Chapter Thirty-One
Kari
Watching Bowie leave his office, Kari was surprised he wasn’t walking bow legged after all the sex they’d had over his heat, and since.
Popi hadn’t lied, Bowie was insatiable during his heat, and it turned out after it, too.
He had definitely discovered the joys of sex.
Of Kari’s knot. He’d never contemplated knotting with anyone before.
He couldn’t rightly say why, other than that it had never seemed like something he’d wanted to do.
But one look at that doe eyed, pleading expression and Kari was done for.
Twice more he’d knotted with Bowie, and his wolf had been disappointed when they’d scented Bowie to see if they’d created a pup.
Kari didn’t know what to make of it when he wasn’t disappointed. He loved children, he did, but for now he just wanted to dote on Bowie. Make him the center of his world.
This was where things got tricky. He’d never had so much trouble holding back his wolf side when he was with someone intimately. Kari felt every one of his years, and it wasn’t all because of the sex. He was stressed and tired of fighting to keep control.
If you just listened to reason, we wouldn’t be fighting.
Kari’s back molars ground together in irritation. It was a state he was getting very used to.
This isn’t a black and white situation. It isn’t a case of listening to you. We must listen to Bowie.
He wants us.
I know he does, but he isn’t talking about our relationship to anyone.
Kari was sure of that, or his brothers would know what was going on by now.
Running a hand over his jaw, he cursed under his breath at how his animal growled at him.
In part, Kari understood his animal’s angst. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep up the pretense that there was nothing going on between him and Bowie.
Things had become increasingly difficult to manage while at work when Kari had to resist behaving as he would in Bowie’s apartment.
There, they were in their own little bubble.
Kari loved it because he got to be himself, but he was finding it more difficult to act like Bowie wasn’t his universe in front of others.
His phone alerts went crazy, and he reached for it, looking for something else to think about. What he got instead was a sense of dread when his gaze skimmed over the group chat.
We’re all going to Silas’s ranch, fuck me!
How was he going to cope on the ranch, unable to be with Bowie—at all?
Why the fuck did he need to go on a team building excursion to the ranch? He had always been a damn team player. The door hit the wall with a loud thud, and Kodi came stomping in.
“I fucking hate the ranch!” he exclaimed, loudly enough to be heard by everyone on the floor.
Kari’s secretary appeared in the doorway, and he gave her a smile to say it was fine, then met Kodi’s furiousness with indifference. “That may be so, but Dad wants us to do this, and are you going to argue with him?”
Kodi slumped into the seat in front of him and groaned. “Of course not!”
“It’s a week, what’s the worst that can happen?”
Kari was a damn fool to have spouted that at Kodi when he drove home later that evening, sensing Bowie’s distress when he didn’t wait for Kari to help him like usual.
His gaze never strayed from the window. Withdrawn and quiet wasn’t Bowie on their journeys home.
He was seldom like this, always eager to talk about things that happened with Emmy, mostly.
The radio silence between them was deafening and Kari was uneasy enough to remain silent after his attempts to coax Bowie to talk failed.
Was this to do with the lawyer’s visit this afternoon?
He couldn’t see how, when the pending court case was now more of a formality when Rex had finally pleaded guilty.
If Rex was hoping for a reduced sentence for admitting to what he did, then he was plum out of luck.
Dad’s investigator had found two more of Rex’s victims who had spoken out.
It added weight to the sentencing and Bowie’s testimony.
They should be riding a high, only that wasn’t what he was happening.
The second they were inside the apartment, Kari had no time to try and get Bowie to talk to him.
When he turned around, mouth open to ask Bowie what was wrong, his boy buried his face into Kari’s suit jacket, clinging on.
When a sob escaped, Kari automatically dropped the bag that held paperwork to go through and held Bowie close.
“What is it? Talk to Daddy. Let me help fix whatever is wrong.”
“What if they separate us?”
Kari blinked in confusion, his mind racing to find the connection to what was worrying Bowie.
“At the ranch?” he finally guessed.
Bowie nodded, another sob escaping.
Kari never gave false promises, and as much as he wanted to, he just couldn’t.
“It’s only for a week, and I’ll be right there with you.
We can always find some place to sneak off to for a cuddle,” he suggested, adding as much enthusiasm as he could muster, because Kari didn’t want to be separated either.
That suggestion got Bowie to lift his head, his doe eyes drenched with tears. “Really?”
Kari absorbed the sucker punch at seeing Bowie like this and held him closer.
The temptation was to offer a solution he wanted Bowie to come to on his own terms. Because the answer was to tell everyone they were a couple.
Bowie avoided conversation on this subject, and Kari had already decided to stop mentioning it.
Everyone went at their own pace, and he couldn’t rush Bowie, as much as he wanted to.
“Yes. It’ll be fun. Like a holiday, with fun stuff to do. You like animals, we might get to cuddle some of them, too.”
Bowie visibly perked up at that. “You think so?”
Kari would ask Silas, and if he said no then Kari would check out the surrounding ranches. He did not want to wipe away the hope if they were going to be separated.
