. Like something out of a dream.
“In there.” He nods to what I assume must be his bedroom, and then he blurts out, “My tests are all good, if you need to see them or—”
I get up off the couch, adjust my own cock and come to stand in front of him.
“I believe you.”
I shouldn’t, but I do. Because something tells me I can trust Ryder.
Because I love him.
I love him.
“My record is also spotless. I am meticulous about keeping up with such things.”
It’s the truth. I haven’t had sex with a lot of people, but enough to know I have made mistakes once or twice, and didn’t want there to be any surprises.
“Do you have condoms?” I ask.
Ryder nods. “I do, yes.”
There’s a heated pause before he nods and says, “Okay then.” He clears his throat. The sight is somewhat adorable, but also strangely arousing.
He looks at me from underneath his lashes, his cheeks scarlet again.
“You are so beautiful when you do that,” I say, kissing the flesh of his cheek. He moans.
“Do what?”
“When the blood rushes to your cheeks.”
“It’s not just rushing to my cheeks,” he says, and I have to refrain from laughing.
And then I feel his hand on mine, and a moment later I feel his heavy erection against my palm.
“Yes, we will have to tend to that, soon enough won’t we?”
Ryder moans as I gently cup his erection and squeeze.
Ryder leads me back into his bedroom, kissing me and pulling at my shirt as we go.
“Prepare your rope and undress yourself,” I tell him, removing my shirt for him. I don’t miss the way his gaze roves over my chest, my arms, and a flood of panic hits me.
Because I realize he’s looking at me in a way no one has in years.
“Holy shit,” he mutters, unbuckling his belt.
I focus on doing the same, getting down to my underwear, at least for the moment. I need to take my time. For the both of us.
I watch as he hurriedly undresses himself and then digs into his bedside table. I look around, his room oddly familiar in a way I can’t describe. I have the strangest sense of deja vu.
Ryder presents me with bright purple nylon rope, his eyes full of hope and excitement. My gaze drifts to his cock, taking in the sight of him.
I’ve thought about it many times, but nothing compares to the real thing. His cock bounces back and forth, gleaming in the bedroom night
“Get on the bed. On your knees. Hands behind your back.”
He doesn’t waste a second, nearly jumping onto the bed.
The sight is hotter than it should be—Ryder on his knees, precum dripping from his swollen pink cockhead onto the dark blue comforter beneath him as he places his hands behind his back.
“You are so fucking perfect,” I growl as I walk over to the bed with the rope. Ryder looks up at me, and I know nothing will ever be the same. Because no one has ever looked at me like this; like I am everything they’ve ever wanted.
And I fear no one will ever look at me like this again.
Because I don’t want anyone else.
I will never want anyone else, not after tonight.
I take my time, tracing his skin with my fingertips, warming him up to my touch. He needs to know he can trust it. His body knows this, but he needs to know it, too.
I tie his ankles first, then his wrists. I go slow, checking with him to make sure the pressure is right, that he can feel his fingers and nothing’s numb or pressing on nerves. It has been awhile since I did this, but it’s like riding a bike.
Ryder affirms the pressure and asks me to loosen the ropes once so he is more comfortable, and I do so without question.
My heart swells as my stomach twists when I grab his chin, knowing there is no going back. My cock presses against my boxer briefs, and I hold his gaze.
“Are you ready?” I ask, but I’m not entirely sure I am only talking about what we are about to do.
I feel like this is more than that.
Ryder nods, his kiss-swollen lips parted.
“Yes, Sir. I’m ready.”
I kiss him softly before I let him go. I take my briefs off with one swift motion and approach him, grabbing him by the hair.
I force him to look up at me.
“You want me to use you, Ryder?”
The feral glaze in his eyes tells me all I need to know, but I still need to hear him say it. Out loud.
“Yes, Sir.”
“Then be a good me and open that pretty mouth of yours.”