Chapter 19
By the time they walked into Monica’s house, she was wiped out. Even Knox was dragging. Kane had followed her back on his bike, and she had secretly wished she was riding with him. Yawning for what felt like the hundredth time, she set her bag down and basically collapsed onto the couch.
“What a day,” she sighed, watching Kane set his own bag by the door. “As soon as I can get my lazy ass off this couch, I’ll show you the extra bedroom where you can put your stuff.”
“No worries,” Kane said with a frown, distracted, his attention glued to his phone.
“Bad news?” Monica asked through another yawn.
“Hmmm?” Kane finally moved, coming over to sit in the chair next to the couch.
Knox padded over and dropped his massive head onto Kane’s lap like they’d been friends for years.
Kane scratched behind his ears without even thinking about it.
He was a damn handsome man. His features were strong, and he had that sexy jawline that made women drool.
His hair was wild from riding in the open air.
He had that dark, mysterious thing going on, and he looked damn good in a leather jacket.
“You were glaring at your phone. I asked you if it was bad news,” Monica said, curling her arm under her head as she watched him. “He likes you.”
“Just work stuff,” Kane replied, then glanced at her dog. “Do you?”
“What? Like you?” Monica squinted at him, then gave a tired shrug. “Ehh… you’re not as bad as I thought.”
Kane chuckled, cocking his eyebrow. “Ditto.”
Monica smiled, then felt it drop instantly, guilt hitting her hard and fast.
“What?” Kane asked, his attention sliding fully to her now.
“I just buried my sister this morning,” Monica whispered, voice cracking. “I shouldn’t be smiling or laughing. It feels wrong.”
“And what would your sister say if she were sitting here right now?” Kane’s voice was low and steady, that hypnotic calm she’d noticed the very first time she’d heard him speak. Even when he annoyed the hell out of her, she liked the sound of his voice.
“She’d tell me to shut up and grow a pair,” Monica said with a choked breath right before the tears hit her hard. Losing her sister kept sneaking up and knocking the air out of her. Covering her face with her hand, she tried to stop the tears, but they just kept coming.
She didn’t even realize she’d moved until she felt his arms around her. Kane pulled her in, steady and warm, holding her like he had all the time in the world. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face against him, sobbing into his shoulder.
“I don’t think that’s what she’d say,” Kane murmured, rubbing slow circles on her back. “I think she’d tell you she was okay… and thank you for everything you’ve done.”
Monica squeezed her eyes shut at his words, trying to stop crying, only to cry harder.
“And then,” Kane added softly, “if she were anything like you, which I’m guessing she was… she’d tell you to shut up and grow a pair.”
Somehow, she cried and laughed all at the same time. Pulling back, she wiped her nose and eyes with the back of her hand. “You really are a nice guy,” she said, breath stuttering.
“I have my moments,” Kane said, brushing away one last tear with his thumb.
He moved a strand of hair from her face, his eyes sweeping over her…
lingering on her lips for half a second longer than they should.
And God, she wanted him to kiss her. Why, she didn’t know, but she did. She felt such a damn pull to him.
“You’re exhausted,” he said finally, pulling back. His voice had dipped lower, rougher. “Why don’t you get some rest? I’ve got work to do.”
“Yeah, okay,” Monica said, trying not to let the disappointment show. She pushed herself up too fast, stumbling, but Kane was already steadying her with a hand at her waist.
“Sorry,” she muttered. “I’m a klutz when I’m tired. Come on, I’ll show you the room.”
“I’m fine, Monica,” Kane said, already shifting back toward the chair. “Go to bed.”
“No, I will not,” Monica shot back, planting her hands on her hips. “My momma raised me better than to let a guest wander around without a place to lay their head.”
“I don’t sleep,” Kane replied with a half-grin.
“Not even a catnap here and there?” Monica frowned, still trying to wrap her mind around that. Sleep was basically her superpower.
“Nope.” Kane glanced at her. “And what exactly is a catnap?”
“I don’t know. I’m a dog person,” Monica teased, then bent to pick up his bag and almost dislocated her shoulder. “Holy crap, what do you have in here?”
“Clothes,” Kane said with that cocky little smirk, taking the bag from her like it weighed absolutely nothing.
Monica snorted but didn’t argue. It wasn’t any of her business what he had in his bag.
Her traitorous eyes flicked to the muscles in his forearm, the way they barely even flexed under the weight of his overstuffed bag.
When she looked back up, he was already watching her—waiting on her to move, to lead the way.
Cursing under her breath, she turned toward the stairs before she embarrassed herself any further and openly stared at his crotch. Good Lord, she was a mess.
The stairway was narrow, opening into a short hallway with the bathroom straight ahead and bedrooms on each end. She veered left, pushed open the door, and stepped inside. Her gaze landed on the small bed, way too small. He’d never fit in that thing.
