Chapter 47
It’s been two weeks since I came home. I rested for another week before I started to go crazy from Taylor and Lauren’s fussing. I love them, but if they tried to sponge bathe me one more time, I was going to stab myself just to get away from them. I just want everything to go back to normal.
The police left us alone, and the streets are like nothing happened. I’m free to be who I was before, yet as I climb onto my bike, I hesitate. Was my life always this . . . lonely?
I miss them. I miss attacking them and winding them up. I miss their arms and laughter. I shouldn’t, it was just sex, but this stupid thing in my chest won’t listen to me.
I might have to carve out the traitorous organ.
I know they have been talking to Taylor every day, and she almost seems to like them now.
I have no idea how they managed that, but I don’t ask, and I don’t answer when they text or call.
If I do, I will be dragged back to all that.
No, it’s better this way. They have too many enemies, and I have too many issues.
I don’t belong in their world, no matter what we want.
Shoving my helmet on, I turn the engine over and pull onto the road, speeding up to outrun my wicked thoughts.
I need a good fight, which always cheers me up, but everyone is being so careful with me.
I finally got Reacher to tell me that the Sai brothers put out word that if they saw me sparring or fighting, they would come after whoever it was.
The pricks. They are taking all my fun away.
What am I supposed to do without murder and mayhem?
My stomach aches as I turn the corner, careful of my stitches.
I’m still healing, and if I don’t want any complications, then I need to be careful.
Willow comes to see me every day, and I don’t want her to get angry with me, so I slow the bike.
I’m still over the speed limit, but at least I’m not pulling my side anymore.
When I pull up at Reacher’s, I glance back just in time for a black SUV to pull into the lot and park. My eyes narrow as Dodge gets out and opens the back door. Kane slips out and leans against the passenger side. His phone is in his hand, but his eyes are only for me.
What the fuck is he doing here?
I expect him to say something or come after me, but he just watches, even when I go inside and talk with Reacher. When I come out, he’s still there, and when I climb onto my bike to head home, the SUV follows me the entire way.
It’s like I’m being hunted.
Over the next few days, I see them everywhere I go. They either don’t care that I can see them or they just gave up being discreet.
The Sai brothers are stalking me. Usually, I enjoy a bit of light stalking, but it’s starting to piss me off—mainly because they look so good while they do it.
I glare from under my sunglasses as Neo waves, leaning against a familiar black Mercedes parked across the road from the shop I was in, grabbing food for our girls’ night tonight.
This morning, I saw Zayn in the gym I warmed up in, and he winked.
Last night, I looked out of my window and saw Kane sitting outside my house.
He pointed back to bed and blew me a kiss.
They are insane.
I try my best to ignore them as I climb back on my bike, hoping they will get bored and leave me alone. By the time I’m home and the movie is on, I can’t stop thinking about them.
“They are crazy,” I grumble, and Taylor looks at me in question. “Those Sai assholes are stalking me.”
“Of course they are.” She shrugs. “Have been since you got back. You just didn’t see them.”
“Idiots. What do they think will happen? They need to take a hint and go back to their lives.”
She sighs, focusing on the movie.
“What’s that noise for?” I ask.
“I love you, Bexley,” she says as she mutes the TV, “but you weren’t having any fun until you met them.
I saw the way you were with them. You enjoyed fighting with them, enjoyed their company.
You looked happy. You have protected Lauren and me for years, and you’ve earned enough so we can have the life we want.
You’ve fought so hard to be someone people can depend on, but you were never happy.
I’m not saying you didn’t have days where you were, but under it all, you weren’t.
You were sad and lonely and scared. When I saw you with them, you weren’t.
Did you even notice that you still look around, and when you see them, you relax? Stop being an idiot and accept it.”
“You hate them,” I mutter, ignoring her other comments.
“They are . . . okay. If anyone was going to put up with your crazy ass, it would have to be someone as batshit as you. They are, and they are obviously serious.”
“They bribed you.” I narrow my eyes, feeling both pride and annoyance.
“Maybe. The gifts were nice, but honestly, all the money in the world wouldn’t matter if you didn’t love them, but you do.
You can fight it all you want, but I know you, Bex, better than anyone, and you miss them.
Stop being so stubborn. The world won’t fall apart if you allow yourself to love them.
” She pats my hand. “We’re not kids anymore.
You don’t have to take on the world for us.
It’s time to move on and make a new life.
I want you to be loved. I want you to be with someone who can stand at your side. ”
“I have you,” I grumble.
“You do, but it’s not the same. I can’t walk by your side, Bexley.
I’m not the same as you, but they are. They know all of you, and yet they are still here.
That means something. Trust me, no one else would put up with your reckless ass.
Besides, they are rich, and there are three of them.
When they annoy you, you can simply kill one and still have the rest.”
I smile then admit, “I’m scared. I don’t know how to . . . love or let someone love me. My parents didn’t, Butcher . . . I’m broken, Tay. That part of me is broken. It scares me how deeply they want me.”
“Because you’re worried they’ll leave one day and you’ll be alone all over again,” she surmises, and I turn my head to her.
“You aren’t so mysterious and hard to read.
No one can predict the future, Bexley, so stop hesitating because of what-ifs.
Besides, you’ll never be alone. You’ll always have us. ”
“They love the fantasy of me, not me.”
“No? Because they are still here after everything. They love you. Give them a chance. They might surprise you. It’s time to stop being so scared, Bex.
It’s time to be as brave with love as you are with every other part of your life.
Being alone is fine if that’s what you want, and you did before them, which is why I never pushed it, but you don’t want to be now.
I see you searching for them every day. You might not be ready to admit it, but you love them.
Stop living for everyone else. Live for yourself now. Be happy. That’s all we want.”
“They are overgrown brats, rich, and stuck-up. They are insane and think they are the best—”
“Sounds like someone I know,” she interrupts.
“They are killers, mafia leaders—”
“Then be theirs,” she teases. “Keep them in line. Stop finding excuses. You don’t need to find reasons why you want them around. You don’t have to justify how you feel, Bexley, not even to me.”
“Taylor is right,” Lauren says, looking at me seriously. “I like them. They are good for you. Now either kill them so they stop scaring my friends when they come over or get it on with them. Either way, decide, and let’s finish this movie before I have to finish my homework.”
“Kids,” Taylor grumbles.
“She never changes,” I mutter, but I hit play, and she settles in. Taylor’s hand covers mine, and I look at her, seeing her smile softly.
“We want you to be happy. Figure out if they make you feel that way. Figure out if they are worth the risk. Give yourself a chance.” She focuses on the movie, and I glance out of the front window to see all three of them watching us.
It’s eleven at night and freezing, yet they stand there like they would wait forever.
Would they?
Are they serious about me?
And is Taylor right? Do I care for them? Even the thought sends a shudder of dread down my spine, but I have to admit I miss them.
Someone fucking kill me now, I think I might have fallen for the brothers.
The horror.