Chapter 20
20
Karma
Waking up in the clean sheets with all of LA rousing outside the huge windows of the hotel bedroom was almost better than falling asleep in them. Scorpio is still sleeping beside me, naked, his head buried in the pillow, his muscular back rising and falling with his even breaths. It’s his phone going off, rattling against the nightstand that woke me. I lean over him, pressing my chest against his warm back, enjoying the undulating softness as I switch it off. It was Joker calling, I saw that much. And all the warmth, sweet hardness of his body and the sheets that smell faintly of lavender can’t stop the chill rising in my chest at seeing it.
“Good morning,” he mutters as he somehow manages to wrap his arms around me and bury me under his body before giving me one of those morning kisses that are even better in reality than in dreams.
Funny that the phone call didn’t wake him, but my weight on his back instantly did. That’s better than dreams too.
A lot about our last two weeks together has been like that. And I don’t want to wonder how long that will last. But I do.
Grim clears his throat by the door, accompanied by a strong scent of freshly brewed coffee. It smells much better than anything I can make with my little machine. But I’m the one who makes the coffee. So instead of feeling glad I have some already waiting for me, I’m upset. What is with me this morning?
“It’s time to go,” Grim says.
That’s it. That’s the reason that nothing—not sweet good morning kisses from Scorpio, not the smell of lavender on the sheets, or the scent of freshly brewed coffee—can put me in a better mood.
“Do we have to?” I ask, but Scorpio has rolled off me and Grim’s already dressed. Right down to his boots and cut.
“We better,” Grim says. “Come on, I ordered breakfast. I hope you don’t mind. I can pay you back.”
That last was meant for Scorpio who’s sitting on the edge of the bed, frowning, his messed-up hair covering half his face as he checks his phone. It’s going off again. Joker really wants to get in touch with him. But he silences the phone and lays it screen down on the nightstand.
“No need, this was my idea so it’s my treat,” he says. “We can get some more stuff. Or at least empty the minibar before we leave. I won’t ever get to spend all the money anyway.”
Grim looks about as confused as I feel, but he just grunts, nods and leaves the bedroom. There was tension between them last night when we first got here. But they seemed to have worked it out in the hot tub later. I’d have joined them, but couldn’t share with them because of my new tattoos. And I figured maybe they needed some time alone. The tension seems to be rising again though, and it’s just another thing making me sad this morning.
Scorpio puts on his jeans and nothing else and doesn’t wait for me to get dressed too. I just grab the sheet off the bed and follow him out of the bedroom, determined to push away my depression, or whatever is gripping me, and make the most of this day. Starting with the clean, lavender-scented sheet, which I won’t give up until I absolutely must.
I find them sitting at the table on the terrace, each with a huge plate holding a normal sized portion of a bacon and eggs breakfast.
“I got some cereal and fruit for you, Karma,” Grim tells me when I join them. “In case you don’t want the eggs.”
That thaws a little bit of my chest. He can be so considerate when he wants to be. It’s been a while though. Guess the hotel stay worked to brighten his mood too. At least we’re not sitting here wallowing in sad memories. So why can’t I cheer up?
Scorpio’s phone is buzzing again. I can hear it through the open door of the bedroom which also leads onto this terrace.
“Should you get that?” Grim asks, his mouth full of eggs. “It’s been ringing for a while.”
Scorpio shakes his head. “It’ll just be about the war.”
He stuffs his mouth full of eggs, but his eyes are sad as he glances at me.
“What war?” Grim asks, looking confused and shocked as he freezes in the act of bringing more eggs to his mouth.
I already know about this, so I dig into my Cinnamon Toast Flakes—my favorite kind of cereal, which Grim also remembered when ordering breakfast this morning. I wish I could just be happy.
Scorpio scoffs. “What war? The one with Devil’s Nightmare MC, obviously. How many other wars do you know about?”
“Oh, that war,” Grim says and resumes eating. “So Joker heard about some more spoils he could steal from the defeated?”
Grim sounds disgusted by that practice, which I know he is. But we’ve helped Joker and The Lost Sons MC secure a lot of strip clubs and drug selling operations after their original creators were wiped out in this war that the Devils are winning, despite at least six MCs fighting against them.
“No, it’s different this time,” Scorpio says and leaves it at that.
Why did he even bring this up, if he doesn’t want to talk about it? But at the same time, I don’t want to hear it again, so maybe it’s for the best that way.