Alphaholes
Kodi: Is this shit catching?
Kari: What shit would you be referring to?
Ranch life had turned out to be much more interesting than any of them could have imagined.
They hadn’t separated him and Bowie, although that wasn’t what made it interesting!
Rue sneaking off with Monty into town, getting up to God knows what with the guy at Ranch Down, the bar in town.
Then Silas pulls a fast one and drops a clanger when Kari wasn’t around.
Kari had snuck off to retrieve a parcel that arrived.
One sent to the main house so he could hide what he’d ordered for Bowie from his brothers.
While he was sneaking off, he missed all the fun!
Silas had announced that he and Ziggy were engaged.
Kari had figured out the relationship part, but engaged?
He was blown away, like his brothers, by that news.
Especially when it seemed Silas had told Laken before Booker. On what planet did that ever happen?
The shocker was how glad Kari was not to have been present when his initial reaction was envy at Silas being able to share the news that he was in a loving relationship.
Taylin, Booker and now Silas were all able to be open about their relationships.
It was fucking wearing being the brother with a special someone he couldn’t talk about.
It hurt his heart after spending a week on the ranch, watching Bowie and falling deeper for him.
He was such a precious human, who had found such joy in the simplest of things.
Being around the smaller animals, Bowie was an utter delight.
On their afternoons, when they had more free time to do their own thing, more often than not Bowie gravitated to the hen houses.
Kari witnessed Bowie fall in love with the tiny chicks, which he was super careful with.
The affection he shared with them was just too damn adorable.
So much so, and because there was no way he could give Bowie the real thing, as much as he wanted to, he’d searched online for a stuffie that looked like one of the tiny chicks.
Kari had found a cute one and had it sent to the main house, which was why he had missed the big announcement.
Kodi: This romantic crap that seems to be spreading like shit on a stick.
Laken: Ever the romantic Kodi!
Kodi: How is it romantic to blubber all over the damn place? Silas… fucksake, when does he blubber like a baby? WHEN? In what universe does my big brother turn into a crybaby?
Silas: Popi was upset. I got upset. Simple as that, you asshole.
Kodi: Those tears had fuck all to do with Popi. So don’t go blamin’ him. You’re as bad as Taylin. Only you haven’t been daft enough to mate Ziggy, so there is that.
Dad: Are you saying I was daft to mate with your popi?
Silas: Sits back with the popcorn and pats the damn fucking seat in the peanut gallery!
Kodi: I wasn’t talkin’ ‘bout you and Popi, Dad. Jeez, I was just making a generalization.
Laken: I’d stop digging now if I were you, Kodi.
Rue: Come on, Silas lost his shit and was cryin’ louder than Emmy. I mean doesn’t he deserve a little ribbing for that, Dad? We’re brothers, it’s our job to keep it real.
Dad: Just remember all this when the shoe is on the other foot. The kicking back will be your own fault.
Rue: Ain’t gonna happen.
Silas: I said the same, and so did Booker. Love is a sneaky fucker and captures you better than a lasso you didn’t see coming. Once it’s around your heart, there ain’t nothing that removes it.
Kari read what Silas wrote, and tears welled in his eyes when it resonated deeply for him.
Where love was concerned, he didn’t want to remove it or sneak around.
But he couldn’t put his damn heart out there to show everyone.
He was nothing like Kodi. And though his brother was deflecting for him in the group chat, acting like Kari was the same as him, Kodi was hiding just as much as Kari.
Just for different reasons. As much as Kari wanted to deflect right now, he couldn’t when the envy was real.
A green-eyed monster that wanted out more and more, the harder Kari pushed it back inside the box it was contained in, all in the name of protecting Bowie.
It was a double-edged sword, and Kari didn’t know how to stop cutting himself on it, again and again and again. Would his love bleed dry by the time Bowie made a decision? He shuddered violently at the very thought when it felt selfish.
Dad: I couldn’t have put it better myself, Silas.
Rue: Then I better get eyes in the back of my head, cause if it turns grown alphas into crybabies, I want no part in it!
Jupiter: Preaching to the converted.
Dad: There is nothing wrong with tears. They aren’t weakness. They show strength of character, and your Popi has cried with all of you. For you. Think on this, do you believe him to be weak or strong?
Kodi: Ah fuck, Dad.
Silas: You’re cryin’ aren’t you…
Kari, sitting on the edge of the bed, shut his eyes, releasing a groan of distress.
The conversation made it harder for him to shy away from what he wanted.
Popi was the strongest of them all and had taught them all how vital love was.
How it should be given with no strings. Then why did he feel so wrapped up in them suddenly?
He wiped at his cheeks reading what Dad had written, feeling an ache develop in the center of his chest. Love? Gods, it defined a person. He had so much of it for Bowie… yet, why wasn’t it enough?
He shifted his gaze to the box he had wrapped and placed on Bowie’s pillow for when he returned.
They were leaving in the morning, and Kari was conflicted for the first time in his life about his next steps.
Dad professing Popi had cried with them all had him going into his contact list and dialing Popi’s number, needing someone to talk him off the edge of insanity.