Chapter 27
27
Karma
I fell asleep with both Grim and Scorpio holding me and I’d hoped to wake up that way too. No such luck. The room is dark when I wake, the sky outside the windows starless, I’m alone and even their smell is gone. It’s replaced by the smell of this rancid inn. Death. In all its many shades.
But I’m still a little high from the orgasm they gave me and I’m not ready to start complaining again, not even in my head. Although this place is top of my list of places I never want to stay at. But Grim has known the owner, Eddie since before my time and we find ourselves here more often than not. But honestly, I’d rather be here, exploring this thing that makes me forget how much I hate dirty sheets, than anywhere else.
The party downstairs is well on its way, loud music, laughter, fistfights, and the clink of bottles rising from the bar. The party is wild in several of the rooms too, heralded by moans and screams and the creaking and banging of beds. Strangely, it’s not as off-putting as usual, or making me wish to make a run for it. I just want some of that too.
Used to be, wild places like this excited me. Places where anything can happen and often does. I was alive, I was free and I could do anything I wanted to. And I did. I’m not sure when that changed. But now the tendrils linking me back to those years of carefree fun are growing stronger and brighter. I might be ready to let them pull me back again.
So much so I even chance a shower in the questionable bathroom where the tub is brown and black with more than just normal rust. But I won’t think about that.
My excitement wanes somewhat as I have to dodge no less than six guys on my way downstairs, drunk off their assess and looking for a good time. As if anyone could show me a better time than what I have right now.
The party in the bar has spilled into the parking lot, where fires are burning, making the sea of bikes parked in front of the bar glow orange and look like the world is engulfed in flame. The shadows beyond the firelight are alive too. There’s people fighting, dancing, even fucking and the inside of the bar is calm in comparison.
Grim is standing by the bar talking to Eddie, and Scorpio is sitting at a table with his back to the wall, sort of seeing nothing and everything at the same time. He sees me clearly; I feel his gaze follow me all the way to the bar where I grab a cold beer and pay for it by placing a couple of bills into the jar next to the cooler.
Grim notices me too. And how! I don’t remember the last time his eyes on me made electricity dance through my veins the way it does tonight. But I remember it used to. In the beginning and for years afterwards. I’m ready for the tendrils to pull me back to that time too.
I walk slowly past Scorpio’s table, making sure he knows I know he’s watching me, which rewards me with a small smile that is just for me. But it turns into a frown the moment I sit down next to Joker where he’s playing poker with three Devil’s Nightmare MC guys. They don’t look like they’re about to go to war against each other, and I want to find out what the hell that means.
They all know me, but have clearly been instructed not to show it, just like we had been. I do get some interesting looks though. Not lewd though. They’ve tried that in the past and it led no further than Reaper’s fists. I’m glad he never beat up Scorpio. That handsome face is too good to waste like that. Maybe he felt the same way. Just one more thing I’ll never find out now. The grief still burns when it comes at me like this, unexpected. Still takes my breath away. But it’s getting easier not to focus on it so hard.
“Deal me in,” I say toss a couple of crumpled up bills on the table. They’re not playing for terribly high stakes, so I should be able to hold my own. But I’m not here to win money. I just need the chance to see what they’re thinking. I’m good at reading men’s faces.
But a couple of hands later, the only faces I can read are Grim’s and Scorpio’s. They’re sitting side by side now, both focused solely on me. Psycho who is also sitting with them looks kind of forlorn, since he’s getting no attention. Just the fact that they’re together warms my heart. Even the loud conversations all around us are just a familiar, almost pleasant buzz as I bask in their attention and the smoke trailing low in the air makes it seem like a scene from some good movie. Just a couple of weeks ago, I thought I’d never be happy again. Now my very skin is spiking with it.
Not to mention it all makes Joker’s stupid conversation easier to bear.
He usually wins, since he’s clearly got this game all figured out. Or he’s cheating. I wouldn’t put it past him either way. I sense absolutely no animosity between him and the other three guys. At least none that’s not related to how much money they’ve already lost to him.
“What will it be?” I ask him since he’s taking an abnormally long time to make a bet.
He goes all in. And wins again with a full house. If his shirt sleeves weren’t rolled up to the elbows, I’d be sure he was palming cards, but as it is, I don’t know how he keeps winning.
He clears out after that, which I take as a cue that Scorpio is finally off the clock too. I get another beer from the bar then walk over to Grim, sitting in his lap and wrapping my arm around his shoulders. He tenses under me, probably because we don’t usually display our affection publicly. But we used to and tonight’s the night when it all comes back. I’ve already decided.
Psycho grins at us then takes it as his cue to find his fun elsewhere for the night.
“How about we go outside,” I say, making sure Scorpio can hear me too. “I want to watch the stars.”
Grim grunts then stands up with me in his arms before setting me down and leading me outside by my hand. Another thing he hasn’t done in ages. We’ve belonged to each other for so long that we’ve stopped showing it. But I’m once again ready to let the whole world know who I belong to. And as soon as Scorpio can stop ignoring me, I’ll show the whole world that he belongs to me too.
Grim leads me to a grassy spot beside the back wall. We’re hidden from view from the parking lot and the bar, there’s no people here and no fires are burning near. the sky above us is covered with stars so bright their light illuminates even that absolute darkness between them that holds them in place.
