Chapter 12 #4
Behind her came Ellie, who looked flustered.
Lorelai could be a handful at times; it was no shock that Ellie looked overwhelmed as she said, “Lorelai, I go to the bathroom for one second and you dart away! I told you: Karla is having private time with her friend. Let’s go finish reading some books. ”
Lorelai ignored Ellie and turned straight to Ash. She stilled her movement and tilted her head to look at Ash. “Are you Karla’s boyfriend?”
“Lorelai! Go to your room!” I shouted, feeling my cheeks heat up from an overwhelming amount of embarrassment.
Ash didn’t seem phased by the question. “I’m Ash. A good friend of Karla’s.” He leaned in her direction. “What’s your name?”
“I’m Lorelai. I’m Karla’s sister and her friend, too.” She leaned in and whispered, “Even though she’s kinda grumpy sometimes.”
“Lorelai!” I hollered.
She seemed unfazed by my irritation and just gave me a big smirk that mirrored Mom’s. Then she stuck her tongue out toward me.
“Ellie, can you get rid of her?” I begged.
“Or we can play a round of Jenga with her,” Ash offered.
Lorelai’s eyes lit up. “Karla never lets me play with her.”
“That’s not true,” I grumbled, crossing my arms over my chest. Even though it was kind of true.
“Yes, it is,” Lorelai replied. “Can I sit in your lap, Ash?” she asked, holding her arms in the air toward him.
He was quick to lift her and place her on his lap. Lucky Lorelai. Within seconds, the two of them were in full buddy-buddy mode, making jokes and playing Jenga. Lorelai and Ash won three rounds. I won once.
Around five in the afternoon, Ash had to leave. “OK, I should get home. I still have some homework to get done. But today was great,” he said.
He lifted Lorelai off his lap, and she gave him a tight hug. “Can we be friends, too, Ash?” Lorelai asked.
He bopped her nose with his finger. “I’d love to be your friend.”
Lorelai turned to me and gave me a “ha-ha, he’s my friend, too” smirk before she wandered off to find Ellie and probably tell her the news about her newfound friendship.
I grumbled. “Sorry about her. She’s a handful and annoying.”
“She’s cute.” Ash stood and brushed his hand against the back of his neck. “I’d give anything to have my brother annoy me one last time.”
A pit of guilt hit me. “Ash—”
He shook his head. “It’s fine. Really. I had a great time. Thanks for having me over, Karla.”
“No problem.” I stood, still feeling those freaking butterflies. I walked him to the front porch, and he picked up his bike that he rode over to the house earlier.
He then smiled up at me. “Friendship,” he said. “Two words in one. You and me. Friendship.”
My cheeks heated up as I said bye.
He sped off down the driveway, to the sidewalk, and I stood there until he disappeared around the corner.
Ellie joined me on the porch and looked in the direction that Ash was headed. “What a sweet young man,” she remarked.
I didn’t reply.
But I agreed.
Ash was the kind of sweet that could give someone a toothache. I’d be happy with a toothache if it was because of him.
That night, I took a long Epsom salt bath to try to shift some of the pain shooting through my body. It didn’t help much, but I didn’t mind. Pain was so familiar to me that I could hardly imagine a day when things would stop physically hurting.
After the bath, I lay in my bed, watching my ceiling fan spin.
I couldn’t sleep because I kept replaying every single moment with Ash that day.
It was so great. He was so great. I was .
. . happy? Was I? Was this what happiness felt like?
It had been such a long time since I felt something like this.
Around midnight, there was a knock at my door. I looked up to see Dad standing in the doorway.
I took off my headphones and raised an eyebrow at him.
He crossed his arms over his chest, still wearing his work suit. Sometimes, I wondered if he even changed out of work mode. I couldn’t remember the last time he looked solely like my father.
He stood there with a somber look for a while before the silence drove me bonkers.
“Can I help you?” I snapped at him. I always sounded like I had an attitude toward him. I didn’t know why I did that. I was so mean to him. I wished I wasn’t. I wished I could be nicer to him, even though he hadn’t really been there for me.
I wished we could be us again.
Or at least something more than what we were now.
“Right, yes. Uh . . . how was . . . today?” he asked. “Your time with your friend?”
“Fine.”
“Just fine?”
I wanted to tell him it was amazing. I wanted to tell him how many grapes Ash and I caught, and how I lost at Jenga, and how seeing Lorelai and Ash interact was my new favorite thing.
I wanted to tell him that Ash played basketball, just like he did in high school, and maybe the two of them could play together some day.
I wanted to tell him how many times I smiled today.
How many times I laughed. I didn’t even know I could still laugh until Ash dragged the sound from my vocal chords.
I wanted to tell him about my butterflies, and how I had nerves that I didn’t know how to deal with.
I wanted to say it was the best day of my life, even though I thought I’d never have best days again.
I wanted to tell him everything. Every little thing about the day I’d had.
About wordlets. About little toy trucks.
About Rian. About Ash. About friendship. About me.
I wanted to tell him about me so there could be an us again.
Instead, I shrugged and replied, “Yes. Fine.”
His facial expression shifted from a grimace to a frown. “OK. Well, get some sleep. You shouldn’t be up this late.”
“You shouldn’t be, either.”
He nodded. “You’re right.”
He turned to leave, and that pull in my gut kept being tugged.
Stop being stubborn, Karla. Say something.
Anything.
Anything at all.
“Dad?” I choked out.
He looked over his shoulder toward me. “Yes?”
I wrapped my arms around my body, afraid to be vulnerable in front of him. “Thanks for letting Ash come over. It was fun.”
Dad smiled.
I couldn’t recall the last time he’d done that. It felt like such a foreign expression. One I didn’t know I missed so much until he did it right then and there.
“Good. I’m glad.” He paused and scratched at his beard that clearly needed a trim. “I don’t feel comfortable with you going to his house because you’re still grounded and I don’t want you at a boy’s house without supervision, but you can have him over whenever you please.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really.”
My heart beat a little faster that night. I wanted to hug him, but I didn’t.
“Good night, Karla,” Dad said before shutting off my light.
He was right about that, too, just as Ash had been when he said it earlier.
It was a good night.
* * *
The next day at school, a pack of Reese’s was on my desk. I smiled at Ash. He tipped his invisible hat my way. I sat in my seat and turned in his direction. “I know my favorite wordlet.”
He arched an eyebrow. “Do tell.”
“Butterflies.”
“Ah, yes. Butter flies. I approve of this choice.”
I turned to face forward and felt every single one of those butterflies, too. The next day when I sat at my desk, there was a folded piece of paper. I opened it and quietly chuckled to myself.
Ash had drawn a stick of butter with flies sitting all over it.