I lean back in my chair, pull my legs onto the chair and balance the cereal bowl against my knees, staring off at the waking city as I eat. The sun’s barely up so it must be early. I had better plans for how this day would start when I fell asleep last night. But here we are.
“OK, I’ll stop asking questions. You just tell us when you’re good and ready,” Grim says, sounding annoyed. Maybe Scorpio doesn’t even know that’s so, since it’s such a small change in his voice, but I know Grim’s getting as frustrated by this conversation as I am. And the damn phone is ringing again.
“They’re joining the war now,” I say because even the beautiful view and the scent of lavender on the sheet isn’t enough to calm me anymore.
“You are?” Grim asks, his breakfast forgotten. “Why? It’s got nothing to do with you.”
“It’s got a lot to do with us,” Scorpio says. He’s now just pushing his breakfast around on his plate. “It was Joker who came up with it. And me.”
Grim leans back in his chair looking more shocked than I expected to see him.
“The Devils are winning that war on all fronts from what I hear,” Grim says. “It’s stupid to enter it now.”
I’m still not sure he wants Scorpio around for much longer. But this reaction tells me that maybe he does.
Scorpio shrugs but continues looking at his plate of eggs. “Maybe so. But Joker’s got big plans.”
“And you always do what Joker says, right?” Grim says in a disgusted tone.
Scorpio looks up, piercing Grim with a very angry look that’s also very sad somehow. “On this we’re united, yeah. It’s why we formed The Lost Sons MC in the first place. You could say it’s the whole reason for our existence.”
“I don’t get it,” Grim says and actually looks like he’s telling the truth. “Why now? The Devils are too strong. It’s time for the war to end. Not get into it.”
I wish they’d just stop talking about it. I kinda think they want that too. But not talking about it isn’t gonna change the fact that the war is happening.
“It’s like our whole legacy, you know,” Scorpio says. “The Devils killed our families and now we’re gonna do the same to them. Or die trying. But they’re gonna hurt either way.”
The silence that falls feels like winter has found us here even though we’ve spent the last eight months running from it as hard as we could.
I certainly don’t want to hear anything more about this. I had plans for a lot more nice hotel room stays for the three of us in the future. Maybe it would’ve been better, if he’d just left me the night he decided to come to LA with me instead. But, no. That would not have been better. And this is just shit.
“Killed your families, huh?” Grim says. “Why don’t we know anything about this?”
Scorpio shrugs. “You never asked and Joker doesn’t like making a big deal out of it. The Devils don’t know either. He wants to make the big reveal to them when he’s good and ready. And he’s just about ready now.”
“Who were they?” Grim asks. “Your family, I mean?”
“Satan’s Spawn MC,” Scorpio says. “They killed them all, barely left the whores alive.”
“Never heard of them,” Grim says.
Scorpio rolls his eyes in a very sad way. “Figures. It was a good twenty-seven years ago, so before even your time.”
“Just about,” Grim says, sounding like he’s chewing on something hard. Like glass. I feel like I swallowed a bunch of that too.
“Or mine for that matter, I was five when it all went down, so I probably wouldn’t remember anything either if my father’s whore hadn’t taken me in and told me all about how they killed my father and two older brothers. And a couple of uncles and cousins and such. She was full of stories. But Joker had it even worse than that.”
Grim exhales heavily. I would too, if I had any breath left in my lungs. But it’s all just ice. And glass.
“So we gotta do what we gotta do and avenge them,” Scorpio adds. “And that’s why Joker’s calling. Because it’s time.”
“I can understand revenge,” Grim says.
“It’s what we’ve been doing all winter,” I add.
“Good,” Scorpio says. “So I’ll go call Joker back and then I’m gonna head up north to get this done. And you two can decide if you want to come with. Or whether this is the last meal we’re gonna share.”
He pushes his half-finished breakfast away and stands up, not looking at either of us.
This is why he told us all of it. Not to share. Not because he’s not sure he wants to get himself killed in an unwinnable war. But because he wants us to know what we’re signing up for if we stay with him.
I wish he’d just kept quiet about it. Because how can you lose yourself in a fairytale if you know it has a very sad ending?
You can’t. But I so very much wanted to lose myself in this one.
I’m so sick of everything I desire, everything I crave, everything good in my life turning to ash in my hands the moment I start to think I can finally have it. And Scorpio is still the only light I can see at the end of that dark tunnel. Too bad it’s fading fast.