Chapter 18
CHAPTER 18
“OH. WOW.”
Bryan had always seemed invested in Aaron’s happiness. I chalked that up to Aaron being a great bartender and the Pink Unicorn’s manager—not because Bryan was secretly Aaron’s father.
“How could he not have told me?” Aaron asks, his voice catching.
“Maybe he felt it was better to keep it from you?”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. He was afraid of how you’d react?”
“I’m more mad at him now for not telling me the truth all this time.”
The truth. A voice whispers in my ear, I’ve been lying to him, too.
I look around at the people in Susan’s home. Everyone has finally arrived at the party. The executives, the board of directors, and their plus-ones. Kat and Nine Tails. The AquaMarine caterers. And Paolo. All of whom are completely oblivious to the revelation that Aaron’s just shared with me.
“Rex, I’m taking a few days off, flying back to Indiana tonight on the red-eye. I need to see my mom. Make sure she’s okay.”
“I thought you said it was just an ulcer?”
“She still felt bad enough that she thought she was dying. And I don’t think I can face Bryan right now. Could you just tell him I’ll be gone for a while?”
“Why don’t you two just talk. Ask him why—”
“I can’t. But thanks for listening. You’ve been amazing these past few weeks, Rex. All the stuff you’ve been doing for the bar. And for me. I’m glad we ran into each other again.”
“Of course,” I say. “I’m here for you.”
“I know you are,” he says. “Talk later, okay?” He hangs up before I can respond.
Kat and Paolo are outside on the patio. Kat is, unsurprisingly, stuffing her face with lumpia while Paolo is trying to wrest the plate of food away from her to give to the other guests.
She stops mid-chomp when she sees me coming. “You look paler than me at the Brazilian bikini waxer. What happened?”
“Aaron’s flying back to Indiana.”
“Why?” Kat asks.
“He needs to talk to his mom. She told him that Bryan is his dad.”
“What?” they both say in unison, almost dropping the plate of hors d’oeuvres.
“Apparently, that’s how Bryan knew Aaron’s mom back in the day.”
“Does Bryan know that Aaron knows?” Kat asks.
“No clue,” I say. “But I do know that Aaron doesn’t want to talk to Bryan. Or even see him. I don’t even actually know when he’s coming back,” I add.
My phone rings. It’s Bryan.
“Rex? Do you have any idea where Aaron is? I’ve been trying to reach him. He was supposed to work tonight.”
“He’s not coming to work, Bryan,” I say, pausing. “And I don’t know how to tell you this, but he’s really upset with you. He’s flying back to Indiana tonight, in fact. His mom told him you’re his dad?”
“Ah, hell,” Bryan says. “I was afraid that’s what happened. I got this weird voicemail from Tonya saying she was sick and was going to call Aaron and—” He starts choking up. “I tried to call him and… damn.”
“Just give him a day or two to calm down. He’ll come around,” I say.
“No. He’s never gonna forgive me for what I did. Leaving him. Lying to him.” His voice sounds even worse than Aaron’s did. “Forget it, I’m sorry I bothered you. I’ll just sit here and try to forget about it somehow.”
“Let me see if I can talk to him,” I say.
No response.
“Bryan? Hello?”
He hasn’t hung up yet, but I don’t hear anything on the other end of the line. He must not be in the bar. Maybe he’s home. Alone. I start to worry.
“Bryan? Are you there? Where are you right now?”
I hear a ragged inhalation of breath before he says, “I’m at the Pink Unicorn. In the office.”
“Stay put, I’ll be right there. Fifteen minutes or so. Okay?”
Silence.
Finally, he says, “Okay,” before hanging up.
“Well?” Kat says. She and Paolo are staring at me.
“I need to go,” I say.
“Right now?” they both say.
“I’m worried about Bryan. He sounds pretty bad. I should go check in on him. Father-son stuff, it’s never easy to begin with, let alone in this case.”
“But you just got here,” Kat says.
“And we were going to talk,” Paolo says.
