Chapter 39
39
Scorpio
Just being back in Justice, just riding towards it, down the long dusty road running between the tall, rolling, desert hills took a huge weight off my shoulders. A weight I didn’t even know I was carrying.
But between worrying about the Devils getting wind of Joker’s plan and Karma and Grim pestering me about it, I’d been wound pretty tight, it seems. Not so much anymore. The Devils won’t just find us here. This town doesn’t exist on any map and in all the years since Joker found it on one of his soul-searching solo rides, no other person has come near. Not even by accident.
And seeing Eden all defiant, talking back to Joker like he wasn’t leading her around on a chain was nice too. The way he looked like a lost little boy when she talked back to him, instead of crying and being afraid like he expected she’d be once he brought her here was absolutely priceless. I wanted to spend the rest of the night, and the rest of our lives, for that matter, making fun of him for that. But it’s best I let him realize how much he likes her on his own. Too much mocking will just get his back up and delay the process.
Karma and Grim have absolutely nothing to worry about. I just wish they were here. They staged quite an attack on us as we were leaving the forest compound. But I’m sure that was just some sort of last-minute ploy of Joker’s that he didn’t see fit to tell me about.
Karma aimed the gun right at me, and if I didn’t know better I’d be sure she was about to shoot me dead. But I did know she’d never do that. So I know it was all just some weird plan of Joker’s.
He’s upstairs with Eden now, calling her father, Ice, to explain in detail how he plans on getting his revenge by torturing Eden. I don’t hear any screaming, so I guess they’re just talking.
I’m enjoying the desert evening on the front porch of the big house on the hill in Justice, which Joker claimed for himself. It would be even nicer if there was a breeze tonight, but the air is solid, like a very hot wall. To make up for it, some evening critters are chirping in the bushes nearby and I feel safe like I rarely do anywhere.
I should probably go down into town and clean my own house before Karma and Grim get here. If they see that pigsty they might want nothing to do with me anymore and I don’t want to risk that. But I’m enjoying the peace and quiet up here while one hell of a party seems to be going on down in town. We’d left all the club whores here when we left to get Eden and they seemed to have missed us. That scene’s not for me anymore. Even before, no woman measured up to Karma and now that I’ve had her, none can. As for Grim, I get very clear vibes that he feels he owns me now, and I don’t want to mess with that either.
The front door of the house opens with a whoosh and Joker storms out of the house, slamming the door behind him so hard the whole porch rattles and shakes.
“Careful there, this old house can’t stand that kind of abuse,” I tell him.
This is one of those Wild West wooden homes and must be close to one-hundred and fifty years old. It’s still perfectly functional, if very creaky, but we should treat it gently.
Joker grunts something and comes to join me where I’m sitting in a squealing rocking chair that’s nevertheless surprisingly sturdy for its age.
“So, she broken yet?” I ask.
I don’t even get so much as a grunt in response. He’s just staring off at the town at the foot of this hill.
“You should at least feed her,” I offer. “You don’t want to starve her to death. Or do you?”
“She can starve. What the fuck do I care?” he snaps.
“So it didn’t go well?” I ask, smiling.
He doesn’t even look at me, but I feel him bristling like he’s ready to fight me if I don’t tread carefully here. That just makes me smile harder.
“Ice knows I got her and he knows who I am,” he says. “That’s good enough for tonight. The fucking Forsaken Outlaws turned on us. I gotta go see if anyone told them how to find this town.”
“What do you mean, turned on us?” I ask. All the air has gone from the world as far as I’m concerned. I must’ve heard him wrong.
“You didn’t notice them turning around and shooting up the compound as we were leaving with Eden? They killed Tiny and Brick.”
I saw them fall, but I figured it was for show. They had only joined us recently, after the Devils destroyed their MC in one battle or another.
“I thought that was part of some last-minute plan of yours,” I mutter, my mouth suddenly dry as though it’s full of dust.
“Nope, Karma and her boys betrayed us,” Joker says with a sneer. “So you can stop pining over her now because she’s a fucking rat.”
I go straight into pretend-land in my head. The place where I never fell in love with Karma and Grim. The place where they both still hate me. I’m good at pretending like that. It’s how I survived all the shit I’ve been through. And it’s a good thing too, because if I wasn’t so good at shutting out what I don’t want to face, I’d be puking my guts out right about now.
I rock back in my chair, drinking some of my bourbon, hoping it’ll wash away the dust. It doesn’t. It just burns.
“I guess that’s that then,” I mutter, pouring some of the drink onto the floor the way I would for a fallen brother. How could they betray me like this? How could they make me believe they loved me? “Good fucking riddance, I guess.”
“Yeah, I’m sure we’ll meet them in some battle soon,” Joker says, eyeing me like he knows something’s wrong in my head. It is. But he’s never gonna know about it.
“On the wrong side.”
“The bitch never gave you the time of day,” he says exasperatedly. “Why are you acting this way over her betraying us?”
I shrug and drink some more. It’s starting to taste better. Like it’s gonna let me stay in pretend-land if I just drink enough of it.
“They don’t know about Justice,” I tell him. “Only Roaring Brook. That’s where they’ll lead the Devils.”
Thank fucking God I never told them much about this place. I wanted to, I meant to describe it to them in detail, thinking they’d like it, since it’s a place where they could live free and not have to worry about getting caught. A place where Karma could have those clean sheets she’s always dreaming about and a real espresso machine like they have in those fancy coffee shops.
