Chapter 39
Karla
Two weeks after Ash showed up to Second Chance, he stayed on my mind. I hated that, because whenever I’d think of him, I’d think of us—of what we used to be, at least. Then I’d think about what would’ve happened if he never made me fade to black.
Would we still be friends?
Would we have fallen in love?
More in love.
It was no secret that I loved Ash when I was younger. There was no getting around that. I once read somewhere that to be loved is to be seen, and I understood exactly what that meant. Because back then, I saw Ash for who he was, and I loved him for exactly that reason.
But I couldn’t fall into the trap of thinking about Ashish Banks in that way. I knew nothing good would come from wondering about him. Especially wondering if he was wondering about me, too.
The only thing that kept me busy was running my bookshop.
Lorelai and Ellie came in often, Ellie each morning and Lorelai in the afternoons.
They loved to help me stock shelves and sort through novels in the back room.
On an early morning, Ellie was running the register for me as I stood on the fifth step on a ladder, adding a book to the top shelf.
If Dad was there, he would’ve told me to not climb a ladder due to my limp and pain in my left leg, but I felt good lately.
I started a Pilates class with Ellie, and I could definitely notice a slight improvement in my pain.
Though the pain was always there, it was whispering a little quieter recently.
As I was placing the final books on the shelf, the bell over the front door rang. I looked over to see a familiar face walk into the shop.
The gentleman was still in his work uniform, one that looked remarkably similar to Ash’s. As I was distracted by his entrance, I almost lost my footing. The guy hurried over and steadied my stance. “Careful there,” he said as he helped me down the ladder.
I combed my hand over my face as my feet touched the floor. I glanced over at Ellie, who didn’t witness my almost tumble. Good. She would’ve definitely told Dad, and I would’ve been forbidden to ever set foot on a ladder again.
Unfortunately, as I stepped off the final step, a slice of pain rippled up my left leg.
I tried to push past the pain as I smiled at the guy.
Or at least, I tried my best to not showcase my discomfort.
It was remarkable how a person in constant pain could look perfectly fine to those outside of their struggles.
“Thank you,” I said, giving the guy a small smile. “I hope you don’t charge my insurance for that assistance,” I joked, nodding toward his paramedic shirt.
“Luckily for you, I’m off the clock,” he replied. He smiled largely and crossed his arms over his chest. “I don’t know if you would remember, but I was one of the paramedics that was called to your bookshop a few weeks ago. We took care of your grandmother, I believe.”
“Oh, yes. I remember, um . . . ?”
“Oh, Chase.” He held a hand out toward me. “Judging by your name tag, you must be Karla.”
“The one and only.” I smiled and shook his hand. “Nice to meet you, Chase. Thank you again for helping my grandmother. She’s doing much better and is getting the right treatments.”
Chase nodded as he dropped my handshake. “I’m glad to hear it.”
He stood there for a moment, not saying anything. When one too many seconds passed without him speaking, I cleared my throat. “Um, can I help you find something? Are you in the market for a used novel? I can even give you the twenty-percent-off-for-saving-the-owner’s-grandmother discount,” I said.
“No, no. Not much of a reader, if I’m honest.”
“Oh, Chase. I think that means you haven’t found the right book just yet.”
“Is that right?”
“Sure is. Once you find the right book, well, that just changes everything.”
He laughed and slid his hands into his pockets. “I’ll take your word on that.”
I narrowed my eyes. “I must admit, if you’re not interested in a book, what brings you . . . ?”
“Right, sorry. I am actually here on behalf of my partner, Ash.”
My heart skipped simply from the mention of Ash’s name. Stupid heart, how dare you skip for him?
“Oh?” I asked.
“Yeah, I just . . . I used to work with Ash’s dad, Samuel, before he passed away.”
“Goodness . . .”
He nodded. “Yeah. I was the new kid on the block when I joined Samuel. A lot of the other guys gave me shit and treated me like a rookie. Samuel didn’t though. He treated me like his partner. He treated me like a friend. I was there the day Samuel lost his life. I was the one who gave him CPR.”
My heart pounded against my rib cage as I listened to Chase.
His eyes were glassy with emotion as he recalled the memory of being with Samuel on that fatal day. It was clear that that situation was burned into his memory. Yet I didn’t completely understand why he was sharing this information with me.
“I can only imagine how hard that was for you, Chase.”
“It was the hardest day of my life. Going to his funeral was the second hardest day of my life, because I saw Samuel’s son fall completely apart at his casket.
The look of pain in Ash’s eyes is something I’d never forget.
I’ve seen a lot of people lost in life. It comes with the territory at times.
But I’ve never seen anyone as shattered as Ash that day.
It wasn’t for another year that I saw him again.
He moved back to Chicago and was looking to join the squad.
I made sure he was given to me to mentor, so I could take him under my wing the same way his father took me under his. ”
“That’s beautiful.”
“That’s family.” He grinned, but it looked almost like a frown.
“But ever since I first saw Ash, he’s had those same broken eyes that he had at the funeral.
For a while, I thought it was grief, but then it never really went away.
I figured he’d always be like that. Up until a couple weeks ago.
” Chase brushed his thumb against his nose and continued.
“A couple weeks ago, I saw something else in his eyes than the heaviness that seemed to be sitting on his shoulders. I saw something that I didn’t think I’d ever see in that man. I’m still stunned by how he looked.”
My heart continued to beat against my chest at a rapid speed. I felt flush and dizzy as Chase’s words settled into my brain. I couldn’t even form a sentence in response.
“Listen, I don’t know what happened between you and Ash,” Chase stated.
“I just know he regrets it to his core, and he also respects you enough to stay away forever. But if there’s any part of you that still has a soft spot in your heart for him, then please .
. . let him back in. Ash is a good guy with a fantastic heart.
I just want that heart to start beating again.
And I think what he could really go for is a friend like you.
” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a business card.
“Here’s Ash’s phone number. If you feel like shooting him a text, I think he’d appreciate that. ”
I took the card from him, and Chase turned to walk away.
I called out to him.
Chase faced me. “Yeah?”
“You said a couple weeks ago, you saw a new look in him. What was it? What did he look like?”
“Alive.” He nodded in my direction. “He looked alive, Karla.”
* * *
Karla: Ash?
Ash: Who is this?
Karla: It’s Karla East.
Ash: Oh . . .
Ash: Hi.
I swallowed hard as I stared at my glowing cell phone in my pitch-black bedroom.
Karla: Hi.