Kat perks up. “Talk? About what?”
Paolo and I glance at each other.
“Ha! I knew it,” Kat says. “I one hundred percent freaking knew something was going on between you two.”
“Nothing’s going on!” I say.
“Please. I’ve felt major vibes between you guys since that first karaoke night. I told you,” she says, pointing at me, “I saw a spark.”
Paolo grins, which makes me grin, too.
“Raincheck?” I ask him.
He nods. “I kind of have to work right now, anyway.”
We stand there smiling at each other for a brief moment before Kat squeals, “Eeeee! I love what’s happening here right now!”
“Okay, I’m leaving,” I say. Every bit of my being wants to reach out to Paolo—to touch him, hold him—but I know if I do, I’ll never leave. So before he or Kat can respond, I wave at them both quickly before rushing out of the kitchen, through Susan’s giant oak doors to my car, suppressing the urge the entire time to run back into the house.
WHEN I GET TO THE PINK UNICORN , Loretta’s busy making drinks for a decent-size Wednesday night crowd. At least half of the tables are filled, and there’s even a short line at the bar. Meanwhile, Bryan has emerged from the office and is sitting on his usual barstool at the end. At first glance, he seems fine. But when I get closer, I notice the tracks of tears on his face.
“Hey, Bryan,” I say.
He nods quietly and wipes his eyes with a cocktail napkin. “You didn’t have to come all the way here, Rex. I’m fine.”
“You don’t look fine,” I say. “But I’m here, if you want to talk.”
Bryan shakes his head wearily. “Nothing to talk about. Aaron ditched, and I don’t blame him. It’s exactly what I did to him.”
I sit down on the barstool next to him. “Can I ask why you left him in the first place? I don’t mean to pry. But I want to help somehow. Maybe if I know more, I can get him to talk to you.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose,” Bryan says, blowing his nose on the napkin. “Aaron’s mother, Tonya—we grew up together in Indiana. She had decent folks, while my dad was a nasty sonofabitch. So I spent most of my time at her house. We were so close, I think everyone expected us to end up married. Even though I didn’t really know I was gay at the time, I knew we would never do that. I think she did, too.”
Bryan plunges his hand into his snack bowl, grabs a fistful, and tosses it in his mouth. He chews slowly, his eyes glassy. “One night my dad got drunk,” he continues. “Spent the whole time yelling at me. So I went over to Tonya’s and spent the night there and, I don’t know. One thing led to another. She was trying to comfort me physically, and I really needed it. We didn’t talk about it after that. Then an old high school buddy of ours called me. Said he’d moved to San Francisco and wanted me to visit. So I drove out there. I needed to get away from my dad for a while. I asked Tonya if she wanted to come, but she said no. Said she had other things to attend to. Little did I know that that thing was Aaron.”
“She never told you about him?” I asked.
“Not at first. Maybe she thought she’d just tell me when I got back from my trip.”
“But you never went back home,” I say.
Bryan looks around at the people in the bar, buzzing with conversations. “I stepped one foot in here, and I knew I’d found the home I’d been looking for. Everything hiding inside me came rushing right out. I finally understood what it was my dad hated so much about me. And why I could never go back home again.”
“Tonya told you about Aaron eventually, though, right?” I ask.
“Yes. But not until Aaron was in grade school. We’d fallen out of touch by then. Her parents helped her raise him. They didn’t need me. I was too involved in myself, anyway, exploring, experimenting. This was at the height of the AIDS epidemic, mind you. Tonya and I both agreed I should just stay out here and live my life. Let her and Aaron live theirs.”
“Later on, didn’t you want to see him?”