Her brain, being a traitor, instantly gave her a vivid image of Kane stretched out naked on that mattress… on top of her. She froze. The mental slideshow replayed itself a couple of times before she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to will it away.
“Damn,” she whispered, trying to shake the picture out of her brain.
“What?” Kane’s voice was suddenly right behind her, close enough that his breath brushed the back of her hair.
“What!?” She jolted so hard she nearly knocked herself over, spinning around, looking at him wide-eyed as if she had just been caught doing something naughty.
He just stood there, one thick brow arched with those gorgeous golden eyes framed by lashes entirely too long for a man. And of course, he was staring at her like he could read every inappropriate thought she’d just had.
“ I-uh—I was just thinking you’d never fit in that bed,” she blurted, her mouth suddenly bone dry.
“I don’t sleep,” he reminded her, giving her that slow, sinful grin as he brushed past her, his body grazing hers on purpose or by accident, she couldn’t tell.
“I just… haven’t met anyone who doesn’t sleep,” she muttered, as if that explained her meltdown. Truth was, it had nothing to do with remembering. It had everything to do with hiding the fact she’d just pictured him naked for no good reason other than her brain hated her.
He dropped the bag on the mattress and turned. She caught herself staring at his shoulders before jerking her eyes away and stepping out into the hall.
“And this is the bathroom,” she said, trying to regain some dignity. “Full shower. You do shower, right?” she added, raising her brows because apparently she was determined to self-destruct tonight.
And then, just because her imagination hated her, another image slid into her head—Kane, naked and dripping wet in her shower.
Yep. She was absolutely, certifiably, nun-level deprived.
“Daily,” he chuckled, eyes never leaving her face. He didn’t even glance at the bathroom.
“Well, okay then,” she said, forcing a smile, wondering when the hell she became this awkward. “And if you get hungry, there’s food in the fridge. I’ll do a click-list tomorrow, so write down anything you want or need.”
His gaze dropped to her mouth, lingering there long enough that her whole body went up in flames. When his eyes came back up, she swore they looked darker, intense in a way that made her insides quiver as well as other parts of her body.
“Whatever you have to offer… I will eat,” he murmured, voice low and rough enough to make her swallow hard.
He didn’t mean it sexually. She knew that, or did she? The way he said it made her think that maybe it was sexual. Her body didn’t care. Her brain didn’t care. Her libido fist-pumped in the background like a victorious sports fan. A girl could fantasize.
Lord. Her brother wasn’t wrong. Maybe she did need psychiatric help. Or a sex therapist. Preferably one with emergency hours.
She almost laughed as well as nearly reached for her phone to call Beverly and tell her the ridiculous mess she’d gotten herself into, but then the truth slammed into her chest. Beverly wasn’t here. She wasn’t picking up the phone ever again.
Her breath hitched. It wasn’t like she forgot her sister was gone, not even close. But instinct was instinct, and for so long, Beverly had been her first call for everything. Now that instinct stabbed instead of soothed.
“Monica?” Kane’s voice softened, real concern threading through it.
She forced her chin not to tremble. “Goodnight, Kane.”
Before her emotions betrayed her, she slipped into her bedroom and shut the door behind her.
Face first, she collapsed into the pillow, sucking in a shaky breath. After a moment, she rolled onto her side and looked at the framed picture of her and Beverly on the nightstand. Her sister’s smile still made her smile, even now.
A single tear slid down her temple as she whispered, barely audible, “God, I want to talk to you again.”
And as she stared at the photo, her thoughts drifted back to the man down the hall. The way he looked at her sometimes. Was she reading too much into it? Was she just desperate for someone? And then it hit her, she was lonely. So damn lonely.
Suddenly, a scratching noise came from the door. Jumping up, she rushed to the door and opened it. Knox strolled in, looking up at her.
“You always know when I need you,” she whispered, sinking down onto the floor as if her legs finally gave out.
Knox came to her immediately, pressing that big warm body into her side until she could wrap her arms around his neck.
She buried her face in his fur, breathing him in, letting the steady rise and fall of his chest calm her.
“It’s you and me, Knoxy,” she murmured, her voice cracking the tiniest bit. “It’s just you and me.”
But even as she said it, her mind drifted to someone else. Kane.
The pull she felt toward him wasn’t normal.
It wasn’t even logical. It was intense in a way that made her chest tighten, her stomach twist, and had her second-guessing every damn thing she said around him.
She’d never reacted to a man like that in her life.
Hell, she didn’t want to. Attractions like that were dangerous.
It had her hoping for things even though she hardly knew the man.
Yeah, hope. That’s what he stirred in her, and she wasn’t ready for that. Not when hope had turned on her so many times and left her standing in the ruins of her own expectations. She didn’t think she had it in her to take another hit, not after Beverly.
She tightened her hold on Knox, letting out a shaky breath.
“It’s safer if it’s just us,” she whispered into his fur, trying to convince herself more than him… but Kane’s face kept pushing its way into her thoughts anyway.