Chapter 24
24
Karma
We’ve been in North Cali for a few days. Scorpio comes and goes now and he won’t tell us anything about what he’s doing when he’s not with us. He’s with us now. We’re sitting on the creaking porch swing at our cabin, the two of them leaning against each other with me draped across their laps, resting against Scorpio’s chest while Grim caresses my bare legs.
There’s no lake here, only tall redwoods and empty cabins all around, but it’s just as peaceful, with the sounds of the forest drowning out all other realities. It’s getting to that time of night when Scorpio usually leaves us to be with his MC. Sometimes he comes back before dawn. Sometimes he doesn’t. Every time he shifts beneath me, I dread that he’s gonna say he has to go. But tonight he got here late, so maybe he’s staying.
Whatever we’ve started here, it’s gotten to that point where something is missing whenever he’s not with us. For me definitely, and I’m starting to believe it’s the same for Grim. We don’t talk about it, because whenever we try, it ends up being a conversation about the war. Just like all our conversations before ended up being about losing Reaper. Those are fewer now.
The solution we’ve come up with is that we don’t talk about anything important. Or anything that has to do with the future. Or the past. We just enjoy each other’s company.
And tonight, Scorpio is here. And yet he’s not.
He shifts again, and my heart misses a few beats. But he only moves his arm so it’s wrapped more snugly around my side.
“Do you have to leave tonight?” I ask, because I can’t stand the suspense any longer. Any more stops and starts to my heart and I might not recover.
“In a while,” he says. “We’re moving to Fire & Heart Inn, it’s this shitty place not far from here?— “
“We know the place,” Grim says.
“It’ll be harder for me to get away after today,” Scorpio adds, and his voice sounds as distant as the wind rustling the trees all around us, but not quite reaching us because they’re so dense.
“Why?” Grim asks.
“Because Joker needs me to watch his back.” There’s absolutely no way to tell whether this is something he’s fine with or not. I’m not.
“Thought you were gonna bring us in on whatever you’re doing,” Grim says. He’s stopped caressing my legs and is now completely focused on Scorpio, even though he’s looking out into the trees. It’s this trick he has. Like a predator pretending not to see the prey even though his whole being is focused on it.
“I haven’t gotten the chance yet,” Scorpio says. “But this job isn’t something you want to be a part of.”
Grim glances at me and we lock eyes. He speaks for the both of us when he says, “We’ve already made our decision. We want in.”
Scorpio looks at both of us, the edge of his lips curling into a grin. “Have you? For me? Because I won’t blame you for sitting this one out.”
“Yeah, for you,” I say and press my body tighter against him. “We’re going to that inn with you.”
“You sure?” he asks. “That place is a dump. It’s much nicer here. I’ll come visit when I can.”
“When you’re not getting killed on Joker’s orders you mean?” Grim asks.
Scorpio was just about to kiss me, but Grim’s angry tone put a stop to that. And made him tense up like he’s expecting a fight. He’s gonna get it if I don’t diffuse this. I know that tone in Grim’s voice.
“I don’t know what you think this is, but it’s clearly not what you think,” Scorpio says, sitting up taller, the kiss forgotten.
He’s glaring at Grim, who’s glaring right back.
“I think you don’t want any part of what Joker’s cooking,” Grim says. “You’ve said as much a few times.”
“Have I?” Scorpio says in his light tone, but it’s hiding sharp steel today, I can feel that too. “Maybe you shouldn’t pay so much attention to me when I’m drunk or high on sex. Because I’m fully behind Joker in this and all things, make no mistake about that.”
There, the steel came out. I don’t know if I’m glad that we’re finally talking about serious things again, or I’d rather go back to pretending.
“Could’ve fooled me,” Grim says, sounding like he’s chewing on the inside of his cheek.
Scorpio lifts me off his lap and stands up. And now I know I’m definitely not glad.
“What do you think you know about me?” he says. “And what do I know about you? We’re just here to have some fun before things get bad. So let’s just keep it that way and stop complicating it.”
“It’s more than just a little fun to me,” I say, my voice soft, but somehow as loud as a scream in the tense silence that followed Scorpio’s words.
They’re both glaring at me and I have no hope of reading what either of them is actually thinking. Grim is probably mad at me wanting to replace Reaper so soon. Scorpio looks like he’d rather pretend he didn’t hear me.
“Come on, now, Karma,” Scorpio says. He’s trying to grin, but it doesn’t want to happen. “Don’t start going soft on me now.”
I don’t know what to say to that so I say nothing. I just look very deeply into his eyes, hoping he’ll stop this charade and admit he feels the same way. Hoping he’ll stop twisting my heart with his lies. He looks away first, glances at Grim as though seeking his support in setting me straight. I hate it when guys do that. I know my mind and I speak my mind. I just did it. Now Grim will probably agree with him and I’ll be left nursing yet another heart wound.
“You heard her,” Grim says, shocking us both.
Until this moment, a large part of me still believed he was only in this to do me a favor, letting me get Scorpio out of my system as penance for dumping me and driving me into his arms.
Scorpio exhales sharply, not meeting our eyes as he picks up his cut off the porch railing where he set it before sitting down with us on the swing.
“I knew we should’ve just gone straight to fucking when I got here instead of sitting out here to chat first,” he says, putting on his cut in a way that seems like he’s using it as armor against us. And it’s working. He’s a different person with it on. Even his usually very bright eyes are dull now.
“Guess I’m gonna take off now after all,” he says. “This isn’t fun anymore.”
“When are you coming back?” I ask, even though I know full well I should stay quiet. But if the answer is never , I need to hear it. Otherwise, I’ll never accept it.
“No idea,” he says and jogs down the step, hurrying to his bike.
The sound of him starting the engine fills the forest and echoes over the trees long after he disappears among them. At least he didn’t say never . But I’m not entirely sure that’s a good thing.
I only very slowly become aware that Grim is staring at me while I stare off into the dark trees. I look at him and that prey-catching stare is very bright in his eyes.
“We’re going to the inn too, right?” he asks, but it’s more of a statement. Almost an order.
“I think we have to,” I say. “He needs us as much as we need him.”
I expected a derisive snort. I expected to be told that Scorpio isn’t worth my time, that I don’t know what I need and that he certainly doesn’t need anyone but me. Instead, he nods.
“I already called the others,” he says. “Psycho’s arriving tomorrow morning. I’ll tell him to meet us at the inn instead of here.”
It’ll be good to see our MC brothers and sisters again.
“So you don’t think we should just ride on out of here?” I ask. “This could get dangerous real fast and maybe he really doesn’t want us around anymore.”
He shakes his head. “No, this isn’t finished.”
It’s the certainty in his voice that convinces me too. Because it’s so perfectly aligned with how I feel. And it’s been a while since Grim and I were this in synch. We both want Scorpio in our lives. And that has to mean it’s gotta happen, right? I wish I could be certain of that too.