Chapter 9 #3
He raked his hand through his blond hair and glanced around the hallway.
Brian was so cute. I’d always thought so.
He was the first boy I’d ever liked as more than a friend.
Before the accident, I was about to ask him to go to the homecoming dance with me, but I never got the chance.
Now the idea of ever dating him was very unlikely. He was way out of my league.
He and Rosie went to homecoming together instead.
I saw their pictures online and cried in my closet.
Brian was much taller than he’d been last year, by almost four inches, and he styled his hair perfectly all the time. His eyes were blue, and his smile was one of my favorite things. It wasn’t shocking that Rosie liked him. He was so handsome and kind.
I missed hanging out with him and going to football games to cheer him on.
I wondered if he missed me as much as I missed him.
“Well, I should let you get to class. I’m gonna get my ass chewed out for being late to gym. You know how Mr. Reece can be about people being late to gym,” he said.
I nodded, even though I didn’t take gym class with Mr. Reece. I’d probably never take a gym class again.
Brian turned around to walk away and then paused before looking at me again. “Hey, Karla?”
“Yeah?”
“That was shitty, what those guys did in the cafeteria to you.”
My mind started to spin into a panic, knowing that Brian witnessed me being bullied. I didn’t know why that upset me so much. I felt ashamed that I lived in the same world as him and he could see how pathetic I was.
“It’s fine,” I told him.
He shook his head. “It’s not.” He glanced around the empty hallways once more before stepping closer toward me. “I think they’re assholes,” he whispered.
“Yeah,” I agreed. “Me too.”
“OK. Well. Are you good, though?” He moved in closer.
My heart beat faster.
“Good?” I asked.
He nodded. “Yeah. Like . . . are you OK?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Yeah. I’m always OK.”
Brian narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “You don’t have to do that, Karla.”
“Do what?”
“Lie.”
I went to push out a fake smile, but it fell short.
Brian could always see me a little better than others.
“It’s fine. That’s just my life now. I’m OK even when I’m . . . not.”
He lowered his head and stared at his sneakers. “That’s not fair.”
“Yeah,” I agreed. “But life’s like that.”
He parted his mouth as if he was going to say something else, but Mr. Hawkins, the librarian, started to walk in our direction. “Hey, you two, get to class! Hurry up!” Mr. Hawkins shouted. I knew him pretty well, seeing as how I preferred to be surrounded by books instead of humans.
The second Mr. Hawkins noticed me, he cleared his throat and stood straighter. “Well, you don’t have to hurry, per se, but well, just get to class, all right?”
I was sure the “don’t hurry” statement was made because I could not, in fact, rush. Even when I wanted to dash away into hiding from embarrassment like right then and there.
Brian shrugged and gave me a goofy grin that I loved. “See ya later, Karla. Bye, Mr. Hawkins.”
Brian hurried away—in a sprint, the lucky jerk—and I stood still for a moment, trying to come to terms with the fact that I still had to make it to my locker and back up those dang stairs to head back to class.
By the time I got there, biology would probably be over, and I’d have to head back down the stairs to get to my next class.
School was so freaking exhausting.
Mr. Hawkins came closer and smiled kindly at me. “Brian wasn’t bothering you, was he?” he asked, fearful that whenever someone talked to me, they were bullying me. It wasn’t a far-fetched belief.
But not Brian.
He’d never bully me.
If anything, he was the closest thing I still had to an old friend. Sometimes Missy would look my way, and I thought I’d see a flicker of my old friend, but that look would vanish the moment Colton showed up.
“No, Mr. Hawkins. He was helping me because I dropped my books.”
Mr. Hawkins stared at me as if he didn’t believe me, but then he waved me off. “OK, get to where you were getting to.” He pulled out a piece of paper and scribbled against it. “Here’s a late slip so you don’t get in trouble for being behind. Take your time, Karla.”
I took the slip from his hand and thanked him.
The average person would’ve taken one minute to get to their locker, shoot up the stairs, and slip into biology class.
It took me seven minutes.
Halfway through, I wanted to cry.
* * *
“Good afternoon! How was your day?” Ellie asked me when she picked me up from school. I grumbled and slid into the back seat. That was enough of an answer, and the only one she’d get.
Luckily for me, Ellie had learned quickly that I didn’t like when people badgered me with questions. She always let it go and put on music.
Music that surprisingly didn’t suck. I had been convinced that Ellie had bad music choices because of her basic-chick nature. Boy, was I wrong.
Today, there was one song called “My Happy Ending” by someone named Avril Lavigne, and as I sat in the back seat of the car, it felt as if my heart was going to explode out of my chest. Mom would’ve loved that song.
Halfway through the song, I wanted to cry again.