“I’m gonna go check on that with the others too,” Joker says
“It’d be better if you just finish up the shit with Eden,” I say but he just shakes his head and walks away.
I start dreading the silence and being alone on this porch before he’s even on his bike.
How could I have been so stupid? Why did I trust them? Trust them enough to tell all my darkest secrets? They’re probably laughing about that now… how I let Grim fuck me when I promised myself no guy would ever do that. I feel as dirty as I did when I made that promise, covered in the blood of the two monsters who made it necessary. My hands are shaking just as bad as they did that night. I butchered those two, stabbed them so many times I lost count. What do I do to Grim and Karma for this betrayal?
I wanna say I’ll kill them both, but I can’t even think it.
I was just an idiot for trusting them. Like always.
Nothing I can do to change that now. The war is coming fast now. Maybe we’ll meet on the opposite sides of the battlefield. I’ll make my decision about what to do with them then.
But I can do something else now, before I get too drunk to care about anything.
I lay my bottle down on the dusty porch planks and walk into the house, the creaking and groaning deafening as I climb the steps to the first floor.
Eden’s bedroom is dark, but there’s no fear in her voice as she says, “What do you mean to do? Starve me to death?”
But there’s plenty of fear on her face as I turn on the light and she sees I’m not Joker. I very nearly take a step back at that fear. I’m not used to seeing it on people’s faces when they look at me and I don’t like it.
It seems her tough girl act is reserved just for Joker and whatever they have going on. Because she looks scared as all hell of me. She’s even moving away from me, though she can’t get far because he chained her up good. She’s all contorted, sitting on the floor like a dog. I can’t believe Joker just left her like this.
“Not much breaking going on in here,” I say as I approach her. “Just as I thought.”
“No one’s gonna break me,” she says and I’m glad to hear the defiance back in her voice.
“Who are you?” she asks.
I don’t think we need to get to know each other. I’m done trying to make friends. A part of me wants to just leave her chained up. It’s the same part that hopes Joker will follow through in his sick plan of torturing and raping her. But it’s not a very loud part.
She yanks the chain she’s bound with out of my hand when I grab hold of it. Such fire. Such fight. I wish I still had that. I lost it a long time ago. Found some of it again with Karma and Grim. And lost it all over again just a couple of minutes ago when I learned how they betrayed me. I laugh at that. Not happily.
“What? Do you want to stay chained up here like a dog?” I ask, showing her the lock picks I’m holding.
“You’re just gonna chain me up some other way,” she says.
I toss the bag of food I brought her onto the bed beside her.
“I brought you some food and water, and thought you might like to use the toilet,” I say. “But if you’d rather stay chained up and wait for Joker, that’s fine by me. He could be a while though.”
I’m done arguing with her, because I’m suddenly very tired. I just want my bottle and sleep, so I head for the door. She wants to stay chained up like an animal, she can. I tried to help her. I can say that. Probably should’ve tried harder, but nothing much matters to me anymore.
“Yes, I do need to use the bathroom,” she finally says. “Please… please unchain me.”
The sincere innocence in her voice makes me laugh. Did I ever sound like this? Probably. Possibly while begging my captors to at least untie me. I remember doing that. Vaguely. “OK, but only because you asked so politely.”
I never got that response from the monsters that tied me up. Had to rip right through the zip ties they used to do it, nearly severing my hands off in the process, to get free. My wrists still ache on cold, rainy days from those wounds.
I untie her. It’s the least I can do for her, and my own conscience. It’s hard, causing someone the same ordeal that still haunts me fifteen years after I survived it. However this plays out, she’s still gonna be scarred for life by this, one way or another. I should’ve told Joker to come up with a different plan. But it’s too late for that now. Too late for all of us.
I jangle the chain in front of her face. “Don’t do anything stupid like try to run. This is a privilege. Abuse it and you’ll end up in the basement. And you won’t like that at all.”
This house doesn’t even have a basement, but she doesn’t know that. She swallows hard and nods, her eyes so innocently obedient I have to laugh. Then I point out the bathroom and start walking to the door.
“Thank you,” she calls after me. “What’s your name?”
The question makes me stop dead. I know what she’s doing. She’s thinking she’ll make friends with me and then I’ll help her escape. A classic tactic. And hell, a part of me wants to do it. I won’t. But she can at least know I was the one who treated her kindly from the start. That would go a long way towards easing my conscience.
“The name’s Scorpio,” I say. “But don’t try to make friends with me. I’m not your friend. Never will be.”
“Got it, you were messed up because of something the Devils did too,” she says. “And now you want me dead.”
She has no idea how bad I was messed up. And she never will. Because I’m never trusting anyone else with that story. It dies with me now. Soon, I hope.
“I’d like to see the Devils eat some of their own medicine, yeah,” I tell her. “That’d go a long way.”
Not far enough though.
“It can’t change the past,” she says.
“Yeah, I know that too.”
I leave the room and lock her inside. I can see why Joker likes her. She’s smart and she’s pretty and she’s innocent and pure. All the things Joker and I never got to be.
Nothing will change that. We’re never gonna get the kind of love I thought I’d found with Karma and Grim. Just not in the cards for us.
And what in my life so far made me think they were honestly into me? That they could be in love with me? Absolutely nothing. But like the na?ve dumbass I am, I fell for it. Again.
There’ll be no more of that now. Only fighting. Only revenge. Only death. It’s about time for it anyway. I got nothing to show for my life anyway. Just a whole bunch of bad memories and regrets.