Scorpio is right behind us, but he doesn’t sit in the spot beside me that I tapped when I saw him.
“You guys aren’t gonna give me shit about Joker again tonight, are you?” he asks, sounding like someone who’s as sick of feeling bad as I am.
“No,” I say as Grim shakes his head. “I don’t want to argue tonight.”
“Me either,” Grim says.
“Me three,” Scorpio adds as he finally sits down next to me, wrapping his arm around my waist because my shoulders are already occupied by Grim’s. I lean against them both, which isn’t hard to do with how close they’re holding me.
“I remember this place from back when it was the Stone Dogs MC clubhouse,” Grim says.
“Is that the club One Arm Eddie used to run?” Scorpio asks. “What happened to it?”
Grim bristles beside me. “He doesn’t like being called that.”
“Fine, fine,” Scorpio says, tensing a little too. “But I thought we weren’t gonna argue.”
“Yeah,” Grim says and relaxes again, squeezing Scorpio’s shoulder in apology. That reaction makes me happier than any words ever could.
“Eddie’s road name used to be Fists,” Grim says. “But then he lost his arm in a crash and ditched the name too. After that, he lost himself in a bottle for a few years. And by the time he crawled back out, most of his guys ditched him too. The three that help him run this place were the most loyal. But they’re not calling themselves an MC anymore.”
“No, they just run one of the most disgusting inns on the West Coast,” Scorpio says.
“Hey, without no-questions-asked places like this, we’d be sitting in a jail cell right now,” I say then lean over to kiss him lightly on the lips. “And aren’t you glad we’re not?”
I kiss Grim too so he won’t feel left out.
“I am,” Scorpio admits.
“The rooms may be disgusting, but there’s precious few places where I can sit like this on an evening and not worry that some random cop car driving by is gonna take my freedom,” I add.
“Yeah,” Scorpio says. “But Eddie and the boys could keep the place a little cleaner. I mean, it doesn’t take much. Just a lot of bleach.”
Even Grim chuckles at that.
“That Roaring Brook town you call your HQ isn’t much cleaner than this,” Grim says. “Might even be dirtier.”
Roaring Brook is an abandoned town that The Lost Sons MC operate from. It’s not too far from here and Grim’s not kidding, the place is a pigsty.
“That’s not our HQ,” Scorpio says quietly and takes a long swig from the bottle of bourbon he brought with him.
“Oh, yeah?” I ask, since this is total news to me and we’ve been working with them for years now. “And where is that?”
“Can’t tell you,” he says. “But it’s even safer from cops than this inn.”
“But you can’t take us there because Joker won’t let you.” The words just spill from my mouth, the promise I made when he sat down clearly not strong enough to hold them back. But he started it.
“You got it all wrong about me and Joker,” he says. “He’s my best friend in the world. He’s family. There’s only so much shit I’ll listen to about him.”
“He looked like he’s best friends with those three Devils in there too,” I say. “And he’s gearing up to kill them all.”
Scorpio shakes his head and takes his arm from around my waist. I’m sorry I broke my promise. But maybe not as much as I should be.
“We’re your friends too,” Grim says, taking the words right from my mind. “At least we’re trying to be. But that won’t happen if you’re dead.”
For all his intensity and quick temper, Grim has a voice that could calm even a raging bull. Soft and just deep enough to fill your whole chest like soft mist, dampening and quenching all fires. It seems to work on Scorpio too, because he runs his fingers through his hair and leans back against the wall with a sigh.
“I can’t tell you what you want to hear,” he says. “As much as I like being here with the both of you, I can’t tell you it’s gonna last. It’d be a lie.”
“Just do what you want to do,” Grim says. “Don’t blindly follow your friend into a war you don’t want.”
Scorpio scoffs. “The war is for me.”
I don’t know what to say to that, and judging by Grim’s surprised gasp he doesn’t either.
He recovers faster. “Because the Devils killed your families, yes, I get that. But is it worth losing your lives as well? Because the Devils don’t lose.”
“Yeah, we know they don’t,” Scorpio says. “That’s why the plan is way more elaborate than that. It’ll do maximum damage whether we beat them or not.”
“What’s the plan?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Can’t tell you the plan.”
Then he turns to us and smiles weakly. His eyes are as soft as the lake where I spent one of the best weeks of my life with him. The lake that’s forever etched into my skin. And my heart.
“Can’t we just roll with it, go where it leads?” he asks. “Maybe it’ll all work out for the best. I know I’m due some good stuff happening from God, or the universe or whatever. And I’m sure you are too.”
The plea in his voice wraps itself around my heart and squeezes so tight I almost shed a tear.
I wrap my arm around him and pull him close, happy that he lets me, happy that he buries his face in my chest.
“Yeah, we can do that,” Grim says in his calming, mist-like voice, speaking for the both of us.
This is a promise I’ll keep if it kills me, all the while hoping it won’t. Because he’s absolutely right in that we have good things coming. Even if life or the universe rarely plays fair. Which is why you gotta take what you need. And that’s what I’m gonna do from now on. Take the good, leave the rest. Come what may.