Bryan’s eyes well up. “I did. But by then, Tonya had told him that his father was just a stranger who breezed through town and never thought twice about knocking her up. I know she didn’t mean it that way, but I became the deadbeat dad. Years later, when she called saying that Aaron was coming out here with his boyfriend? By god, I just about fell off this damn barstool. My son was gay. My son! So I told her to send him my way. I’d help them get set up, give him a job, whatever he needed. But when he was here, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him the truth. I tried. But the first time I brought up the subject of his dad, his eyes went cold. ‘Whoever that bastard is, he can stay the hell out of my life,’ he said. So I kept my mouth shut. What else could I do? I’d just found him. I didn’t want to lose him again. But it didn’t matter. I ended up losing him anyway.”
“You had him here next to you, all this time. Even though you could never find a way to tell him you were his family,” I say. “You know, he told me working here felt like home to him for some reason. Now I know why.”
“This place is home. For both of us.” Bryan suddenly looks up. “I think I have an idea. Will you excuse me?” he says, slipping off the barstool to head back to the office.
I watch him go, hopeful that he’s come up with something that might help him salvage his relationship with Aaron. “Hey, Loretta, could I have a cosmo?” I ask.
She nods and prepares my drink. “Bryan’s like a father to us all,” she says. “But especially Aaron. I’m not really surprised he’s Bryan’s son.”
“But Aaron is,” I say. “And he never had a clue.”
Loretta slides the cosmo over to me, the cold sides of the glass beaded with condensation. “I really like Aaron. He’s a nice guy. Great manager. But not the most aware person. Notice how he always calls everyone buddy ? It’s because he can’t remember names or recognize faces to save his life. He doesn’t always see what’s right in front of him.”
That certainly explains a lot.
Bryan shuffles back from the office. “Aaron said he’ll come back,” he says to me and Loretta, not looking as happy as I expect him to be.
“You’re not telling us something,” I say.
“I wanted to apologize,” Bryan says. “I was going to make an offer to him. He wouldn’t let me talk. Said he’d be ready to listen once he gets back.” Bryan smiles weakly. “But he wouldn’t tell me when. Could be tomorrow. Could be next month. Who knows?”
Loretta places a can of soda and a glass of ice in front of Bryan. Without even looking, he opens the tab with a snap and pours the soda into his glass, the bubbling liquid hissing as it slides over the ice.
“But thank you for trying to help.” Bryan swirls his soda mindlessly. “At least we’ve got Regina Moon Dee. Without her, this bar would be two nights away from shutting down. Another thing I have to thank you for. I tell you, I’m really looking forward to Saturday now. Your friend’s gonna save me from my sorrows.”
We both drink in silence. I’m glad that I’ll be cheering Bryan up this weekend, but that seems so far away. There must be something I can do now. I mull over various things I could say to Aaron to try to get him to hear Bryan out and cut him slack for lying all this time.
But the fact that I’ve never been fully honest with Aaron pricks at me, making me uneasy about attempting to be some voice of reason.
My phone vibrates in my pocket. It’s Eva.
“Don’t kill me, big bro,” she says.
“What happened?”
“I made a mistake.”
“You’re supposed to be the smart one,” I say. “What, did you mess up a recipe?”
“Way worse than that. I kinda told Dad where Mom and I have been going every Saturday. To see you.”
“What?” I slip off my stool and exit the Pink Unicorn so that I can hear Eva better. “Say that again. I must’ve heard you wrong. You would never make a mistake like that.”
“Don’t worry, I didn’t say anything about you being back in drag. Just that you’ve been working there on Saturdays. We were singing karaoke at home, and I said the Pink Unicorn had this fancy new request system now and that you kind of figured out how to use it better and now a lot of people go there on Saturdays. Including me and Mom.”
“Eva!”
“Sorry! It just slipped out! I mean, you already told him you were helping Aaron with some ideas for improving the place, right?”
I stare out into the night. Long, gray clouds crawl across a tiny sliver of a moon.
“Yeah, I did,” I say. “I guess it’s not so bad.”
“Except…”
“Except what?” I ask.
“Except now he wants to come to karaoke night at the Pink Unicorn to spend time with all of us. This Saturday. When you’re hosting as Regina Moon Dee,” Eva says. “And he won’t take no for an answer.”